1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
> A. Lovemaking.
> B. Screwing.
> C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
>
> 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've
> both shared:
> A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
> B. Your blood test results.
> C. Five tequila slammers.
>
> 3. You time your orgasm so that:
> A. Your partner climaxes first.
> B. You both climax simultaneously.
> C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.
>
> 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
> A. Healthy, creative love-play.
> B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
> C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find
> out about.
>
> 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with
> is:
> A. The best part of the experience.
> B. The second best part of the experience.
> C. $100 extra.
>
> 6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last
> month.
> You tell her that it is:
> A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
> B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
> C. A conservative estimate.
>
> 7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
> A. A myth.
> B. An oxymoron.
> C. A moron.
>
> 8. Foreplay is to sex as:
> A. An appetizer is to entree.
> B. Primer is to paint.
> C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
>
> 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
> at the end of a relationship?
> A. "I hope we can still be friends."
> B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
> C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."
>
> 10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
> A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that
> sort of intimacy.
> B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
> C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
>
> Evaluating Results:
>
> If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure
> you really ARE a man.
>
> If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a
> little confused.
>
> If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"
> A. Lovemaking.
> B. Screwing.
> C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
>
> 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've
> both shared:
> A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
> B. Your blood test results.
> C. Five tequila slammers.
>
> 3. You time your orgasm so that:
> A. Your partner climaxes first.
> B. You both climax simultaneously.
> C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.
>
> 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
> A. Healthy, creative love-play.
> B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
> C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find
> out about.
>
> 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with
> is:
> A. The best part of the experience.
> B. The second best part of the experience.
> C. $100 extra.
>
> 6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last
> month.
> You tell her that it is:
> A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
> B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
> C. A conservative estimate.
>
> 7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
> A. A myth.
> B. An oxymoron.
> C. A moron.
>
> 8. Foreplay is to sex as:
> A. An appetizer is to entree.
> B. Primer is to paint.
> C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
>
> 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
> at the end of a relationship?
> A. "I hope we can still be friends."
> B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
> C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."
>
> 10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
> A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that
> sort of intimacy.
> B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
> C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
>
> Evaluating Results:
>
> If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure
> you really ARE a man.
>
> If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a
> little confused.
>
> If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"
