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- #21
Long-winded? Cheers for that, I've been working slavishly on my stamina so I'll take that, in the manner it was intended I'm sure, as a compliment. I'm up to four minutes at two miles an hour on the treadmill and I can boast that I can now go for 18 seconds between the sheets. Now all I have to do is coerce the missus to come into bed with me. Fcuking slag's up in Edinburgh on a hen weekend isn't she, getting felt up by loads of lecherous sweaties. Good job I trust her implicitely. It's ever so quiet without her around.
It's fcuking lovely.
Did you know that, in German, windshield wipers are known as Der flippenflappenmuchken Schpredden sticken, a breathalyser is die Puffinten fur Pistenarsen and, most interestingly, seat belts are commonly referred to as der klunken-klikker Frauleintrapper?
My teutonic penfriends tell me (I find their addresses in the back pages of computing magazines) that the hood of a car is known as Pullnob und Knuckle-chopper.
I can get you gear that will, should you wish to smoke it like a Camberwell carrot, enable you to stagger down Kits beach and see enormous crickets with the fittest birds you've ever seen wrapped in their spindly legs. Just let me know and I'll send you some by way of KNVB's gaff.
To bastardise the words of the late twentieth century philosopher, David Gray, please forgive me. I meant no offence in suggesting two wimmin might be greedy, salad dodging fatties. I've never set eyes on either of them. Plus, how was I to know you were shagging one of them? Fat girls are usually bloody good shags, just don't let your mates find out. Whoops, too late.
Can't wait for the resumption of the Test Match tomorrow.
It's fcuking lovely.
Did you know that, in German, windshield wipers are known as Der flippenflappenmuchken Schpredden sticken, a breathalyser is die Puffinten fur Pistenarsen and, most interestingly, seat belts are commonly referred to as der klunken-klikker Frauleintrapper?
My teutonic penfriends tell me (I find their addresses in the back pages of computing magazines) that the hood of a car is known as Pullnob und Knuckle-chopper.
I can get you gear that will, should you wish to smoke it like a Camberwell carrot, enable you to stagger down Kits beach and see enormous crickets with the fittest birds you've ever seen wrapped in their spindly legs. Just let me know and I'll send you some by way of KNVB's gaff.
To bastardise the words of the late twentieth century philosopher, David Gray, please forgive me. I meant no offence in suggesting two wimmin might be greedy, salad dodging fatties. I've never set eyes on either of them. Plus, how was I to know you were shagging one of them? Fat girls are usually bloody good shags, just don't let your mates find out. Whoops, too late.
Can't wait for the resumption of the Test Match tomorrow.