Groaners

[knvb]

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts you can get for $2.00 a pound deer nuts are just under a buck.

 

[knvb]

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"

 

[BlazeArmy]

Christ man, you hanging out at the Kindergarten class getting those?

 

[knvb]

Are you kidding?

Come on Blaze, that cannibal one is pure gold.

 

[SC]

It's nice to read clean, innocent jokes every once in awhile .

Thanks for making my day Knobbyman

 

[Hands of Stone]

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL.)

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.


Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.



SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's!

 

[Sliver]

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.

The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

 

[knvb]

Good one.

 

[Regs]

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.

The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

It's YOUR not YOU'RE

~Captain Shamrock.

 

[Sliver]

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What! Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."​

 

[Stepchild]

Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago.
Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition and Louella has been charged with a ..............

Misdewiener