Champions League 2004/2005

[Guinness]

Re: Jose's coat

He could always borrow one of MOAN's trackies to class up the sideline!!!


Bucky, your precious Lampard is doing the business, but he'd be battling with Makalele for his start in the middle if Gerrard ended up at Stamford Bridge!!! My point was:
"BTW, how does Terry not figure to be better than Sol or Rio??? The man is the best defender in England and scores HUGE goals!!!"

My point was no-where near: Those who wear their socks high are mince!!! Think about it, if terrythetwat doesn't fancy a high stocking, there must be something right with it!!!


Sensei for president, Guinness

 

[zenga]

Juventus 2-0 Real Madrid (agg. 2-1)

Arsenal 1-0 Bayern Munich (agg. 2-3)

Bayer Leverkusen 1-3 Liverpool (agg. 2-6)

Monaco 0-2 PSV Eindhoven (agg. 0-3)

 

[Dapotayto]

I have to agree on the Terry remarks. That's John Terry not our ever-so-acerbic Terrytoo. As for as Lampard goes, he definitely would take a back seat to Gerrard. I'm not sure why Buckfast is standing on his soapbox and fellatiating Lampard so frequently but even Mourinho wants Gerrard in his Chelsea team and that is most telling.

United and the Arse are out of Europe. I'll have to remember to shed a tear sometime. What is Liverpool's problem though? They can make it to the last eight in Europe but can't beat Southampton in the Premiership. Ah, if only Olympiakos and Leverkusen played in England.

 

[deleted-dope]

everyone is also forgetting inzaghi who is back from injury now. A top milan goal scorer in recent years. Milan is back to top form.

i hate to come on here and give my opinion cause i dont want to step on any toes but the list for pure goals scorers is quite simple for forwards...
1-andre shivchienkio (spelling) scores every kind of goal,works ****ing dam hard thats why hes better than henry
2-raul most goals in champions league can do it all for a smaller guy
3-henry
4-the way hes been playing as of late crespo might be up there
5- id say samuel eto from barca...

the top three are correct and id have a hard time having others say that they dont belong at the top.. but the bottom two fall on opinions..adriano will be a great one but not consistant enough yet although hes still young...inzaghi will have a hard enough time trying to get a spot on the field again let alone being one of the best goals scorers...just my opinions.....

 

[Jinky]

Inzaghi ? That's Italian for sicknote, is it not?

but even Mourinho wants Gerrard in his Chelsea team and that is most telling.

What does it tell exactly? If Chelsea buy Gerrard he will be used in a squad capacity. Mourinho would play Gerrard against his smaller opponents so he could bully them around while keeping his harder midfielders fresh. Everyone knows that when Gerrard faces bigger opposition with defensive mids who aren't intimidated by him, he dissappears or worse, actually helps the opposition with OGs or shocking back passes.

 

[LFC2]

Liverpool through and no Arsenal or United. Who would have given odds on that a few weeks ago?
One thing that gets lost in the competition is just how important this tournament is financially to the clubs. This is so much more important than any domestic competition. I still think that there is a better than not chance that Gerrard will leave, but however slight the chances of him staying, this helps. Another round won and Liverpool will be very active this summer. And maybe enough to make a believer out of Stevie G. Thick and thin.

 

[Dapotayto]

What does it tell exactly?

It tells me this. You don't put a seashell to your ear and expect to hear freeway traffic. And you don't splash out 30 million pounds for one player and expect him to warm the bench and play minutes against "smaller" oppositon (whoever the hell this may be). Seeing as Lampard plays in the same spot as Gerrard it tells me Lampard would be the one getting splinters in his ass hair. Oops, forgot, all the Chelsea players have waxed their entire bodies. With that in mind it tells me Lampard's arse would be freezing as he watches Gerrard play on a balmy January afternoon in England.

 

[terrytoo]

i hate to come on here and give my opinion cause i dont want to step on any toes.....

Trust your instincts, they will never let you down. This is no place for opinions so kindly stop it at once, I find your opinions offensive.

Juventus 2-0 Real Madrid (agg. 2-1)

Arsenal 1-0 Bayern Munich (agg. 2-3)

Bayer Leverkusen 1-3 Liverpool (agg. 2-6)

Monaco 0-2 PSV Eindhoven (agg. 0-3)

Gutted.

I stayed away from Highbury, the pub, the telly, and the wireless last night to avoid hearing the result. Obviously this website is the first and foremost source for football results. Your post is reminiscent of a Python/Two Ronnies sketch except with all the funny bits taken out.

Last night's results.

1-0
2-0
1-3
0-2
7-4
3-2

Please stop talking about Lampard's arse. It makes my ringpiece twitch like a sparrow dying in the snow just thinking about it. Scrummy.

P.S. How can anything be "freezing" on a "balmy" January day?

 

[steve1234]

P.S. How can anything be "freezing" on a "balmy" January day?

It's all down to how one relates to the other. If for example the mean temp for Jan in your neck of the woods is -10, and the temp on Jan 15 is +2, then this would be considered balmy. Glad to have helped.

My opinion is that until Gerrard becomes somewhat consistant, he will be second string to Lampard. He is no doubt blossoming this year, but he has still had a few shockers.

 

[club_i_champ]

My opinion is that until Gerrard becomes somewhat consistant, he will be second string to Lampard. He is no doubt blossoming this year, but he has still had a few shockers.

England vs. France rings a bell

 

[Dapotayto]

Please stop talking about Lampard's arse. It makes my ringpiece twitch like a sparrow dying in the snow just thinking about it

I'm not sure what you're on about now. It's all Greek to me. On a side note, I wonder how you would play that little saying out in charades? Could be a toughy. Ah, shite, there I go being pseudo-intellectual again. I hope Steve doesn't psue (pspelling?) me.

As for Europe's top strikers, I have to disagree with Dopeashell. My top strikers ever are:

1) My Dad- What a natural striker! Once he struck me so hard I lost my ability to aim when I pee. Fortunately, after frequent watersport sessions with a dominatrix I can hit a target again. Only mouths and/or genitals though.

2) My Grandma- The old biddy was the perfect combination of the world's top forwards. She had Maradona's height, George Best's discipline, Beckham's left foot, Van Basten's knees, Ronaldinho's teeth, Zidane's hair, Ronaldo's fitness, Bambi's skating ability and the finish of a eunuch in a brothel. Fcuking bril-yent. She would tear the Champions League apart.

3) My Sister- The best striker of a ball ever. One time, after decapitating her dolly, she kicked me in the nuts so hard one of my testes fell clean off. Thank god for advancements in testicle prosthetics I tell you.

 

[terrytoo]

It's all down to how one relates to the other. If for example the mean temp for Jan in your neck of the woods is -10, and the temp on Jan 15 is +2, then this would be considered balmy. Glad to have helped.

My opinion is that until Gerrard becomes somewhat consistant, he will be second string to Lampard. He is no doubt blossoming this year, but he has still had a few shockers.

Cheers for that, Michael Fish. Perhaps we've found your talent afterall?

Not weather, but things being related to one another. Like your Mum and Dad, for instance.

"Somewhat consistent." I like that, that's good.

Like the opinions of dopeashell, opinions which trampled all over my toes, I find yours, Dapotayto, equally upsetting. Your selections for Champions League strikers reek of homophobia. Your father wouldn't have beaten you quite so severely had he not been trapped in a heterosexual relationship with your mother, the truth of his secret life hidden from most. His vicar knew. And so did most of the clergy. It's why he did so much work for charity. In my younger days, I did a fair share of relief work in Mozambique (until the police closed the club down) and whenever I see a "wet floor" in a supermarket, I always oblige.

I do agree with your comment about prosthetic testicles. Since I had mine implanted I need a wheelbarrow to cart them around SoHo.

While I wait for that humourless and utterly pointless chap to post last night's UEFA Cup results for me, here are my top Champions League strikers (using the revolutionary method of considering who has scored the most goals in this season's competition):

UEFA Champions League
Ruud van Nistelrooy (Manchester United)
8
Roy Makaay (Bayern Munich)
7
Thierry Henry (Arsenal)
5
Obafemi Martins (Internazionale)
5
Michael Essien (Lyon)
5
Sylvain Wiltord (Lyon)
5
Ivan Klasnic (Werder Bremen)
5
Tuncay Sanli (Fenerbahce)
5
John Terry (Chelsea)
4
Hernan Crespo (Milan)
4
Steve Bull (Wolves)
0

 

[steve1234]

Thanks for listing the top scorers. I'd had trouble locating that.
Top notch Terry, keep up the good work.

For more totally useless tripe try here.tels posts

 

[zenga]

Terrytoo just for you!

Inter 3
Porto 1

Adriano with a hatrick for the NERAZZURRI!!!

So the teams in the quartefinals are:

Inter
Milan
Juventus
Chelsea
Liverpool
PSV
Lyon
Bayern Munich.

The draw for the quater finals is on Friday.

 

[bertrum]

The color commentator for ESPN in the Porto vs Inter game today was absolutely useless! Full stop.

 

[terrytoo]

Ta for that, Zenga. Still waiting to hear the UEFA Cup results from last week. They play again tomorrow night, you know. Even the sackless Countdown Conundrum's time-delayed internet service will have provided him the result by then. Why do something if you're not going to do it properly?

Or is that all part of your avant-garde pisstake?

The color commentator for ESPN in the Porto vs Inter game today was absolutely useless! Full stop.

Why not watch the football on Sky then? What the merry hell's a colour (or "color" since you're a yank) commentator? Is he obliged to talk about the black/asian players at the expense of other ethnic hues? At least he had a very well-taken hat-trick from Adriano to talk about.

Full stop.

End of transmission.

 

[zenga]

2004/05 UEFA Champions League quarter-finals

1 Liverpool FC v Juventus FC
2 AC Milan v FC Internazionale Milano
3 Olympique Lyonnais v PSV Eindhoven
4 Chelsea FC v FC Bayern München

 

[Regs]

Predictions:

Juve
Tie (ACM)
Lyon
Chelsea

An all-WOP final would suck.

 

[Fastshow]

Bayern Munich may just have scraped through to the Champions League quarter-finals to face the second-best side in Stanley Park, but the team is already assured of something to stick in the trophy cabinet this season — the Shouting World Record.


A tearful Munich goalie Oliver Kahn received the honour at a post-match ceremony which saw an inexperienced cub reporter taken away with blood coming from his ears after failing to wear the obligatory ear defenders. Speaking from behind a protective sound-baffling concrete screen, special guests John McEnroe and Sir Alex Ferguson praised Kahn's "absolute committment and professionalism" in snatching the title from previous holder A Hitler — still much admired for his legendary 1938 Nuremberg Rally shoutathon.

Recent post-match statistics revelead that Kahn had shouted continuously for the full 90 minutes of the Arsenal tie. Indeed, his teammates later revealed that he had begun to shout six hours before the match, while boarding a plane to London. He continued to bellow at the luggage carousel at Heathrow airport, exhorting it to greater velocity in disgorging his luggage, and thundered incessantly on the transit coach to Highbury. Bayern coach Felix Magath told deafened onlookers: "Oliver gave it 100 per cent, make no mistake. He only stopped shouting for around 30 seconds, just before the game, and that was to take a sip of water and suck on a throat lozenge. The man's a professional's professional."

Close friends of Kahn say that his training for the challenge has bordered on the obsessive. "He starts training at 5am with a light barrage directed at his family and doesn't finish until 11pm when he can be found practising his full-volume technique on some Bierkeller waitress," admitted one partially-deaf drinking buddy. "He'll then bark directions at his regular taxi driver who sits inside a soundproof booth in a specially-reinforced Mercedes."

Reporters tried to ring Kahn this morning for a comment on the honour but were met with a tremendous and incomprehensible roaring which completely destroyed the telephone switchboard.

 

[walls]

Predictions:

Juve
Tie (ACM)
Lyon
Chelsea

An all-WOP final would suck.

totally agree........except for the last statement!!