Div 1 Div 1 Results, Game Reports, and other Banter for the 2002/2003 season.

[Buckfast]

Coach,

Who lit the fire under Kurty's ass? Did Jacquie threaten to cut out his lunches? Or worse yet, throw him out of the house.

It's not easy being middle-aged and still living at home. Just ask Balsa. Stress, man, stress.

In regards to your absence of a keeper, RF talked to Don Meehan and knows what I'm looking for in a signing bonus. Let's not drag this out as I will take a loss in wages to stay in Canada.

Yours in mediation in the guise of patriotism,

Buckfast

 

[Oscar Goldman]

Quoting the Kaiser...

Originally posted by kick_it7
The smell of confidence drifted across the hallowed grounds of J.O. Friday night or it might have been the wreched stench of the unwashed jerseys? Either way the Delta Highlanders took the field Friday night with a swagger only fit for a well aged, punch drunk fighter. The crowds had gathered waiting in eager anticipation of this classic match featuring the Highlanders and Poco. And as the poll indicates (awfully skewed by the votes of Highlander family and friends) the Highlanders came away with a well earned 1-0 victory. Both teams had their chances but Delta showed that scoring prowess that other teams can only dream of, as they were able to burry one of their 10 chances. It is that never quit attitude that drives this bunch. And the scary thing is, with a win next week the Highlanders will equal their best start in over 5 years. 2 and 0 start....dare to dream!!!

I thought that I'd place this brilliant literary piece into the thread in which it belongs. It also provides nice balance for the error filled effort produced by Coach. As I was reading Coach's post, it felt like I was stuck on a highway full of potholes with no exit to be seen. Probably shouldn't have skipped all those English classes with Mr. McGinnis and Mrs. Zwick. Having said that, congrats on your first victory. I'm know that everyone (BALSA!) was pulling for you .

As Kickit explained so effectively, the Highlanders began their season in fine form. Perhaps the greatest achievement was made by the field crew as they lined the pitch without so much as one marking to go by. The game was quite scrambly to say the least, though I believe the Highlanders came away with the best chances. Poco was clearly a team with talent that should come together as the season progresses. Cheers to them for selling us beer at a cheaper price than our own beer guy!

Finally, it is with great shock and sadness that I announce NIC JENSEN was the "Man of the Match" for the Highlanders. He had a great first touch and seemed to have discovered a previously untapped decision-making ability. Let's hope that it continues so that his mother can rest easy and we can all begin to forget his failed Van Wilder impersonation in Kamloops.

 

[coach]

cotract

buckman.R.F. is at the office as we speak,putting the final
negotiations in place.We hope you will come to your senses
and sign on the dotted line.

looking foward to a new ranger.
coach.

 

[Oscar Goldman]

Kaiser's quotes and Coach's notes...

quote:
Originally posted by kick_it7
The smell of confidence drifted across the hallowed grounds of J.O. Friday night or it might have been the wreched stench of the unwashed jerseys? Either way the Delta Highlanders took the field Friday night with a swagger only fit for a well aged, punch drunk fighter. The crowds had gathered waiting in eager anticipation of this classic match featuring the Highlanders and Poco. And as the poll indicates (awfully skewed by the votes of Highlander family and friends) the Highlanders came away with a well earned 1-0 victory. Both teams had their chances but Delta showed that scoring prowess that other teams can only dream of, as they were able to burry one of their 10 chances. It is that never quit attitude that drives this bunch. And the scary thing is, with a win next week the Highlanders will equal their best start in over 5 years. 2 and 0 start....dare to dream!!!



I thought that I'd place this brilliant literary piece into the thread in which it belongs. It also provides nice balance for the error filled effort produced by Coach. As I was reading Coach's post, it felt like I was stuck on a highway full of potholes with no exit to be seen. Probably shouldn't have skipped all those English classes with Mr. McGinnis and Mrs. Zwick. Having said that, congrats on your first victory. I know that everyone (BALSA!) was pulling for you .

As Kickit explained so effectively, the Highlanders began their season in fine form. Perhaps the greatest achievement was made by the field crew as they lined the pitch without so much as one marking to go by. The game was quite scrambly to say the least, though I believe the Highlanders came away with the best chances. Poco was clearly a team with talent that should come together as the season progresses. Cheers to them for selling us beer at a cheaper price than our own beer guy!

Finally, it is with great shock and sadness that I announce NIC JENSEN was the "Man of the Match" for the Highlanders. He had a great first touch and seemed to have discovered a previously untapped decision-making ability. Let's hope that it continues so that his mother can rest easy and we can all begin to forget his failed Van Wilder impersonation in Kamloops.

 

[Guinness]

Coach

Come to your senses before he signs!!!

Think about it, do you really want to be protecting a migit???


Good Luck to the Mighty Rangers of Surrey!!!


BTW, Oscar how can we forget those antics???

we can all begin to forget his failed Van Wilder impersonation in Kamloops.

I mean the kid was talking to himself at times, but he really believed there was a bird right beside him!!! Classic stuff

 

[coach]

mr goldman

you are absolutly correct,the english is shite.
But i can count the 6-0 drubbing that occured about this time
last year.Lets say it together, one,two, three,four,five ,six.
And lastly,zero.

see ya soon sunshine
coach

 

[Buckfast]

Coach,

I'll wait by the fax machine.

With that said, having the December 31st signing deadline looming, you better get the finger out. I am not trying to push Rangers' Senior Management, honestly.

But, as Johnny "Shaq" Collins, has kindly pointed out, my average height of 5'8" will leave me wanting whilst reaching for your facsimile. Time, nor height, is not on my side.

Good luck,

Tattoo "The Plane and Crossbar" Buckfast

 

[Oscar Goldman]

Coach's recent retort

Originally posted by coach
[But i can count the 6-0 drubbing that occured about this time
last year.Lets say it together, one,two, three,four,five ,six.
And lastly,zero.

see ya soon sunshine
coach [/B]

Your point is well taken. I can still here the echoes of those "classy" Rangers stomping the dressing room floor at J.O. after a resounding victory. Thankfully our group was not in complete despair as Balsa was all smiles sitting near the Rangers' dressing room door hoping someone would let him in.

With regard to Buckfast's potential signing, does that mean we would have to put Rocco in net when we play you? Perhaps we could forego the game and have these two decide the contest with a "coal-miners glove" match.


Oscar Goldman, "The World's Tallest Midget"

 

[Demolition]

Ugly

Ugly game of soccer between Geu and Langley which GEU won 1-0 on a chip shot from about 30 yards out that our keeper totally misread. Other than that neither team deserved to win this game it was just shocking (at least it was only the first game of the season).
Hopefully we will have all of our players soon instead of our 9 regulars and 5 call ups from U-21 and Div 2.
One thing about this GEU team is that these guys like to whine alot. They absolutely hate it if you go in hard against them, so all I have to say to them is welcome to Div 1, and if you guys think we go in hard to win tackles wait till yo play the rest of the teams in this division.
Good job on taking the 3 pts anyways




Maybe The Rob can fill them in on how tough it will really be

 

[Buckfast]

Oscar,

Thanks for playing along. Hopefully this will suck the Rangers' into picking me up.

That is, I'll play the "I want to play between the pipes" card, throw my inevitable temper tantrum and force them to play me in midfield. Perfect.

The midfield, I might add, is where I'll take the piss out of you (that's my touche, weak I know, but you didn' leave me much with "world's tallest midget. Bastard).

Balsa,

Once signed, I'll be able to get you into the "cool" parties. Be patient.

 

[Milhouse]

Hey what about me??

I wanna go to the "cool" parties too!!!

 

[gnu]

Not me

All i know is a party with millhouse and balsa there either ugly chicks or no chicks.

 

[Buckfast]

No Probs.

We wouldn't want you there either. You've got a face like can of smashed twats.

 

[AU Razor]

ALU RAZORBACKS 2 ALDERGROVE UNITED 2

Was not much to report other than we came out with a point was not a good game to watch Aldergrove has to get there shite together they are going to struggle this season we should have beaten them easily 3 - 0 we missed 3 breakaways we just couldn't get things going till it was to late.

 

[Rangerforever]

Weekend results

Razor:

Is Aldergrove really that weak?
I would have thought they would have had some of their premier guys back much like you guys.
Or, is it more that you lot look good?

Demo:

Are you playing on the Div. 1 team this year?
TheRumour, I mean TheRob states that GEU is going to be strong.
You don't seem to be impressed.
Interesting.

Lads: Heads up on Centro Americano.
Trust me, they like to shoot the ball.
Bit of pace, bit of skill.
They may surprise some teams this year.

Well done to the Highlanders.
Rumour is they looked very strong.
Jinx, jinx, jinx.....




Can someone help me?
I need some Aloe Vera for the back of my neck........

 

[TheRob]

Demo never had a chance. The GEU "Coach" never put him on the pitch during our only exhibition game of the summer. They guy drives all the way from Surrey, and the coach snubs him. I would have quit to.

AU,

How can you say Aldergrove looked shitty when all you could do was tie them? Maybe they're one of the better teams in the league and you lucked out with a draw. The Captain would love that "run on" sentence. It was truly a beauty.

 

[Milhouse]

What happened to Poco!

Poco United did not look or play like the team that won the Div last year.

Did their players follow Tupper to the unpromised land of Poco premier?

I'm not insulting the team we played, however, they did not play like a team that would go through a season 13-2-3 with teams like the Storm, Lions, and Thunder in their div.

Before the game I would have been happy with a draw, after the game, I was disappointed we didn't win by more!

 

[halfvolley]

Let's go 2-0 boys!

Well Poco may have not looked like they did last year but they hadn't had much time to gel before the season either. I'm happy we got that win but it could have gone either way. We finish our chances and things may have been different too. Great goal Dom!

For my fellow Highlanders lets not take Centro too lightly they sound like they have there shite together. I won't be there as I'm away and I'm not to happy about it but oh well.

Au Razor, don't be spewing out all the great lines about your team winning 3-0 and Aldergrove looking bad, its only the first game of the season. Any team has a chance this year! Still its going to be a JO classic I hope.

Go Highlanders!

 

[Skytrain]

Poco United A new team

Milhouse,

The PoCo united team is new all together. Probably only have 7 guys returning from last years squad. Most moved up or down (same can be said about all the PoCo teams this year). The team you played might have been lucky to get one practice in before the game and I believe the team was missing half their team due to other commitments and were scrambling to get things in order. Expect things to change for the better for the team this weekend.

 

[Demolition]

Re: Weekend results

Originally posted by Rangerforever



Demo:

Are you playing on the Div. 1 team this year?
TheRumour, I mean TheRob states that GEU is going to be strong.
You don't seem to be impressed.
Interesting.

Yes, I'm playing for them this year, I did go out with GEU but after the game against Alouette that was it ( TR, I did get in for the last 5 minutes of the half

Ranger, I did play with the Div 1 team most of the year, I just signed with the Div 2 team to get back in shape after dislocating my elbow last summer league and wanted ease back into playing. Not to mention It was nice playing 2 games a day in the last half of the season (now if I can only keep up my goal production from last season I'll be happy ).