Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings 2006-2007

[Sir M]

Ok, after a two week hiatus, and an extensive air/sea search and rescue mission for missing SMEPR staff member Planks, last seen braiding Randy’s hair on Long Beach, not to mention staff members Dickens and Milty, last seen taking it to Level 4 at the Sticky Wicket dancing to Haul ‘em Down You Zulu Warrior have, alas, proved fruitless. Sir M would like to apologise for the lack of VISL intelligence, but, frankly, these chorts are out of control. But enough of that, it now is time for this season’s final 20 team edition of:

Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:

1. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week's rank: 3). Back on top as after an in depth staff analysis of this side’s tactics, pedigree, and the fact that they haven’t played since the last time Mrs. Sir M put out, has staff convinced that this side is a team to be feared in the upcoming Provincial Cup. But staff is reporting having, cleverly disguised as methamphetamine addicts, infiltrated a SU/PAU friendly on Sunday... Regs?

2. Metro Ford Wolves. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 2). Their narrow defeat of West Side on Friday evening puts them into position for the treble: BBQ Ribs, Sausage and Chicken at Tony Roma’s (hold the cole slaw we have a game). League Cup final on Sunday against #3 West Van.

3. West Van F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 4). Up one after defeating Firefighters on Sunday, utilizing numerous players 25 years younger than Scotty or Taxman apparently. Cup final next, will be employing the revolutionary new don’t pass back to the goaltender strategy.

4. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 7). Up a big three after a do-or-die to make the BCs win over a (similar to Mrs. you know who) well stacked Sapperton side on Sunday. Awaiting the Provincial draw. [/SIZE]

5. Vancouver Firefighters. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 1). Fall after failing to hold their lead twice on Sunday. Now resting for a defense of their BC title. And they are tired and grumpy.

6. S.F.C. Rangers. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 6). No game this weekend, friendly against Aldergrove this week as a tune-up. The FVSL Champs are done until the BCs, and then watch out, as Barry Parno and 5BTs are in form at present, staff report.

7. Westside F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 8). Made a noble effort in the cup run, losing the semi on PKs to Metro Ford, without the services of their much capped Canadian international striker, who was on the patio at Shaughnessy enjoying a fag with Sir M on Friday eve instead of being at the game. (Sorry about that ). Are back in the BCs though, and went to the final last year.

8. UVIC Alumni (VISL. Last week's rank: 9). A very experienced and successful side, #1 presently in the VISL at 13-2-2. No idea what this team did this week, as all accounted for Island staff are blocking a logging road. Rumour has it they schooled Vantreights on the weekend, any help here for details from any of you reprobates over there?

9. Aldergrove United (FVSL Last week’s rank: 10). This robust and corn fed valley side is making its debutante appearance in the Provincials.

10. Nanaimo United. (VISL. Last week's rank: 12). #2 in the VISL currently, with 35 points. In an excellent position to qualify for the BCs. Still no reports on recent activity.

11. VicWest. (VISL. Last week's rank: 13). Staff advise that this side, one with a storied history in the Provincial Championships, can beat any team on any given day, and some are college graduates.

12. Nordic F.C. (NSCL. Last week's rank: 14). Recent signing Marklund could be the TSN turning point for this team’s Provincial Cup aspirations. League and cup winners in the NSCL. And much like Mrs.SM, this side is dangerous, and flaky..

13. Peace Arch United. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 16). In the BCs this year again, always competitive in this tournament. WHAT HAPPENED AGAINST SU?

14. Norvan F.C. (NSCL. Last week's rank: 17). Have had a very rough time in the draw and tournament in recent memory.

15. Coveside F.C. (NCSL. Last week's rank: 18). Did not play, have qualified for the BCs though, for the second year in a row. Looking for their first win in the Provincials this year.

16. Vantreights (VISL. Last week's rank: 19). Cup finalists are rumoured to have dropped a 3-0 decision in the final to the Alumni of the 2nd best University west of Alma. Are they in? (a question that the Anti-fan has frequently been faced with by the way).

17. Gorge (VISL. Last week's rank: not ranked): This side, named after Rangerforever’s eating habits, could also theoretically qualify for the BCs. But, Dickens could also theoretically go through 90 minutes without getting injured.

18. Sapperton Rovers. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 5). Their year is done.

19. ICSF Inter. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 11). Done for the year, too bad.

20. Cliff Avenue United. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 20). Will play Premier next year, but done for this season, one which these North Burnaby lads can be proud of.


So stay tuned to the TTP webcast for the Provincial Cup draw on Wednesday, April 18 for the Provincial Cup draw and Power Rankings discussion, after which this list will be pared to the final 16.

 

[Regs]

For what it is worth, BRM defeated a very undermanned PAU 5-0. PAU started with 10, then had a man get hurt so Pistol Pete and Ballbaby went over to their side.

Not really a good indication of where either team is at so I demand that BRM be removed from what I feel is a very unwarranted jump in the rankings.

Seriously.

~Regs.

 

[Sir M]

I know the guy that got hurt is my ex-partner. In a very professional not life partner but your job sense.

But enough of that.

Now it is time to have someone, anyone, from the VISl take some sort of interest in this thing we call the Provincial Championships and correspond from over there. This is how this whole Quebec separation thing started you know, Plains of Abraham and all that. And really, we do not need fries with cheese on top in this part of the world. Seriously.

In any event, we would love to have a call from any of our Island brothers tomorrow, just don't call me, contact Regs, because I'm busy.

But come on board boys.

 

[Scottyshell]

I am honoured to have had my name mentioned in the rankings....and not quite as piss taken as was our good friend ForeverStranger...we are still ranked to high!

Cheers from grumpy!

 

[Taxman]

[QUOTEUp one after defeating Firefighters on Sunday, utilizing numerous players 25 years younger than Scotty or Taxman apparently.QUOTE]



Sir M - Wrong on that one - I am the smartest but not the oldest. Amazing how RF -aka Heavierthaneverbecauseheisworkingtoomuch seems to prefer the VMSL posting site - hopefully he doesn't join us next year as the FVSL would probably get 4 spots (to waste - per SCK).

 

[Taxman]

Just in case you forgot what happened last year ....
MASTERS' DIVISION -- DERYL HUGHES CUP

ROUND OF 16--2006-04-22/23

Game 1: Surrey FC Rangers vs Wickham FC, 2006-04-22, at Newton Athletic Park 4-0

Game 2: UVIC Alumni Dragons vs Nanaimo United, 2006-04-22, at Finlayson Park 2-0

Game 3: Surrey United vs Norvan FC, 2006-04-23, at Cloverdale Athletic Park 6-0

Game 4: Nordick FC vs Firefighters, 2006-04-23, at Confederation Park (NV) 0-2

Game 5: West Van FC vs Delta Metro United, 2006-04-23, at Confederation Park (NV) 4-2

Game 6: Columbus FC vs Victoria Athletic, 2006-04-23, at Adanac Park at 12:00 noon 5-0

Game 7: Coveside FC vs WFC Westside, 2006-04-23, at Confederation Park at 9:45 a.m. 2-3

Game 8: ICSF Inter vs Gordon Head United, 2006-04-23, at Adanac Park at 2:00 p.m. 2-0



QUARTER-FINALS--2006-04-29/30

Game 9: Surrey FC Rangers vs UVIC Alumni Dragons, 2006-04-29, at Newton Athletic 5-2

Game 10: Surrey United vs Firefighters, 2006-04-30, at Cloverdale Athletic Park 0-3

Game 11: West Van FC vs Columbus FC, 2006-04-30, at Confederation Park (NV) 3-1

Game 12: WFC Westside vs ICSF Inter, 2006-04-30, at David Lam Park at 11:00 a.m. 3-0



SEMI-FINALS--2006-05-06/07

Game 13: Surrey FC Rangers vs Vancouver Firefighters, 2006-05-07, at Kinsman Stadium 1-4 (OT)

Game 14: West Van FC vs WFC Westside, 2006-05-07, at Kinsman Stadium at 1:00 p.m. 1-3



FINAL--COQUITLAM TOWN CENTRE STADIUM

SATURDAY, 2006-05-13 at 11:00 a.m.

GAME 15: VANCOUVER FIREFIGHTERS vs WFC WESTSIDE 1-0 (PK's)

(FIREFIGHTERS DECLARED MASTERS' CUP CHAMPIONS)

 

[biggs]

One more for the rankings

Nordic beat Coveside yesterday 3 - 0

 

[Sir M]

Well now it has come down now to the final 16 going into this year’s Master’s Provincial Cup. There was not much movement (kind of like Marleau’s hair actually) in this week’s rankings but, alas, there has been a bit of shuffling up near the top. The heartening news is that the Island correspondents have all been rescued and are resting comfortably. So, as we go into the first week of the BCs, here is this week’s edition of:

Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:

1. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week's rank: 1). This team has a habit of really beating up teams from the NSCL, and a habit of having a lot of bald guys on their team. But are a real force in the tough top side of the draw. Face Nordic at CAP this weekend, should go through staff report. Oh yes, they had a friendly against PAU this past weekend, but friendlies do not count in these rankings.

2. West Van F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 3). This team, much like RF, is on a roll, having knocked off in succession Sapperton Rovers, Columbus, Firefighters, and Metro Ford to take the Master’s League Cup. Big game against a pedigreed Westside in the first round of the Provincials this coming weekend.

3. Metro Ford Wolves. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 2). Drop one after losing in the final to West Van. Have the unenviable task of traveling to Finlayson Park, (a storied pitch named after Michael Findlay of BC Soccer), to face the big dogs of the VISL Vic Alumni on Sunday.

4. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 4). This side for a change is rested going in to the BCs. Sal, Sarge, Colbow are healthy, staff report, and Sarge is sporting a pretty funky hairstyle. Host Nanaimo on Sunday at Adanac, and staff are predicting a victory for the azzure (translated: “the vault of heaven”) in that one.

5. S.F.C. Rangers. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 6). Thumped FVSL qualifiers Aldergrove on Wednesday 3-0, and have added depth to their goaltending situation at just the right time. But the real reason for this team moving back into it’s rightful top 5 rankings spot is Coach’s stylin’ orange tinted sunglasses. Question: has anyone ever seen Coach and Sting in the same room at the same time? Away to Coveside in the first round.

6. Vancouver Firefighters. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 5). The Provincial Champs have a tough one on the Island against VicWest in the first round.

7. Westside F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 7). This team have not played much of late. But, much like Skanky CDMTC Blonde, this side is very experienced, dangerous and oftentimes under rated. Host West Van on Sunday at UBC.

8. UVIC Alumni. (VISL. Last week's rank: 8). Staff are reporting that this side is the class of the Island, but are hosting a tough Metro Ford side. MOTW potential.

9. VicWest. (VISL. Last week's rank: 11). Staff advise that this side is very much like UVic, but with less education. They are very much like Skanky CDMTC Blonde: a bit long in the tooth, and are hosting Firefighters this weekend.

10. Nanaimo United. (VISL. Last week's rank: 10). Staff report that this is a side that is always tough, as they have to live in Nanaimo. Off to Adanac to face Columbus in the first round.

11. Aldergrove United (FVSL Last week’s rank: 9). Got beat up by the Rangers on Wednesday, but staff are reporting that they were short of players…Wednesday nights are the qualifiers over at Skagit Speedway apparently.

12. Nordic F.C. (NSCL. Last week's rank: 12). Hold their spot, travel to CAP on Sunday. Second narrows, east on Highway One, through Vancouver, Burnaby, New West, Coquitlam, Surrey, turn right, drive about an hour, turn right at the cows, and when you see a bunch of ten year old kids playing (American) football complete with miniature cheerleaders and a game announcer, and it is hailing outside, you are there. Remove all valuables from vehicles. Then limp home, ashamed. Their fellow North Shore types, other than that suddenly huge group of Metro Ford "friends" and supporters, will be pulling for you to do well.

13. Peace Arch United. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 13). In the BCs this year again. Staff are reporting that, much like Dickens, this side is short.

14. Norvan F.C. (NSCL. Last week's rank: 14). Interesting matchup between this NSCL side and PAU this weekend, should be a good barometer for the North Shore League.

15. Coveside F.C. (NCSL. Last week's rank: 15). Get Rangers at home on Sunday, see above barometer reference.

16. Vantreights (VISL. Last week's rank: 16). Have qualified from the Island, and have to travel to Aldergrove. That is a town that has a place with elephants and camels, mennonites, panthers, bears, monkeys and cougars. I am serious.

So there you have this week’s rankings. Next week we will go down to eight. May the best teams win.

Cheers.

 

[Taxman]

RF - just to make sure you understand how this works - only 8 teams will be ranked after this weekend.

 

[biggs]

Sir M

You appear to be a little bitter towards Nordic this week you can't possibly believe all North Shore teams have a WV Peg. supporters club.......

 

[Sir M]

Oh sorry I thought they did.

My mistake.

 

[Hands of Stone]

Question: has anyone ever seen Coach and Sting in the same room at the same time? Cheers.

SirM, you have it all wrong, it is not Sting, its Joe Pesci from My Cousin Vinny, just ask Softserve about the Muckers BBQ's.

hos

And Again, Lets Go Rangers

 

[AntiFan]

SirM, you have it all wrong, it is not Sting, its Joe Pesci from My Cousin Vinny, just ask Softserve about the Muckers BBQ's.

hos

And Again, Lets Go Rangers

I always thought he was Bud Bundy

 

[Bigunit11]

Anyone have the Skinny on the team from Aldergrove?

 

[Sir M]

The words Skinny and Aldergrove should not be used in the same sentence is all I can say, according to staff anyway.

 

[Bigunit11]

How about low down?

 

[Bigunit11]

When I say Low Down, I am not referring to their crotches.

 

[Sir M]

Tell us about Vantreights Big'un...

 

[Bigunit11]

Vantreight's is a tough team. There is a good mix of Grit and Skill. Speed on the wings, tough in the middle and lots of finish up front. The power rankings are not that accurate, but we are ok with that. We beat Nanaimo in Nanaimo, We lost to and tied Uvic, we split the 2 games with Vic West. We hope Aldergrove takes us lightly. One thing for sure, Vantreight's will leave it all on the field. No question about that.

 

[Sir M]

Big Unit, thanks for the info, Vantreights sound a lot like Skanky CDMTC Blonde. Good luck this weekend, I hope you guys win this game.