Gay George goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says "George, I am not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."
George is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"
The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 UN-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts, 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."
George asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?" "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."
Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the
unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty
Stitcher." "I sew the elastic onto ladies c otton panties."
The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled
labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter" he replied.
Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week .
When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to
find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay.
The Clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters
are skilled labor."
"What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on the panties, Sven puts
them over his head and says, "Yah, diesel fitter."
Regs,
Don't know if this is the right place for these but I had to share them with everyone here.
Please move them if you know of a more suitable thread.
Thanks.
Apparently these are real dog food adds from New Zealand.
Enjoy
Ad #4
If the print is too small to read, here it is:
"She's got hairy nipples, a saggy bum, and breath that smells like a Turkish lavatory. God I love that bitch."