Div 2 2002-3 Division 2 Banter

[the manager]

this spuds for you!!!

Well, I would like to give a graphic visual aid to spuds earlier comments of:

the secret to scoring goals is this: When the cross comes in and you're going for the header/volley/spaz kick, put your arms in the air like you just don't care and yell "Here we go, it's SHOWTIME", then thump it!

Well spud,

You're right...I guess it is showtime...looks like you thumpedit, or should I say dumped it, pretty good. Is that brown stain your secret to scoring goals? Is that what you call going fr the header? It looks like the cross came came right in your pants.
You must have strained yourself jumping for that ball. Maybe you should have yelled "Here we go....oops I went....it's CRAPTIME"

more to come

 

[Vinnie]

Manager,

Good stuff. But, where has the other hand of the player in red going? or maybe

 

[Teelay]

Those are some nice sh!t stains ... too lazy to do his laundry for sure...

 

[the manager]

more of yomama and watcher

Here we have a picture of watcher pleading with yomama...

"listen to me mama, you can't yell at me like that....look at me. I'm not the stiker stud I used to be." said the watcher with passion in his voice.

"I'm sorry watcher", said yomama. "It's hard for me to yell at you...I don't like what it does to the thing we have giong between us."

"I agree" pants the watcher "I don't want anything to break us up......You complete me"...."I'll try to take my man next time"

 

[the manager]

mickster in the midfield

I snagged a shot of mickster the 'flame'boyant soccer player when he had a brief stint in the midfield. Here we can see his 'artzie' maneouverability as he prances along the field looking for someone to pass to. In a lispy voice mickster says:

"oh my gosh!! I acctualy have the ball. Oh no, who should I pass to? Is anyone open? Oh look...theres spud...he's cute. Hey spud here you go, I'm passing to you...."

 

[Keeper]

Silly me: I thought I'd seen the last of those pictures when I cleared out my inbox.

 

[the manager]

NK slagg

Well, I couldn't sign off without slaggin our NK train who, for the last few games, have been in a bit of a holding pattern and not managed wins or goals. Here is a picture of an NK post goal celebration. We see watcher and yomama....but we can't quite make out who's on the bottom. Is it one-eye? It can't be...goals are rear for him (he better crack one tomorrow) It can't be the manager, I'm writing the post. Is it iron mike? I don't think so...he's still riding the pines. Who could it be? It's a mystery. Anyways, you can see that the train is alive and well.

 

[mickster]

Managers new recruits

With NK in a holding pattern, manager has been forced into signing some new recruits. Not only is he looking for more skill, speed, charisma, and IQ than what is currently on the NK squad, he is also looking for a warm and fuzzy playmate. Recruits with whom he can communicate on the same intellectual level. Well manager, I think you found them. I thought I'd just show the pic of you in your training session with the new recruits and not the pics of what the 3 of you got up to on their rookie night!!!

 

[Dapotayto]

Picture Day in Div. 2

Keeper, fcuk off.

Manager, where I come from those stains on my shorts are called bacon strips. There are a badge of honor back in redneckville! Thanks for entertaining us today but keep this in mind. I am a spiteful little bastard and through years of Wing Chun Kung-Fu practice (Well, several months anyway) I have perfected the snap kick to the 'nads. For all your efforts today you have earned yourself a free groining. Here's an example of my prowess. Watch your back!

P.s. Work slow today or what?

 

[Regs]

P.s. Work slow today or what?

No, work was slow yesterday for the manager... how else would he find the time to phone TTP headquarters and ask more than once how to attach pictures?

~Regs.

 

[Yomama!]

The unidentified third man beneath the Watcher and myself is no other than our little "Portuguese Buns" midfielder. Heeths tho thexy! MMM MMM MMM

By the way, Yomama is always the caboose. Always the caboose!

And Spud, I think I'll overlook your tip about " relaxing and breathing" before the cross as it seems to have an obscure effect, atleast on you. Perhaps you should have added a part about tightening your sphincter.

And Manager...lets call your goal what it was last week...A CROSS...and not the aforementioned STRIKE you bragged about.
STRIKE: the ball moves from point A to Point B in a straight, hard, fast line.
CROSS (otherwise may be called a LOB): the ball moves from Point A to Point Z along a trajectory of 60 degrees as it circumnavigates the globe passing Points B to Y along the way and finally re-entering orbit or the net in your case....perlpexing not only the keeper, but both teams, yourself, the crowd, birds flying over head, the ref, etc.

 

[Yomama!]

if anyone comments on my incorrect spelling of perplexing, they can go fcuk themselves.

NK to win tomorrow.

 

[the manager]

is this thread good again or what??

in reverse order,

yomama,

it was a strike! You obviously failed to witness the power and deadly accuracy of my deceptive STRIKE! You were too busy romancing the watcher.....as pictures prove.

regs,

work was busy....thanks for the tips. The posts took all of 3 mins each as I have been planning my attack in advance....no time wasted here

hmmm...potayto and bacon???

spud, I just had to slag ya something fierce. I'd say that you are one of the liveliest charactors on here and your humor/photography make ttp a worthwhile experience. I love slaggin you...it's fun. As per your wang chung comment...are you sure it's not wang dung??? Easy with the 'sack' threats. I think thats really a picture of your best attempt at a nut meg.....very skillful.

mickster,

looking for a warm and fuzzy playmate

it appears, as seen in your previous picture, that you are the only one looking for a warm fuzzy playmate. The picture of the guy with cows was acctually of me scouting your girlfriends team. I didn't find much talent there....they kept telling me to mooove!


conclusion,

me's likes it when this threads iz alive and well!

 

[Regs]

No comment on the spelling error but your lack of using the edit feature is highly perlpexing

~Regs.

 

[the manager]

spelling shmelling

good one regardo,

when your fingers (both of them) move with swift lightning speed there are bound to be mastakes. My self worth comes not from constructing gramatically correct sentences. With the dim wit's perusing this forum, phonetically spelt words will suffice. This is a picture generation. Besides, spelling piss-takes are growing old with me. Replys like the following ".......haha...your stupid....you spelt your words wrong." are boring and lacking to say the least.

reganam

 

[Regs]

Numbnuts, I mean, Numbnutz,

I wasn't talking to you

~Regs.

 

[Yomama!]

You guys are both stoopid.

 

[the manager]

my bad regs

regs,

the fluerry of posts today has left the manager's "observing" skills on the back burner. I know now that you were refering to yomama's lack of using the edit feature.....my bad buddy.

confusedmanagerwantstobefriends

 

[Jinky]

the manager,

For the love of little baby Jesus,

stop referring to yourself in the third person.

unless you are Bo Jackson.

 

[one-eye]

One-eye checking in

Reviewing the highlights,

Well, it has been sometime since the old one-eye has graced this forum. Reading back over the past month is see alot has taken place. I'm sorry manager that i couldn't have been there for you when you took a beating for commenting about the neww ttp banner. And that fastshow character, I know now never to get on the bad side of your intellect. Are you an Oxford scholar?I had to refer to my dictionary 10 times during that string of lashback towards the manager. And manager it looks like you have mastered your editing skills in photoshop, those skid marks were hillarious.

Today's game

Watcher, I want to rip you a new arse for not picking up a single man the entire game however, you continue to be our only scoring threat so we'll let it slide this week. Yomama, we could have used you and the milkman out there today, looking forward to your return.

Manager I was looking for another stunner from you today but you left the game pretty early, what was up?

Last comment, boys we have far too much talent to be drawing to teams like we played today. We are lacking heart all over the pitch myself included. We gotta step it up a notch.

Later