D.C.S. Weekly Rankings

[knvb]

I will not be bullied

1) The Scud - Moves in to first by default.

2) Ten Darts from greatness-

3) Sidewinder -

4) The Power -

5) One Dart-

6) El Nino-

7) David 'The Calgarian Flame' Quigley-

8) Brave Dart- Down at 8 because of an extreamly bad taste in sweaters

9) Hurricane & Total Package - Both no shows again.

Outside looking in..... Executioner and Double In.

With both The one and two seeds quitting last week everyone automatically moves up. It's unfortunate that the two ego's had to collide and cause such a rift in the once great D.C.S.

Hopefully, with good behaviour and a hardy apology the great members of the D.C.S and Euro D.C.S. will allow X and Double in back into there ranks.


Where they will both be back to total domination in a matter of one week. There calibre of the others is really beneath them, but the waitress and her nuggets at the Buck keeps them coming back week after week. Enjoy it while it last Scud. X and Double in are gunning for you!

 

[One Dart]

Unbelievable

Double In, were you even watching the matches at the Buc last wednesday? I know that you read about my thrashings of The Power and Scud on monday and tuesday. A number five ranking is outrageous. Scud could barely hit the board on wednesday yet he becomes number one. Ten Darts couldn't deal with the verbal outbursts from the Calgarian Flame and as a result was spanked (not ass slapped) by the lefthander. I beat The Power about 13 times last week yet even he is ahead of me.

As a result of the lack of care and attention given to the rankings by KNVB this week, I am forced to provide my own rankings. Here they are...

1)Executioner - survives a defeat from dartsinthehood to win back to the top billing.

2)Double In - Falls back to number two but it seems that only the Ex can beat him regularly.

3)One Dart - A strong week brings him his highest ranking yet.

4)Ten Darts From Greatness - Can spank the Calgarian Flame but must overcome his fear of lefthanders before climbing further.

5)Sidewinder - Will soon drop off the rankings with his "vacation".

6)El Nino - Perhaps no Janina is good for his darts.

7)Scud - Your poor performance didn't slip by me.

8)The Power - A little too much dart juice hampered his arrows.

9)Calgarian Flame - Can heckle like a pro but throw like a 12 year old.

10)Bravedart - Double In was right, terrible sweater.

11)Total Package and Hurricane - no matches, no ranking.

These rankings are an attempt to bring some sanity back to the DCS, allowing both the EX and DI back onto the circuit. Also, this is a call for the Ex to resume his role as commissioner and once again provide rankings that only Double In can object to. Stick a movie on this afternoon and tell them you will be "working" on your computer.

 

[Home Brew]

hear,hear

well done one dart.obviously double in was distracted by the heavy metal ladies .your rankings make much more sense;and i join you in demanding the executioner resumes his weekly task of compiling rankings in a timely fashion on sunday evenings.sidewinder.

 

[knvb]

#2 again?

So if your dysfunctional family dart night counts towards the rankings, then so should my ass kicking's of my father-in-law and my stunning finishes vs. Mrs. Double In. (Dart finishes that is )

Next we'll have Executioner count in his warm up matches vs. his daughter, who BTW on most nights could kick your ass, if he would let her stay up later.

I shall update the records thread then accordingly. Most notable will be my 15 game undefeated streak and your 15 game losing streak.

Untill Wednesday then.

 

[One Dart]

Not so

While your matches against Mrs Double In may be fun for you, she is unfortunately not a member of the DCS. As for the Captain beating his daughter, well, she ain't a member either, so therefore your point is MOOT. My dysfunctional family members are also DCS members, can you explain to me how those matches shouldn't count then? As for my alleged 15 game losing streak, I believe we have gone over this and the most it could have been was 8. I don't remember a 15 match win streak however, remember Mrs DI isn't a member.

 

[knvb]

Balls.

If she shows (Mrs. Double In) on Wednesday does it then count? I believe Captain's kid was one of the original members. She's just has ID problems at the Buck.

We have gone through your 15 game losing streak and you're now contradicting yourself. Fist you said they were unsanctioned now you want to call them sanctioned and take credit for them. Which is it OD? Sanctioned and a nice # 4 ranking with a 15 game losing streak or Unsanctioned and a #8 ranking as well as an 8 game losing streak? Your call .......

BTW, Playing Mrs. Double in is not fun for me. After the last ass dance I gave her it's been awfully cold in Double In's dog house. I now have to live vicariously through the Executioner and his sexcapades.

Tell me of the women in Campbell river again Captain and go slow..........

 

[Captain Shamrock]

through the Executioner and his sexcapades.

Believe me, after looking at the Humpty Dumpties in Campbell River, sex was the LAST thing on my mind. I am still having flashbacks.


As for the rankings, I will try to do the job. I am a very busy man now, as you can tell by the fact my posts have dropped from 7.11 to 7.04 per day over the last couple of weeks. I will do my best though..

Executioner

 

[the power]

Enough already

Methinks One Dart doth protest too much.
Suck it up and leave me out of it. Yes, you had a good streak last week, but you must remember, I was drunk. I might just have to go club soda on Wednesday a la Ex and kick your ass. As for the sexcapades, enough is enough. The only 69 finish I want to hear about is 19 Double Bull. I'm sorry that things aren't working out for you Double In, maybe you should listen to Rock 101. They have an ad for those who feel "inadequate" in certain areas...

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Number one, again.

After beating Scud 4 - 1 in sanctioned Rose and Crown play, as well as beating The Whirlwind Darling 2 straight matches, my record sits at 10 - 4 for the week. This is once again good enough to be number one for the 13th straight week. Double In lost to Sidewinder twice on the same night. Sidewinder has beaten me ONCE in about 8 months, so your challenge for number one is moot .

1) Executioner

2 - 12)It really doesn't matter because I am number one.


The humble number one player in the D.C.S.

 

[One Dart]

Humble?

I think there should be a fine for those rankings. Not exactly what OD was looking for when he requested the Captain make the rankings again. Very poor etiquette indeed. If the Captain feels that members 2 through 12 in the DCS are not worthy of being mentioned, maybe he feels that we are not worthy of being played against. Perhaps a new DCS, a Executioner-less DCS should be born if the Captain feels that we no longer meet his standards. I hear that the boys in Cambell River are looking for a new whipping boy.

 

[knvb]

And you wanted me off the rankings? Good choice guys.

X you beat the D.C.S. punching bag 4 times and lost to him once and you feel this is a good reason to stay at #1? Brutal. I've seen better decisions by a Island Ref. My record of 9-2 on Wednesday still kicks the crap out of the 5-3 night you had. Just because you had some extra time to play with Scuds this weekend doesn't make Wednesday forgettable.

I may have lost to Sidewinder, but at least I had a better record than him. This week ranking are officially under protest and I will consider them moot.until the Captain remove his head from his ass.

BTW, I now have a 20 game undefeated streak going vs. My near sited father-in-law.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Get over it, my D.C.S. bitches. It must be getting boring for you guys looking up at the number one ranking every week. Why don't you do something about it? How about fcuking practicing so you can give me a decent match? That is why I was a little off form on Wednesday because the competition, quite frankly, is not there. Until I lose TWO in a row to any D.C.S. putz, I will be the undisputed champ. Usually after I let someone beat me, I come back with a good old fashioned execution.

The Courageous Captain

BTW, let's see your rankings One Dart. You beat me once with a fcuking S17, D1 and all of a sudden, you're a world beater? You're a willy beater for now, and until you can put a couple of wins together, you might want to talk to Double In about his frustration of being second/third fiddle for 13 consecutive weeks. You guys might help each other get over the mental humps(not dry humps) you both possess. For now, and at least for another week, I am champion. If this doesn't work, call Tony Robbins. Or a prayer to St. Jude(Saint of lost causes) might be useful.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I forgot.....

My record of 9-2 on Wednesday still kicks the crap out of the 5-3 night you had.

Yah, I wasn't the one who was doubling up on matches, just to beat the whipping boys, like Sidewinder. Sorry, I forgot, you are HIS whipping boy. I take that back. You played 11 games to my 7. I would have stuffed you the next time I played you and your record would be inconsequential. Of course, you were rushing to play Bravedart but running for the hills when it came time for the re-match with the number one player. Typical.


Executioner

 

[One Dart]

True

I also enjoy playing Double In first EVERY SINGLE WEEK because he needs to get his record back to .500. Maybe if he let me get some warm up matches in, kind of like the ones he plays against Sidewinder, I wouldn't be coming in out of the cold and playing the number two ranked player. With that being said, Double In, I agree that the rankings are a travesty. I think we all agree that beating up on Scud is nothing to get too worked up about. And lets remember Ex that there is a reason I had the best ass dance of the evening .

 

[knvb]

Of course, you were rushing to play Bravedart but running for the hills when it came time for the re-match with the number one player. Typical.

The world according to Captain eh? What a place. What do you have them put in your Club Soda? I asked you for a match at the end of the night while we were waiting to see which Scud brother could take the longest to finish.

Your answer to me was "No I'm not up for it. I'll just throw a few more practice arrows and head home" 50 arrows later you left. You're ducking me and pride won't let you admit it. What happened to the Hard core title "24/7" you said.

The facts are it was YOU that would have got stuffed! I wasn't the poor sport that threw two arrows at the same time, I wasn't the big baby who was getting his ass kick and switch to a south paw. I may have lost to Sidewinder, on a night he was a fire, but at least I didn't lose to OD on a night when he was stinking the joint out. Remember OD also lost to Sidewinder that night.

I'll take my 81% success rate any time over your 62% even if it means throwing a sympathy game or twoto Sidewinder once in a while.

I know how you like nipples and after Wednesday and Sunday's ranking I now know which is your favorite.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I may have lost to Sidewinder

Actually, you did lose to him. TWICE. By the way my record of 10 - 4 was a 71% success rate, with no losses against the token DCS whipping boy. You are too easy to rattle. Speaking of which, would you like one to go sleep tonight? You're a frustrated man right now, Double In. In the last few weeks here are some of your accomplishments:

1)A loss in the Imperial Cup final
2)A loss in the Provincial Cup final
3)2 losses to Sidewinder on the same night
4)A 200 point spanking at the hands of the Executioner
5)A pathetic 5-5 record

How soon you forget your failures. I was 10-4 this week. BTW, your comment about asking me for another match is MOOT because that was TWO weeks ago. You can't even get the weeks straight now. I have Campbell River to blame for my sub-par play(along with 9 other reasons) on Wednesday but you have no reason. You choke under the pressure, even when someone starts playing left handed or throwing two darts at once. You weren't sure how to deal with this and I will remember this in the future.

Anyway, I better let you go and prepare for another loss on Wednesday, which will end your miserable season of futility. I wouldn't even want a match on Wednesday night because one can only take so many losses in that short time span. I wouldn't even wish that upon any of my enemies. You, for now, are not an enemy.

BTW, good luck on Wednesday.

 

[knvb]

So your saying Scud and OD are not wipping boys? Come on. You're fooling yourself man. I've had better games vs. Mrs Double In than those two. I would however like to ask where you came up with #4 and #5 on your pathetic little list?

BTW, yourself ! That was not 2 weeks ago it was last week! Mrs. X must be one hell of a lay for such a "smart" guy like yourself forgetting such details.

As for Wednesday I've already made plans to join the guys at the Buck after we dispose of the Toons. I believe even Guinness will be making an appearance.

X, see if you can have your shite together for at least one night. I tire of these cheesy excuses of yours.

 

[One Dart]

Once again...

I disagree with Double In, I do believe that it was last week that Captain took his ball and left relatively early while you engaged in a game of cricket with three others. As for me being a WHIPPING boy, I have printed that post off and it will be pinned up beside the dart board at the landing whenever I practice as motivation. I don't care if you get your picture in the paper, you will go down.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

So your saying Scud and OD are not wiping boys

I don't know about their wiping abilities but I do know they are not whipping boys anymore. Once they have beat the number one player, they are no longer whipping boys. Sidewinder has NEVER beat me in DCS player. He is still a whipping boy and will be until he gets back. You will be a whipping boy soon as I will be practicing strategically tomorrow night.

I thought we were going to the Landing though. Yanina is not working after 9:00 and I don't think I can 'play' with someone else........

Executioner who feels a few grudge matches coming on Wednesday.

One Dart, you will be my be-atch once again. Single 17/Double 1

 

[One Dart]

Tilly?

Now that the executioner has retired Tilly, will you be making the rankings? I realize that you are inexperienced as you haven't actually played a sanctioned DCS match, but after all, you are privy to the inner thoughts and workings of the Captain, perhaps you could enlighten us with some rankings?