Div 2 2002-3 Division 2 Banter

[hammer]

mickster, one run, pota-ho, iron mike, vvvratttrrr, therapist,bandcamp, all the ugly east end boys et al.

the hammer is back for another season of the piss.... and the occassional game of footie.

was semi-retired for 6 games or so but could not leave this great game of ours and quite frankly miss all of the use-ful(less) banter.

viewing previous posts, i think we need to kick up this thread a wee bit.

v-rat, i see that you have been sidelined from a team this year. Even though the mighty beam is in desperate need for a keep, i was wondering what ever happened to that lovely powder-blue ensemble that screamed (gay) 'pride' in you ?

One thing that is going for our mixed (div 2 & 3) grouping is we finally have more than 12-14 games on the fcuking schedule!

A question to ponder "Should this great league of ours abolish all White, blue or orange footwear this year? sorry lads, but wearing these colours on the feet is just not right and in my mind and quite frankly, creates a fcuking target on the pitch! Isn't it always the prima-donnas that don these colours?.....thoughts


good friends do not let friends drink "Jack" only BEAM!

goodtothelastdrop!

 

[the manager]

thoughts

hello Mr. hammer....or can I call you mc for short?

It's great to see some interest in sparking up this 'banter' thread. It seems that only a faithful few are contributing to regular piss-taking with quality posts. Creative displays of piss-taking at it's finest is always welcome.

enough said....on to thoughts,

as per v-rat, as you put it...he has been sidelined from this current NK sqad, or could we say that he's been relegated to playing a certain position comonly known as 'left right out'. Reasons for this? NK is new and improved,as the stats dictate, and has a keeper that would make the best of keepers in the vmsl look below average. By the way....ther powder blues you speak of did not fit into the current vision for the NK train...in light of your 'gay pride' comments, there was a risk of associating our team with the 'wrong kind of train'.

moving forward....it's nice to have 18 games...more competition and more teams to whip!

to your pondering question about white, blue, or orange footwear....nothing to ponder. I think anyone brave enough to wear boots of the above mentiond colors should be forced, by the league and their teamates, to sport a Ronaldo world cup haircut and further, to have their front teeth professionaly gapped.

just some feedback.....more thoughts about 'bright footwear' are welcome.

BTW mc, what is your involvement with the North Shore BJ's (darn dislexia) anyway? A friendly between the Beam and train could be in the works!

managerknowshowtotakethepissoutasomeone

 

[Yomama!]

Welcome back to the forum, Hummer. Allow myself to introduce...myself...I am Yomama: the baddest lowdown man around this town.

Hey Manager, remember on Tuesday night when we were playing hockey and you were trying to beat me one on one. You started dipsy doodling with the puck, making more moves than exlax...and then I threw my forearm into your chest and put your sorry chunk butt flat on the ice. That was pretty funny (I won't even mention the resulting cheap shot you threw at me afterwards...I was flabbergasted that such a mature, upstanding sportsman like yourself would resort to such actions, but I guess I hurt more than your butt on that occassion. ) I must add though, you looked pretty good for some one who has had such a long hiatus from the ice.

See you at practice tonight.

 

[bandcamp]

hammertime

can't touch this.

nice to have you back - in here and on the pitch. maybe you can help the BEAM, at least with the drinking

 

[hammer]

manager,

I have been addicted to Beam ever since I could remember (not) Think I have to blame the old parental units, being of English blood (sorry mickster, one-run, senior) our nightly ritual included one or two shots of fine tennesse bourbon to help us kids (1yr and up) sleep. As a founding member of our NSU club my association dates back to the "Its been so long I can't remember" stage, due to age and abuse of the beam bottle not to mention many kicks to the head.


Are you playing for NK?? We should line up a exhibition game, have not really seen the standings in this div yet, but the beam is always looking for a match.....friendly or not depending how drunk i am!

bandcamp, glad to see your posting is live and well, has your rash disappeared? Didn't I tell you to stay away from those Sechelt girls?? I have learned from experience, Sechelt tourny back in 98,she did me in, I still walk with a limp!!!

glad to be back lads!

beamstraightupandnofcukingtwist!

 

[Vinnie]

Paramount..her pictures presents

Remade...
Revived...

 

[Vinnie]

Paramount..her pictures in conjunction with TTP studios, proudly presents this falls newest remade (not for TV) comedy...

THROW YOMAMA! from the NK Train...

Staring an all new cast of:

Yomama as him/her self
Manager as Larry...Owens new best friend
Watcher as OWEN (notice the resemblence of the two)
One-Eye as watchers stunt double

Notable quotes from the movie are:

Yomama: Who the Hell are you?
Manager: I'm Owen's friend.
Yomama: Owen doesn't have a friend.
Manager: That's because he's shy.
Yomama: No, he's not; he's fat and he's stupid.

--and--

Yomoma: Owen! Food!
Manager: In a minute, Momma.
Yomoma: Don't you "In a minute, Momma" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly god damn it! And don't burn the toast!
Manager: Kill her, Larry.

--and--

Yomama: Owen, your friend's dead. Go bury him in the back yard before he stinks up the place.

This VMSL academy Award film will be released soon...consult your local listing for times and venues

 

[Yomama!]

Nice, Biteme. Very nice. It made me chuckle even if I was the butt of that elaborate joke.

With the inclusion of One-Eye in your post, I believe you just may have "awoken a sleeping giant."

Let the photoshop battle begin. TORA! TORA! TORA!

 

[vratar]

Hammer,

was wondering what ever happened to that lovely powder blue ensemble...

It was donated to speedo-man for the 2003-2004 season. I hear he will be ordering matching coloured speedos. The NS JBs winning record is re-established and promotion into div.1 becomes a reality. Hammer plays a few games however his feeble legs cannot handle the pace. He retires for good and becomes water boy and team mascot.


Manger,

Vrater,... who have you signed with?

With an amateur team in Kanada. Glad to hear NK has signed a keeper which would make the best of keepers in vmsl look average.
Oh by the way hows your game coming along? Last time I had the privilege, you were virtually invisible on the pitch, other than a few occassional rolls down the field on that double spare tire of yours. Fcuk those poor bastards on opposing team didnt know what hit them.



vratarisbackinblackandreadytoshutdowntallopposingstrikers

 

[Dapotayto]

Biteme, that was sswwweeeet! Man, I got a good chuckle out of that.


Manager, your goalkeeper might well be very good but I think you might have made a serious mistake in training your strikers. If you want them to be better at scoring then Finishing School might be a good bet. But sending them to this school was a little misguided, I would think. BTW, who's who in the picture? I'm guessing that's Yomama on the far left.

 

[number2]

Westside Knights v Maplewood

Maplewood 0
Westside Knights 6

Some may have said I "Retired". I, on the other hand claim I was holding out for a better contract.

... So after missing the first 7 games, I managed a 45 minutes in a 6:0 fairly uneventful rout.

No cheap stuff, a couple of bad tackles requiring yellows, but essetially a pretty boring game for the ref.


number2

 

[Keeper]

Nice

So was your 45 broken down into nine 5 minute periods or eighteen 2.5 minutes stints?

 

[Keeper]

2 CAT

On other fronts, the Rangers tried to make it a full Westside weekend sweep of the 'Lomas, but could only manage to hang on to a 1-1 tie after letting the Mermaids back into it. In an entertaining battle between the heavyweights, there were surprisingly few clear cut chances for either team -- both teams simply being able to capitalize when they could. However, Westside was unlucky to face a solid 2nd half keeper on a PK at the 80th minute -- a quality save from that young boy.

As a result, both teams are still left 1-2 at the top of the table. Barring any slip ups in the next several weeks, it looks like it'll take the rematch to decide the division winner.

 

[Boycs]

Lomas Reply

I'll agree with your assessment Keeps, it was a good game all around, with both sides missing a couple of good chances, two knocked off the line by Lomas defenders in the second half and the Lomas missing a couple of clear cut ones, including myself shinning one after being put in from a good free kick.

All in all the draw was a fair result. Should your keeper have had the cross for our goal?? Was it you?

This is the quality of game which would make CAT worth playing in, but we don't get very many of them. There are too many games in CAT at the moment like our matchup with ICSF last weekend where it was a complete joke.

Looking forward to the rematch.

 

[Keeper]

Unfortunately, no. It wasn't me in net. As much as I wanted to play again today, the powers at large are afraid I'll injure myself leaving 'the program' in jeopardy. I had to resign myself to a bag of McD's and a linesman's flag. That said, I think my replacement has been handling the work load quite well. Normally, he's a striker, which might suggest that any monkey can handle the job of a keeper.

'Til the next round . . .

 

[number2]

I just check the excellent site and saw our result posted as a 4-2 win?!?! What the fcuk?!!! How can a ref FCUK up that bad in an total no brainer of a result?

I'm back for only one game and they're already pissing me off! Classic VMSL Administration


number2whocan'twaituntilnextweek

 

[Dapotayto]

Yomama, in regards to an exhibition game we are trying to get something teed up but unfortunately the fields at Burnaby Lake are all booked up on Thursdays. Haven't given up on it though so stay tuned.

 

[hard ballz]

Temple vs. Club I

Looks like Club I. took there first defeat in the div.2 cat against Temple 2-1. Any details on any other cat games as it looks pretty tight up top of the table. Do the top two teams get promoted to div.1 cat or is it just the top team?

Hard Ballz

 

[Keeper]

As far as I understand, no teams are promoted.

As I mentioned in another thread, Westside Rangers and Meralomas drew 1-1. While they're both the top teams in CAT A, their draw has let Sikh Temple (amazingly) creep up close in third.

 

[hard ballz]

Keeper....

So even if you win the division you remain in div.2 cat? Do you have to apply to get into div.1 cat?

Hard Ballz