Brainteasers

[knvb]

Here are a few brain-teasers for the masses. I will offer up a Pint of anything on tap at the next TTP function for the first person to reach 45 points. Questions are worth 5 per.

The thread will remain open until I have a correct answer. I'll try and start one a day or new ones as they get answered. I'll drop hints for the harder ones.

Note: Use your lateral thinking caps and good luck.





Three mature and hefty women (call them fat if you like) were walking in San Francisco under one regular-size umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

 

[Fastshow]

Jesus.........

It's too early in the day for this shite. They didn't get wet because it wasn't raining.

Fcuking fat dykes.

When do the brainteasers start?

 

[Saint]

...

A plane flying from Mexico to the good ol’ USofA - half the passengers on the plane are from Mexico and the other half are fro…ah, fcuk it.

Another potential member falls by the wayside, Fastshow. Will it forever remain only the three of us?

 

[Fastshow]

it's five o'clock somewhere.........

It's a bit early in the day to be pissed isn't it, Saint?

Three members? Have you been on a recruiting drive of late? Forgive me if I'm missing something blatantly (even glaringly) obvious but it's this infernal lateral thinking cap knvb is insisting I wear.

 

[knvb]

I'm not driving if Fastshow plans a night at the races to get his free pint.

Correct. It wasn't raining.

The Police found a murder victim and they noticed a pair of tire tracks leading to and from the body. They followed the tracks to a nearby farmhuose where two men and a woman were sitting on the porch. There was no car at the farhouse and none of the three could drive. The police arrested the woman. Why?

 

[friedbread]

she was in a wheelchair........................ , does this mean im in the same catagorie as fastshow

 

[knvb]

Why? Are you drunk at work as well?

Correct.... This isn't going as planned.


Why does an elderly lady receive a court order to go to school immediately?

 

[Fastshow]

illiteracy abounds.......

First off, by capitalising 'The Police' are you referring to the popular 1980's beat combo fronted by yogic flyer and all-round tantric poster-boy, Sting?

By your bastardisation of farmhouse, I can't even be sure the three aren't sitting on a 'Porche' but, to hazard a guess, maybe the murderous bitch was a spac in a wheelchair?

This game sucks, I'm slashing the seats.

 

[knvb]

Shut up...

 

[Fastshow]

?!

Sort yourself out. First you're on about mature women, now it's elderly split-arses. Something you'd like to talk about? Fetish.

Hazarding another guess, she's probably your Gran and the local authorities have caught up to her for not sending you to school and for you turning out the way you have. Shoc-king, as you say.

Maybe she's the lollypop lady who helps the kiddies across the road. Fcuked if I know and quite why I've allowed you to drag me into this strange world of old, fat and murderous women you've created for yourself is anyone's guess. I'm off to the pub in half an hour. Miss me?

 

[knvb]

Fastshow and Saint were accused of murder. In a court trial, Saint had been acquitted and Fastshow had been found guilty. When the judge had to sentence Fastshow, he said, "This is the strangest case that I have ever Presided over. Even though you have been found guilty, the law obliges me to set you free." Can you explain this?

 

[Fastshow]

steward's inquiry.......

Does the judge let me go free because he finds it necessary to capitalise the 'p' in presided when, grammatically, there is no need to do so and, therefore, he is an unedumacated and fraudlent freak in a silly wig?

So what was the answer to your last gem? Eh? You run a piss-poor quiz show, you know. Regs was right about you.

 

[Reccos]

Answer

At first I thought that the person had already served more than the sentence before being found guilty, but that doesn't work.

How about they were born joined together and had not been surgically separated?

 

[Saint]

Obviously, Fastshow confessed to the murder. At his trial, I was called as the only defence witness; I confessed, in graphic detail, to having committed the crime. The defence lawyer refuses to have the trial stopped, and Fastshow is acquitted under the "reasonable doubt" clause. Immediately afterward, I go on trial for the murder; Fastshow is called as the only defence witness and he confesses. I am declared innocent; and though everyone knows that one of us did it, how can they tell whom? Further, neither of us can be convicted of perjury until it's decided which of us did it...easy.

Conspiracy doesn't exist in our world, so we'd both walk free.

Now close the book the wife bought you and do something useful with your time - like help out those poor refugees.

 

[knvb]

Fastshow,

The thread will remain open until I have a correct answer.

The thread or in this case, the question will remain open, just like your seemingly bottomless pit of Seaquam insults. Did the words Tre-men-dous, helpful, insightful, invaluable come up in your con-fab with Regs? They usually do when I'm talked about.

How about they were born joined together and had not been surgically separated?

Correct Reccos, they were Siamese twins, probably sharing the same brain as Saint and Fastshow do. Well done.

Saint, get one of those poor refugees to answer 9 brain teasers and I'll put down that book and trade that pint in for my services.

Next question...


A dog is tied to a 15-foot long leash. How can the dog reach a bone that is 20 feet away?

 

[Argyle]

the leash isn't tied to anything, he has free run!

 

[knvb]

Correct. Any guesses for this one?

Why does an elderly lady receive a court order to go to school immediately?

How can you make 30 cents with only two coins if one of the coins is not a nickel?

 

[Sliver]

You use a quarter and a nickel. One of the coins is a quarter which is not a nickel.

 

[Sliver]

Why does an elderly lady receive a court order to go to school immediately?

She is being sent to drivers school. (for retesting?)

 

[knvb]

30 cnuting cents... Correct.

Fastshows gran.... nope. Hint: She was already very old (and well educated)