West Coast League 2003/2004

[Scottyshell]

Letdown

Okay you called me out....A typical FF game,as in the last three weeks.First off,venue change...couple guys didn't call our team line and didn't make the game or were late.We had to line the park put up nets(no biggie)change in a change room with no lights(caretaker refused)so warm up was a 2 min run back and forth across the park.So as you might guess we quickly gave up two goals inside of 10 min..Nice hole we dug ourselves.To our credit we fought back and they never really threatened again for the rest of the game.We did hit the post,crossbar,goalie and their
players with shots but only managed to put one past from a corner.Here's one for all you TTPers....how does a ref call a direct free kick just outside the box when the foul happens inside???Marty E. was taken down from behind coming back for the ball from midfield,now his back is to the goal and as he pushes himself back up from the ground his knees are still at least a foot inside the box?So how does the ref make this call???Who pushes themself backwards on the ground so they might end up in the box??Right..nobody!Coward!Anyway,what Columbus thought was going to be a cake walk turned out to be a battle to keep from tieing even losing the game.So there you go Peter,about time the rest of the league takes up the slack and kicks these guys too!Cheers!

 

[futbol]

Scooty, did you win today or not? How many sitters did you miss today? Plonker!!! Don't you have kitchens to renovate. Stay off this site man and get your work done! The ammalgomation is off since the valley F.F. team is far superior. Time for over 40's or maybe 50's.

 

[peter]

Columbus goes down...

Westside 3-1 Columbus

Never really in doubt as Columbus showed up shortstaffed (and arrogant as ever). We were up 2 at the half, they scored a goal that was, no kidding, 15 feet offside but then we put it on ice with a late one just before the final whistle.

Goal scorers were Bob Heseltine, Ian Young and Guy Leslie for us and I think Angus got their's. Their big guy took a red (which probably could have been a yellow) and then the ref got card-happy handing out yellows for fouls he wasn't even calling in the first half.

Now we have to do it again next week at their park. I think we could still win the league but we would have to win the rest of our games and Columbus would have to drop another point or two to other teams besides us.

 

[trece verde]

Peter

Thanks, Buddy; now I've got something to slag Vic and Ivano about at the coaches' party on Thursday ("you lost to WHO?....")

No game for us as Queens Park East Mud Pit appears to be a write-off for the rest of the year.

Your B team (Dawgs) lost another one to the Cliff Ave boys 1-0 on the turf - got 2 (!!?) messages from Jason about how shite they were...could be the Burnaby boys make it for promotion after all...

Hey Futbol - go back and play with your sheep

Beerz,

Stew

 

[Scottyshell]

Two Headed Futbol

Well well well,look what the dog dragged in!A two-headed Futbol...one who leads,the other follows...trouble is neither can decide who's doing what.One is early thirties with a fifty year old body and getting a little shiny on top,the other one plays for the Second best team in the FF organization and is a very good puppetmaster.Now why two guys have to go under one name to do their slagging is anyone's guess.All I can say is you two better find something else to do while at work if that's the best piss you've got.

Cheers

ps:who wants to play in the valley where there are only three teams worth playing

 

[Ballbaby]

ps:who wants to play in the valley where there are only three teams worth playing

Scottyshell, you forgot the question mark. Thought I should point it out cuz us Valley guys need as much help as we can get trying to understand the very articulate posts from the Westcoast thread.

TheenigmaofthevalleyguysistheEinsteinbraininanOzarkhead!

 

[Scottyshell]

No Question

Dear Baldbaby (oops my mistake)Ballingbaby,
There was no question mark needed as it was a statement not a question.Just be happy you're on one of those teams.Didn't realize you valley boys even ventured into our threads never mind the city.I partied with the Valley FF's team last Fri...their looking forward to playing you and your boys again.Maybe a new record for cards?Have fun

Cheers!

 

[Ballbaby]

Maybe a new record for cards?

You wish. What is the record PottySmell?

 

[Ballbaby]

Pottysmell,

Let's see how fast you Westcoast lot are. Try this little game.


Vancouver F/F's training test

 

[trece verde]

Ballz:

You stayed up all night for THAT? If that's what the Valley teams are using for "speed tests" our lot have absolutely nothing to be afraid of... After noticing when you posted it, you must have spent quite a few hours trying to catch that worm.... - I'll bet that the Toes and his inchoate buddy BullyB are still trying to figure this one out

Good luck.....

Stew

 

[Ballbaby]

Stew,

I was up all night reading a book, Seabiscuit to be exact, and was about to go to bed. I turn the puter to standbye and I always check TTP to see who is just getting back from the bars or from a long training session. Usually, that's when you'll find the Westcoast oldtimers like ScottyShell posting.

You know the story Stew; the drive home in a very cold vehicle just warming up as you pull into the driveway. Then you fumble for the keys and attempt to open the door. The keys keep falling out of your hands. Finally, you open the door, an all of a sudden especially squeaky loud door, and you throw your wet bag into a corner. You're feeling really good and you bend down to take off your shoes and you almost fall forward onto your face. Of course this is because you are stiff. The jacket comes off and you venture into the kitchen. All the lights are off of course, so like a familiar old song, you flick the succession of lights until you feel you can see adequately. Finally you reach the refrigerator. Yummy! You notice what the family ate tonight without you. Should you grab a slab of meatloaf at this hideous time of night? It depends who you play for. If you are a Westcoast Vancouver FF team member like ScottyShell, you do. If you are Ballbaby from the Valley, you don't. BUT whether you play in the Valley League or the Westcoast League, you notice the tempting bottle of beer. The ultimate question; Should I have that beer? Do I need that beer? Oldtimers we are and do you think we learn? We grab that beer and head toward he computer, click on TP, take a swig of that beer, and feeling especially clever, start writing a post.

You know the story Stew.

 

[Scottyshell]

Storytime

That was a real nice story you told us of how you make it home after practice...trouble is most of your posts are done during the day aren't they?So are you in the same state then?More than likely if you keep insisting the valley is a better place to play than the city.Give your head a shake.Later!

 

[futbol]

To Stew...Pid. Just trying for a nibble, you didn't have to take a whole bite.... Plumber! To Scootygas, I will see the Iceman tonight (circa:1990) and the great Captain M., and together we will promote good will to all men....... yada, yada, yada. See ya in the land of greatness.

 

[trece verde]

futbol

Sounds like you've taken a few too many balls off your chin, cabron. Don't slag Scotty too hard; his game's been cancelled, so he might just show up at yours to laugh at your expense.

Ballz: Yes, I think anybody who's ever played adult ball has lived that story at least once, although thankfully mine doesn't involve having to be satisfied with meatloaf - there's normally better things in the fridge. Thus, the choice is not a choice - one grabs the leftovers, and whilst they're reheating in the nuke, takes and opens the beer anyway. TTP isn't the first thing on the agenda; that would normally be the 200+ email messages I get every day. Then on comes Sportsdesk or any other sports show that I can stomach, and then TTP. This of course happens at least twice a week - my practices follow those of Thing 1 (Tuesdays) and Thing 2 (Thursdays)...

Then again, there are those for whom a more realistic version would be like this...

Freeze yer wet soaking arse off out on the pitch during practice, then make the situation worse by standing around for 5 or 6 tins afterward. Kick yourself for numbing your hands because you forgot your beer sleeve, then get in your car. Drive home in your cleats because you can't move your fingers well enough to untie them, and crank the car heater up full bore to thaw yourself out. Get home; barely miss scraping the neighbour's vehicle on the way in.

Slosh your way to the front door, where of course your Missus has already turned the lights out and given up waiting for you. Drop your keys at the front door and have to put your bag down to pick them up. Fumble around until you find the right key, and then fumble some more with a front door lock you can't see.

Open the front door with that same surprisingly loud creak and an even more surprisingly loud thump as it bounces off the wall behind. Lean over to pick up the bag you had previously put down, then step forward, and trip over the cat/dog that has snuck under your feet in the meantime. Of course, the bag you've just picked up gets dropped again - on top of that stupid potted plant that your wife insists belongs in the front hallway because it gives it "ambience," knocking it over and dumping the dirt all over the hallway. Since you're still doing all of this in the dark, fumble down the hallway for the lightswitch, and once again trip over your bag in the dark. Finally turn the hall light on and survey the damage, thankful (you think) that the wife sleeps like a log, but she's really now wide awake and waiting for you upstairs.

Extricate yourself from 5 layers of wet clothing and soggy cleats, and finally dig the dry stuff out of your bag that, had you had enough sense, you would have changed into when you first got into your car. Do the fridge check, and again, while you're waiting for the nuke, come to your senses enough to dump your wet stuff into the laundry room (usually on the floor) and put the damned plant back to rights. Since it won't stand upright of its own accord anymore, prop it up against the wall and dump as much of the dirt on the floor back into the pot as you can grab with your hands while still holding a beer. Suddenly realize that you've got a burning urge to take a slash and bounce off the wall into the bathroom. Take care of business (beer still in hand), and head back to the kitchen because of the conniption fit that the nuke is having. Grab dinner, and realize that your beer is now empty and you need another one.

Park yourself on the couch with new beer, dinner, and sports show of your choice (by now, you don't even care if it's wrestling ) Finish dinner and beer and get comfortable on couch, and eventually doze off. Wake up with a start during a loud commercial and realize that there's a really annoying infomercial on, so you go over to the computer and log on to TTP and look for a "catch the worm" website and try to think of something witty to say. Post it and realize that it's after 1 in the morning, and that what you've just written makes absolutely no sense at all, but you're too tired to edit it, and you've got to be back in the shop at 7, so you sneak up the stairs and slide (hopefully) into bed. Hopefully, the wife has gotten tired of waiting for you to come upstairs so she can give you several pieces of her mind, and fallen back asleep. Snore. Repeat.

Sound more realistic than "I was reading Seabiscuit?" Thought so.... I mean really, how many horses have you come across who could write? Gotta admit though, there was this girl I used to work with who we called Seabiscuit.....

WCOTSL cancelled games:

Firefighters vs Club Inter
Total Marine Celtic vs FC Sierra
PAOK vs Paddlewheeler
PoCo Blues vs Covercrete
Coquitlam Ajax vs SFU Rangers
Canterbury vs New West Reds

Beers,

Stew

disclaimer - the events described above are entirely speculative and have never happened to me, at least in as much as I can remember.

 

[Ballbaby]

Ok Stew, that was a very familiar tale but we better make one thing perfectly clear to the swarms of people who read our threads; alcohol has no bearing as to the actions you describe but merely the exhausting effort we emit during our training sessions. If alcohol has it's effect, it is in stealth mode until we reach the doorstep of our humble abodes.

That comment regarding driving home with our cleats on because we are too cold, wet, and tired to untie our shoes is too funny.
Think about how ridiculous we look. I just recently resorted to this tactic.

Beautiful post Stew.

 

[peter]

Westside/Columbus: Cancelled due to a wank from the Burnaby Parks Board who said we didn't have a permit to play at Wesburn, even though the U-11 girls (who supposedly had the permit) didn't show.

So, the Columbus boys passed around my comments from last week to stoke the fire for the rematch. One of them must have a smart kid who stumbled onto the site or something.

Carlos' comment about the arrogance was priceless: "when you've won as much as we have you deserve it" (or something to that effect). It would be nice to have a few new posters in here boys...any retorts?

 

[Scottyshell]

Chatter

Hey Peter,you honestly think one of those Columbus lads knows how to use a computer let alone come to this site and do some posing..I mean posting.To bad about your game but you're probably better off as Wesburn is to small and those ball diamonds in each corner are a pain.

Cheers!

ps:Their home game wasn't it...shouldn't they have checked to make sure they could use the park?

 

[peter]

Scotty,

Thus the quip about one of their kids finding the site--and you would have to wonder about who might have sired such a kid as well I would think.

The game was rescheduled for Wesburn about Wednesday from Central when it was noticed the O-40's league had a game booked there. President Carlos claims the WCOTSL does have a permit for Wesburn and the Burnaby Parks guy was wrong...who knows. It's probably for the best as we were missing some key guys and Merkl has a pulled groin and wasn't going to be doing any kicking.

What's up with you guys? Have you been getting forgetful in your old age, leaving a few points on the pitch lately?

 

[Scottyshell]

What's up

Stew,
What's up with the wcotsl web page???It's been down the last two days.How come our game has been moved again?We've played more games than everyone else.I'll bet there's no lines on that park again..no lights in the change room..lucky if the hot water is even turned on.And what if we do play this game...it leaves us with two league games left..so then we sit around and wait for league cup play.What's the matter with No games scheduled unless your TWO games behind.(Columbus).Just a thought!

Peter,
As for the last four weeks,our play has resembled the Canucknuckleheads.Taking teams for granted,not scoring on easy chances,no bounce luck around the net,teams playing like Minnesota Wild,not enough players,injuries,flu,you name it then pick it,that's been us.What can I say?

cheers!

 

[trece verde]

Scotty:

Stop whining!!!

You sound like my Grandfather did.... "no hot water" "no lines"

Our ISP moved shop last weekend, and apparently their fibre was down until yesterday afternoon #$%@$%@#!!! Everything's back up now....

Sounds like you need to talk to Searsy about getting a better field allotment. Nothing wrong with Adanac when it's dry, but it's no fun in a swamp....Best thing I would suggest is to get some exhibitions in while you're waiting (although I think we'll ALL be waiting for better weather to play in in January).

Beers,

Stew