Div 1 results from div. 1 B

[boogienights]

Captain Moribund

Captain Moribund,

Are you related to the infamous Captain Shamrock, alias, Kitty Shamrock, Cpt. Smallckoc, Cpt. Smallrooster, Cpt. Smallrod, etc.? If you are, could you explain where he and his incestuous Iresomes have gone to write their irksome banter.

My picks are as follows:
Polskies 2 - 1 Iresomes____ Polskies prevail in bitchfest
Loballs 2 - 1 Bosna_______ Bosnas puts a scare in Loballs
P.Grey 2 - 2 Croats_______ Even all the way
Bingers 1 - 1 Olympics_____ Bingers lineup still thin
Norvan 4 - 0 Norburn_____ Unlike last week Norvan shows up

Max, our cheesiest player is wearing women's boots. Will this affect his play on or off the field?

Apparently SashiLalu could have played this weekend had his papers been processed in time. We could have used him. When is his surgery and are u involved in his mental recovery?.....and will he be Lalu or Lulu upon his return?

Boogienights

 

[Captain Morgan]

Captain Moribund?

Boogienights is that worthy of a response?............... Alas, I can't resist. That second rate (soon to be second division?), grasp at humor is a sign of desperation: However as a newcomer to post's I feel that my response should not be personal, so I'll throw it out to public opinion:

What is the meaning of "DESPERATION":

A). Bongers still poised & ready for battle to promotion

B). Boogienights having to resort to entertaining strangers by spanking his monkey in pick up trucks for a lousy five bucks
(yeah we've all seen you in the movie )

C). All of the above (23 letters left Inspector Blake...go to town)

Let the games begin!:

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Kitty Shamrock, Cpt. Smallckoc, Cpt. Smallrooster, Cpt. Smallrod, etc

Good to see you have come up with some new material over the summer. Once you have enough balls to introduce yourself, your attempted humour will be ignored.


As for the team, we have played two games and should have had at least 4 points. Croatia scored two goals in the last 12 minutes, one after we had someone sent off by a shoc-king double yellow. We spent the entire second half in the Norburn end but didn't score. We're on top of you AGAIN and will continue to be above you all season. So, Rent-a-Mouth, until you WIN or even TIE a game this year, you should probably say very little. Actually, nothing would be better.

 

[dazza]

There Captain,

That's better

until you WIN or even TIE a game this year, you should probably say very little

Hi Kettle, it's Pot here...nice to see you again. You look a little black today.....

Stick to this thread for a while. At least until YOU have a win under your belt

daz

 

[CDK]

I caught the second half of the Croatia/Ireland game. That's really too bad, Captain. I thought Ireland had that game in the bag... Until the 35 year old Croat decided to put the game away with a goal and an assist...

 

[Inspector Blake]

Norvan 4-0 Norburn______unlike last week Norvan shows up

Another week dig Lonelynights. They had their full compliment of players out. Infact, we were the one's playing with the help of 2 cat players just to give us 13 and both of them played a fair amount in the 2nd half. It's called "depth", not to be confused with deep, as in deep down at the bottom of Div.1b

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Stick to this thread for a while. At least until YOU have a win under your belt

Oh, Dazza, do we have to document your massive decline after blowing your load in your first two games last year? Remember that? This weekend will be your first LOSS of many consecutive ones. Get used to it. If your team is ANYTHING like last year's team, you must be shite. Cheers, Dazza. Go Spurs. BTW, Dazza, we did tie a game, so your quote is moot.


CDK,

I'm sure you meant what you said. I have to say that I have NEVER seen a Croatia team hump the ball like this year's squad. We are obviously struggling a bit right now but if that is Croatia's best team, this division will be WIDE open this year. As I said before, the Div 1 A side is a lot stronger, bar the Muckalomas. Was Croatia missing players?

 

[NO2]

As I said before, the Div 1 A side is a lot stronger, bar the Muckalomas

And you have one goal, and one point in the extremely talented div 1 b.

 

[CDK]

"Was Croatia missing players?"


Yeah, they were missing Peter Stipansic, Lui Miljanovic, Russel Kekec, Johnny Gasparac, Joe Pest...

 

[Captain Shamrock]

No 2,

Are you the fcuking plumber I megged twice last year and Parkhead megged 3 times in the second game? I thought so. Good job of trash talking though. Remember, you went 13 fcuking games without a win last year and this weekend is the start of another long slide. Your team is too bad not to go on another 'run'. Cheers. Maybe I'll get the put the boots on this season, if we play in the cup. I would like to meg you a couple more times before I retire. Fcuking plumber.


Captain

 

[dazza]

Captain,

Trust me, if we played you right now, we'd wipe you guys right off the park.

Yes, we had a bad run last year, but we are much better team this year, no question. We also had a very good run in at the end of the season where the only team we lost to in the League after Xmas was Clan, by 1-0.

Be thankful you are not in our group


Daz

 

[boogienights]

Dazza,

I like your moxie. I too like your chances over Ires. Good to hear you guys are off to a good start.

Captain Morbid (FYI: Morbid - def.#3 mentally gloomy),

a) Bongers still poised & ready for battle to promotion

Whatever that means, just for the record we are not desperate for promotion, however, we could play with a little more desperation. We are happy to win a few if we are lucky and stay up in div. 1.

spanking his monkey.....for a lousy five bucks

Who needs the five bucks?

Boog

 

[boogienights]

Free speech for all

Captain Shamrock,

Let me introduce myself. My name is Boogienights. As you may know, when cleared by the War Office, I play for Bingers Army. Good to see your springs are still wound tight, however, you haven't called me a cnut yet. Are you O.K.?

Will you get your first win this weekend? It looks a bit doggy, don't you think? You guys seemed much stronger in the summer. What happened.

Boogie

 

[Dapotayto]

Ruff, ruff. You doggy geezer you.

 

[NO2]

Captain,

Are you the fcuking plumber I megged twice last year and Parkhead megged 3 times in the second game?

Good to see you are still talking out of your arsehole you fu@king hasbeen. Actually, I didn't play the second game against you last year due to injury. (along with 2 other of our 'd' line). And the I's barely won! So, please Captain, put some thought into your idiotic rants and stop making yourself look like an absolute fool.

NO2

whourgespeopletothinkbeforetheyspeak

 

[Inspector Blake]

Good to see you are still talking out of your arsehole you fu@king hasbeen

No2, having played for a short spell last season with CS and having seen what he brings to the game, I have no idea what you're on about. A hasbeen will always be better than a never was!!-fool....... Though I'm sure that several winning seasons with the 86ers will never compare to mucking about at 4th & Blenheim in 3 inches of mud and surrounded in doggie droppings..........couldn't agree more

 

[binger barfme]

Booger Boogie, I think thats it ..............keep coming with the comments............all it will do is backfire....and of course ignite what has already blown by you once.........well lets see if the lobbers jet blows by you again only maybe like mr. blake says instead of 4-0 maybe 5 or 6 which would you like.......

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Game day for NO.2(

As my eyes open, I see the life size poster of my idol and favorite soccer player of all time, Bobby Lenarduzzi. That man had and probably still has so much finess and skill. One day, I will be that good. I know we are playing Club Ireland today, so I better keep my legs closed because they ripped me open a few times before like a bitch in heat. I go down to have my pre-game meal which happens to a cup of tea and toast. That's what I heard all the skillful players in the world eat before their games. Surely, it must rub off on me.

I must start stretching now, as it is 10:00 and we have a game in 4 hours. As I stretch, I watch highlights of Bobby's infamous miss in the 1986 World Cup. Only if I had that chance. Surely, I would mess it up even more than he did, if I was given the opportunity. As I look at the orange pumpkin like jersey I have to wear, my eyes start to tear. I love this team. I can play with no purpose. I can hump balls up the field all day and not be criticized. Every time I watch footage of Wimbledon in the 1980's I get chills down my spine. How could a team be that good at kicking the ball? Once again, I think of how Bobby would have fit into that scheme.......

As I slide the orange polyester jersey over my finely tuned physique, I start telling myself again, that I can't be megged today....More importantly, this is a huge game, as we have not won in 12 games. Only if Dazza and my other team-mates had shut their mouths after being undefeated for 2 games. Before going to the park, I go outside and complete my daily ball juggling routine for 30 minutes. I am now up to 7 without dropping it and feeling more confident each day.

As I pull up to McBride Park's Wembley like surface, I really get nervous. There will be 4 of our fans watching today and that will quadruple the fan output over the last 12 games. Pulling on my boots, I spot the Has Been. That guy is shite and he is old. He couldn't lace my boots, because he couldn't bend over far enough to do so. I've heard he has had 9 operations. Has been. I'm going to fcuking chop him so badly he won't get a chance to meg me today. I must go and polish my boots now and put some Dubbin on them because Bobby believes it is very important to have the boots looking good, especially if the feet inside the boots have a touch of a gymnasium wall. Somehow, it is supposed to hide that fact......

As the game kicks off, I notice a disturbing trend. We are fcuking chasing green and white hooped shirts all over the field and can't get a fcuking sniff. Inspector Blake, Tronco, Parkhead, and even the Has Been are having the time of their lives TTP out of us. Poor Dazza is gassed after 1/2 an hour and I"m feeling the same way. I've already been megged twice and have already knocked 4 balls onto 4th Avenue in my attempt to hit Dazza in the center circle. That's okay. Bobby did that all the time. I know I'm a good player. Finally, the moment has come for me to line up the Has Been. He is dribbling with his left foot(the guy can't kick with his right foot) to right and I see my moment to fly in at his shins. Unfortunately, he read me like yesterday's newspaper and quickly cut back the other direction, with surprisingly, the outside of his left foot, megging me in the process. He chuckles as he goes by and says, "Is that the best you got, NO. 2?"

"YOu're a fcuking Has Been." "Cheers, NO.2, You're a fcuking horrible player and look awful in orange."

I try unsuccessfully to pass to my team-mates at least 8 times during the rest of the game. I finally hit a 6 yard lazer to another full-back and feel like I have accomplished everything I wanted to in the game. Sure, we lost the game, and sure I had the piss taken out of me by most of the guys in hoops, but that fcuking Has Been only megged me twice and he didn't score a goal. Next time, I'll get him. I promise. I must go home now and avoid drinking beer because we have a huge game next week and don't want to lose 14 games in a row.


NO.2




BTW, NO.2, I didn't think about this post at all. It just came naturally. I hope your injuries are okay now, or you'll end up washed up like me before you know it. Has that pimple on your leg healed yet? How about the razor burn in your groin? One can only imagine how uncomfortable that must be. Remember, NO.2, your LONG winless streak starts this weekend, so there will be no pressure on you.


The Has Been


Inspector Blake,

I believe you megged the aforementioned too.....Poor lad is just out to enjoy his football and gets humiliated every game.....

 

[The Apprentice]

Captain Shamrock

Top Notch Piss Take for a has-been ......

Good Stuff
TA

 

[cerebral smallsy]

megs are overrated.