For those (few) who play outside the Lower Mainland

[Fastshow]

You'll all be delighted to know that Beanbag and I have signed for the London Hibs and play our first competitive game this Sunday when we contest the quarter final of the Dave Baster Cup in the South London Men's Div.1. The enemy is Stoke City F.C., the city responsible for Robbie Williams. In our first outting we managed to beat Bolton F.C. 6-1 in a friendly played last Sunday in Putney.

Robert 'Glasgow sicknote' Beaugie is the side's leading scorer and is playing with a new-found vigour after his distasteful experience with the Mermaids a few years back. The league is made up of sides representing all parts of the UK. Surprisingly, Middlesbrough F.C. are one of the sides to beat as are Plymouth Argyle. I don't understand it either. Rumours of the inception of a Vancouver F.C. are, so far, unconfirmed. We need ten more players. Any interested parties apply to the usual address.


And before you ask, no, I don't know who Dave Baster is. But he's got his own Cup and surely that's something we should all aspire to.

 

[Regs]

own forum

Fasty,

Your new found league deserves it's very own forum instead of just a thread.

PM me with the intricate details of this progressive league so that we can set it all up.

Also, TTP has these special people called moderators now and I think you would do well in this new area.

Answers on that dirty napkin you keep using throught TTP,

~TB.

 

[sensei_hanson]

Its nice to see that the Atlantic Ocean couldn't keep you and Beano apart. This Dave Baster Cup sounds interesting...do you have to inform league officials that you want to partake in it? (or will not doing so result in your side being entered into the div.1 Cup instead?)

If you stay true to form, you should transfer to Stoke by mid-March, and have precious little to say about your piss-poor times at London Hibs. Maybe you can steal a training top for me. Maybe.

Mermaids forever,
-Sensei.

 

[Fastshow]

fanny napkin.....

Regs, I'd love to be a moderator. What kind of details are you looking for in terms of the South London Men's Division 1? I dunno what kind of intricate details you're after but we're awarded three points for a win, one for a tie, none for a loss and if we win the quarter final on Sunday we'll be through to the semi-finals, of which there are two. I tend to think the set-up is fairly similar to that of which you are familiar. Except without hot water in the showers. Chilly.

Sensei, the Atlantic Ocean be damned, Beano has an hour and half tube journey to get to each game and, frankly, I don't know why he bothers. I think it may have something to do with the fact that it's the only time he has the opportunity to come into leafy South London from his decrepit East London HQ. And no, I have no idea whether the powers-at-be have been informed of my participation and in the games I've played so far we haven't even had our studs checked nor did I have to tape up my ring. The vindaloo over here is quite strong, you know. I'll see what I can do about that training top though you should know even at your young and impressionable age that thieving is morally wrong. Shame on you, you bring your Phillipino brethren into great disrepute.

As you say, Mermaids for ever. And ever. Amen, Fastshow.

 

[zenga]

Add one more!!!

Fast I know this is your thread but just wanted to say that former Club Inter player and Fruili legend STEVEN TOMASI is playing for FC Bonferraro in Verona Italia. Its like Serie R but nevertheless he tells me he is getting some scratch($$$) to play.

He moved over there to work and found a team!!!!


Fast all the best with your club.

 

[Fastshow]

mi thread su thread....

Zenga, thank you for your post, I reckon with my current appalling fitness I'll need all the luck in the world. This thread, however, is a donation, from me, to the good people who play outside the Lower Mainland. As the thread's title might suggest. All going well, we might soon have a handful of other posters who have either never heard of, nevermind played in, the VMSL and who don't necessarily live on the same continent as you and your new best mate highroller .

It's time TTP went properly global. :

 

[Jinky]

Fasty,

Is this your mob?

 

[Fastshow]

I think it may be....

London Hibs 1 Stoke F.C. 0.

Appalling conditions in South London led to a mud bath and a particularly unattractive game of something which in no way resembled football. Still, a win's a win and the London Hib's marck towards the presigious and (recently) world-famous Dave Baster Cup.

That looks like them, Jinks, in that they're wearing Hibs kits. I think my monitor's fcuked. Or it could be my eyes. One or the other's fcuked. Where, pray tell, did you find that?

 

[Fastshow]

massive interest....

I realise this thread has generated a massive amount of interest on both sides of the Atlantic so I apologise unreservedly for my lax updating.

We haven't played since the epic victory over Stoke City F.C. as last weekend's clash vs. Birmingham City was cancelled due to Chiswick being under approx. 44 feet of rain. Chiswick was where we were meant to be playing just in case any of you thought Chiswick might have been a person.

Tomorrow we've got top of the table Doncaster Rovers in Putney. This is a real six pointer and, as a result, I'm quite sure no one has done any special training for it.

The enemy in the semi-final of the Dave Baster Cup is, sadly, Middlesbrough F.C. on Sunday 17th of February (circle it in your calendars) Obviously my allegiances will be greatly tested during this match and, as yet, I'm not sure whether or not I possess the inner fortitude to go through with it. Maybe a half with each side?

 

[Jinky]

From the Daily Record,

FOOTBALL: BORO SHOCK MOVE FOR FASTSHOW
London Hibs striker is target after Yorke KO


MIDDLESBROUGH last night launched an ambitious bid to tempt L Hibs striker Fastshow back into the Premiership.

Sports Record can reveal Boro manager Steve McClaren has made the on-fire Canadian international his No.1 target after the collapse earlier this week of a pounds 6.2million move for Manchester United's Dwight Yorke.

McClaren has yet to register his interest officially although he has been advised by a third party he faces an uphill battle to lure Fasty away from his personal Paradise.

The hitman is on course to scoop a domestic treble in his first season in England and is unlikely to sacrifice such a bounty for a second successive dog fight at the bottom of the English top flight.

Fastshow - who came close to single-handedly keeping Peg Olys up last season - has netted 15 goals in just 22 starts since his pounds 6m summer switch to Hibs.

The 27-year-old has become a key part of a pretend footballing side during a recent extended run and is already looking forward to another League campaign next season.

Fastshow has also settled well off the park so he will have no great desire to return north.

But McClaren may go ahead with a bid in any case as he is desperate for a top-class striker to help Boro climb out of relegation trouble.

And having come up with an offer of pounds 57,000-a-week for Yorke, the Riverside boss will hope he can tempt Fasty into a change of heart with a similarly massive package.

 

[Buckfast]

I knew this was bullshit........27 years old. Balls.

 

[Fastshow]

streak....

Sorry about the wait, I'm sure you've both been gagging to know this result.

Doncaster Rovers 1 London Hibs 2.

Another day better suited to buxom wenches wrestling outside a trailer park in Surrey but a nice three points in a must-win match. The final twenty minutes saw Beanbag's British debut and, despite the aforementioned muddy conditions, the goatee'd one managed to come through unscathed and particularly clean. I must question his commitment. Nevertheless, the league is still within our reach and we've got Rangers 'C' this weekend. The following is a league table though, unhelpfully, I have no idea when it was last updated. Who knew the excellent's site's incompetence was so far-reaching?



P W D L F A GD Pts
Glasgow Rangers 9 8 1 0 41 22 +19 25
Doncaster Rovers 12 8 0 4 34 20 +14 24
Middlesbrough 9 6 2 1 25 13 +12 20
Hibernian 8 5 1 2 29 14 +15 16
Birmingham City 10 4 1 5 29 29 +0 13
Sheffield Wednesday 9 4 1 4 21 24 -3 13
Rangers C 11 3 1 7 29 36 -7 10
Republic of Ireland Soccer Supporters Club 12 2 2 8 21 42 -21 8
Bristol City 10 0 1 9 11 40 -29 1


Jinks, thank you for your coverage of my little-reported transfer saga but, with Sir Alex's recent announcement, I think I'll stay where I am. with the London Hibs. I don't understand what that has to do with anything either.

 

[Fastshow]

update...

On a weekend when even the Peg/Olys managed a win, the London Hibs's epic unbeaten run was once again halted by the elements. Despite the fact that it was a beautifully sunny and mild winter's day on Sunday, Glasgow Rangers 'C' decided that they were too afraid of the amazing form shown by the London Hibs and had the game cancelled last Thursday. Maybe there is some truth to Jinky's conspiracy theories about the blue side of Glasgow. Anyway, here's a cut-out-and-keep schedule for you to print out and tape to the side of your monitors so you can follow every kick from the comfort of your chair. Or something.
Feb 17th v. Middlesbrough (CUP SEMI-FINAL) - Barn Elms
Feb 24th v. Sheffield Wednesday (League) - Barn Elms
Mar 3rd v. Doncaster Rovers (League) - away
Mar 10th v. Middlesbrough (League) - away
Mar 17th v. Bristol City (League) - Barn Elms
Mar 24th v. Glasgow Rangers (League) - Barn Elms
Mar 31st v. Sheffield Wednesday (League) - away

That doesn't include make-up games against Birmingham City and Rangers 'C' but, not to worry, I'll get you those dates ASAP.

 

[Fastshow]

finalists....

Though it was a beautiful day on Sunday and the park was in superb condition, the semi-final between London Hibs and Middlesbrough F.C. still, in no way, resembled any kind of football I've ever seen before. And here I've been blaming it on the elements all this time. And Beanbag.

London Hibs 6 Middlesbrough F.C. 3. Hockey score anyone? The level of humping the ball as hard as possible to nowhere in particular combined with a subtlety of approach-work hitherto confined to the Waffen S.S. led to an absolute travesty of footballing incompetence. Put it this way, the Meralomas would have taken to pieces both sides put together with their master tactician Marty on his own in midfield, Dazza in goal and the Gaffa playing as wing back. Still, a win's a win and now the London Hibs can look forward to contesting the final for the Dave Baster Cup against another side who, frankly, won't be much good either. Some guys made JAGS look speedy and Dicken's_Cider seem sober. Heaven help us all. With Rangers F.C. losing in the league on Sunday against Sheffield Wednesday, an unprecedented double is still within reach.

I've started saving up for Kamloops.

 

[Fastshow]

sorry.....

Sorry about the delay in posting this obviously eagerly awaited result but I wasn't actually at last Sunday's game so, therefore, it doesn't actually exist.

London Hibs 4 Sheffield Wednesday 3.

This weekend we're away in Wandsworth to Doncaster Rovers again who, as a team of fans can't be too far away from their actual idols in the Conference League in terms of ability. Even I don't support a side that shite. Close, but not quite.

5th May, 2002 Final of the Dave Baster Cup London Hibs vs. Aberdeen in an all Scottish fixture. Venue to be confirmed but the powers at be are attempting to get either Highbury or Stamford Bridge. I kid you not. In case Dazza is reading this, Highbury is where Arsenal play and Stamford Bridge is High Wycombe's ground.

Updates as they happen(ish), Fastshow.

 

[Luch]

What's in a name?

Not that I follow foreign leagues, but, isn't it the Dave Baister Cup?

Curious.

 

[Fastshow]

que?

You don't follow foreign leagues but you're splitting hairs over the spelling of a man's name? Do you follow foreign men? Does your wife know about this? Who's Dave Baister? I don't know who Dave Baster is nevermind your man so I'll be fcuked with a white-hot rocket if I know, Luch. Seriously, who's Dave Baister?

Intrigued at this outburst from the peanut gallery, Fastshow.

 

[Luch]

who?

Truth be told, I have been trying to follow the Dave Baister Cup. Although the Province coverage is crap. Dave Baster is our latest signing. As for foreign men, I believe that Dave B. is a foreign male. And yes, she knows all about it.

Good luck in the cup final.

 

[Fastshow]

struggling...

Luch,
I've got a monumental hangover from a very ill-advised Monday night drinking sesh and reading your post has not helped my mood one bit. Why don't you just write in hieroglyphics or another kind of cryptic code? I'm now so confused I'm having a difficult time staying upright. Glad to see your new signing had such a positive effect on the weekend. Did you at least manage to beat Dario in a footrace or is the race still being contested?

In other news.... Doncaster Rovers 3 London Hibs 4. With fifteen minutes left I heroically substitued myself in order to allow Beanbag to have a go on the back line. When I came off it was Doncaster Rovers 1 London Hibs 4. In no way am I suggesting the collapse and resulting cliff-hanger ending was Beanbag's doing nor am I suggesting it had anything to do with me not being on. I'm merely reporting the facts.

In preparation for our May 5th Cup final appearance against Aberdeen, our fearless leader has decided to embark upon a new training system, the details of which can be studied here; www.touchsouthampton.com/webpro/live/activephysique/soccerobics.cfm?catid=492

I'm sure it's revolutionary and will change the way the game of football is played. Aberdeen won't know what hit 'em.

Total football, Johan Fastshow.

 

[Luch]

False Start

Fasty,

Congrats on the win. I'm hoping to at least log onto a typograph of your impending final. What's the date on that again? As for the foot race, Dario never showed. I'm thinking that it could be rescheduled in the future with yourself as special guest. That would surely make things a little more interesting. Ital, Croat & Brit. Perhaps it could be a net broadcast as well.

Yours in brainstorming,