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British Athletes vs N. American Pro Athletes
- Thread starter Guinness
- Start date
half-cokced.........
I won't stand for this whatsoever. As a Super-Duper Moderator I feel it my duty to give short shrift to any nonsense talk of a Republic of TTP. I know the Captain would prefer, as I would, to have a democratically elected TTP Monarchy. Jinky can be King, that I will allow and even endorse though quite what Ballbaby will say about it all I'm unsure.
The obvious trouble with my constitutional monarchy idea is the toil and strife needed to separate all the TTP Queens and Princesses. That could take fcuking ages.
Dapotayto: yours is a fair assessment of the 'boro though it occurs to me that you've kept your affiliation with the Meralomas on the Q T all this time. Fair enough, I suppose, as being part of that side is tantamount to being spotted leaving a VD clinic. The only example I can find of them playing well ever was sure to have been by accident and that was when they beat Peg/Olys last year. I'm still trying to recover from that, you know.
When is your argument vis a vis superior athleticism in the (barely) organised padded and pyjammaed wank-a-thon that is American Football going to happen? I don't have all day, you know, 'Loma.
What's it like having KNVB as your boss?
I won't stand for this whatsoever. As a Super-Duper Moderator I feel it my duty to give short shrift to any nonsense talk of a Republic of TTP. I know the Captain would prefer, as I would, to have a democratically elected TTP Monarchy. Jinky can be King, that I will allow and even endorse though quite what Ballbaby will say about it all I'm unsure.
The obvious trouble with my constitutional monarchy idea is the toil and strife needed to separate all the TTP Queens and Princesses. That could take fcuking ages.
Dapotayto: yours is a fair assessment of the 'boro though it occurs to me that you've kept your affiliation with the Meralomas on the Q T all this time. Fair enough, I suppose, as being part of that side is tantamount to being spotted leaving a VD clinic. The only example I can find of them playing well ever was sure to have been by accident and that was when they beat Peg/Olys last year. I'm still trying to recover from that, you know.
When is your argument vis a vis superior athleticism in the (barely) organised padded and pyjammaed wank-a-thon that is American Football going to happen? I don't have all day, you know, 'Loma.
What's it like having KNVB as your boss?
I don't even have a clue what a Meraloma might be. Isn't that some kind of epidermal cancer brought on by excessive exposure to the sun? Whatever. Here is a short outline of Jerry Rice's workout. Rice is forty years old and an NFL football player who has reached the top of his profession. Similar workouts are followed by legions of NFL players including several in their late 30's.
Rice's six-day-a-week workout is divided into two parts: two hours of cardiovascular work in the morning and three hours of strength training each afternoon. Early in the off-season, the a.m. segment consists of a five-mile trail run near San Carlos on a torturous course called, simply, The Hill. But since five vertical miles can hardly be considered a workout, he pauses on the steepest section to do a series of ten 40-meter uphill sprints. As the season approaches, however, Rice knows it's time to start conserving energy — so he forgoes The Hill and instead merely does a couple of sprints: six 100-yarders, six 80s, six 60s, six 40s, six 20s, and 16 tens, with no rest between sprints and just two and a half minutes between sets.
For the p.m. sessions he alternates between upper-body and lower-body days. But no matter which half of his body he's working on, the volume is always the same: three sets of ten reps of 21 different exercises. Yes, your calculator's right: That's 630 repetitions a day.
Rice's six-day-a-week workout is divided into two parts: two hours of cardiovascular work in the morning and three hours of strength training each afternoon. Early in the off-season, the a.m. segment consists of a five-mile trail run near San Carlos on a torturous course called, simply, The Hill. But since five vertical miles can hardly be considered a workout, he pauses on the steepest section to do a series of ten 40-meter uphill sprints. As the season approaches, however, Rice knows it's time to start conserving energy — so he forgoes The Hill and instead merely does a couple of sprints: six 100-yarders, six 80s, six 60s, six 40s, six 20s, and 16 tens, with no rest between sprints and just two and a half minutes between sets.
For the p.m. sessions he alternates between upper-body and lower-body days. But no matter which half of his body he's working on, the volume is always the same: three sets of ten reps of 21 different exercises. Yes, your calculator's right: That's 630 repetitions a day.
Here is a picture of Matt LeTissier. Matt was a professional footballer who played for England and had reached the top of his profession. Legions of british footballers follow a similar workout routine to Matt's. Sadly, Matt is just into his 30's and his career is over. Details of Matt's workout regimen are, surely, not required.
raging debate.........
Got it in one, well played, though it could be argued you spelled 'son' wrong.
I'm overwhelmingly impressed by your man's San Carlos workout though must admit I spent more time wondering where San Carlos was than I did speculating about the great man's athletic superiority. I still fail to see any relevant correlation between athleticism and physical stamina. As such, your LeTiss 'argument' falls flat back into the arse from which it came. LeTiss dominated at the very highest level of football and, with the greatest respect to the man's fitness regime or lack thereof, his dominance stemmed from his natural ability, not from running up and down a cleverly named 'hill'. Coupled with the fact I imagine San Carlos is a tricky commute for a Channel Islander (LeTiss could also have played for France), your argument, until you prove otherwise, in the words of the great man, is moot.
You've proved one American Footballer has impressive, almost sado-masochistic, stamina. Good one.
I'm feeling charitable today so I've put some effort into this. I thought you'd be pleased about that. I'll never get these ten minutes back, you know.
To the best of my knowledge, no American footballer, apart from the wide receiver, has to run more than about 5 yards a 'play'.
The player combining the most all round combination of speed and size in the NFL is probably Junior Seau. At least that's what my ten minute research sesh has suggested. Humour me, I can't stand the game. I am, however, far more interested with his father's name; presumably, Senior Seau. 'S.S.' to his mates. Anyway, Jr. is, incidentally, about 40lb lighter than Jonah Lomu of the NZ all blacks, who weighs around 270lb and clocks 10.7 secs for 100m. Lomu would be an awesome American footballer just as his athleticism would lend itself to any sport. Dallas Cowboys tried to sign him, and they, charitably, should know what they are talking about. Wendell Sailor is a fantastic Rugby Leaguer with a superlative name as well, as is Jason Robinson of England who has played both rugby codes for his country. Nobody, in either American football or rugby of any form, can accelerate and side step the way Robinson can. It has to be seen to be believed. Not even Jinky. These guys, if they had been unlucky and had been brought up playing American football would all make the NFL, for what it's worth, and be stars. The vast majority of the players playing international rugby for the top teams would have the potential to be very useful American footballers even given the 'sports' ridiculously specialised nature.
Wide receivers in the NFL, my research has shown, are often international class sprinters. In that San Marino is a nation and, implicit in that, would be allowed to enter a sprinting team in the Olympics. Most of them are not very big, they have blockers to protect them, and there is only one guy in the whole NFL who plays in both the defensive and offensive teams (I know this because I looked it up), which means they never make any tackles. Most top international wingers in modern rugby can clock under 11 for 100m. Perhaps American Footballers have the edge in terms of raw pace but I wouldn't fancy their chances in a sprint against Lomu or Ben Cohen. At the same time, rugby players have to make all their own tackles, they have to kick, they have to pass, and they can easily run 4 miles in a game. When you're tackled in rugby, the game continues, whereas in American football it stops, which means that, as well as all that running, they have to wrestle to retain the ball.
NFL players all carry huge amounts of muscle built up in the gym, or so I'm meant to believe. Please see below to disprove this propagandised myth. In rugby, you need strength and power, but you also need serious amounts of endurance. Having loads of muscle or, more realistically, fat, just isn't compatible with this, and is, for example, the primary reason why somebody like Jonah Lomu finds himself on the bench these days and not in his country's starting XV.
Basically, this whole 'argument' is a non-starter. If the Dallas Cowboys (the only American Football side anyone outside North America has ever heard of and not for any 'sporting' reasons) ever played rugby, they'd get their cnuts kicked in by 100 points. If the NZ All Blacks ever tried American football, the opposite would be true.
I need to lie down now.
Don't even get me started on roundball. Just don't.
Got it in one, well played, though it could be argued you spelled 'son' wrong.
I'm overwhelmingly impressed by your man's San Carlos workout though must admit I spent more time wondering where San Carlos was than I did speculating about the great man's athletic superiority. I still fail to see any relevant correlation between athleticism and physical stamina. As such, your LeTiss 'argument' falls flat back into the arse from which it came. LeTiss dominated at the very highest level of football and, with the greatest respect to the man's fitness regime or lack thereof, his dominance stemmed from his natural ability, not from running up and down a cleverly named 'hill'. Coupled with the fact I imagine San Carlos is a tricky commute for a Channel Islander (LeTiss could also have played for France), your argument, until you prove otherwise, in the words of the great man, is moot.
You've proved one American Footballer has impressive, almost sado-masochistic, stamina. Good one.
I'm feeling charitable today so I've put some effort into this. I thought you'd be pleased about that. I'll never get these ten minutes back, you know.
To the best of my knowledge, no American footballer, apart from the wide receiver, has to run more than about 5 yards a 'play'.
The player combining the most all round combination of speed and size in the NFL is probably Junior Seau. At least that's what my ten minute research sesh has suggested. Humour me, I can't stand the game. I am, however, far more interested with his father's name; presumably, Senior Seau. 'S.S.' to his mates. Anyway, Jr. is, incidentally, about 40lb lighter than Jonah Lomu of the NZ all blacks, who weighs around 270lb and clocks 10.7 secs for 100m. Lomu would be an awesome American footballer just as his athleticism would lend itself to any sport. Dallas Cowboys tried to sign him, and they, charitably, should know what they are talking about. Wendell Sailor is a fantastic Rugby Leaguer with a superlative name as well, as is Jason Robinson of England who has played both rugby codes for his country. Nobody, in either American football or rugby of any form, can accelerate and side step the way Robinson can. It has to be seen to be believed. Not even Jinky. These guys, if they had been unlucky and had been brought up playing American football would all make the NFL, for what it's worth, and be stars. The vast majority of the players playing international rugby for the top teams would have the potential to be very useful American footballers even given the 'sports' ridiculously specialised nature.
Wide receivers in the NFL, my research has shown, are often international class sprinters. In that San Marino is a nation and, implicit in that, would be allowed to enter a sprinting team in the Olympics. Most of them are not very big, they have blockers to protect them, and there is only one guy in the whole NFL who plays in both the defensive and offensive teams (I know this because I looked it up), which means they never make any tackles. Most top international wingers in modern rugby can clock under 11 for 100m. Perhaps American Footballers have the edge in terms of raw pace but I wouldn't fancy their chances in a sprint against Lomu or Ben Cohen. At the same time, rugby players have to make all their own tackles, they have to kick, they have to pass, and they can easily run 4 miles in a game. When you're tackled in rugby, the game continues, whereas in American football it stops, which means that, as well as all that running, they have to wrestle to retain the ball.
NFL players all carry huge amounts of muscle built up in the gym, or so I'm meant to believe. Please see below to disprove this propagandised myth. In rugby, you need strength and power, but you also need serious amounts of endurance. Having loads of muscle or, more realistically, fat, just isn't compatible with this, and is, for example, the primary reason why somebody like Jonah Lomu finds himself on the bench these days and not in his country's starting XV.
Basically, this whole 'argument' is a non-starter. If the Dallas Cowboys (the only American Football side anyone outside North America has ever heard of and not for any 'sporting' reasons) ever played rugby, they'd get their cnuts kicked in by 100 points. If the NZ All Blacks ever tried American football, the opposite would be true.
I need to lie down now.
Don't even get me started on roundball. Just don't.
Fastshow, I am very impressed at the effort you have put into your reply. It took me a while to read it during episodes of Tony Hawk 4 on the PS2 this morning. I think it was after I had to do a particularly difficult combo (grind grind manual rail slide nose manual grind grind grind griiiiiinnnnnnddd raaaaaiiiilllllsslllllliddde manual heelflip kickflip manual manual grind varial 540 mctwist) that I realised I have gone from wasting ten seconds of your time to wasting ten minutes of your time. Do I get some kind of award for that? You must like arguing even more than me. Did Le Tit really dominate at the highest level of football though, fasty? He played for Saints once in a while and England, what, once maybe? He talked a good game though, one time saying he thought he could play for Brazil and not look out of place. Ya, and I'll be playing for Liverpool next year. Look for me, it'll be Gerrard and I in the center of midfield. Anyway, to get back on topic, do you think it's ethical for me at thirty-two years of age do date a girl who is nineteen years old? I mean, I look about twelve so that compensates right? What am I saying? Hot is hot, and if they're good enough they're old enough. You do present a very strong argument for rugby players. In fact, I have to say you make a compelling case for the athleticism of ALL rugby players. I was under the impression that this thread was about British footballers though. Hey, you would be a British footballer, yes? And before I topped out at 150 lb (just under 11 stone, limey weight) I was playing American style football (Dapotayto, all-american quarterback, don't you know). That means there is a way to solve this. Handbags at ten paces.
Sorry it took so long to reply or participate in this dialogue but I just finished reading the posts-that-never end 
The British footballer is at a deficit.
In a nutshell, British footballers have very restricted circulatory systems and are prone to turning different shades of blue quickly. They bath communally and are very liberal in who they share these baths with. As a result, deep rooted fungal infections are rampant and certainly hinder a maximized athletic performance.
British footballers also suffer in the off-season when they travel abroad to soak in the sun after suffering a cold and humid season. Sun screen and sun lotion are synonymous to them, whatever is cheaper, and it is not unusual to see a British footballer sitting on the beach in Portugal, with his wife peeling layers upon layers of skin from his back. It is only when the lumbar vertebrae are exposed does the alarm bell sound that perhaps it is time to leave the beach and seek medical attention.
British footballers are prone to slurring and spitting (ie Captain Shamrock) when they become intoxicated. They suffer from hiatal hernias and a fresh smell of undecisive vomit always accompanies any conversation in a pub. Hence, the spitting, the smell of vomitus, and unclear conversation often leads to fights and conflicts in these pubs that certainly attract media attention.
British footballers have to deal with their psychotic legions of unemployed fans who somehow scrape enough money to get a tattoo on their forehead or scrawny arm or calf. Although unemployed, these fans are quite literate and clever, and can whip up a song degrading the footballer and his family in the most hurtful way. Somehow, someway, the British footballer's sexual preference is discovered, and these unemployed legions of fans go for the jugular if the footballer is found to be a pillow-biter. The British footballer is prone to being a pillow-biter. It is said that the many stouts and ales that the footballer's mother indulged herself while carrying the fetal footballer, enhanced the concentration of the hormone estrogen into the mother's system, and of course into the fetal footballer's system. Hence, the lack of hair and sad excuse for moustaches on a British footballer's face, and more extreme, the tendency to bite pillows.
As you can see, I wouldn't want the trial and tribulations of being a British footballer. Thank goodness I am not.
I am happy that I can contribute to this discussion.
The British footballer is at a deficit.
In a nutshell, British footballers have very restricted circulatory systems and are prone to turning different shades of blue quickly. They bath communally and are very liberal in who they share these baths with. As a result, deep rooted fungal infections are rampant and certainly hinder a maximized athletic performance.
British footballers also suffer in the off-season when they travel abroad to soak in the sun after suffering a cold and humid season. Sun screen and sun lotion are synonymous to them, whatever is cheaper, and it is not unusual to see a British footballer sitting on the beach in Portugal, with his wife peeling layers upon layers of skin from his back. It is only when the lumbar vertebrae are exposed does the alarm bell sound that perhaps it is time to leave the beach and seek medical attention.
British footballers are prone to slurring and spitting (ie Captain Shamrock) when they become intoxicated. They suffer from hiatal hernias and a fresh smell of undecisive vomit always accompanies any conversation in a pub. Hence, the spitting, the smell of vomitus, and unclear conversation often leads to fights and conflicts in these pubs that certainly attract media attention.
British footballers have to deal with their psychotic legions of unemployed fans who somehow scrape enough money to get a tattoo on their forehead or scrawny arm or calf. Although unemployed, these fans are quite literate and clever, and can whip up a song degrading the footballer and his family in the most hurtful way. Somehow, someway, the British footballer's sexual preference is discovered, and these unemployed legions of fans go for the jugular if the footballer is found to be a pillow-biter. The British footballer is prone to being a pillow-biter. It is said that the many stouts and ales that the footballer's mother indulged herself while carrying the fetal footballer, enhanced the concentration of the hormone estrogen into the mother's system, and of course into the fetal footballer's system. Hence, the lack of hair and sad excuse for moustaches on a British footballer's face, and more extreme, the tendency to bite pillows.
As you can see, I wouldn't want the trial and tribulations of being a British footballer. Thank goodness I am not.
I am happy that I can contribute to this discussion.
Re: Footnote.
WITH BULLYB ALL THE WAYOriginally posted by BullyB
The British footballer is not at a deficit.
Perhaps if your Scottish, but the EPL is the most entertaining football in the world and that's the whole point, isn't it?
Captain Shamrock
Well-Known Member
For the 1000th time.....
I'm not fcuking British. You're Turkish, right? You wouldn't want to be called a Greek, would you?
I'm not fcuking British. You're Turkish, right? You wouldn't want to be called a Greek, would you?
cracker.......
There's no need to swear for fcuk's sake. Roundball is football. A game played with a round ball, you see. With the feet. Back to the virtual skateboarding with you. I could quite happily have a pitched argument with an empty room (and often do when my tablets wear off) so long may this nonsense continue. There's been too much peace and love on TTP of late and its' dark cloud has shaded my soul. Or something. Good work.
Le Tiss played for an awful side his entire career. Had he played for almost any other side he would/should have been an England regular every time. Southampton, with the possible exception of Sunderland, is the footballing equivalent of Ballbaby's wardrobe. Even Saint would agree with that if he ever comes out of hiding. He hates Ballbaby's clothes, he told me so himself.
I like your idea of virtual handbags. I take it you do most things virtually? Ethics don't, to my knowledge, play a part in relationships with mythical, virtual 19 year-old girls, hot or not. You'd have to leave your front room for that. I'm flattered you'd come to me with ethical queries. You clearly don't know me.
The way Liverpool's going this season you may be in with a shout. Again, you'd have to leave your front room, however. It occurs to me that 'Gerrard and I' sounds like a particularly high-brow 'art' film they'd show at The Sundance Film Festival. 'Art' masquerading as gay porn.
Balls, one word: envy. It shines through in your posts. What also shines through is your mastery of TTP. I didn't vote for you for piss-taker of 2002 nothing, you know. I deliberated long and hard (ooer) about my decision. You make me so proud. I've never encountered a Kurd quite like you in all my travels.
I'm intrigued about 'undecisive vomit'. Is that bilious matter which doesn't know whether it's coming or going? A new nickname for Guinness, perhaps.
There's no need to swear for fcuk's sake. Roundball is football. A game played with a round ball, you see. With the feet. Back to the virtual skateboarding with you. I could quite happily have a pitched argument with an empty room (and often do when my tablets wear off) so long may this nonsense continue. There's been too much peace and love on TTP of late and its' dark cloud has shaded my soul. Or something. Good work.
Le Tiss played for an awful side his entire career. Had he played for almost any other side he would/should have been an England regular every time. Southampton, with the possible exception of Sunderland, is the footballing equivalent of Ballbaby's wardrobe. Even Saint would agree with that if he ever comes out of hiding. He hates Ballbaby's clothes, he told me so himself.
I like your idea of virtual handbags. I take it you do most things virtually? Ethics don't, to my knowledge, play a part in relationships with mythical, virtual 19 year-old girls, hot or not. You'd have to leave your front room for that. I'm flattered you'd come to me with ethical queries. You clearly don't know me.
The way Liverpool's going this season you may be in with a shout. Again, you'd have to leave your front room, however. It occurs to me that 'Gerrard and I' sounds like a particularly high-brow 'art' film they'd show at The Sundance Film Festival. 'Art' masquerading as gay porn.
Balls, one word: envy. It shines through in your posts. What also shines through is your mastery of TTP. I didn't vote for you for piss-taker of 2002 nothing, you know. I deliberated long and hard (ooer) about my decision. You make me so proud. I've never encountered a Kurd quite like you in all my travels.
I'm intrigued about 'undecisive vomit'. Is that bilious matter which doesn't know whether it's coming or going? A new nickname for Guinness, perhaps.
Your post is laughable. Did I say that right? I meant to say it made me laugh alot. As did Ballbaby's. Virtually fcuking hilarious Hey, I was wondering what kind of argument you would come up with if the title of the thread was North American Footballers vs. British Athletes. You'd virtually have reams of things you could spout on about. For example, there is the truckloads (sorry Lorryloads) of gold medals the 'Brits' have won in the last few olympics. Start with that girl from Eire who took Steroids. Then there's that sprinter from Engerland who didn't take steroids (according to his lawyer). Then after that there is...er...um...oh ya, that Eddie the Eagle guy, as well as...uh...fcuk, wasn't there some well-known runner about 30 years ago from England. Well, I must say, it's a good thing you have a few countries competing under one flag or the medal tallies could be a little on the thin side (unlike Fat Matt). One Canadian province, Quebec, wins more medals than the whole of Britain. O.k., so Quebec wins more medals than the rest of Canada combined, so what? That's what we keep them around for (besides also being our best source of squeegee kids/fruit pickers and construction workers). But you know, I bet the Newfies have more successful athletes than the Brits. Fcuk, they can outdrink y'all too. As for the abilities of North American footballers? Well, we do have the VMSL.
Hey, I was wondering what kind of argument you would come up with if the title of the thread was North American Footballers vs. British Athletes. You'd virtually have reams of things you could spout on about. For example, there is the truckloads (sorry Lorryloads) of gold medals the 'Brits' have won in the last few olympics. Start with that girl from Eire who took Steroids. Then there's that sprinter from Engerland who didn't take steroids (according to his lawyer). Then after that there is...er...um...oh ya, that Eddie the Eagle guy, as well as...uh...fcuk, wasn't there some well-known runner about 30 years ago from England. Well, I must say, it's a good thing you have a few countries competing under one flag or the medal tallies could be a little on the thin side (unlike Fat Matt). One Canadian province, Quebec, wins more medals than the whole of Britain. O.k., so Quebec wins more medals than the rest of Canada combined, so what? That's what we keep them around for (besides also being our best source of squeegee kids/fruit pickers and construction workers). But you know, I bet the Newfies have more successful athletes than the Brits. Fcuk, they can outdrink y'all too. As for the abilities of North American footballers? Well, we do have the VMSL.Latest posts
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