Coach and Son on same Soccer team !!!!!!!

[Mal]

Though not Soccer, I think the discussion still applies to my Hockey as a youth.

My dad won the 3M Canada amateur coach of the year award one year coaching my Surrey Bantam AAA team. I grew up from the time I could walk to my first two years of organized hockey without Dad as coach. Then the two years of diabolical coaching had him frustrated and he started coaching. 9 straight years of coaching my elite, rep, superseries, winter, summer, etc teams including coaching now-NHL players was good for my dad, and he was a great coach for the parents and players. Sometimes I loved it, sometimes I hated it. i hated it that he was way harder on me than everyone else, not because he wanted too, because he needed to, to avoid the usual gossip of "Lil Johnnies only on the team because his dad is coach", he rode me, literally to the point that I considered quitting at 16 years old, that's when he stepped back and I started playing with another coach and dad just became a "gate swinger" and glorified on-the-bench cheerleader.

The good parts were that it was always separated, at least in my teenage years, of coach vs dad. It' hard though after you've had an awesome game and he lets you know it's still "not good enough"

ItS difficult to coach your own kids as its hard to seperate the father coach relationship.
Coach,s are either too hard on their own kids or totally favour them by giving them more game time than they deserve.
If a coach is coaching at select u11 /u12/u13 level and the son is only a house or bronze level player then coach should either coach at his sons level or let the kid play under another coach for the lower level team.
"Lil Johnnie would be alot happier playing at his own level "

 

[Reccos]

I have coached my kids in soccer and baseball for years. As my youngest who I coached the longest got to university age he all of a sudden didn't want to play for me any more. I had him back and had John Connor deal with him so I avoided the issues which in my mind were really not there as much as when the kids were younger.

My wife felt I was harder on my own son than others but even he admitted to her that if I wasn't that way the other players who all felt that I was too hard on him at times would have tuned me out.

Now my son is coaching his daughter and was telling me the other night why he feels his team is playing better than their talent level and he attributed that to some of the ways he works with them in training and how he has developed his team - things he learned from me as I did not have the most talented youth teams but managed to develop decent teams and compete for top spots most seasons.

I had the same experiences when I wasn't coaching being frustrated at what their coach was doing and wasn't. They were 11 and his focus on running was crazy. These kids were all running two miles at practice and not with a ball. It was nuts. I'd come back to pick him up to drive him home and the field would be empty. They'd be on another long run with the coach standing there. I was a supportive parent and would only speak quietly to my son as he came off at the half as I did not like parental coaching when I ran things. I took a team that next year.

Where my son didn't get the fairest treatment was the year I was forced to come back and coach his Pony age baseball team or he was not going to play. A number of other coaches that year weren't making the jump to Pony and we had 4 teams in our organization. I was given two other former HC's to assist me (not a problem as their boys were good players). That team (won the Burnaby championship) was loaded with pitching talent such that I could not use them all so my son went from one being my number one pitcher for years to not pitching at all. He deserved to pitch as he as good as my two assistant coaches' kids but I was too torn to use him and even had players tell me that. Where he was good was letting me know from school which pitcher the other teams didn't want to see and that'd be the guy they'd get. The problem was that all the marginal players had long dropped out by Pony.

 

[canuckboy]

Very interesting discussion. I guess the question also is what do you want your kids to get out of soccer? My dad coached me for a few years, but he was way too intense. I coach my daughter at the U-6 Level. What a blast. The girls have fun and are doing things I never thought they could. My goal for my daughter is that she enjoy the sport. Period. If you are coaching so you can get your kid a scholorship or think he/she will one day play for Canada I would suggest leaving that to professional Coaches. If you want your kid to one day play with you in the Coed League, and have fun. Coach house.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

ttp is perfect for you, it's full of wannabe experts like you and Danny Jones, let's see his involved once his kids aren't playing!

LIke I said, Humpty, WTF are you on about? I've been coaching long before my kids and will continue to do so......once again, you're making an arse of yourself.....even more than you are with the Sapperton team this year. Carry on

 

[Mr Base]

Ay guys there is tonns of good coaches that have their kids on the teams. In HPL and select it is nice to see people that do not have kids. There would be no soccer if it was not for the parents. Sure thre is some that push hard. THat is the only way kids will reach upper levels. There is nothing with out smart hard work.

 

[Dude]

One other point lost on Cloughie is a man’s priorities.

Mine, as with most parents, are:

1. Family
2. Job / Providing
3. Coaching
4. Individual stuff (i.e.: my own soccer, or other things I do outside soccer)

With some guys, #1 & #2 may interchange, but the job ahead of family is a sure way to splitting your assets in half 10 years after marriage. Not most couples dream going into marriage, though a reality for a good 50-60%.

If you are placing Coaching ahead of family priorities, you’d better be either getting paid to do it, or your kids have moved on to the point they don’t need you as a constant influence in their lives (Reecos situation).

My kids are still young, and they need their parents to be involved. That’s where my priorities lie. If that means coaching them in soccer, great. If it is another sport, that’s fine too. It is whatever is best for the relationship, not the game of soccer that matters to most parents. The benefits soccer gets from these great volunteers is gravy until the day there are an abundance of qualified professional coaches out there overseeing house level teams and up.

Cloughie has more than once accused me of chirping from the cheap seats, because he’s so selfless in his endeavor to change the game in Canada by being the FVSL Administrator. That’s fine. What guys like him don’t get is that it falls way down the priority list to get involved if your kid isn’t involved. That’s where I’m at now: heavily involved in both my kids sports on a 100% volunteer basis- just so happens only one is still involved w/ soccer. I’ll be involved w/ soccer as long as she’s in the game and still needs me. Same goes for my involvement in my sons sports. When they don’t need me anymore, chances are I’ll step away, but who knows. Maybe by then I’ll consider coaching a fun individual thing and it’ll find its way into the priority list.

Point being, Cloughie, not sure you get it, or ever will.

 

[Mal]

Very interesting discussion. I guess the question also is what do you want your kids to get out of soccer? My dad coached me for a few years, but he was way too intense. I coach my daughter at the U-6 Level. What a blast. The girls have fun and are doing things I never thought they could. My goal for my daughter is that she enjoy the sport. Period. If you are coaching so you can get your kid a scholorship or think he/she will one day play for Canada I would suggest leaving that to professional Coaches. If you want your kid to one day play with you in the Coed League, and have fun. Coach house.

Fun soccer is mostly upto u12 level playing 8 aside where players are involved in the game and get more touch,s of the ball. Playing 11 aside is a huge change which some players find hard to adapt to.
The more physical faster players find it easier.
Starting at u10 a coach should know if his " Lil Johhnie " is good enough to play select gold , silver , bronze or house.
The coach may be a top class coach but if " Lil Johhnie " is bronze he shouldn,t have to play silver or gold if dad is coach of the higher level team.
Lil Johhnie will not enjoy playing at the higher level and the other parents will say " Lil Johhnies in the team because dad is coach "

 

[bettermirror]

Excellent post.

One other point lost on Cloughie is a man’s priorities.

Mine, as with most parents, are:

1. Family
2. Job / Providing
3. Coaching
4. Individual stuff (i.e.: my own soccer, or other things I do outside soccer)

With some guys, #1 & #2 may interchange, but the job ahead of family is a sure way to splitting your assets in half 10 years after marriage. Not most couples dream going into marriage, though a reality for a good 50-60%.

If you are placing Coaching ahead of family priorities, you’d better be either getting paid to do it, or your kids have moved on to the point they don’t need you as a constant influence in their lives (Reecos situation).

My kids are still young, and they need their parents to be involved. That’s where my priorities lie. If that means coaching them in soccer, great. If it is another sport, that’s fine too. It is whatever is best for the relationship, not the game of soccer that matters to most parents. The benefits soccer gets from these great volunteers is gravy until the day there are an abundance of qualified professional coaches out there overseeing house level teams and up.

Cloughie has more than once accused me of chirping from the cheap seats, because he’s so selfless in his endeavor to change the game in Canada by being the FVSL Administrator. That’s fine. What guys like him don’t get is that it falls way down the priority list to get involved if your kid isn’t involved. That’s where I’m at now: heavily involved in both my kids sports on a 100% volunteer basis- just so happens only one is still involved w/ soccer. I’ll be involved w/ soccer as long as she’s in the game and still needs me. Same goes for my involvement in my sons sports. When they don’t need me anymore, chances are I’ll step away, but who knows. Maybe by then I’ll consider coaching a fun individual thing and it’ll find its way into the priority list.

Point being, Cloughie, not sure you get it, or ever will.

 

[Dude]

Fun soccer is mostly upto u12 level playing 8 aside where players are involved in the game and get more touch,s of the ball. Playing 11 aside is a huge change which some players find hard to adapt to.
The more physical faster players find it easier.
Starting at u10 a coach should know if his " Lil Johhnie " is good enough to play select gold , silver , bronze or house.
The coach may be a top class coach but if " Lil Johhnie " is bronze he shouldn,t have to play silver or gold if dad is coach of the higher level team.
Lil Johhnie will not enjoy playing at the higher level and the other parents will say " Lil Johhnies in the team because dad is coach "

This is a great point.

I was never a coache's kid growing up, but there were times when we teammates snickered about the coache's kid not having the chops to be on the team. It can be tough on the kid. Boys will be boys.

I was approched by Craig when my son played to run the U-10 Development team at Surrey United alongside w/ Heanjob (or rep team at the time? Can't remember...Heany? My memory is fadding.). I politely declined at the time because my son was not amongst the best 12 kids at Surrey United for his age. Was he getting better? Yes. He had been a player selected for academy- but at the time, I didn't want to place him in the situation of being the 12 best player on a development team, and taking a spot away from a better player that would otherwise merrit and want to be on the squad.

This turned into a moot point anyhow, because as stated before, his interest gravitated more towards hockey.

 

[GEORDIE]

There is so much b.shite in u11 and u12 tryouts with players getting chosen for higher levels when they should really be playing at the level their ability merits. Its unfair as these players are taking up places of better players who are forced to play at the lower level.
The selection/tryout systems needs a drastic change. Players should be moved up down within their own club/own age group .
This would give the bronze/silver players the incentive to perform better to get in to Gold teams.
The Gold players would have to keep up the high standards to avoid being moved down.

 

[Rangerforever]

And this has to do with Coaches and sons on the same team because?

Give me strength...

 

[bettermirror]

There is so much b.shite in u11 and u12 tryouts with players getting chosen for higher levels when they should really be playing at the level their ability merits. Its unfair as these players are taking up places of better players who are forced to play at the lower level.
The selection/tryout systems needs a drastic change. Players should be moved up down within their own club/own age group .
This would give the bronze/silver players the incentive to perform better to get in to Gold teams.
The Gold players would have to keep up the high standards to avoid being moved down.

The Fraser Valley district u11 league allows for this movement. It's been extremely effective. Some have moved-up. Some have moved down. Some stayed the same. All have improved or "been found out" when in a "tryout" situation that wasn't possible.

All leagues should follow this model at u11 and younger. u12 ID cards and rosters etc come into play, so until that changes it will have to be a u11 and down initiative.

 

[Regs]

Can we stay on topic?

If someone goes offtopic, don't compound the problem by continuing to further take it off topic... the people who continue to do this will eventually learn and we'll all be better for it.

That's what my dad always told me.

 

[cloughie]

LIke I said, Humpty, WTF are you on about? I've been coaching long before my kids and will continue to do so......once again, you're making an arse of yourself.....even more than you are with the Sapperton team this year. Carry on

Well said! That's me put in my place and sorted! You don't make 1 solid point ever! Just vile disgusting remarks, I guess that's your strength.

I coached my son for 5 years in Youth and have never taken a dollar to Coach (some may say maybe money not wasted by teams) but my point stands, how many are out there coaching for the fun of it and not for their own personal gain?

 

[cloughie]

Point being, Cloughie, not sure you get it, or ever will.[/QUOTE]

Really?

This is just another veiled attack om me by a wee lad from the cheap seats, it's all been said before and I'm sure your chuffed with your self effacing shite disturbing BS that you spew out regularly. If you spent half the time on community soccer you would have some positive impact. Leave the game to those that care and try not to attack those that actually step up and get involved. You may not like the results but you have the option to get involved and you don't. I do have Family, Work and Soccer in the correct order of priority and make time to Admin a league as well.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL THE VOLUNTEERS IN SOCCER!

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Well said! That's me put in my place and sorted! You don't make 1 solid point ever! Just vile disgusting remarks, I guess that's your strength.

I coached my son for 5 years in Youth and have never taken a dollar to Coach (some may say maybe money not wasted by teams) but my point stands, how many are out there coaching for the fun of it and not for their own personal gain?

Merry Christmas, Cloughie. You're right.......I will not make any more comments regarding your weight. It is out of order.

You're still a walloper though. I'm guessing that won't change any time soon? Or will it? Good luck in leading your team to a few goals in 2011......just remember the main objective at this stage of the season is to outscore the other team. You wouldn't get that sort of free information from an 'A' license coach.

 

[Dude]

Really?

This is just another veiled attack om me by a wee lad from the cheap seats, it's all been said before and I'm sure your chuffed with your self effacing shite disturbing BS that you spew out regularly. If you spent half the time on community soccer you would have some positive impact. Leave the game to those that care and try not to attack those that actually step up and get involved. You may not like the results but you have the option to get involved and you don't. I do have Family, Work and Soccer in the correct order of priority and make time to Admin a league as well.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL THE VOLUNTEERS IN SOCCER!

Too funny Cloughie. I hope Santa brought you thicker skin for Christmas.

At least you're bulletproof...

 

[Dude]

PS Cloughie, the only issue I had w/ the league this year was a bottled sign-up process. No other complaints, and a lot of compliments. But look where that one complaint got me, eh? Again, sure hope Santa brought you what you need.

 

[cloughie]

PS Cloughie, the only issue I had w/ the league this year was a bottled sign-up process. No other complaints, and a lot of compliments. But look where that one complaint got me, eh? Again, sure hope Santa brought you what you need.

1 complaint???? It's Christmas Day and your tellin porkies!?
I can't discuss the specifics but you have a nice Holiday Season and we'll see you in the New Year!
Thanks for all the compliments and even the 1 complaint!

Between you and me I think your just misunderstood!

 

[Dude]

Meh. Thought better of it. As long as one of us is bulletproof, and the other isn't, it's not in my best interest to play with you.