Who the fcuk is George Best???

[Fastshow]

you should study law...

So all those who have heard of George Best are, in your oddly sheltered world, pretentious Brits? Good argument.

Thanks for the heart-warming tale from your childhood, though. That brought a tear to the old eye.

As you were.

 

[Dude]

Take a pill

Basketball is a silly girl's sport played by freaks of nature and cleverly marketed to appeal to a select market demographic, i.e. losers. I went to one grizzlies game, and that was enough for me

Absoluty agree. No argument here.

Fastshow, the story was merely to prove a point. That's just kind of the way it worked. You'd be surprised to find out how many closet non-football fan soccer players are out there. I am here to say: CLOSET NON-FOOTBALL FAN SOCCER PLAYERS UNITE! WE NO LONGER HAVE TO HOLD OUR HEADS IN SHAME! BE PROUD OF YOUR IGNORANCE OF THE INTERNATIONAL SOCCER WORLD! BE STRONG IN REBELLING AGAINST THE FASTSHOWS OF THE WORLD!

Also, obviously the pretentious Brit slag was directed solely at you. If you can't figure that out, you aren't nearly as bright as you'd have us fellow TTPers beleive. If you actually deny that you ARE a pretentious Brit, I'll take the slag back.

Could it also be that a lot of this was written to also push your buttons? Think about it. Mention ANYTHING pro-American, and you can always expect a reply from Fastshow.

Carry on.

 

[Fastshow]

now you're just being boring...

And you were doing so well. As soon as people start explaining their pisstaking, valuable credibility points go down the jacksie. Let me elucidate; I wouldn't be surprised at how many footballers in Vancouver, Canada or even the USofA haven't heard of George Best. I really wouldn't. Happy? Read betwixt them lines.

Pretentious? Moi?

As far as pushing my buttons goes; nice back-peddling, mind you don't trip over your laces in your haste. I think it would be fair to say that I'm more predictable than pretentious wouldn't it? Maybe that's what you meant to write. You might wish to add patronising as well. I happen not to like yanks, in general. If it makes you feel better I dislike Germans and the French, generally, as well. But, then again, people like you aren't quite as preoccupied with Germans and French as you are with yanks.

Let me know if you'd like me to explain any of this pisstake.


Again, as you were.

 

[Dude]

Are you calling me Keeper?

Predictable Fastshow. You always revert back to the “You’re boring” reply. Ironic, seeing as how if I was really boring your pretentious ass, you wouldn’t bother replying.

Fastshow…easier to play than a drum.

My laces are tied, nice and tight.

Dude.

 

[Guinness]

How did the Dutchmen get off the hook???

That bastage Knvb had something to do with it didn't he??? I knew he was working for the UN posing as a Daft Dutch Dartman!!!
BTW, Dude a wee word of advise if I may; never eat the yellow snow (the poodle could have been French)


GuinnessknowingBestyistheBest!!!

 

[guru]

Re: Dude, where's Guru's Passport

Originally posted by handcannon
Here's a tricky one for you:

I was born on a Qantas Airlines flight, stopping over in Hawaii. My mother was an Italian pornstar, and I was conceived during a particularily tricky scene involving a german midget, two dutchmen, a one-legged spanish lesbien and a french poodle.

What does that make me?

I'll tell you....FCUKING UGLY. So, obviously, I must be mostly Italian. At least that would explain the hairy back and predisposition to buggery.

1st: If you are on a Qantas flight, you are leaving Australia, or on a return flight to Australia. Since Your mother is Italian, I will assume she was on a "business" trip, and returning home.
2nd: The stopover in Hawaii would be your first point of origin, making you American.
3rd: Since niether the poodle nor the the lesbian have the ability to impregnate your mother, I will rule them out; and since there were two Dutchmen and only one German, you would have a 2/3 chance of being Dutch, since it takes only one sperm, ~~~~ you could not have the characteristics of all of the above. Therefore, while you may be ugly, it has little berring on your scenario. Oh, you are not 'mostly' Italian, as I said, you are American.

Originally posted by handcannon

Now if I may have the attention of the Fisher Price "My First Debating Society" club members, I just have a few comments to add:

(1). Move out of your parents' basements and see the world. Spending three pages worth of postings on when and how one is a Canadian citizen is really just plain pathetic. I'd also like to complain about some poster's despicable bastardization of the English language in written form. Ever heard of spellcheck, you illiterate sods. Don't make me get out my red pen.

People who use spell check are anal!!

Originally posted by handcannon

(2). Perhaps I can provide some elucidation unto this George Best vs. Wayne Gretzky worldwide recognition codswallop which is taking over all our lives. I recall a similar argument years ago between my good friend fasthow and a particularily annoying American girl, and I believe he put things in perspective by simply stating that Soccer/Football is played in almost every country in the world, and thus is by far globally more popular than Ice Hockey, which is, in my esteemed opinion, an excellent sport, don't get me wrong.

Soccer is bigger than Baseball or American Football or Blacketball or any other daft American sport, so it stands to reason that if most of the world follows soccer, then it is quite likely that a George Best would be better known that a Wayne Gretzky, by and large. It's simple fckuing arithmetic, chums.

For someone who chastizes others for wasting 3 pages on this topic, (And by the way, you posted on page 6, so am I to assume you can't add...or were 3 pages not "pathetic"?) you sure ramble on...not to mention, probably reading all of the posts.
By the way, Basketball got it's start in CANADA Moron...not the U.S.!!!!

Originally posted by handcannon

BTW, I'm not really Italian. I just take the piss out of them. Regs, can I have a Cross of Saint George flag next to my name please. I'm feeling left out.

No, yor tooooo stooopid!!!!

PS: I don't have a passport...I have no ambition to leave the lower mainland...this area is the most beatiful place in the World...We live in Gods Country!!! Look around you!!

 

[handcannon]

Guru Nanak Sikh Temple

Oh, Guru you ignorant slut.

Where oh where do I begin? First off, let me congratulate you on your staggering powers of reason and deduction in explaining to me the pathology of my national birthright. Fantastic.

Secondly, your accusation that my math skills are not up to par is based on the false assumption that I have my screen-size and text-size display settings set up exactly like you.

On my system, only 3 pages (now 4) of this crap exist. Your system is obviously setup to display the text differently. You probably have it on large lettering so that it is easier for you to follow.

As far as people using spell-check being anal, my mother was very anal, which is why she chose her particular vocation in the first place.

And finally, ****-smudge, if you are going to try and take the high and mighty logical and factual approach with me, then get them facts correct sunshine. Basketball was invented by a Canadian, yes, but not in Canada. He was teaching at a US university:

Canadian James Naismith was born in Almonte, Ontario, and was a graduate of McGill university and the Presbyterian Theological College. In 1891 one of the various courses assigned him teaching at the International Young Men’s Christian Training College in Springfield, Massachusetts, was physical education.

Happy numb-nuts. so, you see, it is American, as American today as Apple pie, obesity, and having it off with your sister. And it's a stupid sport.

You don't have a passport? Check his papers...

 

[guru]

the handcannon knows his b-ball

You sure know a lot aboot a sport you hate!!!

I stand corrected, it was invented by a Canadian. Did you spend all day looking up these facts just to try and make me look bad...you are anal. So tell me more aboot this :
("...Canadian James Naismith was born in Almonte, Ontario, and was a graduate of McGill university and the Presbyterian Theological College. In 1891 one of the various courses assigned him teaching at the International Young Men’s Christian Training College in Springfield, Massachusetts, was physical education....")

This cut and paste from the, "James Naismith" website facinates me!! What aboot the inception of "American" football. being that it was started in Canada by a Brit (?) please enlighten me, so you can show the TTP world how you utilize the MSN search engine oh wise handjob... ooops handcannon. I am still keen to hear your retort to my annalogy of your origin...after all, this is a "Georgie Porgie" and or nationality/origin thread, and as our moderator insists he will delete all non related material, you should stick to that, not basketball and it's roots.

I think Apple pie got it's origin in Germany....as a strudel....the americns lay claim to everything...fcukin' Edison was one of the biggest patent thieves ever.

so, are you saying I'm a slut who is ignorant; or that I am both a slut, and ignorant....'cause I don't like being called ignorant.

Please reply as I know how much this 3 now 4 (or so depending on how large your typeset is, as you know I NEED LARGE PRINT, 'cuz I'm an old Guru) irks you and how this stoooopid thread is not worthy of any responses!

 

[Guinness]

George Best

Fasty, he's Welsh??? Are you sure he's not American???

 

[Sage]

Guru (vs) Handjob

keep it up boys, this is some of the best shite I've seen in a while I'm on the edge of my seat........what's Guru gonna say next? Is Handcannon's mom really a porn star? Is the poodle french?
Very exciting stuff



Sagelovesthebanter

 

[Rangerforever]

For once I agree with Sageypoo.

Still picking myself up after the Gretzky/Besty collage.

What about that Fasty-Dude undercard also?

Brilliant boys.

 

[handcannon]

Guru needs a tissue

Guru:
QUOTE]I stand corrected, it was invented by a Canadian. Did you spend all day looking up these facts just to try and make me look bad...This cut and paste from the, "James Naismith" website facinates me...please enlighten me, so you can show the TTP world how you utilize the MSN search engine [/QUOTE]

All day, hardly. Two words in google, a click a cut and a paste, and you have egg on your face. Don't fault me for your lack of thoroughness.

Guru:

...you are anal... I am still keen to hear your retort to my annalogy of your origin

First off, what the fcuk is an annalogy. Second I hate people that use the word retort, and third of all, you seem to have an awful tendency towards the word "anal". I think that single-handedly proves my earlier point that Italians have a pre-disposition for buggery.

Guru:

PS: I don't have a passport...I have no ambition to leave the lower mainland...this area is the most beatiful place in the World...We live in Gods Country!!! Look around you!!

Guru:

so, are you saying I'm a slut who is ignorant; or that I am both a slut, and ignorant....'cause I don't like being called ignorant.

You've no ambition to leave the lower mainland of Vancouver, yet you hate being called ignorant? What? Have you left the trailer-park? Fcuk buddy, expand your horizons a little, you sad little man.

Well I suppose diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. If sitting in your tree house in Surrey in front of the computer letting yourself get the pissed ripped from of your urethra leaves you as happy as homo in a submarine, then by all means "retort". I'm ever so happy to oblige. It's not that I hate these threads or find them boring at all, I only find you boring. But I digress...

 

[Dude]

Just read handcannon's signature: still picking myself off the floor.



Classic!

Completely off topic (what is the topic?),

Dude.

 

[handcannon]

no wonder

no wonder Jordan is so well-known around the world. With sexy, diffused 70's porn-glow pictures like this floating around, who wouldn't want to know MJ.

Sassy.

 

[Dude]

I know I'm horny.

Speaking for TheRob,

Dude.

 

[Sage]

copyright infringment

Originally posted by Dude-where'smycar?
Just read handcannon's signature: still picking myself off the floor.




Dude.

yeah, Handjob's signature is funny....... too bad he stole it from some comic on TV. I saw the same little bit, names and all, on one of those stand-up specials. For a guy who's showing off his "superior intellect" , he sure seems to "copy and paste" a lot.

Just wanted to point that out........now on with the banter


Sagehatesthecopycats

 

[handcannon]

copybloodyright

For a guy whith a handle "sage", it's a bit fresh accusing me of showing off my superior intellect. When, and where did I ever insinuate my intellect was superior. On the contrary, I'm an idiot, and would be the first to admit it.

As far as signatures, no where did it say in the TTP rulebook that they had to be original. I'd venture to guess that most people's signatures are copied from somewhere. You're too bloody right I copied it, cause it's funny as fcuk. And really, isn't that what we are all striving for in this crazy post September 11th world we live in; just a little laughter now and then.

Tear.

But you have to go and spoil my moment in the sun, you big mean bastard.

Can't we all just get along?

 

[Regs]

Copycats have there place... apparently

Sage,

I really like your signature with it's webster-like format. You wouldn't mind if I did something similiar would you?

~TotalmootBastard.

 

[guru]

Re: Guru needs a tissue

Originally posted by handcannon
Guru:
QUOTE]I stand corrected, it was invented by a Canadian. Did you spend all day looking up these facts just to try and make me look bad...This cut and paste from the, "James Naismith" website facinates me...please enlighten me, so you can show the TTP world how you utilize the MSN search engine

All day, hardly. Two words in google, a click a cut and a paste, and you have egg on your face. Don't fault me for your lack of thoroughness.

tee hee hee....You just fcuked up this cut and paste while taking the piss on me for my lack of thoroughness....tee hee hee
Egg on my face eh penis nose, Basketball was invented by a Canadian, therefore I deem it a Canadian game. I don't give a flying fcuk where he invented it. He could have been in outer space, he is still Canadian, and therefore, as such, it is a Canadian's game. Let Mr. double day have his glory for the great American past time. Basketball is Canadian!

Originally posted by handcannon
Guru:
quote:
...you are anal... I am still keen to hear your retort to my annalogy of your origin

First off, what the fcuk is an annalogy. Second I hate people that use the word retort, and third of all, you seem to have an awful tendency towards the word "anal". I think that single-handedly proves my earlier point that Italians have a pre-disposition for buggery.

I can see I don't use the word "anal" enough in describing you. So let me re-retort. My finger taps the 'n' twice in analogy, and you go into a tizzy and can't figure out what it means. You must have a real dificult time with the way Americans spell. (color...colour etc.) I'll let you in on something...they mean the same thing, I know it's confusing, but with some therapy you'll get over it I'm sure. And like I said before as well...I am Canadian...not Italian...and I think you mean the Greeks with your insinuation of buggery...Italians have the most beautiful women in the world, and are well known for thier womanizing...it's the Brits who are into the sheep shagging...Ahhhh the heatherrrr.

Originally posted by handcannon
Guru:
quote:
PS: I don't have a passport...I have no ambition to leave the lower mainland...this area is the most beatiful place in the World...We live in Gods Country!!! Look around you!!


You've no ambition to leave the lower mainland of Vancouver, yet you hate being called ignorant? What? Have you left the trailer-park? Fcuk buddy, expand your horizons a little, you sad little man.

What the f%$& has ignorant got to do with not wanting to leave the lower mainland.
I have traveled enough to know that British Columbia is by far the most beautiful place in the world. I did not come to that conclusion without visiting other countries. The grass is NOT greener anywhere else.
How did you know I live in Slurry in a TP.

Originally posted by handcannon

Well I suppose diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. If sitting in your tree house in Surrey in front of the computer letting yourself get the pissed ripped from of your urethra leaves you as happy as homo in a submarine, then by all means "retort". I'm ever so happy to oblige. It's not that I hate these threads or find them boring at all, I only find you boring. But I digress...

Tee hee , you spelled different wrong. (twice)
Urethra...hmmmm wasn't she a singer....ya that's right Urethra Franklin...I likes her, she got nice lungs.
Whew, that's one long run on sentence...so spelling is important, but puntuation and grammar is not...I'm on the trolley now.
You dislike people who use the word retort, yet you are "happy to oblige". You make my head hurt.
I did not say you found them boring, I quoted you as saying they are "pathetic". So why do you keep respon....nay, retorting?
I see....I am so boring that you can't let this drop...so boring you feel you must respond over and over. And the term is ... "yet I digress...and you used it out of content...because there was no digression here, it was all within the same framework of discussion. Yet I digress....see how that works!

 

[handcannon]

Yawn!

Where oh where do I start.

Does anyone lese not feel the need to take a crack at chum-bum here. Surely, the comment about "italians having the most beautiful women in the world and italians are known for their womanizing" is a freebee so charitably lobbed up into the air, that someone else would feel the need to smash it into the net!

Ah, too bad Fastshow is tucked under his covers at this hour.

Have you seen an Italian woman after 40? The Gillette Mach 3 was originally test-marketed on Italian pensioners for Christs sake. And womanizing?

If you mean ogling women as they pass by your construction site or dropping Rohypnol into their drinks at The Ozone in surrey as womanizing, it's all yours.

But one point really confuses me:

: I have traveled enough to know that British Columbia is by far the most beautiful place in the world. I did not come to that conclusion without visiting other countries.

Yet you don't have a passport. Hmmm.

HC 4 Guru 0