International and Local Darts Championships

[Captain Shamrock]

The Buc?

Double In Hluecka,

There will be 4 ranked players making their way to the Buc and Ear tonight in the heart of Steveston. Double and Triple One, along with the Executioner, and everyone's favorite punching bag, the Total Package. If you're around look for the chicks, as they will be surrounding the dart board.

Executioner

 

[SC]

no where else to go

Don't worry Capt'n, I'll steer clear of THAT area!

+SCdoesnotlikethatherfridaynightoptionsarebeingminimalized!

 

[Screw You Captain]

Elephants and other large mammals

Apologies for a late entry to the merriment! Double one, nice work with the legend of your arrows are the photos. Apparently, the producers of Survivor wanted to have a darts challenge in Africa but weren't able to find any darts of the high-quality craftsmanship we saw Wednesday.

Will Ballandchainhurricane Mulgrew make an appearance tonight? He lived up to his nickname Wednesday (hurricane, not B & C), disposing of all players -except Scud- with his speed darts.

In other news, Scud took a commanding lead on the 2-dart circuit, growing in popularity daily, earlier today at the SP Middle Board. The executioner's avoidance technique of showing up late and "forgetting" his arrows were not enough... We used to 2 darts we found in the dumpster...

Anyway, good luck tonite

 

[Captain Shamrock]

New Standings.......

From now on(ever since Hurricane beat me of course), we will be keeping track of games won. It will not necessarily always be a best of three situation. However, when the Executioner feels like putting the belt up, it will be a best of three. There were a few tense moments for the Executioner earlier tonight at the Buc. Once the girl in the red showed up with her nuggets hanging out of her top, my game took a turn for the better, surprisingly.

Anyway, here are the results after an entertaining couple of hours at the Buc. 4 contenders were present, and 4 quality birds who were with their entourage of Jackthelads......So here are the results:

The Executioner - 7 - 1

The Total Package - 3 - 4

Double One - 2 - 4

Triple One - 1 - 4

I must admit that Triple One had me on the ropes. In the first game, I blew a 300 point lead and ended up losing. I bounced back in the second game with a clinical 2, double 1 finish. My finishing was fcuking awful against TOne.

The Total Package played his best darts to date, but was bounced 2 games to nil by the Executioner. I was very lucky that the finishing was okay in that match......

Double One defeated T Package 2 - 1, and Total Package returned the favor on Triple One with a 2 - 0 win.

The Executioner beat Double One 3 - 0 and Triple One 2 - 1.

In a special Doubles match, Double/Triple One took a 1 - 0 lead over The TP and The Ex. but the experience of the latter prevailed with 2 straight wins.

On a side note, Doug "Tin Darts" Wooten showed up but failed to make an effort to play. Instead, he went with his other 'buddies' and played pool. Granted, his 'buddies' were the guys who had the nice looking birds, I think.......

The rankings will be interesting on Sunday, to say the least..

 

[Captain Shamrock]

A new number one????????

An impromptu match arranged by Hurricane Mulgrew was the highlight at O'Hare's East Board. It was an entertaining hour and a bit of darts, with Hurricane Mulgrew prevailing 4 - 3.

All the games came down to the wire, except the Executioner's second win, in which Hurricane had yet to get going, as he was left with 317 . The Hurricane's finishing continues to be the difference. Things will be interesting tomorrow night when the rankings come out. Did the Executioner do enough to maintain his number one ranking? It will be up to the D.C.S. members to make the decision tomorrow night at 9:00.


Maybe, one day, Hurricane Mulgrew will stop being a lurker and actually join the fcuking site. Maybe, a new rule will have to be in place. To be a member of the D.C.S., one must be legitimate member of TTP. Hurricane, get your ass in gear and sign up.....


Executioner

 

[knvb]

Rookie observation.

I cought the footage from O'Hares hidden camera. I like to keep close tabs on my competition. I noticed the Captain form was off tonight. Maybe you threw one to many snowballs this weekend? You seemed to be forcing it.

Hope this helps......

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Thanks, that should help a lot..... I am actually experimenting with different grips because my darts are fluttering all over the shop. However, I played well enough against Hurricane yesterday. He was able to finish efficiently.


I think I have found a grip that might work, so I will try it out today. I must go to the Buc to play under match conditions. As for the rankings, they will be posted at around 9:00 tonight. Right now, it looks like the Executioner will maintain his number one ranking, according to the new rankings system......I will elaborate later....


Executioner

 

[Home Brew]

If you really want to work on your form, then we all might just learn something from watching channel 82 at 8:00 tonight, where some big pro tournament is being televised ( that is if you are a paid subscriber to Digital Cable and can actually get the fcking channel)

Thanks for the invite, Captain, but any arrows today are highly doubtful for this family, except possibly a few unsanctioned matches in the dungeon (that is if the board is not frozen and arrows are actually capable of entering the board).

By the way, Captain, I'd be interested in hearing what your wife's reaction is to this new-found interest in darts. Does she see you anymore these days? Do you guys communicate now via Take the Piss? I sure hope my wife is as understanding...



Drew "Double One"

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I think is helping the marriage. At least now, with the board up in the house, I can practice and still pretend to communicate. Our latest conversation went something like this:

"shite."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't figure out which fcuking grip to use."

"I guess you just have to stick to one grip and don't change."

End of conversation. Of course, we were talking about darts, and I was the first to speak, in case anyone was wondering......


Executioner

 

[Home Brew]

re: "the hurricane mulgrew" (aka ball and chain)

Rumour has it that the Hurricane is spending most of his time travelling around the lower mainland looking for new darts.
He considers everything sold by Canadian Tire to be a piece of shite. Will this new purchase result in improvement or confusion while he is adapting his technique to his new-found triplets?

SideWinder

 

[knvb]

Tip of the week?

Captain~

As current #1 on the tour who better to better to ask for tips and encouragement than you. As you may know I have just purchased my first board and am looking to improve on my current average score of 32. What tips do you have?

Perhaps if this takes off you could start your own thread of Tips and strategies. Maybe a Tip of the week thread would be in order?


Throwing aimlessly , KNVB

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I know it is an average, but how the hell are you scoring 32. Common scores for players who are not ranked first range from 2(something Total Package/Sidewinder often throw) to 26.

32 is a high score for a lot of the ranked players but it is all about finishing.


TIP ONE: You must find a comfortable grip. The grip has to be right for you and don't change it, even when you're having a stinking match. This happened to me recently against Hurricane, and I think it cost me the first game. I even resorted to using the pub's darts because my rhythm was off...... Most importantly, you have to play against someone else other than your father-in-law. The lads are having a good laugh at your expense. You must play a sanctioned match against one of the contenders soon.


ExecutionerwhoisofftothePumphousetoplayacoupleofsanctioned matchesagainstTTPSidewinderandDoubleOne.

Hurricane Mulgrew has bailed again, and will be unranked by the end of the week, if he doesn't sign up for TTP.

 

[knvb]

Your right 32 was just a throw out number. I played 4 or 5 rounds of practice tonight and I was writing down allot of 27's and 41's, but there were a smattering of 60+. I didn't keep the sheet.

Finishing has always been a problem for me. With an IQ of 118 I usually find myself fighting with an impossible target because the math skills have failed and I have over shot the easier combo's.

As for the lads and there chuckle, I shall be in the Richmond area Wednesday with my CDN tire specials(and Calculator) in toe. I could defend the family honour then. Please advise.

 

[Screw You Captain]

rankings and other injustices

Captain Scabby,

I will be looking forward seeing the data to explain the inexplicable: my dramatic freefall from third to sixth.

I will withhold my scathing Scud-Missile-like counter attack until I see the data.

Thatisallfornow

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Scud,

You lost ground because I haven't seen you win a match in quite some time now. Also, you broke the law today. We can't have any law-breaking darts players in this organization.....

KNVB,

Wednesday is shaping up nicely, if you can make it in. I believe Jinky and Buckfast are coming in too, along with some of the other regulars. Even Screw You will make it, if we can pull him away from the Pacific Coliseum.

The action tonight was tainted from the opening arrow. I know Sidewinder was pulling all the stops tonight to try and throw me off my game. We decided to meet at the Pumphouse, after Sidewinder had been explaining how wonderful the dart boards looked when he was last there. Upon arrival, I noticed immediately that the boards were too low. Also, there were no fcuking markings on the floor to determine distance from the board, that was too short. Already, I could see what Double One and Sidewinder were up to. So we made our way down to O'Hare's East board.

At this point, I was physically drained from the amount of walking I had to do from my car to the pubs, mainly because of the treacherous conditions my aching body had to endure. By the time, I made it into O'Hare's, I just didn't feel right. I guess, as the number one player, I have to expect this kind of gamesmanship from all the players below me. Sidewinder even resorted to giving me an elbow in the sternum, as I went to put up my score.

The first match pitted the Executioner and Double One. The Executioner took a 150 point lead, but once again failed to finish, leaving himself with the dreaded double one. Double one finished nicely and won 1 - 0. Despite the loss, my perserverance was nothing less than spectacular. I proceeded to pummel Sidewinder in 2 unsanctioned 301 matches in the shitty west board. Meanwhile, Total Package Naidu strolled through his first 2 unsanctioned matches and beat Double One.

The Executioner then played Sidewinder in a brutal match that took both players to double one. Fortunately, for all adoring Executioner fans, he came out on top. This set up a Total Package/Executioner tilt. This was a slam dunk from the start as the Total Package looked beat after his first score of 2, and I managed a couple of Tons along the way. The end result was a nice double 7 finish.

This set up a Sidewinder/Total Package match. Both players played as if they wanted to close the place down(it was only 10:00) and Sidewinder finally prevailed with the dreaded double one finish...... Total Package quickly grabbed his hat/gloves and was on his way. He then stated that he wants to play 20 more matches this week to try and improve his ranking. Of course, after watching him get hammered in his last two matches, the other players rapidly accepted the offer.

Hurricane Mulgrew is out of the rankings if he doesn't sign up. This is the last warning for the Hurricane from the D.C.S.

I had a great laugh when Sidewinder finished the night by saying,

" That's the first win I've had in ages."

TPackage's face said it all. Another humiliating loss for the Total Package.


Executioner

 

[knvb]

Draw?

Captain~

What's the line up for Wednesday? Who have I drawn in the first round? As can be expected I am very nervous about my first sanctioned match.

BTW, What are the particulars for tomorrow?

Can't seem to hit a 'Double in'

 

[Screw You Captain]

Midweek action

Scud Missile will be in attendance tomorrow on 2 conditions. Firstly, I will see if the labour movement in this province can spare my presence, and secondly, if I can get a note from the potential future Mrs. Scud Missile.

Captain, your eyes must be in worse shape than your groin if you haven't seen me win a match recently.

See you tomorrow, bring the Elephant tranquilizers, Shaka Zulu.

Ps:

Sport: Teaching in the classroom, where I should be

Who the fcuk were you teaching? Don't forget your brown shirt...

 

[Captain Shamrock]

The Buc and Ear.....

I will phone the Sidewinder family and we'll try and get the 'soon to be kicked out of the rankings" Hurricane to show up. I think the Buc and Ear would be the best set up because both boards are legitimate. O'Hare's only has one board and there will probably be bigger people in the way, like last week......

Legends does not have a dart board, The Garage does not have a correct distance from the board, and the Pioneer has the same problem. So, although in the heart of Steveston, the Buc seems like the best option. The boards in the Pumphouse are too low(Thanks, Sidewinder). I could be there by 8:15. I will phone now and find out. Bucky/Jinky, if you're coming into Richmond let me know where you plan on going.......

The Buc is located on Third Avenue a couple of blocks west of Number One Road.........


Executioner

 

[Captain Shamrock]

No wonder....

This little tidbit from World #8 John Part(Canadian) might explain why I haven't really improved since the insertion of my dart board at home.....


Let the people around you know that you do not wish to be disturbed(for what it's worth). Play some music that you enjoy in order to mask any other sounds that might otherwise distract you, such as children or noisy neighbours.

Obviously, having two darling daughters, ages 3.5 and 2, is not helping my career. I guess my career will bloom when they leave home......

The next quote might explain Sidewinder and the Total Package phoning my house ALL the time. They are trying any strategy to cut into my daily training regiment. Bastards. If it is not sending me to pubs with insufficient boards, it is the constant harassment during my practice schedule, which are consequently hindering my ability to excel in the world of darts.

Once you have an idea of how long you wish to practise, you then must decide when to practise. Some people have more options than others, but the goal should be to pick a time when you are least likely to be called away, or a time when you can turn your telephone off.


BTW, I just threw my THIRD one hundred and eeeeeiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhtttttttyyyyyyyy tonight......

Executioner

 

[Gaffa]

180's are all well and good captain but...

...you had a 170, 3 dart close on, which last time I played was a treble 20, treble 20, bull...thanks for coming mate finish!. Then turn very quickly toward your opponent with the outstretched hand, with a look on ya face that suggests it was as easy as shelling peas, son!. Quick hand shake then a sly "next"as you head for your pint...

Dartseh!timetogetthearrowsoutandheadforRichmondGaffa