It takes one to know one.

[Fastshow]

pedantry is my (only) friend

1 hour climbing for 30 minutes decent sucks.

I've often wondered why anyone would ride a bicycle up a mountain. Now I know it's for some depraved kind of homosexualist activity. Thanks for clearing that up. There are a lot of moutain bikes in the West End of Vancouver.

It begs the question; how long does a decent suck usually last?

 

[Dude]

I have no idea as to what you're referring. It should be written as "descent", not "decent", as you changed it in the quote. You see, dearest Fastshow, "Descent" is a verb, meaning to "go down" (don't get any ideas, fruitcake). "Decent" is an adjective, used to descibe an object or activity.

Are you following me around? What are you, a stalker?

Back on topic: I am looking forward to a more than decent day of descending the stellar runs on Cypress & Seymour on Monday.

 

[Fastshow]

sussed.......

That's right, pull the 'stalker' card. You wish, sweetheart, you wish. I come on here to get results and opinions, not talk rubbish with people who go up mountains on penny-farthings to do depraved things. Cut the crap. I always thought 'freeride' had innocent connotations. Now I know better, obviously. You fcuking slag.

Good job with the editing function, only 2119 more for you to get through now.........

 

[Dude]

Off topic

I think it's obvious- you love me. You're fruitier than the perishable isle at Safeway. Keep on dreaming of your decent sucks…it’ll never happen.

If I were a Nazi wannabe moderator, I'd report your posts as off topic. I'm not though. Even though your kind isn’t welcome here, you're tolerated. We let KNVB post here before, didn't we?

Now, do us all a favor and go help God Save the Queen. No, I'm not asking for you to have God save yourself...

 

[Fastshow]

outrage........

Huck off, DudewhocanIsuck. It's not my fault you're camper than a Christmas hamper. Your poor wife. Interesting you mention WKRP, the sexual tension between you two is astonishing and the worst kept secret on TTP since the discovery of the webpage of Keeper's family photographs.

I had a freeride last night when the conductor on the number 14 bus didn't ask to see my ticket.

 

[Dude]

You're so juvenile

And immature.

Fasty, seriously, I’m not saying you’re gay or anything…

Fcuk it! Yes I am! You’re gay! Gaylord! You have cooties too. Now fcuk off! If you keep sending me those PMs telling me you love me (fag), I’ll get a restraining order, TTP style! I’ll tell on you! You’ll see!

Dude- cuttingthecrap

 

[Fastshow]

huck you.......

Restraining orders are just another way of saying I love you.

As far as

retraining

orders go, as ever I have no idea what the fcuk it is you're on about. Being bent is something inherent in your nature, as far as I'm aware you can't retrain for it.
Immature? Yes. Juvenile? Massively so. Gay? You wish. You're on your own with that one, sunshine.

The only PM's I ever get come from WKRP asking me what time it is in England. The kid's fcuked in the head. And I have a penchant for stating the absolute bloody obvious.

 

[Dude]

Doh!

Retraining? Again, don't know where you get that.

You're resorting to Keeper like rebuttals now, forever correcting grammar and spelling. Sad, isn't it, how the great ones fall from their lofty heights...

Now we're way off topic. It won't be easy for the three regular readers of this thread to wade through all your crap. So cut it, would you? Immature, juvenile, insecure, closet dwelling homosexual.

Have a good evening prowling the streets of Tooting. Stay away from churches and alter boys.

 

[Fastshow]

confused.......

You're confusing me with a Catholic. Please don't. Thanks. There's a special thread for that if you're interested. Or even if you're not.

Speaking of keeper, I think you may find this link useful........thank me later. tips for Dudewhere'sthehandletothisclosetdoor

 

[Ballbaby]

Fastshow,

How the fcuk did you find that website? Let me guess, you typed in "Gay mountain biking" as a search. The internet will be the downfall of mankind.

Do gay mountain bikers ride without a seat? I couldn't find that in the FAQ's.

 

[Dude]

Off topic off topic off topic

Now you're starting to push my buttons.

From the very first post, the rules:

Welcome to Dude’s very own DH / Freeride thread! No skinny guys w/ tight pants allowed (that’s you, cross-country boy)! This thread is only for adrenaline junkies riding big bikes who hate to ride up hills, look for the big hucks, and take the fastest lines! This thread is not for the faint of heart!

That link refers to cross-country mountain biking, which is forbidden here. It also clearly showed a guy (or Allison Sydor...not sure) wearing spandex. Not allowed. Unless, of course, it's a photo of Ballbaby wearing spandex. Then allowed.

Thank you.

 

[knvb]

I'm glad I'm on everyone's mind at this festive time of the year, can I assume by all this mention of my name, my Christmas CARDS have just been completed and mailed? Fastshow be sure to include the time.

Dude, if yours smells like latex I'm not going to open it. Queer.

To be on topic: Some kid threw his hockey stick through my back spokes when I was 8, nearly ripping my Gretszky rookie card I had pinned to it at the time and I haven't been on a bike since. I just can't take that chance again. Cnut.

I was going down a hill at the time.

 

[Dude]

Notty, here are the highlights from Fasty's useful site. Now you'll know what to do the next time you encounter a rockface on Seymour.

Is it really possible to bike down a flight of steps?

You'd be amazed at what you can bike dow. Yes, provided the steps aren't too steep, and you have suitable experience, a flight of steps is quite feasible. It's just a matter of keeping your speed under control (neither too fast, nor too slow); your weight back; and your joints flexible as you bounce along.
But don't make this your first ride! Get some experience, find a good coach or teacher, and try a very short flight of steps before you head down a long one.


How do I get over a log or rock?

First, approach it at a right angle. Now keep your speed up and don't brake -- hitting either brake will keep your front tire from raising. As you reach the obstacle, pull up with your arms to help the front tire get up. Now shift your weight forward, then use a lifting motion with your legs to help the back wheel get up.
This must all happen in a quick, fluid motion, so start with small obstacles and work up.


What about coming down off a ledge or step?

Again, it's important to maintain a reasonable momentum. Adjust your speed, if necessary, before reaching the edge. Don't brake once you're there; if your front brake is applied when the wheel hits, you're going over the handlebars. Keep your weight back the whole time. Practice on a single, small step, then work up.

 

[Fastshow]

countdown.........

Only seven more sleeps until WKRP can visualise Ballbaby wearing spandex in person.

That's cross-thread fertilisation and can only be a good thing. I cannot fcuking believe you clicked on that link. I'm assuming you've already tended to deleting your cookies. Hope you had some tissue handy.

Yes, WKRP, your Christmas have been mailed. I sent them via the High School that you very clearly never attended. I thought all this hanging about with teachers might have rubbed off on you in an edumaducational way.

I've just realised that is has...... Ask Dudeoutandproud where the editing button is.

Or keeper.

Sorry about the stick incident, had I known that was you I would have done the front wheel too. You've been going downhill ever since.........

It's 18:11 now.

 

[Dude]

Well done on moving the thread Doogie.

I knew one of the more creative and brilliant (now THAT'S funny) moderators could handle this. Now the rest of TTP land can take part and enjoy (poor souls). I would have named it Fastshow's Closet. You could have run it in conjunction with his Born-again Christian thread.

God loves you Fastshow. Your parents may not, but God does.

KNVB: no latex scent in my envelope. I thinks Fasty is the authority that can tell you what 5 day old ballgravy smells like.

 

[knvb]

It's 6 more sleeps now, you being in the future like you are should have know that...

I thought all this hanging about with teachers might have rubbed off on you.

The only thing hanging out with teachers has done for me is, I no longer wear a hat indoors nor do I chew gum unless I have enough for everyone.

Sorry about the stick incident, had I known that was you I would have done the front wheel too.

As Dude would say... Keep your chin up. Your next chance will come soon. The queer cnut.

 

[Notty]

Thanks for the tips dude...but I'm sure I'll still find a way to crash!

 

[Fastshow]

over-excited moderation...........

The mountain bicycling thread was finally worth reading and now this............ bru-tal.

 

[Dude]

Well, look on the bright side- now we can discuss anything. With a topic like this, we pretty much have open season. Take your pick:

· Similarities and contradictions between the good, all-righteous Bible, and the nasty, evil-spewing Koran. I know how Fastshow is a staunch follower of Jesus’ teachings…
· Why English birds are so hideously ugly. What’s with those teeth?
· How the Kyoto agreement and it’s protocol will affect Canadians on a day-to-day basis, and if pollution control companies will thrive or suffer in this new era where Canadian manufacturers will somehow need to find a way to deal with an increased, fixed overhead, while US competitors will not.
· Weather the previous topic was a run-on sentence.
· Why Fastshow worships me and follows me around to every thread in which I post. Freaking fudge-packer.
· Ballbaby’s wife.
· Will the grain-growers ever get back to work?
· Is KNVB really as fcuked in the head as he seems, or is he simply mentally challenged?
· Is fcuked in the head the same as being mentally challenged?
· Why is Regs skipping the TTP Christmas party, when last year he really laid on a thick guilt trip to one and all whom couldn’t attend?

There you go, although I’m sure you’ll have no trouble coming up with something on your own. In fact, with your ability you carry on about all things meaningless (or otherwise), I now shutter at the fact that you now have an open forum. I guess that’s just a gay tendency, much like your keen fashion sense.

Hell, this thread could even surpass my DH thread for readership, with four.

 

[Fastshow]

oh for fcuk's sake...........

What is it with people and their Hollywood stereotypes of English people? I imagine you ride a horse and wear a mountie's uniform do you? You do always get your man, after all It's a shame you're not attracted to women, there are some tidy ones (from England, no less) on the Page 3 thread.

Poofs are fcuking annoying.