International and Local Darts Championships

[Captain Shamrock]

Library is overrated

That is the poorest excuse so far. Work is a bad enough excuse, but SCHOOL?

So far, it looks like the Executioner, El Nino, Total Package(verbal commitment), and the Sidewinder will be enjoying the jubblies of Janina. Hopefully, Screw You will make an appearance wearing his D.C.S. 'belt' that he was wearing today for Festival du Bois .

Executioner who is off to practice for 1/2 an hour......

 

[the power]

enough, enough

Give me a break. I realize that independent thought is not encouraged at South Park Elementary, but at institutions of higher learning, hard work is a prerequisite. Not that I wouldn't rather enjoy spending time at the Buc, but taking time off from school to beat, make that destroy, Scud at golf on the weekend has left precious little free time available. I am prepared to take the verbal assaults that will come from my absence, however, my workstation at Koerner is calling...

 

[Captain Shamrock]

?

I realize that independent thought is not encouraged at South Park Elementary, but at institutions of higher learning, hard work is a prerequisite

Get it right, please. Independent thought is moot in the French Immersion side of the school. My kids are always encouraged to think for themselves. Take for example, the March Madness contest I have in my class. The kids are expected to pick winners throughout the tourney, in order to earn free homework passes. Where else could you find such an innovative approach to teaching fractions? Certainly not in French Immersion. It is very difficult to find a tournament bracket en Francais.


As for your institutions of higher learning comment, please note that I successfully made it through that same institution and hard work was not a prerequisite. It is all about cheating and studying the night before a test. Simple, really. If you want some strategies, e-mail me and I will be glad to help.


Captain

 

[One Dart]

Tsk Tsk

I agree with the captain, school is indeed a poor excuse. I will be showing up tonight, I figure I will use The Power's excuse to leave work early and make my way over to the Buc.

 

[the power]

May not November

Let me just ask One Dart when he will be graduating? Oh wait, now I remember, in November. As for The Power, graduation in May was never in doubt. Possibly due from time spent in the library; something I 'm sure that One Dart knows nothing about. When OD is enjoying summer school, The Power will be out enjoying his time off. As for lame no shows, it was OD who decided to bail last week when his shift from work ran long, not me.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

OD who decided to bail last week when his shift from work ran long, not me.

It's always easy to blame the twin. The fact of the matter is One Dart has vaulted ahead of both brothers in the rankings. There was no excuse for Scud. One Dart showed up and promptly took Double In right to the wire before being lumped by a struggling Executioner. He was then part of a record setting match with Sidewinder. Unfortunately, it was for the longest match in D.C.S. history,but a record none the less.......

Tonight's records:

The Gimpy Executioner 7 - 1
Double In 8 - 1
El Nino 3 - 5 (?)
Sidewinder 2 - 4
One Dart 0 - 3

At this time, I would like to welcome the Total Package back into the circuit. He was promptly thumped 5 games in a row which led to the quote of the night from Sidewinder.

"That's not fair. I didn't get a chance to thump the Total Package and everyone else did."

Janina's Bristol Cities were in tremendous form tonight and she even wore a different shirt.

 

[Home Brew]

give a dog it's due.

Sidewinder believes his record was 2_3, aqnd not 2-4 as posted.lost to El Nino twice,and to the Executionerand cannot remember any other losses. beat El Nino once and One DArt once.Did not play Double In, Can understand the Captains error as it was hard to concentrate on anything other than the incredible jubblies of our host. S/W.

 

[el_nino]

I'm Number 4

Of course, it matters not that Sidewinder was 2 - 3. The important best of three vs El Nino was all that counted.

It must be said at this point. During the third match, while El Nino was settling the bill with Janina (and over-tipping like shite to get her to love him), I believe Sidewinder took an extra turn to get him from 110 down to 46. El Nino was standing at 27 and hadn't played his arrows during this disruption, to allow Sidewinder to witness his demise.
It made no difference as Nino hit 7 double 10 to finish, but what of these weekly improprieties. It seems Sidewinder and family have lost sight of the D.C.S. code of ethics. I leave it to the commissioner to decide.
Another few observations.
Double-in may be feeling the pressure of trying to become Numero Uno. He is getting somewhat surly and was seen to hurl a few darts in anger. Just a scant few weeks ago this was a fine-able offence, but we seem to be pampering our star athletes a little too much. I leave it to the commissioner to decide.
The Executioner played extremely well with his inflamed groin. (It hurts right here Janina.) Sorry, I meant to say he played darts extremely well in spite of his inflamed groin. I leave it to Janina to decide.
It appears One Dart is the joy of his family and the nicest brother, judging by his demeanor and the posts of his brothers. It was good to meet you. I leave it to his parents to decide.
Power. I look forward to meeting you when you finish Hair Dressing School in May.
Total Package. Please return and take your beatings in the friendly, social atmosphere intended. Darts are fleeting, but the love we have for one another in the D.C.S. is forever. It is only a game. A stupid Fcuking game, but just a game. Misery loves company, and I love your company.
Her-I-cane. Fcuk you. I hear Yoko is having a memorial for you. "The Day His Testicles Died". Contributions to be sent to the Married Lesbians Sperm Bank. Touching.
I would also like to request that all future posts refrain from mentioning Janina's nuggets. As the future Mrs. El Nino, I simply can't allow this to continue.

El_NinowhowillplaybetterdartsifwegotoanIrishPubwithuglygirls.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Entertaining post....

Great post, El Nino.

Who is the commissioner anyway? I find it very ironic that Sidewinder made a huge deal about the Bulldog starting their match, while he was putting the names on the board. After witnessing Double One/Sidewinder breach the D.C.S. Code of Ethics continuously, as Commissioner(?), I hearby fine the Sidewinder a free round of pints for the crew, once the Executioner falls of the wagon. They were in cahoots two weeks ago when 'they' teamed up to try and dethrone the Executioner. It was bad enough that Double One was damaging the board every time he threw his tranquilizers. I didn't need an attempted 1919 Chicago White Sox type scandal to throw me off my game. Remember the pressure that comes with being number one? Remember?

If Club Ireland win on Saturday, there will be some drunken darts played that may or may not count in the standings. Of course, this depends on the performance of the Executioner........

Executioner

 

[knvb]

Double-in may be feeling the pressure of trying to become Numero Uno. He is getting somewhat surly and was seen to hurl a few darts in anger. Just a scant few weeks ago this was a fine-able offence, but we seem to be pampering our star athletes a little too much.

My only comment is to say No comment.

 

[knvb]

Wait I do have something to say....

What's the difference of me throwing my arrows at the bored in anger (and hitting it BTW) and One Dart throwing his and breaking a new records for distance away from? I believe his hit just above the line on the second A in CANADIAN It was such a mind boggling throw that El Nino actually cleaned the drool from him mouth, stopped staring at Janina nuggets and came over to point it out. Hard or soft guys my arrows always hit the target.....

I would also like to welcome One Dart to the D.C.S. he put quite the scare in me as I had troubles finishing him off. I look forward to only good things from the only dedicated brother of Scud. Has anyone ever seen all three (5?) Scud brothers in one place at one time? Makes you wonder....

BTW, I second the motion to fine the Sidewinder family a round, this is their third such "cheating" offence.

Scud brother family portrait until I see other wise.

 

[One Dart]

It was the "D"

Not the second A, it was the D in Canadian that I almost hit. This was surely due to the fact that my arm was becoming sore from the length of me and Sidewinder's match. I apologize to those who were in attendance and am grateful that not more members were there to witness my shoddy play.

 

[knvb]

I apologize to those who were in attendance and am grateful that not more members were there to witness my shoddy play.

It's OK One, we're just glad no one was hurt....

This post is brought to you by the letter DD.

 

[the power]

D is for dummy

Not the second A, it was the D in Canadian that I almost hit.

I think that what we have here is a physical representation of what must have been going through OD's mind. Obviously uneasy with the knowledge that his brother was studying, OD's thoughts must have slipped to grades. The D that he almost hit represents that marks that he would be getting if I were unable to proofread and go over his papers/assignments.

El nino's comments leave me speechless. I'll reserve comment until after meeting him.

 

[el_nino]

Double Trouble

Double-In - What's the difference??
The difference is that as a premier player and role model for perhaps countless generations to come, you must control yourself.
Darts is a gentlemen's game.
The Executioner learned one month ago that his position in the game cannot be tarnished by his whining and moaning. He must always conduct himself in a manner that is respectful to the D.C.S. and world darts in general. (Section C, Rule 10B, Sub-Rule 69), in the standard contract we all signed.
Fortunately for El Nino and Sidewinder, who are not in your esteemed positions, we can be absolute twats because no one pays attention to us.
However, the Sidewinder and family are pushing the envelope as regards their recent (mis)conduct.
Power - I'm glad you logged in. Please do not pass judgement on me until we have met. I mean no disrespect. I only mirror what your brothers have told me about you. They are good guys. Are you really the "black sheep"?. I think your brothers like me because I am a good listener,
Double In was correct in my astonishment about the now infamous D shot. I was going to go to my car to get my tape measure (we at the D.C.S. measure all boards/hockeys to determine regulation distances), but it was determined that I had consumed one beer over the regulation walking distance. I'm sure if I had, we would have shattered two D.C.S. records.

Longest Match - Is official - Sidewinder vs One Dart - a whole shitload of time. I know I had two beer waiting for this match to end. Good finishing lads.
One Dart - Furthest Distance from the board that was not a rejected dart (a record held by the Sidewinder). At least 14.7".

Now, I know this is off-topic, and perhaps we need to start a new thread, but we really must get behind the Her-I-Cane , "The Day His Testicles Died" fund raiser. Yoko called me, and she really misses his testicles.
I think we should all get together and show some balls to support this cause. She will be very receptive to our efforts.
I know this will require a lot of hard pushing on our behalf, but if we all get together, I'm sure we can come together.

Yours in D.C.S. Brotherhood,
El Nino

 

[Home Brew]

This photo, snapped by double one and Tomasz "the tower" at a recent late night pizza delivery to the Richmond Inn, may provide some insight as to why the Hurricane has been absent at DCS events. Instead of spending weeknights with the good ol' boys of the DCS, Hurricane has been 'persuaded' to spend countless days and nights simply lying around in bed. It is a terrible tragedy that a woman could come between a man and his passion for darts, and from all of us here at the DCS, Hurricane we wish you good fortune in your attempts to forever brake the shackles and chains that have been robbing you of your liberty.

Double One

 

[Captain Shamrock]

ALL WE ARE SAAAAYYYYING IS GIVE DARTS A CHANCE....ALL WE ARE SAAAAYYYING IS GIVE US A CHANCE

(Of course to the tune of Give Peace A Chance)

 

[Screw You Captain]

bravo

El Nino, count me in for five bucks for the nutless wonder fund.

Nice work, gents.

Also, under the super-unsanctioned conditions in the Executioner's chamber of horrors/classroom, several matches took place this afternoon.

Final standings:

Ex 2-0
Total Package 1-2
Scud 1-2
Travis "just stopped in from the hood" 1-2

Sadly, I broke the last of my replacement shafts and may have to revert to 2 dart on Wednesday.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Being the unsanctioned 2 dart champion, that shouldn't be a problem. Travis "Dartsinthehood" MacFarlane has some potential to be on the circuit, once he learns how to dress appropriately and also learns some etiquette. He should be going to the Double In/Sidewinder School of Etiquette.

 

[One Dart]

Poor Hurricane

I think that the Captain and Scud should teach Hurricane a lesson about bailing on the significant other. Captain is obviously a pro since he's either playing soccer, playing darts, or on TTP. Well done, we salute your DCS patriotism. Sad to hear that Scud broke the last of his replacement darts. I'll be happy to break the rest if you show up on wednesday.