International and Local Darts Championships

[Screw You Captain]

speaking of avoidance...

Yes, the Captain did play a sanctioned match with me on the hallowed Middle Board, and probably would have lost the belt if I hadn't scored 56 with twelve darts.

What he didn't post was fact that he bailed out on a potential showdown with Don'-Call-Me-Darling, perhaps Australia's greatest dart prodigy. Here's how it went:

DCMD:"So, shall we play today then?"

EXECUTIONER: "I, uh, got to, uh, kids, uh, test, uh, car trouble,
I.."
You get the gist. Good luck to Sidewinder and Double-One tracking him down.

 

[MARCOPOLO]

Lennox Lewis, I mean "The Executioner" refrains from putting the 24/7 hardcore darts championship on the line.

EXECUTIONER: "I, uh, got to, uh, kids, uh, test, uh, car trouble,

Captain, What's going on here?

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Whatever......

Scud Missile Sweeney is obviously making up stories. When you plummet down the rankings like he has recently, mind games are the only thing left to try. It didn't work and it never will. I did say that I had to be at home before the kids got home around 5:00. If we went to the other establishment, I would not have made it. So, I decided to thump Scud and call it a week. Once again, the pressure being the number one ranked player, has yet to phase me.

Total Package, make sure you call me and we will make arrangements to possibly meet Hurricane for a few matches?

Captain

 

[MARCOPOLO]

Everyone is trying to take down #1

I've just looked at a few of the recent posts and everyone seems to want a piece of the "The Executioner".

Apparantly the Executioner obviously needs additional time to practice on his new board at Casa Burns before risking his belt, and used the excuse of needing to visit the hot tub at the community centre to avoid playing.

Is this Drew the home brew Arnold taking a stab at the Executioner and his inability to put his title up for grabs. The Executioner wouldn't be selective in his matches, now would he?

Is the Executioner really going to take this abuse from the cellar dwellers (literally)?

More importantly will all the Arnolds be out to challenge the Executioner tonight?

Marco "The Total Package" Polo

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I don't get it. The phone was ringing off the hook yesterday for a shot at the Executioner. Now, that I am available to play a match, no one phones. Obviously, it is an easy way out for everyone, knowing what is happening in my social life.......


Executioner

 

[Captain Shamrock]

A good work out tonight for the Executioner; 9 matches of 501 followed with 20 minutes of a "Dr. Ho" massage on the shoulder. This is the difference between the Executioner and the rest of the pretenders. The Sidewinder, Double One, Triple One are all stuck in a garage, playing in temperatures that are similar to Lambeau Field in December. Scud Missile has decided to try practicing by simulating a 501 match, visually. He has heard about studies where people who visualized free throws performed better than people who didn't practice or visualise their technique. Unfortunately, it doesn't work in darts, Scud.

KNVB is trying to find someone other than his father-in-law to play, so people can take him seriously. "Ballandchain" Mulgrew is off watching more movies than Siskel and Ebert did during their run at the top, and the Total Package just keeps thinking about purchasing a dart board. So, with all this in mind, here are the weekly Sunday night rankings:

1) Stephen "The Executioner" Burns
2) Vince "Total Package" Naidu
3) Brian "Scud Missile" Sweeney
4) Dave "Sidewinder" Arnold
5) Tim " Triple One " Arnold
6) Dave "Double In " Hluecka(I have no idea if this is right)
7) Drew "Double One" Arnold
8) Dave " El Nino" Lawrence
9) Jimmy "Ballandchain" Mulgrew - Until he shows is face again, he can't be taken seriously
10) Doug " Tin Darts" Wooten


Executioner

 

[Screw You Captain]

training regimes

A good work out tonight for the Executioner; 9 matches of 501 followed with 20 minutes of a "Dr. Ho" massage on the shoulder.

I can't say I'm disappointed with my third place ranking, and I can't say I'm not interested in your training methods.

I can, probably, speak for many of us, when I point out that what you and Dr. Ho do after practice is your business.

backtovisualisingtrebletwentiesIgo

 

[Home Brew]

instead of soccer practice

with the closure of minoru park tonight, ball and chain mulgrew and the sidewinder decided to make use of their evening by holding a sanctioned match at o-hares. the night started well for sidewinder when he won a coors lite t shirt by landing 2 arrows in the small 1 area. it fits! extra large! b and c hain never faltered after that and wo 4 straight games of 501! back to the garage! mulgrew has to jump over sidewinder in the rankings .next up the executioner tomorrow at 8 bells.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

This result might explain 'BallandChain's recent absences. He has been in hiding training in pubs around Vancouver, in order to avoid locally ranked players. As for tomorrow, I will be bring my belt along, for the others to admire. The new rankings will be out Sunday evening, like the AP Top 25 Basketball rankings. These rankings are just as important.......

On a side note, it is good to see Reccos putting a good word in for Vince "Total Package" Naidu. Obviously, Dartmania is catching on around the TTP circuit.....

It may be misplaced for some kids, but the total package is what kids remember long after graduation from high school

Well said, Reccos, but I think they would remember champions, not contenders/pretenders.......

The Executioner

BTW, did you play any matches Double One?

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Recent photos......

Here are some recent photos of the local dart circuit......

The first one shows the Executioner playing it up for his loyal fans.........If you look closely, you will see Sidewinder Arnold scouting his competition.......

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Here is a picture of "Scud Missile" Sweeney after another loss to the Executioner.....

 

[Captain Shamrock]

And finally......

The championship form of The Executioner Burns. Note the concentration.......

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Sorry, there is one more......

Here is a photo of Double In Hleucka after he beat his father-in-law for the 15th time.........

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Ooops, here it is.....

Double In

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Potential changes in the rankings......

A very entertaining night of darts at The Buc and Ear. It was an extravaganza with 6 of the top ten ranked players participating. The Executioner finally lost a match in 2002. To be fair, Jimmy "The Hurricane" Mulgrew steam-rolled the opposition. He beat Double One Arnold 2 - 0. He then stepped up and thumped the Total Package, working his way up to the Executioner, who was not in form, during exhibition doubles' matches......Despite the Executioner throwing 2 100's in the first match, the Hurricane had a very quick finish(as he is known to do)and went up 1 - 0. The second match was another ding-dong affair, with the Executioner requiring 38 and Hurricane requiring 34. Hurricane finished with his shot, after the Executioner had 2 chances. A good match nonetheless. It was evident by the look in the Hurricane's eyes that he was all business tonight. It was also obvious that he has been making a lot of trips to other pubs. As for the rest of the matches......

The Executioner got revenge for the exhibition loss to Sidewinder by winning 2 - 0. The Executioner followed this win with a 2 - 1 victory over the Total Package, despite losing the first leg.

I believe "Scud Missile" Sweeney blew a 200 point lead to drop one leg to the Total Package. Double One lost to Scud Missile 1 - 0 also.

There were plenty of doubles games but the partners were changed frequently, so there is no doubles winner at this point. The rankings will be interesting come Sunday night. If Hurricane is willing to take on the Executioner one more time this week, he would take over the number one ranking IF he wins. For now, he will probably be ranked #2, ahead of the Total Package. Look for Sidewinder Arnold to drop and Double One to hold his position. Scud Missile Sweeney will likely drop a notch........

Overall, a very entertaining night and the nachos were very good.


The Executioner

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I forgot to mention Double One's Lawn Darts, I mean arrows. It was quite remarkable how three of them fit on the board, let alone a triple 20. This man has potential, if he decides to use the appropriate darts, and we're not talking outdoors......

I came across this. I can see this going somewhere......


LAZYMAN EVENTS

Nine holes Golf

18 holes of Putt Putt Golf

Bocci Ball

Darts

Bowling

Lawn Darts

Horse Shoes


A bunch of guys do this annually and determine an overall winner. Just think. Double One could use the same set of darts for 2 sports.....

Here is a photo of Double One's arrows taken with a digital camera tonight at the Buc and Ear. You can see why he struggled slightly......Of course, I am referring to the darts on the right.....

 

[Home Brew]

My elephant tranquilizers...

The Captain's comments regarding my 18th century elephant tranquilizers are quite upsetting. The history of these 'darts' goes back to ancient Africa, where they were carved by a legendary medicine man out of ivory and nickel, and touched up with the feathers of the now distinct do-do bird. They were once owned by the King of ZuLu Land, where they were regarded as a crown jewel. They won many African 'Big Game Titles', and could take down anything from a sparrow to a raging rhino. My family came into possession of these things during the Boer War, and has adapted them into regular dart match play. My play last night was not indicative of either the darts, or any future play.

Sidewinder tells me he has a dart to beat all darts, but can only use it at a private function as he would probably be arrested if he attempted to bring it into a public ale house.

Anyways, it was good fun last night.

Cheers, Drew

 

[Home Brew]

Here is a statue commemorating the great Zulu warrior, Mustaffa "Double One" Arnoldia, the true master dartsman. Here he is shown raising his darts in triumph, claiming another victory over the talent-lacking Muhammed "the Executioner" Burns and Vuai "Total-Package" Naidu. A very proud part of my heritage indeed

 

[Dude]

Double In Hleucka

Looks more like Doogie Houser.

 

[knvb]

118

With a IQ of 118 I highly doubt it.....


oopswasthatoutloud?