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Quality U.K. telly....
- Thread starter Fastshow
- Start date
Tonight !!!
Apparently, David Beckham will be on ABC's 20/20 this friday.
For more info on what Perils of Fame is about you can read a little about it on the 20/20's website.
Oh, Posh is in the special to...don't know why it would be called a special now. Stupid, talentless......
Apparently, David Beckham will be on ABC's 20/20 this friday.
For more info on what Perils of Fame is about you can read a little about it on the 20/20's website.
Oh, Posh is in the special to...don't know why it would be called a special now. Stupid, talentless......
- Thread starter
- #26
Taffy......
Some choice quotes from Jeff Murdock, the strange Welsh bloke in BBC's "Coupling"
I've got the key to the gates of paradise but I have too many legs......
Sex can be very stressful for men. You judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina...we're just happy if you're naked...half naked...one breast.
My advice is to get them off right after your shoes and before your trousers...that's the sock gap. Miss it and suddenly you're a naked man in socks. No self-respecting woman with a naked man in socks will let him do the squelchy with her.
(talking about sex) When we finally get our hands on the gear, let me tell you, it's not a drill. We're supposed to fly those babies the first time we get in them.
(talking about porn)Well, it's kind of hard to tell isn't it 'cos you tend to fast forward if anyone's dressed. Sometimes I forget and do that with proper films. I can get through a lot of films in an evening.
She's leaving the country...she doesn't speak English...I insulted her friend's breasts...and she thinks I collect women's ears in a bucket.
There's a supermodel who shags total prats and I don't know where she lives..
I love the word naked, it's brilliant isn't it, 'naked'. When I was a kid I used to write the word naked on a bit of paper hundreds of times and rub my face in it.
When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name!
Jeff: Maybe you've fallen into a relationship thing.
Steve: Thing? Yet you have 8000 words for breasts.
Jeff: And counting.
Its like a feedback loop. You're somewhere quiet. There's people. Its a solemn occasion - say, a wedding. No - it's a minutes silence for someone who's died. The minute is ticking away... tick tock tick tock... and suddenly this thought pops into your head - The worst thing you can do in a minute silence is laugh. And you almost do, as an automatic reaction. But then, you think how awful it would have been if you HAD laughed, and you almost laugh again, only its a bigger laugh. But, then you think how funny it would have been if you'd laughed that bigger laugh, but this time the laugh is an enormous laugh. Let this one out and you get whiplash! So you're standing there, in this quiet room, shoulders going like you're drilling the road, and what do you think of the situation? Dear Christ! You think its funny!
Some choice quotes from Jeff Murdock, the strange Welsh bloke in BBC's "Coupling"
I've got the key to the gates of paradise but I have too many legs......
Sex can be very stressful for men. You judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina...we're just happy if you're naked...half naked...one breast.
My advice is to get them off right after your shoes and before your trousers...that's the sock gap. Miss it and suddenly you're a naked man in socks. No self-respecting woman with a naked man in socks will let him do the squelchy with her.
(talking about sex) When we finally get our hands on the gear, let me tell you, it's not a drill. We're supposed to fly those babies the first time we get in them.
(talking about porn)Well, it's kind of hard to tell isn't it 'cos you tend to fast forward if anyone's dressed. Sometimes I forget and do that with proper films. I can get through a lot of films in an evening.
She's leaving the country...she doesn't speak English...I insulted her friend's breasts...and she thinks I collect women's ears in a bucket.
There's a supermodel who shags total prats and I don't know where she lives..
I love the word naked, it's brilliant isn't it, 'naked'. When I was a kid I used to write the word naked on a bit of paper hundreds of times and rub my face in it.
When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name!
Jeff: Maybe you've fallen into a relationship thing.
Steve: Thing? Yet you have 8000 words for breasts.
Jeff: And counting.
Its like a feedback loop. You're somewhere quiet. There's people. Its a solemn occasion - say, a wedding. No - it's a minutes silence for someone who's died. The minute is ticking away... tick tock tick tock... and suddenly this thought pops into your head - The worst thing you can do in a minute silence is laugh. And you almost do, as an automatic reaction. But then, you think how awful it would have been if you HAD laughed, and you almost laugh again, only its a bigger laugh. But, then you think how funny it would have been if you'd laughed that bigger laugh, but this time the laugh is an enormous laugh. Let this one out and you get whiplash! So you're standing there, in this quiet room, shoulders going like you're drilling the road, and what do you think of the situation? Dear Christ! You think its funny!
- Thread starter
- #28
Rebus........
Guilts,
It's because John Hannah is one of the best actors on the planet. Next to Richard E. Grant.
I'd like to see Vic Mackie off The Shield transferred to E'burgh to work with Rebus. Those two would get up to no end of high-jinks.
Guilts,
It's because John Hannah is one of the best actors on the planet. Next to Richard E. Grant.
I'd like to see Vic Mackie off The Shield transferred to E'burgh to work with Rebus. Those two would get up to no end of high-jinks.
Captain Shamrock
Well-Known Member
Mr. England,
Steve 1234 is not Guilts, but I'm sure he appreciates your banter nonetheless. Cheers.
Captain
Steve 1234 is not Guilts, but I'm sure he appreciates your banter nonetheless. Cheers.
Captain
- Thread starter
- #30
balls....
Do forgive me Steve1234. If you're anything like me (and for your sake I hope you're not), you've been accused of being a great many things. Even I, however, have never been accused of being Steve Gielty.
Jesus, I am sorry.
Do forgive me Steve1234. If you're anything like me (and for your sake I hope you're not), you've been accused of being a great many things. Even I, however, have never been accused of being Steve Gielty.
Jesus, I am sorry.
- Thread starter
- #32
Peter Kayisms...........
> -I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
>
> -When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
> Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
>
> -Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
>
> -I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
>
> -I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
>
> -I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I
> ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
>
> -A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass.
> Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
>
> -Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names.
> But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
>
> -My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
>
> -Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner,
> you better have a good hand.
>
> -I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?'
> I said 'No, Six should be enough."
>
> -If we aren't supposed to eat animals,
> then why are they made out of meat?
>
> -I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
> give the wrong answers.
>
> -You know that look women get when they want sex? No? Me neither.
>
> -Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from
> things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
>
> -I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
>
> -Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think
> I've forgotten this before.
>
> -I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
> -I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
>
> -When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
> Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
>
> -Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
>
> -I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
>
> -I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
>
> -I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I
> ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
>
> -A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass.
> Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
>
> -Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names.
> But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
>
> -My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
>
> -Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner,
> you better have a good hand.
>
> -I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?'
> I said 'No, Six should be enough."
>
> -If we aren't supposed to eat animals,
> then why are they made out of meat?
>
> -I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
> give the wrong answers.
>
> -You know that look women get when they want sex? No? Me neither.
>
> -Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from
> things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
>
> -I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
>
> -Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think
> I've forgotten this before.
>
> -I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Thread starter
- #34
one to watch........
There's another new programme 99.9% of those on ttp won't 'get' but, for those who do, what a treat.
Made in Britain could be the televisual guide for all those for whom taking the piss is, and forever will be, far beyond their limited comprehension.
Pure gold.
It's currently on BBC2 and BBC3 if that helps.
There's another new programme 99.9% of those on ttp won't 'get' but, for those who do, what a treat.
Made in Britain could be the televisual guide for all those for whom taking the piss is, and forever will be, far beyond their limited comprehension.
Pure gold.
It's currently on BBC2 and BBC3 if that helps.
Fasty's fave.....
The first 3 episodes of The Office are being broadcast on Showcase tonight at 10 pm.
The first 3 episodes of The Office are being broadcast on Showcase tonight at 10 pm.
Jinky, do you know if they are going to air anymore of these? I haven't got a TV guide handy and my quest to become more like Fasty has come to a hault with-out this info. Thanks.
I watched all three the other night and have to admit I chuckled through all 3 episodes. That David Brent is a twitchy fcuker, but he almost becomes hypnotic after a half an hour or so.
I watched all three the other night and have to admit I chuckled through all 3 episodes. That David Brent is a twitchy fcuker, but he almost becomes hypnotic after a half an hour or so.
Only on Brit game shows would their air KNVB flaps.
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/gameshowletter.html
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/gameshowletter.html
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