Euro 2004 Qualifying

[Jinky]

German fans are being encouraged to take the mickey out of their Scottish counterparts, ahead of the key Euro 2004 qualifier on Saturday.

Bild, Germany's biggest-selling newspaper, is offering 50 tickets to supporters who send in the best Scottish jokes.

And the publication is extremely confident of putting one over old boy Berti Vogts at Hampden Park.

"Rudi Voeller wants to blow away McBerti and his bagpipes," Bild has said.

"To give our team the best possible support, we have decided to send our 50 funniest fans to Scotland.

"Following McBerti's side's poor 1-1 draw against New Zealand we need be anything but afraid of Scotland!"

English fans will recall a similar line being being spun ahead of a certain clash in Munich a couple of years ago.

Which, when it backfired, turned out to be absolutely hilarious - as long as you weren't German or, er, Scottish.

So will the Scots be able to cope with their opponents' legendary sense of humour?

Judging by the sample joke below - sent in by Karsten von der Ohe to the newspaper - yes.

A Scotsman goes to the barber and asks what a haircut costs, and is told £6, he asks what a shave costs and is told £3, so he turns to the barber and says, good, please shave my head.



50? Good luck.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Ah, the fcuking sense of humour of the Germans. Top notch. BTW, who drew New Zealand?

 

[besty]

Let's hope we come away with the last laugh!

Arrogant Bastards

Come on the boys in blue!...or white...or yellow?

GO SCOTLAND!

 

[ParkHead]

Arrogant to say the least

Come On Scotland!! If you ever needed more inspiration than normal this would be it.


Shut them up please.



Parkhead

 

[downtown]

Play the Germans now

I got this email from a guy I partied with in France in 1998. They are giving away a pair of tickets for the match to the top point getter in this game you play against the Germans. My fcuking computer is being a b*tch today so I can't tell you what it's like. But anyways, if anyone wants to try it out, here is the info below.

Comedy from Germans. Now I've heard it all. Billy Connolly warned us not to let those 2 Germany's get together again....

===========================================

Can you score against the Germans?
Yes you Kahn!

Scotland takes on Germany in a vital Euro 2004 qualifier on Saturday 7th of June at Hampden Park and here's your chance to win a pair of tickets.

The game is rapidly approaching sell-out status, so get your Scotland jersey on and see just how many points you can get against the might of Germany.

Log onto:
http://www.scottishfa.co.uk/yeswekahn
and follow the instructions. All scores will be registered, and the subsequent winner will be notified by e-mail or telephone on Friday before 2pm.

For further ticket information log onto: http://www.scottishfa.co.uk.

 

[Keeper]

Looks more like Scottish comedy actually.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Fcuking whinging Albanians

Igli Tare picked up a knock and Albania kicked the ball out so he could receive treatment. But, when play restarted, Ireland chose not to return possession to their visitors.

The ball was worked to substitute Gary Doherty inside the left edge of the box and he hit a tame low cross which Aliaj sliced into the roof of his own net.

There were scenes of great celebration as the final whistle sounded and very few handshakes from the Albanians. They felt the Irish should have given them back possession when they kicked out the ball so that Tare could receive treatment, but instead Ireland went on to score.

It's all about winning(not whinging) and lateral thinking.

 

[steve1234]

I did not see the Ireland throw in, but at the Scotland Game, 1-1,
we commented on this new habit of returning the ball for a defensive throw. It happened to Celtic in the Porto game and the Germans did it today. They had a man hurt and Scotland played the ball out. When the German chucked the ball back it he played it for a deep defensive Scottish throw, and then they applied some serious pressure. Is this the new idea of fair play?

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Is this the new idea of fair play?

No, it is just the German and Porto way. Fcuking cheaters.

 

[Jinky]

Why on earth did the Albanians expect the Irish to return the ball?

They should only receive the ball if they had put it out so an Irish player could be treated.


Scotland 1 2002 WC Finalists 1

I hope Germany's 50 funniest found that result amusing.

 

[Jinky]

My wee brother's band is playing in Bologna Italy tonight (which would be right now, in the future).
However this is their schedule for the next week.

6/8/03
Lindau, Germany - Club Vaudeville
w/ Fabulous Disaster
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/10/03
Berlin, Germany - Wild At Heart
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/11/03
Oberhausen, Germany - Altenberg
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/12/03
Hannover, Germany - Glocksee Indigo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/13/03
Uedelhofen, Germany - Im Lager
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/14/03
Greiz, Germany - Schlosshof Open Air


I'm sure they will be very popular after today's match.

 

[Keeper]

Poor result.

I find it amusing that the Scots see this as a win and the Germans as a loss. One's sense of satisfaction is so easily met when expectations are so low.

[Cue predictable comments on German humour, Keeper's posts, etc.]

 

[steve1234]

1-1

I must be reading the score wrong. If the score is indeed 1-1, would'nt that make it a draw. Thats not a bad result for Scotland, a point against the No 4 ranked team in the world. I'm happy with that. 6 points from the Faroes, and Lithuania, and another draw from the Germans, and we're through.

 

[Jinky]

The Scots see it as a win because they came back to tie a team which is widely recognized as being vastly superior.

Ze Germans see it as a loss because they gave up a lead (and an extra 2 precious qualifying points) to a team which is widely recognized as inferior and is in a major rebuilding process.

Amusing stuff.

I guess a German's sense of humour is so easily met when expectations are so low.

predictable yes but there was so little to work with

 

[Keeper]

widely recognized as being vastly superior

That's all I wanted to hear.

 

[CDK]

Why?

 

[steve1234]

Hear it again. Germany is the vastly superior team. It was still a tie.

 

[ParkHead]

1-1

Zeee Germans could not beat Scotland!! Number 4 in the world my ass. Although they displayed their dominanance by whoopinng Canada. Which the Blaze could do with their mandatory 1 or 2/3 red cards.

Scotland!!



Parkhead

 

[Bronco]

Croatia win!!

Croatia come away with a big win on the road in Estonia 1-0. The 3 pts puts them in a vey comfortable position for the time being in their group!!!

 

[zenga]

Italy 2
Finland 0

Totti and Del Piero with the Goals.