Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings, 2007-2008

[Sir M]

Moneyman, good win against the Mighty All Blacks (and excellent poetry by the way). You may have noticed that there were no rankings posted this last week. The reason is, staff are struggling with all of the permutations, matrices, and variables that must be considered with each week's rankings. And, truth be told, our technical capabilities are a bit outdated, and our IT department I am told listen to a lot of Bob Marley and smoke alot, and have all gone to visit Randy in Tofino for a canoeing trip (full on, they are wearing beaver hats and those suede looking jackets with tassels, kind of like Pierre Elliot Trudeau, but severely laid back).

In any event,

A generous donation which would be directly applied to SMEPR software from an anonymous party would greatly help staff in expediting these rankings. It is, especially this time of year, better to give than to receive. And, as a result, one never knows who will be ranked and who won't.

Just a thought.

 

[steve1234]

Richmond United found a nice bottle of single malt at the side of the field last night after our win. T-idiot suggested since none of us drink that his good friend and post buddie Sir M might like it. More like a hardware upgrade.

 

[dickens_cider]

Richmond United found a nice bottle of single malt at the side of the field last night after our win. T-idiot suggested since none of us drink that his good friend and post buddie Sir M might like it. More like a hardware upgrade.

T Idiot sounds like a good scottish Lad.... ok enough about RF in elemtery school.

 

[steve1234]

T Idiot sounds like a good scottish Lad.... ok enough about RF in elemtery school.

Nice one! How is elemtery school

 

[Sir M]

Note the time of Dickens' post Steve...

 

[T-Idiot]

Steve posted his comment while in elemtery school ..

 

[Sir M]

Well, the Christmas break is upon us. On behalf of all Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings staff, I would like to extend a warm Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays greeting to the thousands of rankings fans out there. Staff, which has a sampling of representative faiths, ranging from our Jewish members who are verklempt over WVFC's misfortunes (and by the way never buy retail) to our Catholic members, who feel guilty, but of course love their faith because they can just ask and be forgiven, to our Anglican members, who are married, but just are not fanatics about it. Then there is our lone Buddhist member Felix, who is currently doing laps of Queen Elizabeth Park in his leotards, repeatedly yelling "leave it!"

In any event, it is now time for the 2007 holiday edition of:


Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:

1. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 1). Columbus beat Metro Ford 5-0 and followed it up with an 8-0 thrashing of Cracovia. This team is away to Firemen next and have basically clinched their side.

2. S.F.C. Rangers (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 2). This team beat the All Blacks 2-0, followed by no game this week. Staff report that Coach is gutted over the FA's England coaching selection. But they also report that he will be liquidly soothing his disappointment, and will be seeking comfort in the Christmas bosom of RF this Thursday at the Langley Shark Club.

3. Westside F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 6). Westside are up three big spots after their impressive win over West Van today (they were postponed last week). This is a much different side than last year, and they like to share, which really is important this time of year. Away to Cliff in a MOTW in the new year.

4. Cliff Ave. United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 3). Did not play, and did not play. Dickens apparently has an excellent Christmas photo of himself, JAGS and the quite tall Cliff goaltender. Perhaps he could share that with us. Westside would.

5. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 4). Another side that had, much like Sir M's first wedding, back to back postponements. They are one of several sides involved in a dogfight for the B side VMSL title. Wickham next.

6. Sapperton Rovers (VMSL. Last week’s rank:7). Up another spot after no game, and then their defeat of Wickham this morning. Away to WV next, in a game where they have a chance to win, lose, or perhaps draw.

7. West Van F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 5). Did not play last week, but due to players choosing to go to Whistler, kiss up, assume the game was cancelled, go to a piano recital, relax on the couch hungover, borrow other team mates bathing suits, date a peeler (the latter being an excellent excuse by the way) they lost to a 20 man Westside today. Home to Sapp next.

8. ICSF Inter (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 10). This team did not play last week, but hammered Metro Ford this weekend. Away to Cracovia next, in a game where anything less than three points would be disappointing.

9. Portuguese Club of Vancouver (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 8). Ok this is a bit weird. Staff may have been into the rum and eggnogs a bit early, as this side, after being idle last week, and then beating the Firefighters on Friday are actually down one spot. Sir M will be conducting a thorough investigation into this SCP.

10. Delta Metro United (FVSL. Last week's rank: 9). Defeated Sikh last week, and did not play this last weekend. Drop one. Sounds like Pipes on Friday night.

11. Peace Arch United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 11). This side hasn't played since Skanky CDMTC Blonde was a brunette. Staff report that their side will be expanding over the holidays.

12. Aldergrove United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 17). Up big time after thrashing their rural neighbours Abbotsford in an all Doukhabour match which featured many (nine) goals, as well as nudity, unshaved underarms, and of course, arson. It was a real barnburner, staff report.

13. Wickham FC (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 12). Down a spot after their loss today to Sapperton. Will have to pull a rabbit out of their hat (or transfer to side "A") to avoid relegation.

14. Vancouver Firefighters (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 14). They beat Cracovia, and then lost to PCOV. Staff report that there is no need to panic: this team will be there come the BCs.

15. GEU Thunder (FVSL. Last week's rank: not ranked). Back in these rankings after sending Langley home with their collective mighty black tails between their legs. Should be a festive Christmas up at the Moneyman property.

16. Richmond United (VMSL. Last week's rank: 18). This side is thus far dominating the VMSL Div. 1 Masters, and continue to do so after their win this weekend over the team with the best name in Master's football: the 22nd Avenue Lions. Up two despite Steve1234 being annoying.

17. Coveside FC (NSCL. Last week's rank: 16). As a NSCL team, they did not play, and they did not play. They too are expected to expand over the holidays.

18. Langley All Blacks (FVSL. Last week's rank: 15). Down three spots after their loss to GEU this weekend. Staff report good news for this side post holiday season: black is quite slimming.

19. Coquitlam Metro Ford Wolves (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 13). This team has taken it on the chin the last two weeks. They need a break.

20. Nordic FC (NSCL. Last week's rank: 19). Another team that has not played since Anti Fan had a full set of teeth. Staff report that they are all recovering from Ted's Christmas Hungarian home made liquor.

So there you go for this week. A special thank-you to our anonymous benefactor who has donated some new software to enable myself, and of course staff, to bring you the SMEPRankings for the first time on a Sunday evening: despite the fact that Sir M spent the afternoon (after 10 players no showing today) in a warm bath, smoking a cigar, and listening to Dark Side of the Moon.

But enough of that. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.

Seriously.

 

[steve1234]

Well, the Christmas break is upon us. On behalf of all Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings staff, I would like to extend a warm Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays greeting to the thousands of rankings fans out there. Staff, which has a sampling of representative faiths, ranging from our Jewish members who are verklempt over WVFC's misfortunes (and by the way never buy retail) to our Catholic members, who feel guilty, but of course love their faith because they can just ask and be forgiven, to our Anglican members, who are married, but just are not fanatics about it. Then there is our lone Buddhist member Felix, who is currently doing laps of Queen Elizabeth Park in his leotards, repeatedly yelling "leave it!"

In any event, it is now time for the 2007 holiday edition of:


Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:

1. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 1). Columbus beat Metro Ford 5-0 and followed it up with an 8-0 thrashing of Cracovia. This team is away to Firemen next and have basically clinched their side.

2. S.F.C. Rangers (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 2). This team beat the All Blacks 2-0, followed by no game this week. Staff report that Coach is gutted over the FA's England coaching selection. But they also report that he will be liquidly soothing his disappointment, and will be seeking comfort in the Christmas bosom of RF this Thursday at the Langley Shark Club.

3. Westside F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 6). Westside are up three big spots after their impressive win over West Van today (they were postponed last week). This is a much different side than last year, and they like to share, which really is important this time of year. Away to Cliff in a MOTW in the new year.

4. Cliff Ave. United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 3). Did not play, and did not play. Dickens apparently has an excellent Christmas photo of himself, JAGS and the quite tall Cliff goaltender. Perhaps he could share that with us. Westside would.

5. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 4). Another side that had, much like Sir M's first wedding, back to back postponements. They are one of several sides involved in a dogfight for the B side VMSL title. Wickham next.

6. Sapperton Rovers (VMSL. Last week’s rank:7). Up another spot after no game, and then their defeat of Wickham this morning. Away to WV next, in a game where they have a chance to win, lose, or perhaps draw.

7. West Van F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 5). Did not play last week, but due to players choosing to go to Whistler, kiss up, assume the game was cancelled, go to a piano recital, relax on the couch hungover, borrow other team mates bathing suits, shag a peeler (the latter being an excellent excuse by the way) they lost to a 20 man Westside today. Home to Sapp next.

8. ICSF Inter (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 10). This team did not play last week, but hammered Metro Ford this weekend. Away to Cracovia next, in a game where anything less than three points would be disappointing.

9. Portuguese Club of Vancouver (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 8). Ok this is a bit weird. Staff may have been into the rum and eggnogs a bit early, as this side, after being idle last week, and then beating the Firefighters on Friday are actually down one spot. Sir M will be conducting a thorough investigation into this SCP.

10. Delta Metro United (FVSL. Last week's rank: 9). Defeated Sikh last week, and did not play this last weekend. Drop one. Sounds like Pipes on Friday night.

11. Peace Arch United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 11). This side hasn't played since Skanky CDMTC Blonde was a brunette. Staff report that their side will be expanding over the holidays.

12. Aldergrove United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 17). Up big time after thrashing their rural neighbours Abbotsford in an all Doukhabour match which featured many (nine) goals, as well as nudity, unshaved underarms, and of course, arson. It was a real barnburner, staff report.

13. Wickham FC (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 12). Down a spot after their loss today to Sapperton. Will have to pull a rabbit out of their hat (or transfer to side "A") to avoid relegation.

14. Vancouver Firefighters (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 14). They beat Cracovia, and then lost to PCOV. Staff report that there is no need to panic: this team will be there come the BCs.

15. GEU Thunder (FVSL. Last week's rank: not ranked). Back in these rankings after sending Langley home with their collective mighty black tails between their legs. Should be a festive Christmas up at the Moneyman property.

16. Richmond United (VMSL. Last week's rank: 18). This side is thus far dominating the VMSL Div. 1 Masters, and continue to do so after their win this weekend over the team with the best name in Master's football: the 22nd Avenue Lions. Up two despite Steve1234 being annoying.

17. Coveside FC (NSCL. Last week's rank: 16). As a NSCL team, they did not play, and they did not play. They too are expected to expand over the holidays.

18. Langley All Blacks (FVSL. Last week's rank: 15). Down three spots after their loss to GEU this weekend. Staff report good news for this side post holiday season: black is quite slimming.

19. Coquitlam Metro Ford Wolves (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 13). This team has taken it on the chin the last two weeks. They need a break.

20. Nordic FC (NSCL. Last week's rank: 19). Another team that has not played since Anti Fan had a full set of teeth. Staff report that they are all recovering from Ted's Christmas Hungarian home made liquor.

So there you go for this week. A special thank-you to our anonymous benefactor who has donated some new software to enable myself, and of course staff, to bring you the SMEPRankings for the first time on a Sunday evening: despite the fact that Sir M spent the afternoon (after 10 players no showing today) in a warm bath, smoking a cigar, and listening to Dark Side of the Moon.

But enough of that. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.

Seriously.

We just lost that single malt.

 

[T-Idiot]

"We just lost that single malt."

Steve1234 was it tasty or are you saving it for Curling on Saturday

Sir M and staff - as always a fun read

 

[JAGS]

4. Cliff Ave. United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 3). Did not play, and did not play. Dickens apparently has an excellent Christmas photo of himself, JAGS and the quite tall Cliff goaltender. Perhaps he could share that with us. Westside would.

Dickens and I made our annual sojourn out to the Langley equivalent of Commercial Drive (whole lot of cappucino bars, procuitto shops, pasta retailers and bold tasting wine outlets, but enough about Jua's basement) to share a Christmas glass (okay, we had about 6 bottles of wine) with our favorite Italian over 6'5", Big M. For the record, Jua is our favorite Italian between 5'6" - 6'5", and Spada takes the gold for those under 5'6" ..... sorry to Cliff's other goalie, Gidio but Spada has owned this honor for years.

Dickens and I donned our retro 1970's Scotland kit to proudly wear in the presence of Big M (would have been way more of a piss take if Scotland actually beat Italy, cheating bastards). We were greeted at the door by Big M, who subsequently tripped (it was clearly a dive, and obviously he is a well trained Italian) when he saw two Scots at his door and looked to the direction of Miro The Ref (he drove, as he has been living in Sir M's spare room for the last 6 months, and is the new Team Chauffeur as the Walk of Shame to Langley is just a touch too far) for a yellow and a PK. Obviously, it was given and I think all three of us received a booking. That is Dickens 3rd yellow of the year, so is suspended for our next match (one can only hope). After about 3 hours of indoor PK's against the Big Cliff goalie (empty wine bottles used as posts and some ankle tape wrapped up around the corks to be the ball), we convinced Big M to fire on the Cliff banana top goaltender jersey for a Christmas picture. Probably one of the better pictures of him in a while ...............

Thanks for the Christmas Cheer Big M. Too bad Conductor could not make it, as we could have played 2 v. 2 around your kitchen island.

Safe and Happy Holidays to All!!!!

JAGS

 

[moneyman]

Well the Lordship Sir M cheers and have a Merry Christmas, I'll do my best to see that we continue climbing in the rankings just ask Phatanslow, when money talks people listen.


$$$MANMAXIMUS

 

[Rangerforever]

Indeed, excellent as usual MBE and Merry Christmas to you and your staff.

All-Doukhabour match....

Cheers,
RF

 

[Rangerforever]

Jags:
That is brilliant!

Any chance you could get a 3rd retro kit in XXXL?
Awesome...

You and Dickens make like stylin bookends there.

 

[Lupoman]

Nice picture....just wondering if dickens hair cut is also 70's retro and what size bowl he used!

lupoman

 

[dickens_cider]

Nice picture....just wondering if dickens hair cut is also 70's retro and what size bowl he used!

lupoman

Mrs Lupoman likes to run her fingers through it, she said something about hair dye staining her fingers when she tries that at home with her other half.

 

[AntiFan]

Sir M... I took in a few Masters game this week. I have been noticing that each year in this league, the players seem to be getting larger and larger. Do you think that there could be a Steroid problem rearing its ugly head in Masters Football? This is looking like a league wide problem

 

[moneyman]

Sir M... I took in a few Masters game this week. I have been noticing that each year in this league, the players seem to be getting larger and larger. Do you think that there could be a Steroid problem rearing its ugly head in Masters Football? This is looking like a league wide problem

I think Rangerforever might say that it isn't that the players are getting larger, it's that teams are buying cheap China knockoffs for the uniforms. Hence the shrinkage factor in the dryer. What is the matter with a linebacker having the deft touch football skills of a wee man. Why be punished for being a full meal deal, not a child size Happy meal.


$$$MAN

 

[dickens_cider]

I think Rangerforever might say that it isn't that the players are getting larger, it's that teams are buying cheap China knockoffs for the uniforms. Hence the shrinkage factor in the dryer. What is the matter with a linebacker having the deft touch football skills of a wee man. Why be punished for being a full meal deal, not a child size Happy meal.


$$

haha! that is very true $$man. Although you look at the size of RF when he was just a young rookie compared to now, it makes you wonder.....could he be the Barry(not Parno) Bonds of FVSL. The success he is having in the later years of his career makes you wonder

 

[Rangerforever]

This is looking like a league wide problem

When I read this in particular I knew it was a set up...

And what the fcuk is it with those 'Made in China' fcuking unforms by the way?
I'll need to act out 'Peg Like' and refuse to wear those Sportira kits.
Don't tell me out of excess 1 billion people no one there wears a fcuking XXL?
"Um, sorry Frase, but because it's a factory order out of Bejing we can't get XXL..."
And don't get me started about the 'You actually look more like a Rugby player' bullshit...
Which I am anyway - Fcuking brilliant by the way.
Keep your head up.

I'll need to take a page out of your book MM and buy new ones.


Yes, the success is overwhelming.
I find at 41 its just coming together for me.
Just get it to my feet baby...

 

[steve1234]

When I read this in particular I knew it was a set up...

And what the fcuk is it with those 'Made in China' fcuking unforms by the way?
I'll need to act out 'Peg Like' and refuse to wear those Sportira kits.
Don't tell me out of excess 1 billion people no one there wears a fcuking XXL?
"Um, sorry Frase, but because it's a factory order out of Bejing we can't get XXL..."
And don't get me started about the 'You actually look more like a Rugby player' bullshit...
Which I am anyway - Fcuking brilliant by the way.
Keep your head up.

I'll need to take a page out of your book MM and buy new ones.


Yes, the success is overwhelming.
I find at 41 its just coming together for me.
Just get it to my feet baby...

Have you tried exercise?