Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings 2006-2007

[dickens_cider]

Sir M : Apologies to all of you SMEPR fans out there, I thought it was all arranged that a certain staff member was to post last week's rankings

I heard that the certain Staff member you were counting on has taken on a new job since your travels started and has been very pre occupied. I believe he did get some rough notes and scouting results back from an outside company that he had hired to do the work for him in his absence.

 

[JAGS]

Apologies to all of you SMEPR fans out there, I thought it was all arranged that a certain staff member was to post last week's rankings but he was too busy scoring again.

Sir M ........... my apologies as well. I did not get a new job, and was not preoccupied with other things. Just too busy trying to hunt down WVFC players so we would have enough bodies during your absence. It pretty much is a full time job trying to get a reply from some folks. I guess I'm under some misconception that you become more responsible when you are over the age of 35. Dickens is a fine example of that.

JAGS

 

[Sir M]

Sir M : Apologies to all of you SMEPR fans out there, I thought it was all arranged that a certain staff member was to post last week's rankings

I heard that the certain Staff member you were counting on has taken on a new job since your travels started and has been very pre occupied. I believe he did get some rough notes and scouting results back from an outside company that he had hired to do the work for him in his absence.

Listen bear cubs, I was not referring to either of you. The staff member I was referring to I believe has a job already...

He picks up empties at Griffin.

BTW anyone heard from SCDMTC Blonde lately?

 

[Dude]

SirM,

Have you and $$$man considered a merging of resources?

 

[trece verde]

Sir M:

I heard that the guy who usually picks up the empties at Griffin was mugged by a couple of elderly Asian ladies who were cheesed that he was interfering with their mortgage helpers... As a result, I believe that the hand he uses for plucking cans (the same one that contains the two fingers he uses to type with) has been injured.

Just passing along what I have heard...

Trece

 

[colemanj]

You can't expect too much from some people, it was St Patrick's day, after all. Security might have been a bit rough on him at the hockey game too, but you can't sneak empties in -- you are just asking for trouble...

I did pick up some of his notes though, he had Wickham rated in the top ten!

What is this about Norvan in the Provincials -- Eddie VB does this mean no Squamish again... anyone know the schedule?

 

[Taxman]

If we get $$$man to move to the VMSL I think we should get all 16 provincial spots for putting up with him.

 

[Sir M]

Ok as we go into the final stretch before the BC Championships, the SMEPR Executive have freed up a few dollars to send some staff over to the Island. Their marching orders have been to rescue delinquent staff member Gordon Head, last reported lying on a logging road just northeast of Tofino painting an iceberg, and of course Barney from Comox, and figure out which VISL teams should be included in these rankings. The strategy has worked, and Head is off his diet of pemmican and cedar boughs, and spent Friday night pinting with Dickens at the Sticky Wicket, followed by the meat draw over in Sooke. But enough of that now, it is time for this week's edition of (VISL included):

Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:


1. Vancouver Firefighters. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 2). Defeated Wickham 3-1 on Sunday, a bye this week, and are scheduled to face WVFC in a cup semi, probably in two week's time.

2. Metro Ford Wolves. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 4). Their defeat of upstart Cliff Avenue in the Cup 1/4 final moves them into the Cup semi as well.

3. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week's rank: 3). Done in Cup play, have been shuffling many coins lately in many late night strategy sessions, staff advise. Anything short of a Provincial Championship will be unsatisfactory to this side.

4. West Van F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 2). Down two spots due to VFF and MF victories, await their match against the #1 SMPEPR side in 2 weeks time.

5. Sapperton Rovers. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 9). Two wins in a row means moving up 4 spots in these Rankings. Out of cup play though, and will probably meet Columbus for a chance to qualify for the BCs.

6. S.F.C. Rangers. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 6). No game this weekend, and the FVSL Champs are done until the BCs, and then watch out.

7. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 5). Drop another two after being put in danger of not qualifying for the BCs by Sapp's two wins on the weekend.

8. Westside F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 8). No game. Vacationing in Europe. Two games potentially this weekend to qualify for the Provincial Cup and of course the League Cup title.

9. UVIC Alumni (VISL. Last week's rank: not ranked). A very experienced and successful side, #1 presently in the VISL at 13-2-2.

10. Aldergrove United. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 11). A trophy and a spot in the BCs has staff sitting up and taking notice.

11. ICSF Inter. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 10). Done for the year, too bad.

12. Nanaimo United. (VISL. Last week's rank: not ranked). #2 in the VISL currently, with 35 points. In an excellent position to qualify for the BCs.

13. VicWest. (VISL. Last week's rank: not ranked). Staff advise that this side, one with a storied history in the Provincial Championships, can beat any team on any given day, and are good at sit-ups.

14. Nordic F.C. (NSCL. Last week's rank: 17). Up three spots after their PKs win over Norvan on Sunday to win the coveted Kilby Cup.

15. Richmond Utd. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 15). Down three after their loss to Metro Ford on Friday eve, but this team can still qualify for the BCs.

16. Peace Arch United. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 13). Drop after their Cup Final home loss to Aldergrove on Saturday.

17. Norvan F.C. (NSCL. Last week's rank: 18). Also drop after their Cup Final loss, which exposed a lack of depth, (much like the cause of a certain WV player's swimming neck injury), staff report, on Sunday.

18. Coveside F.C. (NCSL. Last week's rank: 16). Did not play, have qualified for the BCs though.

19. Vantreights (VISL. Last week's rank: not ranked). Cup finalists in the prestiguous Tony Grover (not to be confused with the Tony Pensato) Cup on the Island puts this storied VISL side into the Provincials. Special thanks to correspondent Barney from Comox for this late breaking update.

20. Cliff Avenue United. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 8). Will play Premier next year, but their loss to MF in Cup play on Friday drops them down to this rather cruel ranking.

And a new feature to this week's rankings: Honourable mention to the following two sides who still have a shot at the Provincials:

Westside Bulldogs (VMSL): Cup game against Westside A next, if they win that one and then beat Richmond, they are in.

Gorge (VISL): This side could also theoretically qualify for the BCs. But, Mrs. Sir M could also theoretically cook dinner this evening.

In any event, Happy Easter to all, and best of luck until next time.

 

[freddy]

20. Cliff Avenue United. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 8). Will play Premier next year, but their loss to MF in Cup play on Friday drops them down to this rather cruel ranking.



The SMEPR giveth and the SMEPR taketh.

 

[freddy]

Looking forward to seeing Cliff Ave next year. Sounds like the will be a competitive team.

 

[Scottyshell]

Sir M...still don't think we deserve #1 spot but thanks anyways....by the way...Sapp played Richmond Friday night...but thanks for giving us the credit...have a good easter everyone!

Cheers!

I guess everyone will be seeing pink bunnies after the right amount of pints...

 

[Sir M]

As usual, thank you for the input, these rankings have been accordingly corrected Scotty.

 

[biggs]

17. Nordic F.C. (NSCL. Last week's rank: 10). Too many poor performances at a critical time of the season drops this side. They need to sort this out.

.

3 week drinking binges will do this ..........back to full practices again

 

[The Vike]

How do these rankings work. Obviously not all Premier Teams on here correct????

 

[knvb]

It's a complicated mathematical formula created by Buddhist monks at the top of Mt. Lonsdale for the O35’s to muse at. It runs off a series of drum beats, rhythmic chants and grunts. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe Sir M does a certain amount of genital fondling as well.

 

[The Vike]

KNVB,
Thank you for the in depth description of how the Power Rankings work. For the power rankings to be as precise as they are genital fondling must take place.

 

[T-Idiot]

wrong site lads ....very wrong

 

[highlander]

ALL the rankings are passed through the chairman Frank Woods and Grant Darley for their most excellent Sweetwaters ranking system.
Highlanderformerlyasweetwaterspatron!

 

[5bigtoes]

It's a complicated mathematical formula created by Buddhist monks at the top of Mt. Lonsdale for the O35’s to muse at. It runs off a series of drum beats, rhythmic chants and grunts. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe Sir M does a certain amount of genital fondling as well.

knvb,
I am sure sirM is looking for other genital fondlers to add to members of his entourage...maybe you should apply because I've heard from good sources you can really handle your balls

 

[Sir M]

See the next post please.