Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings 2006-2007

[Rangerforever]

Anyone have the Skinny on the team from Aldergrove?

Aldergrove's a sleepy wee Mennonite community of dairy farmers just east of Langley.
Actually it is technically considered to be in the Township of Langley I believe.
It's advised to have the Lord's good book present in the change rooms there.
That and a couple of crosses.

Anyhow, rumour is the power circle of the commune involves the Brothers Clark.
One's a right back, one's a central midfielder, and the cagey one's a striker.


Taxman:

 

[biggs]

Sir m Quote 'Then limp home, ashamed'

Why would we be ashamed?

 

[Sir M]

Never mind Biggs, never mind.

 

[biggs]

ok grumpy

 

[Sir M]

No Biggs, its just SMEPR policy: if we have to explain it, then, never mind, it lost it's effect. Otherwise we would be expaining all these vague SMEPR references until we were blue in the face.

Seriously.

 

[biggs]

tanx 4 teh xplanasion wer nun 2 brite owt ere onn teh Norf sure & ar lernin ow 2 ply teh gaim cordin 2 KingR

ey tink ey gottit

 

[Sir M]

Give me strength.

 

[biggs]

exactly what I was thinking

 

[Sir M]

Well let us take a look at this: all if a sudden the much vaunted VMSL has taken a bit of a blow, with a number of heavyweights (no RF is still an FVSLer) falling by the wayside, the VISL has made an unanticipated representation in these rankings, and the FVSL reps, inspired by Coach with the orange shades and stylin' sportcoat, and bitchin' haircut, are all through. And well, the NSCL teams all lost and, much like Sir M in the marriage bed since about 1995, did not score. But some very interesting results this last week, and we are now down to eight teams.

So now, it is time for this week's edition of:

Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:

1. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week's rank: 1). This team dispatched the #1 NSCL side Nordic 5-0 and eased up in the second half. Staff are reporting some sort of swivel-hipped dispute between Regs and Tee...more to follow. Up against VicWest next, away. Their side of the draw has gotten easier, staff report.

2. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 4). Had their way with Nanaimo this Sunday, 3-0 at Adanac (not unlike SCK's marriage proposal record). Host UVic next, these teams are looking to teach eachother the meaning of the word "respect".

3. Westside F.C. (VMSL. Last week's rank: 7). Big win this weekend against last week's #2 rankings side jumps this team way up. Away to Aldergrove next out on 268th, and no, that is not University Boulevard, not even close actually.

4. UVIC Alumni. (VISL. Last week's rank: 8). Defeated #3 last week Metro Ford Wolves, a side which correpondent Vicman perhaps albeit some may say accurately yet ungraciously, has described as "posers". A bit harsh, staff advise.

5. S.F.C. Rangers. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 5). Some FVSL staff are a bit disappointed at this ranking for the FVSL Champions. Staff majority, however, point out that this side won a game that they should have won. Although it must be said they did it without RF. Up against Peace Arch next, and staff are predicting they are on a collision course with Westside. Having said that, staff suck at predictions.

6. VicWest. (VISL. Last week's rank: 9). Staff advise that, this side, much like Skanky CDMTC Blonde actually, laid a beating at home on the Firefighters this weekend. There is a certain staff rogue sect that were of the opinion that this was no surprise anyway (Sir M not being one of them of course). Host Surrey United over in Victoria on the weekend, a match to which staff member Gordon Head will be attending and filing the appropriate report.

7. Peace Arch United. (FVSL. Last week's rank: 13). Staff recognize that this side is, like Dickens, short and hurt. But they continue to compete. Beat Norvan easily on the weekend, and are up against arch-rivals SFC up at, staff are reporting, NAP next. Should be a potential MOTW, and Sir M may steer, if he can find it, the Audi in that direction.

8. Aldergrove United (FVSL Last week’s rank: 11). An excellent win for these BC Master's debutantes over there in Aldergrove today. Host Westside next weekend.

So there are your last eight. After next week, four teams in the rankings.

And, I must say I am a bit verklepmt to report this, Sir M, with a tear in his eye, is closing this thread. Please continue these rankings discussion here:

http://www.takethepiss.com/forums/b...al-cup-masters-quarter-finals.html#post216047

Thread closed.

Sniff.

 

[Sir M]

Well here you go. This is, truth be told, completely unanticipated. Much like there was no way there would be a reunion tour of The Police, staff have re-opened this thread Sir M, its seems, is certifiably insane.

So, SMEPR fans, one more time, here we go:

Due to overwhelmingly popular demand, staff have postponed their various vacations to such exotic venues as Belize, Tuscany, and of course Sooke, and have acquiesced to the multiple requests for one last 2006/2007 edition of… Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings.

Now, before everyone gets all Verklempt (Utah, Coach…please note) about this, let Sir M once again set out the Power Rankings criteria. Despite what some may think, staff try to be as fair as possible, and rate the teams as to recent form, strength of opposition, who’s better, and of course coiffures and personal grooming That is why SFC is ranked #7 (Just kidding Coach).

This final edition, however, does factor in overall form and achievements over this past season. This week’s rankings are more of an overview of the form of the sides over the past season than previous rankings.

So here we go: this is the final 2006-2007 version (and be forewarned teams will not necessarily come out of the gate next year in this order) of:

Sir M’s Excellent Power Rankings:

1. S.F.C. Rangers (FVSL). This side is the British Columbia Masters Champions. They were on a significant roll here the last few months, and defeated a feisty and higher ranked Columbus side for the title. Also finished in 1st place on 46 points (14 clear of the second place side) in the FVSL. They were, furthermore, Western Canadian Champs two years ago, and will represent this Province in fine fashion in Winnipeg this fall, staff predict. RF, note, Winnipeg: Home made perogies swimming in melted dairy butter, diced blanched onion, and crispy bacon bits with a big dollup of cool sour cream on top, and home made fried garlic sausage on the side, with a cabbage roll chaser.

2. Columbus F.C. (VMSL). This side really struggled coming out of the gate with the loss of Benji Hayford for the season, but much like this side’s namesake in 1492, they righted the ship, and forged forward, going on quite a tear since Christmas. They finished second on their side on 30 points in the VMSL, lost out in the quarters of the Masters Cup, but most importantly reached the BC Final, dispatching much vaunted Surrey United in the process. The future is (as opposed to SCDMTC Blonde) bright for this side.

3. Surrey United (VMSL). This team had a storybook maiden season in the VMSL, but had a bit of a hiccup near the end. Winners of side B in the VMSL Masters Premier on 38 points, they went out early in the Masters Cup, but went on a bit of a run in the BCs, only to lose out in the semis to Columbus. But staff argues that this team, based on consistent performance over the season, rates this ranking…if not higher. Are co-winners of the League Trophy, along with Metro-Ford.

4. Metro Ford Wolves (VMSL). The Wolves went out early in the BCs on the Island, but did win their side in the VMSL Masters on 33 points and were finalists in the Masters Cup. Hopefully they will keep all of their players next season and take that next step. Co-title holders: but enough about Sir M’s financial real estate mistake on marriage #1.

5. Aldergrove United (FVSL). This side finished a distant third to SFC in the FVSL, but won the FVSL Master’s Cup and made it to the semi-finals of the Provincial Championships. So this Aldergrove team is ranked #5, based primarily on, values that Mrs. Sir M perhaps should embrace: hard work and commitment.

6. West Van F.C. (VMSL). This team, VMSL Champs a year ago, started very slowly, but came on in the end, winning the Master’s Cup, and finishing a point behind Columbus. Went out on PKs to Westside in a tough first round game in the BCs. Will this team get better next year? Does SDMTC Blonde sleep on her back?

7. UVIC Alumni (VISL). This side arguably has the best combination midfielder and rock star playing in Masters football: Nick Gilder, (formerly of Sweeney Todd). They went out in the second round of the BCs, but UVic finished on top in the VISL, and also were the Tony Grover Cup Champions.

8. Westside F.C. (VMSL). This team had a good start, but dropped off at the end, not unlike Skanky CDMTC Blonde before she met Doctor Graham. Finished behind SU on the VMSL B side, and defeated West Van in the BCs. Have, staff report, the best goaltender under 5’8” in local Masters soccer. Their unanticipated exit to Aldergrove in the BCs drops them, staff advise.

9. Vancouver Firefighters (VMSL). This side has, much like Rangerforever at his Sunday evening dinners of late, been languishing near the middle of the table for several months now. The 05-06 Provincial Champs went out early in the BCs, lost in the semis in the League Cup, and came in third on side B of the VMSL. Owned Surrey United this year it seems.

10. Peace Arch United (FVSL). Had a good draw in round one, and lost a heartbreaker to SFC in the second round. Finished in second place in the FVSL, and also were finalists in the FVSL Masters Cup. They wear jerseys with stretch marks.

11. Sapperton Rovers (VMSL) This team led their side of the VMSL standings for a good portion of the year, but much like Dickens’ much anticipated return from injury, faded badly at the end. Are as tough a team as you would want to meet though, although staff suggest midfielders that dye their hair may have been their downfall.

12. ICSF Inter (VMSL). A very disappointing year for the 03-04 Provincial Finalists. Staff have no doubt that this team will rebound: they are known for having good hair, and are very good cooks.

13. Nanaimo United. (VISL). Staff report that this is a side that is always tough, as they have to live in Nanaimo. Went out early in the BCs, but finished in second place in the VISL, just 3 points shy of UVic.

14. Coveside F.C. (NCSL). Had a disappointing year, by their standard in the NSCL, finishing third, and not reaching the Cup Final. Solace for them though in that they were the most competitive of their league’s teams in the first round of the BCs, losing (by less than the others) to the BC Champs.

15. Nordic F.C. (NSCL). Had a great year in the NSCL, winning the league and the Kilby Cup. Their thumping in the first round at the hand of SU of the BCs drops them a bit though.

16. VicWest (VISL). Another Island team that made an early exit in the BCs. Finished in third in the VISL, and made it to the semis in the Tony Grover Cup. Staff advise that two players on this team have bench pressed the log.

17. Cliff Avenue Utd. (VMSL). This side had a wonderful debut season in the VMSL: they won Div 1 going away, got promoted, and made it into the quarter-final of the League Cup. Did not qualify for the BCs, but they will play Masters Premier next year.

18. NorVan F.C. (NSCL). Finished in second place in the NSCL, and did not fare any better in the goal scoring department than any other sides from their league in the Provincials, also failing to make a mark on the score sheet. Were also Kilby Cup finalists though.

19. Wickham F.C. (VMSL). Not a great year for this team, also did not qualify for the BCs or make much of a run in the cup. Stayed up though, and are looking to move up next year.

20. Delta Metro Utd. (FVSL). Fourth place in the FVSL did not get them a spot in the BCs, were semi-finalists in the FVSL Masters Cup.

So that is it for this year. Everyone have a good summer.

Sir M knows he won’t.

 

[Rangerforever]

It's about fcuking time....

And, what's with the fat jokes?

Outstanding job to you and your vast team of correspondents for providing us the best thread on TTP.
Looking forward to having maybe some more Island input for next season rather than just at Cup time.

Cheers mate on the shits and giggles,
RF

 

[Sir M]

Rangerforever, you will note, that staff have never in the rankings made a fat joke.

Eating jokes yes, but never fat jokes.

Cheers.

 

[therock]

Looking forward to having maybe some more Island input for next season rather than just at Cup time.

RF

Unfortunately Cup time is the only time we play you mainland teams. Perhaps we need a good preseason tourney on the island to condition you guys for the ferry and the Sticky Wicket

 

[trece verde]

therock:

Do Castaways still have their Labour Day tournament? I seem to recall a lot of alcohol abuse from that lost long weekend...

Trece

 

[Taxman]

Unfortunately Cup time is the only time we play you mainland teams. Perhaps we need a good preseason tourney on the island to condition you guys for the ferry and the Sticky Wicket

RF loves the ferry buffet - they shut it down when they see him coming.

 

[Sir M]

Well, the 2006-2007 season has come and gone. 2007-2008 is a whole new year for the rankings. Continue your discussion here:

http://www.takethepiss.com/forums/o...-ms-excellent-power-rankings-2007-2008-a.html

Thread closed.