Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings, 2007-2008

[Dude]

13. Sikh (FVSL. Last year’s final rank: not ranked). This team, staff advises, probably have some guys from the Sikh faith playing for them. First year in the Masters, and they find themselves tied for top of the table after two weeks. They host GEU next.

You have a crack staff ovr there, Sir. M.

 

[Sir M]

do what is right and have the TRUE BC Champions on the top of the List, DO IT.

hos

HOS, sorry man, I inadvertantly erased the first part of your post. Please post again if you like. It had to do with Regs revoking my rights and power and things like that. I hit the edit button instead of the quote button. Again, sorry.


Sir M.

 

[Hands of Stone]

The corruption goes deeper than I thought, SM has Powers greater than any should have, not only rankings, but the power to edit HOS posts, this must be stopped.

Again, the Mighty Rangers will not be stopped by these foolish rankings coming out of the North Shore, they are the team to beat based on last years results, make them #1, Do IT.

hosdog

 

[Sir M]

Hos, and Coach. At a staff meeting prior to the inaugeral edition of this year's (note, 2007-2008, not 2006-2007) rankings, staff argued long and hard that teams should be ranked as to recent performance, which is actually written in the Magna Carta which guides Sir M's Excellent Power Rankngs. That is why teams like SU and Cliff came out of the blocks ahead of you guys. "The Chest" insisted that your week one draw against a supposedly inferior (or not) side drop you a bit off of your pedestal: had you have won your first fixture of the year, and your second, you would have been top of the rankings. And, despite the relative strength, or lack thereof, of your league vs other leagues, you probably would have never looked back. But in 2007-2008, if you don't win your first two in the FVSL, when other teams are winning their first two in the VMSL, I am sorry to disappoint you, but you do not get to be number one. Full stop. Those are the rules.

Having said all of that, as I have remarked on this thread in the past, bribery always works. (Talk to moneyman). And, you will note that the SMEPR Magna Carta "guides" these rankings, but guidance is not absolute.

I, on behalf of Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings will promise you this: win the (Western) Canadians for British Columbia, and the following week you will be ranked number one, and then it is yours to hold or lose. In the meantime, if you want to be top of the rankings, do not tie games you should have won.

Sorry if that sounds blunt, but the rankings are a performance based rating system, much like Sir M's home life.

That is why I basically live in the guest house and go walk like an hour to get my car each morning.

Sir M.

 

[Scottyshell]

Well put Sir M..

Cheers!

 

[moneyman]

Well put Sir M..

Cheers!

I must agree with Scottyshell bravo our Lordship Sir M. Hos The Lordship Sir M has the same business model as $$$MAN excellence is rewarded while unsatisfactory performances are not. Now back to business Sir M the Lordship I have talked to Queen and we are going to get you Knighted to make the title official. Oh yeah did you get that rather thick envelope with GEU Thunder at the top of the list 3 wins 0 losses Sir M has to put us at the top.


$$$MAN MAXIMUS

 

[twoleftfeet]

OK..so P.A. gets the # 2 spot based on what? Picking up a few fellas from Metro? You guys really are full of yourselves and all that.. two wins against White Rock and ABBY? and a TIE against the ButtRangers...who aren't even ranked #1?? I surmise SirM has friends on the squad (or a few wooley ones in the barn) and the FIX is in....why else would he drive out to ABBOTSFORD to watch what everyone knew was going to be a slaughter...I think MoneyMan has gotten to him....I smell something...other than Jordys unwashed summer gear thats still in his bag....If you don't beleive me just look...

My god man, haven't you ever witnessed one of P.A.'s midseasonmeltdowns...we all know they're as delicate as Petals metrosexual wardrobe.


Petal-Jordy-stunningrunt-5beertits

Well, at least Popbitch has got style


DeathOrGlory

 

[Sir M]

Busted. Sir M actually did not drive to Abbotsford...(as SCDMTC Blonde would say...Hello!!)

I was actually graciously hosted up at the country estate of Moneyman, for an exquisite Sunday dinner.

I got to look at some of his Arabian stallions, beautiful animals really.

We then retired to the library for some cognac and cigars, and had discussions, about a number of different topics.

It was a fine evening.

 

[Scottyshell]

What's that commercial again??? Oh yeah.."there's a hand in your pocket....."

Cheers!

 

[moneyman]

What's that commercial again??? Oh yeah.."there's a hand in your pocket....."

Cheers!

No Scottyshell the difference is $$$MAN puts money in your pocket he doesn't take away! It is called Shangri-la do you see the happiness and karma following GEU Thunder I bet you didn't know that could be bought too!



$$$MAN MAXIMUS

p.s If You can't beat them, join them!

 

[Sir M]

Three weeks into this season, and it is looking as if the rankings are going to be as hotly contested and as competitive as Skanky CDMTC Blonde at closing time at the Lynnwood. It appears thus far that in the VMSL, games are generally quite close, which means the slightest slip-ups can cost valuable rankings positioning. And in the FVSL, some games are, em, a bit less competitive so far this year. One other thing, staff have asked me to pass on, again, the criteria for the rankings. These are recent form, quality of opposition and league, and finally, a very small dose of who staff thinks is better based on performance and personnel over the last year, or who Sir M personally likes or dislikes. The final barometer holds the least weight, with significant weight placed on the first two criteria. There may or may not be points deducted for running up scores into double digits on struggling teams new to your league who kindly joined in to keep your league afloat only to be rewarded with being stomped into the ground repeatedly.

Finally, let me comment on this bribery issue. Staff operate with the utmost of integrity, and certainly Sir M himself will never take a bribe that you know of. So, having said all of that, it is time now for the second edition of the real deal..

This week’s edition of:

Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:

1. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 5). Despite staff member Hose’s acrimonious comments about these very rankings (along with pretty well everything else this side of the Atlantic), the Provincial Cup finalists move up a big four spots after winning a big away game at Metro Ford this week. Away to Cracovia next.

2. Peace Arch United. (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 2). Beat a team called the Ancient Mariners 10-0 on the weekend. At home to Sikh next. No further comment.

3. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 1). Down two spots after dropping a couple of points at Westside. Unfortunately some of their big summer signings are not fit to play presently. Away again this weekend, this time to Cliff Avenue.

4. S.F.C. Rangers (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 4). Squeezed out a tough 2-1 win against a tough Aldergrove side at home on Friday. Big road trip to Mission this coming weekend. (Picture yourself behind the wheel of a 1973 Mustang II. Throw in a three thousand horsepower engine, some high octane fuel, traveling down a quarter mile race track at 180 miles an hour with your front wheels three feet in the air, and you ask yourself one question: “what the hell am I doing here…”)

5. Cliff Ave. United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 3). Cliff dropped their first points of the season, drawing at ones with Sapperton, and, as a result drop two spots. Host Surrey United this weekend. A victory, staff predict, will move them up in these rankings.

6. Westside (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 6). Tied Surrey at home on Sunday over at Quilchena (PS ColemanJ that park is way east of Alma). This side appears to be improved, are younger, and have, well, smaller waist sizes this year. Away to West Van on Friday evening.

7. ICSF Inter (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 8). Their defeat of PCOV keeps this team undefeated. Staff are reporting that this side may have signed a player with one letter for a last name...similar to Sir M, or Sheila E for that matter.

8. Golden Ears Thunder (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 14). Their defeat of the Sikh-sters make them the only undefeated and untied team (save for see rank # 15 below) in these rankings. So, welcome to the top ten gentlemen. They host the Mighty All Blacks next, potential MOTW.

9. Vancouver Firefighters (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 12). Staff report that a brilliant 28 yard strike from a fleet of foot outside back sealed Cracovia’s fate on the weekend, and gave the 2005-2006 Provincial Champs a much needed victory. Home to PCOV next.

10. Coquitlam Metro Ford Wolves (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 7). A home loss on the weekend to Columbus drops this all white with a bit of black trim (OK but enough about Sir M’s dye job) team down. Host Inter next, a chance to move right back up.

11. Sapperton Rovers (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 11). Does this team have new kit this year or are they still wearing the Ron Burgundys? (Excellent choice for drinking wine though). Forged out a tie against Cliff on the weekend. Away to Wickham this Friday. They will come around, staff predict.

12. West Van FC (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 17). Their victory over a struggling Wickham on Friday moves them up. Host Westside on the weekend in a classic goaltending matchup.

13. Aldergrove United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 9). This side drops after losing a tight one (almost as bad as a lamb going missing) to Surrey FC. Away to a to put it mildly struggling White Rock this week. Will they do what DMU did, or will they do the right thing?

14. Portuguese Club of Vancouver (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 10). This team, one representing a club with a membership consisting of a number of people with one eyebrow, sustained their second straight loss to a team staffed by with a number of people with wonderful hair. Away to a team with a number of people with rather bushy moustaches and hairy forearms next.

15. Richmond United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). This Richmond side, a team that was relegated from the VMSL Premier Masters Division last year, has kept together their core group, including the venerable T-Idiot, and have come out of the blocks 3-0-0 this season in Div 1. Away next to CCFC, and in a rather sad comment on Sir M’s life, he actually knows what that stands for.

16. Sikh (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 13). Drop three after a close loss to GEU on the weekend. Travel down to Surrey (OK, White Rock, whatever) to face PAU on the weekend. Should be a good yardstikh for Sikh.

17. Langley All Blacks (FVSL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). Their inaugural win of the year, a 2-1 defeat of Mission Blues, puts this feared side back into the top twenty of these rankings. Away to GEU next in a game which will have a lot to say about, unlike Mrs. Commando’s two best friends, if these boys are for real.

18. Wickham FC (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 16). A third straight loss for this side has put this team in a tough spot, with some tough games coming up. Home to Sapperton on Friday, all hands on deck for that one.

19. Norvan FC (NSCL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). A win and a tie thus far for the Norvan-ers. Big game against Vikings next in a very old NSCL rivalry.

20. Cracovia (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 18). This side, a team with many players with shaved heads and scar tissue, is barely hanging on to its spot in the top 20, based on one point vs Metro Ford this season. It doesn’t get any easier for them when this week, they face #1 ranked Columbus.

So there you have this week’s edition of Sir M’s Excellent Power Rankings.

Should be some thrilling Masters action this coming weekend...

 

[Regs]

So much for the full-pull, the pressure was too much

 

[Taxman]

Sir M - if we don't get ranked above the "Goo" next week you need to check your medication. Are you giving them rankings based on posts ?

 

[Sir M]

No. Points.

 

[SCK]

Yeah. C'mon Sir M. The Firemen are missing sooo many bodies....you should rank them much higher as mentioned a few times by Taxman. Say in the top four or five??

SCK

 

[mastermind]

Yeah. C'mon Sir M. The Firemen are missing sooo many bodies....you should rank them much higher as mentioned a few times by Taxman. Say in the top four or five??

SCK

I think Sir M is a Mastermind with the way the rankings stand. No need for changes unless the Thunder down under are moving up.

 

[5bigtoes]

........ the Thunder down under .......

having a gas problem are we master-bater-mind??

 

[Dude]

Should be a good yardstikh for Sikh.

Gold!

 

[DaPlaya]

The not so mighty Rangers will be moving farther down after this week. You guys gotta check out the END of the Rangers dynasty thread.

 

[Taxman]

Yeah. C'mon Sir M. The Firemen are missing sooo many bodies....you should rank them much higher as mentioned a few times by Taxman. Say in the top four or five?? SCK

... sure SCK - at least we have players - you guys may have bodies but are short on players. The FVSL has Moneyman ... the VMSL has SCK ... Whatdya think Hose ?