International and Local Darts Championships

[Captain Shamrock]

Reel em' in boys.........

Never said I was a good keeper but it shows the class you have buddy

Zenga,

Before you go 'widen your horizons'(I believe 'broaden' would have been more appropriate, but who cares?), I want you to know that I have never seen you play in net. You see, this site is called Takethepiss and quite honestly, my Italian friend, you are prime bait. Make sure you lighten up a little when you go overseas because chicks don't like guys who are uptight and guys who only like Italian soccer players. Remember to mention George Best. He was a ladies' man. Have I told you that he dated no less than TWO Miss World's?

Anyway, go broaden your horizons and let us know how your darts game is coming along. Darts is a universal sport. Ask the local bartender for a set of house darts and play until you're content. Chicks dig good dart players. I am not at that level yet, so I can't speak from first hand experience. However, I did notice the waitress staring at me today when I was the only person playing darts(a quick 30 minute practice) and wasn't eating or drinking.

So have fun in the sun, Zenga, and I am sure you will be able to add "Wanker of the Month" to your long list of accomplishments. Cheers, and lighten up a bit. Forza Zenga.


Captain

Remember one thing, Zenga. Chicks dig guys who can shoot their arrows straight.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

The excitement builds.....

Here are the results and write-ups from today's quarter final matches.....

DEJA VU FOR PART


Nine times world champion Phil 'The Power' Taylor once again handed out a whitewash defeat to Canadian John Part, charging on to the semifinals with a 6-0 win.
It was like Groundhog Day for John Part, who just as he did last year in the final and six months ago in Blackpool, hit a brick wall when he took to the stage against Taylor.

Part was confident in the build up to this match, that on the back of his brilliant performance against Steve Beaton in round two, he could give Taylor a serious challenge today.

It was not to be and although he didn't play bad darts he failed to take the few chances that The Power handed him.


ONE DART HITS THE MARK


Peter 'One Dart' Manley progressed through to the semifinal of the Skol World Championships with a impressive 6-2 win over Ronnie Baxter.
Billed beforehand as 'the fastest match in history' due to the rapid fire style of these two men, this match was played at breakneck pace.

Both Baxter and Manley have been in brilliant form this week and they retained their standards throughout this match.

Manley narrowly missed a 141 out in the first leg and his brave miss was punished by Baxter who against the throw, took out 112.

It was a crucial break and handed Baxter the opening set.

Just as had happened in the Askew/Priestley match, both players matched each other for quality and finishing in the opening four sets and by the time they were completed it was two all.

With very little between them in terms of averages with Manley on 92% and Baxter on 91%, it came down to Manley's high scoring on the trebles and his spot on doubles.


SEMIS AGAIN FOR ASKEW


'Diamond' Dave Askew made his way through to the semifinal of the Skol World Championships with a 6 sets to 2 victory over a determined Dennis 'The Menace' Priestley.
The match began in cat and mouse fashion, Priestley taking the first set 3-0 and Askew taking the second by the same margin.

Priestley came through a poor encounter with Rod Harrington in the second round last night and his performance today needed to be improved - it was.

His general scoring and finishing was much more in line with the Dennis Priestley the crowd know and love and he continued to drive at Diamond Dave to take the third set.

Askew struck back straightaway to square it at 2-2. He then stole the lead in sets for the first time, taking the fifth leg of the fifth set with a very impressive 181 in four darts.

The Menace then came under intense pressure from the Surrey darter.


JAWS HOLDS OFF DRAGON


Colin Lloyd reached his first PDC televised semifinal with a 6 sets to 4 win over Richie Burnett, overcoming an impressive comeback from the Welshman.
Lloyd has at last turned the form he shows on the road into quality darts on the big stage, going one better than the quarterfinal appearance he made over two years ago at the World Matchplay.

Both players made a relatively slow start. Missing doubles and notching up some low scores as they warmed to the match. It took seven darts for Lloyd to take the first set, after Burnett had watched nine shots go wide of the double.

From the second set onwards Lloyd found his range on the doubles, while Burnett did the opposite and allowed too much frustration to show in his play.

Jaws increased the pace and with a 108 out handed himself a 3-0 lead.

Burnett responded with six perfect darts and an eleven-dart leg yet it seemed that might be the highlight of the Welshman's match.

By the end of the fourth set Burnett looked ready to throw away his darts and was psychologically unable to lift his game.



I can relate to this last sentence. When I play Screw You, the Lurker Mulgrew, and/or Marco "the putz" Polo, they are psychologically done when I pull my darts out of the holder.


Captain

 

[knvb]

Good read'n

I could not find the TV schedule for any of these matches. Are any of them televised that you know of? If so do you know the who's, when's and where's?

JustgottoroutforDiamondDavebutIdontknowwhy

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I have no idea if and when any of the matches are on the tube. Personally, I would like to see Colin "Jaws" Lloyd win. As long as "The Power" doesn't win. He has won 9 in a row.........


Captain

 

[Screw You Captain]

darts and holsters

When I play Screw You, the Lurker Mulgrew, and/or Marco "the putz" Polo, they are psychologically done when I pull my darts out of the holder.

Captain,

I believe there are few TTPs who wouldn't be psychologically done watching you take your dart out of the holder.

Glad to see your holidays have been productive; get geared up for basketball season.

Cheers

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Stephen "The Executioner" Burns 5

Vince "Mr. X" Naihdu 1


Another stroll in the park for The Executioner. Actually, it was anything but that. Each game was close, mainly because we were playing some awful darts. The turning point was in the second leg, when Mr. X, after winning the first match, decided to drop a tomato from the Nachos into the Executioner's coke. This turned the tide in the Executioner's favor and it was all downhill for Mr. X. There was very little flow to the matches and we had to erase the board on several occasions because there was no room left for us to continue the score from 501. That is not a good thing.


The Executioner

 

[zenga]

My man

My job is to put on darts tounaments i cant play worth shite but its what i do. Buddy Ive been all over Europe and probably screwed your cousin in Ireland, or was it your sister?

Not sure?

 

[MARCOPOLO]

Jenga or whatever your name is,

Isn't that a game played with wooden blocks, much like the thing rattling around in your head.

. I have decided to travel and actually live in other countries to widen my horizon and see other countries and cultures. As for darts WHO GIVES A FCUK.

I really don't think it can be called a decision when Immigration Canada comes to your door with a deportation notice. As for the darts, obviously you don't have an appreciation for the game, but I guess that can we you can't count past 7.

Have a great day.

Marco Polo

 

[SC]

please refer to page for in...

in the most Irritating for January nomies. I believe you may agree with me Marco.

As for sticking with the topic, let the boys have their fun. Go start your own thread Zenga, then you will see the attention you deserve...probably none!

+SCmoderator!

 

[knvb]

Skol Final set

Jaws is out and Powers look set to take 10 on the trot. The Match is sometime today and Im off to my parents to see if it's on the dish.

Loyd vs Manley

Two years after he lost 6-2 to Phil Taylor at the Circus Tavern, Peter Manley will return to the Final oche of the Skol World Championships after a 6-4 win over Colin Lloyd which was one of the matches of the competition.

Manley said earlier this week he had booked his accommodation right through until Saturday and his confidence was vindicated tonight.

Not of course, before he had been pushed all the way by one of the players of the tournament Colin 'Jaws' Lloyd.
Just like the Manley/Baxter match from last night, this was an encounter played at a searing pace.

The first set went with the darts until the deciding leg, when Manley took advantage of a missed 100 from Lloyd to win it.
Lloyd responded with a blinding set, including three maximums and some confident checkouts with Manley pressuring.

The third set was full of superb darts. They hit three ton-eighties between them, Manley took the fourth leg with eleven darts and a 111 out, only to be pipped to the set by Lloyd whose brave 51 clinched it.

One Dart was soon back on level terms, his finishing having lost none of its shine in the last twenty-four hours.
It was a mesmerizing tussle with neither man able to break away from the other.

Lloyd took the fifth set with yet more exceptional arrows. A 134 out in the first leg, a 105 in the third and a 91 out in the fourth, saw him re-establish his lead.
It didn't last long as Manley returned the compliment to make it three sets all.

Lloyd went off the boil somewhat in his match against Ritchie Burnett having established a five set lead. For a minute it seemed he may do again after Manley took the sixth and seventh sets, the latter 3-0.

After his match against Burnett, Lloyd spoke of his new found battling spirit and it was in evidence again here tonight.

One Dart edged ahead in the eighth and had darts for the set at 2 legs to 1, but when the Cumbrian's doubles went astray Jaws stepped in with an essential 96 and proceeded to claim the set to draw the match level at 4-4.

They continued, in the words of Sid Waddell to 'tussle with the tungsten' in the ninth set and this time it was Manley who came out on top to go one set away from the match.

Lloyd marched into the tenth set as if to push the match to a deciding eleventh. He went two legs ahead, but suffered a poor leg in the third to let Manley in. That was all the encouragement

One Dart needed and he won three legs on the bounce to book his place in the final.

An excellent match, well worthy of a semifinal and a worthy winner in the shape of Peter Manley.
Scoring Sequence:

Colin Lloyd 4 Peter Manley 6



2-3, 3-1, 3-2, 1-3, 3-1, 1-3, 0-3, 3-2, 1-3, 2-3

 

[knvb]

Stupid Idiot

With further reaserch it would seem I missed it. 7- nill it would seem Peter 'One Dart' Manley decided only to throw ONE Dart. Oh well theres always next year.

Phil Taylor got his dream of ten world titles with an extraordinary 7-0 victory over Peter 'One Dart' Manley.

Peter was simply overawed by Taylor at the Circus Tavern tonight, as The Power claimed his tenth world title in straight sets.

One Dart again took his place in the ever-increasing line of men who have crumbled in the presence of the greatest darts player the world has ever seen.

Manley began the match hoping to win the battle of the mind games.

Taylor customarily gives away the throwing advantage to his opponent if he wins the bull pre-match. Tonight it was Manley who won the darts but he handed over to The Power, hoping a touch of reverse psychology would knock Taylor off his stride.

No such luck.

Taylor reveled in the opportunity, took his out shots in the first set winning it 3-0 and the familiar pattern began.

Taylor's average was quickly up in the hundreds, his checkout average an stunning 40% and upwards. An absolute joy to watch.

Like Part and Askew before him, Manley had chances early doors to at least keep himself in the match but he could not hit the doubles.

He missed eight darts in the second set at crucial doubles on his own throw and Taylor took gleeful advantage.

High checkouts in the third and fourth set followed, as well as few twelve and thirteen dart legs. Every double he needed he hit and Manley could do nothing but watch.

A four-nil lead became a five-nil lead. Five-nil became six-nil and six became seven...and seven made it ten world titles.

There was no contest because you simply can't compete with a man who plays his sport with such extraordinary skill, composure and utter dominance.

The end of the match was marred somewhat by the fact that Manley walked from the stage the moment the winning dart was thrown, refusing it seemed to shake Taylor's hand.

He did reappear before the presentation but to boos from the crowd. Afterwards he said the call of nature had forced him to beat a hasty retreat, but as Taylor commented it takes a second to hold out your hand in sportsmanlike fashion.

So ten it is and although the televised nine dart finish has once again eluded him, the phenomenon that is Phil 'The Power' Taylor goes on.

Scoring Sequence:

Phil Taylor 7 Peter Manley 0
3-0, 3-1, 3-0, 3-1, 3-1, 3-0, 3-2

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Double in

KNVB,

I was watching the darts match that you mentioned the other day between the lanky Dutch man Scholter(?) and they were playing with a double in rule. However, when I was listening to the darts the other day, it was never mentioned. They just kept scoring right off the first throw. I doubt very much that they went through every match without one of the players failing to score a double on the first 3 darts. I am guessing the rules may change from tournament to tournament? Maybe Zenga, the cnut, could help us out on this one?

Zenga,

In between massaging guys' bollocks and thighs, could you check this out for me? Thanks.

Captain

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Local Rankings

The local rankings have just been released and here they are hot off the press.....


1. Stephen "The Executioner" Burns 5 - 0
2. Vince "The Total Package" Naihdu 0 - 5
3. Brian "Cheese Puff " Sweeney 0 - 2
4. Doug "Darts of Tin" Wooten 0 - 0
5. Jimmy "The Lurker" Mulgrew 0 - 1
6. Tim "Triple One" Arnold (Currently playing darts in the garage)
7. Drew "The Pretender" Arnold (Also, playing darts in garage)
8. Dave "Buffalo" Arnold (Also, playing darts in the garage)
9. John "Nineteen" McDonald

It should make for an interesting 2002.

The Executioner

 

[MARCOPOLO]

Rankings

Captain,

I have a question regarding the local rankings. Are they the put together by the AP or are they under the new DCS "Dart Championship Series". According to the DCS "The Total Package" should be ranked #1, which I'm sure will cause some debate...

Have a great day.
Marco Polo

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Every poll has "The Executioner" as the champion. Nice effort though. I will have to prove it again tonight at the dart board I don't really like; O'Hare's North Board

Captain

 

[MARCOPOLO]

Captain,

The only place that you're #1 on poll is when you're dancing on one at the Marble Arch. As for boards, north, south, east, or west it doesn't matter, just bring it... The darts that is!

Marco

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I am not sure how I feel right now.


In local sanctioned and unsanctioned darts play tonight at O'Hare's in Richmond:

Vince "The Total Package" Naidu 2
Dave "Buffalo" Arnold 0

These were 301 matches but were considered sanctioned because the winner had to play The Executioner. Unfortunately, for "The Total Package", he won.

"The Executioner" 2
"Total Package" 0

It was an absolute clinic with precision darts all through the match. Naidu had 219 left in the first match followed by 117 the second match.


"Buffalo" Arnold then played "The Executioner". I asked him if he wanted a sanctioned best of three match and he declined. However, he wanted to play an "exhibiton" match.

Result of the unsanctioned exhibition match:

"Buffalo" Arnold 1
"The Executioner" 0

I managed to blow a 220 point lead. However, the game was under protest because "Buffalo" played the whole match with his foot over the line. If it was sanctioned, I would have brought it to his attention, but I didn't because I am a good sport. Hopefully, next time we can play a real match so I can get mentally and physically prepared.


New Rankings:

Everything is the same except "Buffalo" Arnold moves ahead of his sons because of his appearance tonight. Also, Naidu drops a spot because of the walloping he took at the hands of The Executioner.


The Executioner

 

[knvb]

Q-School

The question I have is how does one get ranked? I've been ripping it up on the In-laws house circuit for sometime now. I want to know how one gets a shot at the big time? What could beat fresh draft on tap, air conditioning, beautiful girls serving you hot wings and nachos while you play. Not like the In-Law league where you get warm can beer, 6 year old Christmas candy, house temp is set at 30c Mother in- law wanting to stop the game to show you pictures of the Mrs. in the tub with her sister. (actually that part I like) Someone tell me when does Q-school start?


Dave' double in' Hleucka

 

[Captain Shamrock]

"Double in",

As a hardcord darts champion, I have to put my belt on the line 24/7. If you're in Richmond sometime soon, a match can be arranged. You may have to beat some of the putzes like Mr. X, I mean "Total Package" to get a shot at the belt BUT at least you would enhance your chance of being a ranked player. There are many privileges that go with this, I'm sure. I haven't found any yet but I am confident something will come my way soon......

The Executioner

P.S. - If you play some 'underground darts', in Buffalo Arnold's garage and beat either 3 Arnolds, you will certainly vault up the rankings.

 

[knvb]

Daily Dart

Discovered!

Local dart champ "Double in" Hleucka has finally been recognized by the World Richmond Dart League or "The Show" to it's members. It would seem long time Champ and certain Hall of fame candidate Stephen 'The Executioner' Burns noticed the young up start toiling around on the local In-Law circuit, noticed the talent and decided to give him a shot at his Hard Core Title " It's Just like Rocky" said the over joyed Hleucka when asked about the match up. When asked how he will treat this recent turn of events Hleucka could only wipe the tears from his eye and say " I'm just to overwhelmed to speak right now"

The Executioner could not be reached for comment, but we can only believe the title shot was given out of pure boredom. Burns has been on top so long this will serve as a much needed wake up call to "The Show" and it's members.

A firm date has yet to be set for the match