They say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks… Case in point, my 30 years of football and my best move is still rolling the ball into a 50/50 and hope I come out with it, but I’ve had an interesting week and wanted to share with you, the faithful and committed (or should be committed) readers of Talking out my ASS, the few things I’ve pick up this week that don't require a cream to get rid of…
One: before a game you can use all the useless rhetoric you want, but if you don’t apply the “lets get stuck in”, “we don’t lose at home”, “we’ve got to put it in”, "lets be first to it" it is exactly what it is. Useless rhetoric. Two: no matter how much you train each week, no matter the amount of dribbling, juggling, passing, flicking, shooting or SAQ drills you run, nothing and I mean nothing, beats a good 40 yard thumping ball into the box. Four: never eat the brownies in the PAU chageroom and last, but not least if you’re going to try and apply a new lesson it needs to be used at right time and in the right context. More on that later.
Those little nuggets out of the way… here are some proper ones and now that I've got your attention, away we go...
Poco Rangers 1 vs LUFC 1
Even uglier than the turf conditions at Gates Park or being on the mat behind Thomas Mills during a his first hot yoga class was the football played in our first match this week.
Not that I’m a being a lazy ass, but here is a quick cut paste of the match report from my ASS I thought worth the bandwidth.
“Poco started with a depleted line up due to injuries so they were forced to send a collection of the Poco young lads to see how they fared against the high scoring League Champion Langley United. I think Langley was troubled by the pace of the Poco front 3 and struggled to keep them at bay for most of the 1st half”
“Young prospect Matt Rosenlund (18) scored on a nice goal setup from the energetic Jeremy Boileau, who was, I thought, giving Jay Newcomb fits in the 1st half.”
"Unable to convert on some other chances in the 2nd half and with Langley’s experience telling them they may still get a result, Poco faltered late in added time as ANOTHER long throw from Sean Patterson, maybe the 12th of the game, came loose at the 6 yard line and up popped Jason Flint to convert and give Langley a thoroughly undeserved point, slight exaggeration, I guess, just prior to the goal, with about 5 min left the Poco keeper did have to make a brilliant save to stifle the always dangerous Jason Jorgensen”
“Langley did well to stay in the match and grab a point late, but why they play long balls all night long baffles me?” But then again, so does good personal hygiene.
I asked my ASS if he ate William Azzi beforer writting this and he said "no, just a bean burrito and 3 Take and Bakes, I'm trying to be like Gerald." Err, your guess is as good as mine, but that aside… I’ve heard from various ASSes un-associated with this report that Langley does feel fortunate to be on 8 points, but somehow by the same token does feel they deserve all they have. Langley are, if nothing else, predictable almost to a fault, but somehow always effective in this writers opinion. Why fix what ain’t broke I say, though I seem to say a lot of stupid shite, so take that for what it’s worth.
And just because it’s not been said yet. Chuck Keeling was outstanding. And he played a heck of a match too.
Port Moody 3 ND Lions 0
Moody, finally popped their cherry.
“Not to seem cocky, but Moody is looking very good with the ball” said a 1-2-1 ASS. “Possession for us was excellent in the early goings, but once again our finishing was the problem. With the score 0-0 in the first half we kept on knocking, but couldn’t seem to find the back of the net” North Delta seemed listless and I’ve heard Moody weren’t really forced to defend many counter attacks.
A deflected "own goal" awarded to Kevin Comeau, opened the scoring, and Port Moody never really looked back. The second half was much like the first as ND never found their grove, and Port Moody kept attacking. A nifty back heel pass by Marcos Da Silva, sent Lucas Bennet in alone and a one two play with Kevin Comeau resulted in a 2-0 lead.Lucas Bennet made it 3-0 late in the match, with a wicked low drive from 30 yards out.
Congrats to Prt. Moody on their first win.
Peace Arch 4 vs ACBC 5
Much like the game even the ACBC match report was to me before I was really ready for it. The underlining theme of the day for me really. I saw how well speed worked for others that day so I tried it myself that night. My missus still won’t speak to me. I'd call that and overall sucsess and a W for on board for me, but I digress…
ACBC jumped to a dream start scoring 2 goals in just over 5 minutes. (not a typo) PAU heads were nearly spinning off their axis and what had just transpired. Clearly the “putting it in” thing was out the window and the pace of the ACBC side being the clear factor to the start.
Somehow, still in a daze PAU managed to pot a goal of their own only a few minutes after Dave Hilurka slipped a ball into a streaking Kaz Kikuchi who cleverly cut that ball across the face of goal to an on-coming Mike Evens to put home. ACBC took a another two goal lead not much more past the 15 minute mark.
The rest of the first half, 30 minutes if you're keeping track, was spent with PAU trying to deal with the ACBC pace, usually ending in PAU “trying to get stuck in”bit talked about before hand. The match was well controlled by the Ref though.
“The start of the 2nd PAU came at us hard and was just as we expected they would” said my ASS. Hilurka hittin a 10 yard blast that our Keeper Micheal Hienrick, from out of no where, stood in tough and took the point blank blast for the team off his chest. The rebound came out far enough and was cleared right to a streaking Habil Otieno down the wing where he pulled the ball across to Justin Cordick where Justin healed the ball into the low corner.(Highlight of Justins Soccer Career).”
A few minutes later as PAU were caught pressing and yet another quick break caught them short at the back and Eric Ray calmly dribbled around the PAU Keeper and passed it into the open net.
“when it was 5-2, we started to relax, (way to much; he whispered in my ear) and that with the pressure from a very experienced PAU, who knew they could come back made things way to close for my liking. To their credit they got 2 more as we stood around waiting for the final whistle. It was a super game to watch with lots of action and goals. I can only hope we learnt a thing or two on how to finish a game with a lead.” Said ACBC Manager Gablehouse
“Credit to PAU who never quit and played hard to the end”
Aldergrove 2 vs GEU 0
I didn’t not hear from my Aldergrove ASS by post time. Which is too bad, as I really, really need an adjustment and new bendy pen, ASAP!
Abbotsford 1 vs Chilliwack 4
I didn’t hear from my Abbotsford ASS before post time despite, the little ginger wanker promising me he would get his match report in this week FOR SURE. I didn’t hear from my Chilliwack ASS either, but he's not ginger so I'll let it slide.
Talking out my ASS, Player of the week is Kevin Comeau for his two goals that spurred the newly promoted Port Moody to their first FVSL Premier victory. For his effort Kevin is excused from training this week, tell them KNVB said it was okay Kevin.
An abrupt end, I’m sorry, but there you have it, the weekend that was…
One: before a game you can use all the useless rhetoric you want, but if you don’t apply the “lets get stuck in”, “we don’t lose at home”, “we’ve got to put it in”, "lets be first to it" it is exactly what it is. Useless rhetoric. Two: no matter how much you train each week, no matter the amount of dribbling, juggling, passing, flicking, shooting or SAQ drills you run, nothing and I mean nothing, beats a good 40 yard thumping ball into the box. Four: never eat the brownies in the PAU chageroom and last, but not least if you’re going to try and apply a new lesson it needs to be used at right time and in the right context. More on that later.
Those little nuggets out of the way… here are some proper ones and now that I've got your attention, away we go...
Poco Rangers 1 vs LUFC 1
Even uglier than the turf conditions at Gates Park or being on the mat behind Thomas Mills during a his first hot yoga class was the football played in our first match this week.
Not that I’m a being a lazy ass, but here is a quick cut paste of the match report from my ASS I thought worth the bandwidth.
“Poco started with a depleted line up due to injuries so they were forced to send a collection of the Poco young lads to see how they fared against the high scoring League Champion Langley United. I think Langley was troubled by the pace of the Poco front 3 and struggled to keep them at bay for most of the 1st half”
“Young prospect Matt Rosenlund (18) scored on a nice goal setup from the energetic Jeremy Boileau, who was, I thought, giving Jay Newcomb fits in the 1st half.”
"Unable to convert on some other chances in the 2nd half and with Langley’s experience telling them they may still get a result, Poco faltered late in added time as ANOTHER long throw from Sean Patterson, maybe the 12th of the game, came loose at the 6 yard line and up popped Jason Flint to convert and give Langley a thoroughly undeserved point, slight exaggeration, I guess, just prior to the goal, with about 5 min left the Poco keeper did have to make a brilliant save to stifle the always dangerous Jason Jorgensen”
“Langley did well to stay in the match and grab a point late, but why they play long balls all night long baffles me?” But then again, so does good personal hygiene.
I asked my ASS if he ate William Azzi beforer writting this and he said "no, just a bean burrito and 3 Take and Bakes, I'm trying to be like Gerald." Err, your guess is as good as mine, but that aside… I’ve heard from various ASSes un-associated with this report that Langley does feel fortunate to be on 8 points, but somehow by the same token does feel they deserve all they have. Langley are, if nothing else, predictable almost to a fault, but somehow always effective in this writers opinion. Why fix what ain’t broke I say, though I seem to say a lot of stupid shite, so take that for what it’s worth.
And just because it’s not been said yet. Chuck Keeling was outstanding. And he played a heck of a match too.
Port Moody 3 ND Lions 0
Moody, finally popped their cherry.
“Not to seem cocky, but Moody is looking very good with the ball” said a 1-2-1 ASS. “Possession for us was excellent in the early goings, but once again our finishing was the problem. With the score 0-0 in the first half we kept on knocking, but couldn’t seem to find the back of the net” North Delta seemed listless and I’ve heard Moody weren’t really forced to defend many counter attacks.
A deflected "own goal" awarded to Kevin Comeau, opened the scoring, and Port Moody never really looked back. The second half was much like the first as ND never found their grove, and Port Moody kept attacking. A nifty back heel pass by Marcos Da Silva, sent Lucas Bennet in alone and a one two play with Kevin Comeau resulted in a 2-0 lead.Lucas Bennet made it 3-0 late in the match, with a wicked low drive from 30 yards out.
Congrats to Prt. Moody on their first win.
Peace Arch 4 vs ACBC 5
Much like the game even the ACBC match report was to me before I was really ready for it. The underlining theme of the day for me really. I saw how well speed worked for others that day so I tried it myself that night. My missus still won’t speak to me. I'd call that and overall sucsess and a W for on board for me, but I digress…
ACBC jumped to a dream start scoring 2 goals in just over 5 minutes. (not a typo) PAU heads were nearly spinning off their axis and what had just transpired. Clearly the “putting it in” thing was out the window and the pace of the ACBC side being the clear factor to the start.
Somehow, still in a daze PAU managed to pot a goal of their own only a few minutes after Dave Hilurka slipped a ball into a streaking Kaz Kikuchi who cleverly cut that ball across the face of goal to an on-coming Mike Evens to put home. ACBC took a another two goal lead not much more past the 15 minute mark.
The rest of the first half, 30 minutes if you're keeping track, was spent with PAU trying to deal with the ACBC pace, usually ending in PAU “trying to get stuck in”bit talked about before hand. The match was well controlled by the Ref though.
“The start of the 2nd PAU came at us hard and was just as we expected they would” said my ASS. Hilurka hittin a 10 yard blast that our Keeper Micheal Hienrick, from out of no where, stood in tough and took the point blank blast for the team off his chest. The rebound came out far enough and was cleared right to a streaking Habil Otieno down the wing where he pulled the ball across to Justin Cordick where Justin healed the ball into the low corner.(Highlight of Justins Soccer Career).”
A few minutes later as PAU were caught pressing and yet another quick break caught them short at the back and Eric Ray calmly dribbled around the PAU Keeper and passed it into the open net.
“when it was 5-2, we started to relax, (way to much; he whispered in my ear) and that with the pressure from a very experienced PAU, who knew they could come back made things way to close for my liking. To their credit they got 2 more as we stood around waiting for the final whistle. It was a super game to watch with lots of action and goals. I can only hope we learnt a thing or two on how to finish a game with a lead.” Said ACBC Manager Gablehouse
“Credit to PAU who never quit and played hard to the end”
Aldergrove 2 vs GEU 0
I didn’t not hear from my Aldergrove ASS by post time. Which is too bad, as I really, really need an adjustment and new bendy pen, ASAP!
Abbotsford 1 vs Chilliwack 4
I didn’t hear from my Abbotsford ASS before post time despite, the little ginger wanker promising me he would get his match report in this week FOR SURE. I didn’t hear from my Chilliwack ASS either, but he's not ginger so I'll let it slide.
Talking out my ASS, Player of the week is Kevin Comeau for his two goals that spurred the newly promoted Port Moody to their first FVSL Premier victory. For his effort Kevin is excused from training this week, tell them KNVB said it was okay Kevin.
An abrupt end, I’m sorry, but there you have it, the weekend that was…
