Best lines heard around the park

[cainy]

I can't remember wich team he was playing for at the time, Firemen, or inter me thinks. Sal Guicione (sp) whom has a rather large nose was moaning all game long. Finally I couldn't take it anymore when he lost his nut after being called offside, (which he clearly was).The shout was "shut up Gonzo, you were offside by a nose"

 

[Skip]

Finally I couldn't take it anymore when he lost his nut after being called offside, (which he clearly was).The shout was "shut up Gonzo, you were offside by a nose"

Jimmy's a funny guy!

 

[kokanee]

We have a book that we have been writing in that describes the lines that we have been hearing from specators, players and just sayings that have gone around throughout our practices.

One of the classics lines is when we went to England about 8 years ago, we were playing a team from Ireland, and two other Ireland teams came charging on the field at us. We had a bunch of our dads holding Ireland spectators and players from three Ireland teams. Then one of our players dad screams out, "kill the little Irish bastards," in a drunken rum/coke/indocanadian accent.

 

[downtown]

Ranger training session 5 years ago....

Rangerforever to best friend Bear during Tuesday scrimmage after his side lost the 2 beer bet per player:
RF, "Fcuk you Bear, you stacked your team when you picked them"
Bear, "Stop your constant whining and buy the beer"
RF, "You big cheater, its just like grade 10 basketball - you' ll never change!"

Not one pisstake involved, RF was dead serious and went home in a huff.....or should I say puff

Both lads were 33 years old....still have not changed a bit

 

[Dude]

Skip: LFC2 to me a short while back after a particularily hard run to the corner that had me looking for the lost lung: "Does Jimmy need a sub?"

 

[sid]

Dave Corr"that little chinaman from poco northside I a great little player,who is he?"

david skelton(the chinaman)"I am not chinese ...I am engerlish"

sid

another one

Dane skelton at the sechelt native tourney"are you guys the A team or the reserve team!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[STD]

While we are on the topic of Skelton we have to put this one out there.

Skelton senior who was coaching at the time says to his proud son Dave:
"not only are you a disapointment as a son but as a soccer player as well"

I wasn't there so perhaps Draven can confirm that I got the quote correct.

 

[crafty cokcney]

Summer game for Delta about 6 years ago.


Our right back stepping up the backline and calling an offside on a striker coming in....

Defender to the Referee :.." How is he..?"

Referee to Defender:..." Bloody marvelous.!"




Cheers

 

[BlazeArmy]

The referee of my kids game this weekend. 2nd half.

(he was late and had linestoddlers do card checks etc)

Group of people on the sideline and he is getting a bit of grief after letting a third handball in the box go for the home team.

" Coach,(he doesn't know who coach is) I'd like to you to get your parents under control"

" They're under control, It's me your driving absolutely fcuking crazy"

"yah, well I'd rather be watching the Grey Cup and your bunch are no goddamn Arsenal to watch either"

He runs back to the centre circle.

I was speechless.

 

[kokanee]

Last year against PAU

Painkiller and Me before the game: "oh my god, we are playing soccer against Justin Timberlake"

During the Game, Guiness screams after a tackle from me "Ref, that was a fukcin foul"

Me: "Calm down Justin"

Guiness: What the **** did you say"

Painkiller: "Go cry me a river"

 

[Sage]

Last year against PAU

Painkiller and Me before the game: "oh my god, we are playing soccer against Justin Timberlake"

During the Game, Guiness screams after a tackle from me "Ref, that was a fukcin foul"

Me: "Calm down Justin"

Guiness: What the **** did you say"

Painkiller: "Go cry me a river"

That was kinda funny actually

 

[Sage]

I don't know if these qualify as "shouts on the pitch", but we've had some coaches at Surrey U with some quality coaching advice during games:

Randy: "Get the baaaaaaall white"

Cainy Sr. : " Watch the spiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!"

Some Dutch guy: " We play total foooootball, lets play total fooooootball"


Ahhh, the good ol' days

 

[Sage]

Almost forgot...

Some new kid (can't remember his nationality) just joins Surrey U... coach asks him what position he plays:

"I lyke skaor gols"

And who can forget Wilson "three-times" Okike during games:

"I'm he-re, I'm he-re, I'm he-re.... ball, ball, ball"


Gettingatearinmyeyethinkingoftheolddays

 

[studsup]

MF pre game speech in the surrey united 90's era

I don't care who you fcucked last night, how the canucks did, get your fcuckin heads into this game or their gonna kick your asses all over the park!!!

 

[Sage]

MF pre game speech in the surrey united 90's era

I don't care who you fcucked last night, how the canucks did, get your fcuckin heads into this game or their gonna kick your asses all over the park!!!

You're not doing the speech any justice. Allow me to fill in some parts:

" Listen up boys... I know you were out at the bar last night, I called all of you and nobody was answering the phone. Now, stop talking about the Roxy, I don't want to hear who you shagged last night, what the Canucks game was like or how many times Zoly threw up. Now, these guys are younger, fitter, faster and better than you lot... you guys think you're good? These guys are gonna run all over you! The ref told me that he was at the pub last night, and he overheard them say they're gonna spank us today! So you better be ready, this is the biggest game of the year"

 

[guru]

Two guys in the shower after the game:
Quit looking at my hard on you fag!

You know who you are!

 

[Guinness]

Originally posted by Kokanee

During the Game, Guiness screams after a tackle from me "Ref, that was a fukcin foul"

You got into a tackle and won??? Now that is a pisstake!!!


1998: 5 minutes before a UBC training session

Across the pitch some Asian lad is kicking a ball into one of our nets... He is fully geared in the France Nation kit and doing lunges and such stretches after each shot... Blair Manifold turns to the lads and says:
BM - "Mosh got us a new striker on exchange from the Tiawan National side"
Lads - "Really?"
BM - "Look over there in the French kit"
Lads - Laughing at the state of him.
BM - "His name is Bang one in"


Classic!!!

 

[knvb]

I guess you had to be there.

 

[Dude]

Last week playing against Poco Cat. The Poco boys have a new nickname for Luis Ramirez: Taco (we used to call him Piñata at SFC). Luis is in fine Poco form, and carrying an extra 10 lbs or so.

MB: "Looks more like a burrito..."

 

[knvb]

Fcuking hell man... any more arse sniffing and LFC2 is going to get Duderhoids...