I don't know him but...

[Ballbaby]

Guinness,

Which sheepshagger are you referring to? Just wondering since you have changed your signature to correspond with my profile.

BallbabywhohasbeenaccusedofshaggingsheepinthepastwhenweallknowthattheScotsandtheCroatsandtheSerbsenjoythatdelicasy.

 

[Guinness]

I_Love_sheep

The wee bitch came on last night and didn't have the balls to post, but he had a right go at me via the beautiful PM system we have!!! As for your indulging in the odd fondling of those fuzzy four legged creatures that like to travel in heards, I've known about that for some time now (you being a Surrey United lad) and wasn't about to disclose any of it...


Martyspeaksquitefondlyofballbaby

 

[knvb]

Originally posted by TheRob
Unless you know for sure that someone on TTP doesn't mind if anyone knows who he/she actually is there will be no revealing of identities.

Thanks,

Your friendly moderatror, TheRob(aka: TheNob, ThRob, The BLob, blah, blah, blah.)

And KNVB,KNOB, Daft Duthchman, etc....

Cheers big ears

 

[Guinness]

Dafty

Duthchman

quite!!!

 

[Keeper]

After just going through the tail end of the "Delta Shocker" just now, I can't believe Madhandle hasn't made it anywhere in these forums.

I just can't wait to see what he going to come up with next!

 

[Fastshow]

ouch...

http://www.ananova.com/yournews/story/sm_566545.html

 

[Luch]

Top News

Superb

 

[JIM NEIGHBORS]

OH MAN!

ONE GUY WHO IS JUST ASKING , BEGGING FOR IT IN THE ASS, IS THE CHUNGER. HE HAS GOT TO BE THE BIGGEST A-HOLE THIS SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN. I'M TIRED OF ARI TOOO.

 

[SC]

"Jim Neighbors" = "Sid?"

 

[Regs]

No, it is not.

~TB.

 

[5bigtoes]

Penalty Box

Put that idiot in the Penalty Box ~Regs~, he is worthy of it.

 

[knvb]

Bastard Subway cnut.

I like to send out a big fcuk you to the arse hole in the orange of all colours, Dodge Dart who blocked me in at my local Subway. I told him in person already, but still feel like venting.

After I kindly asked him to move it he said " Not now, I'm going to order." (He was 6th in line) When I ever so politely pointed out he had time and the glaring fact that I didn't give a flying fcuk, he mumbled something in German or Pig Latin (both just as useful) and did it, but not with out giving me the triple bird as I drove away. Like it's my fault he lost the war.

I'll give the guy credit for having some balls though... and displaying them proudly I might add. I think he weighed in at a buxom 98lbs and had his sweat pants yanked up high enough to cover a nipple. They pants split his Henry Halls something fierce. I could hardly stand the sight of him.

Before you call me a Dude-where's-a-crotch-to-watch or Ron McLean, it was near impossible not to notice the camel toe this guy was sporting. If the sweats to the chest didn't call for a cause to look, the woolly sweater tucked in would have.

Shoc-king. I'll never be able to order a meatball sub again.

 

[CDK]

You made that whole story up, KNVB. Admit it.

 

[knvb]

Why would I?

I wish I could. The guy was a fcuking tit.

 

[Fastshow]

speaking of tits.......

A big fcuk off please, sir, to the soap-dodging Aussie pig-eyed sack of shite who had a pop at me this morning while waiting for my old man to arrive at King's Cross station. It's bad enough to have to be loitering about at King's Cross at 8:00 on New Year's Eve morning but to have to put up with an Antipodean bag of bollocks as well is simply cruel and unusual punishment.

While attempting to traverse the platform with the old man's pendulous and heavy kit bag in tow, I found my progress impeded by the aforementioned shower-shirker and, being a jovial and polite sort, thought I'd let the oafish twat pass first. I was also wearing a suit and, frankly, had no burning desire to have it soiled by someone for whom the word scruffy would be a compliment of the highest order. So, in hesitating for a fraction of a second, my foe decided, in his imperious wisdom to hover as well which resulted in the pair of us waiting for the other to proceed. Off he went, finally, while mumbling, 'Straight line, people,' in his cringe-worthy-fcuked-up-second-class-English-my-Grandad-nicked-chickens accent.

Was I going to allow that kind of outrageous remark to go unnoticed I hear you both ask? Like fcuk, Christmas was last week and I'm all Christianed out. 'Get it right fcuking up ya,' I eloquently suggested to which he replied, 'Are you talking to me, mate?' 'No, I'm chewing a brick,' said I. Thus came the face-off though I took care not to get too close such was the unholy pong he emitted. Maybe he had a child's lifeless body tucked away in his rucksack. Whatever it was it was noxious and wholly unappealing. 'Try fcuking walking properly you poofta', he suggested. Seeing as we'd both now discarded our handbags and had, at this stage in our stormy relationship begun to attract quite a crowd baying for blood, I took it upon myself to point out that, as he rather obviously knew nothing, he might be wise to take the sum of his knowledge and keep it to himself while fcuking off as quickly and efficiently as his impoverished intellect would allow.

Having been to Oz playing football and having enjoyed the experience and the people immensely, I can now say, based on my experiences of the last 18 months and the seething cess-pool of Antipodean inadequates who populate certain parts of London that the typical Aussie male is a fcuking top-shelf, grade-'A', prize-winning cnut.

Happy New Year to all with the exemption of Australian men who can all fcuk right off for the good of humanity.

 

[Dapotayto]

Maybe he had a child's lifeless body tucked away in his rucksack

Is that how you say 'baby in a bag' in London? My question is then, how would you say 'he had a bag of fingers' in Londish?

Seeing as we'd both now discarded our handbags

Oh, come now. Did I miss part of the story somehow?

 

[Fastshow]

prophetic........

Is that how you say 'baby in a bag' in London?

It could very well be but, seeing as I've never heard that expression before, I'm loathe to reply. Ask Jinky, I'm sure that would generate a form letter back.

how would you say 'he had a bag of fingers' in Londish?

Again, no idea. Are you speaking in code? Ballbaby, please advise. All this comes on the back (if you'll forgive the pun) of a man being arrested in Camden (not far from King's X Station) for having bits and pieces (and torsos) of three prostitutes tucked under his duvet. As you do. He was rumbled when a vagrant (or, to use the modern, PC term, hobo) found a leg while rummaging about in a skip across the road from the strange man's council flat. As far as New Year's weight-loss resolutions go I'd say finding human remains while looking for food would be up there with Rita MacNeil's new all-nude fitness video.

Oh, come now. Did I miss part of the story somehow?

Based on the rest of your post I'd go as far as saying it's more than likely, yes.

Nostradamus.

 

[Yoda]

Re: speaking of tits.......

Originally posted by Fastshow
A big fcuk off please, sir, to the soap-dodging Aussie pig-eyed sack of shite who had a pop at me this morning while waiting for my old man to arrive at King's Cross station. .................................................Happy New Year to all with the exemption of Australian men who can all fcuk right off for the good of humanity.

The moral of the story here kids is..........................Don't be polite?


What would hav happened if you both kept walking and hit each other?

 

[Rangerforever]

Fasty

Obviously Rolf Harris' rendition of "Six White Boomers" failed to make it onto the London air waves this Christmas as it's immediate memory could have swayed your opinion of the down under lot.

It's a classic quite like the "Second-Class-Grandad-Nicking-Chickens" bit.

I'm off to go waltzing with my missus Matilda now.

Take care,

RF

 

[One Dart]

On the contrary...

I think that if Fastshow had heard that garbage he would have only jumped to his conclusion about all Australian males much sooner. " Six white boomers, snow white boomers".