Div 2 Div 2 Rumours & Other Gossip

[GodLike]

Gawd Damnit!

I still have a headache from yesterday and now my neck has seized. Anyone who has said soccer is a non-contact sport has never had the back of their head meet Bonefish's knee. Sorry for not shaking your hand after the game, Bonefish. Oh well, sh*t happens.

Is there anyone on TTP who plays for WestSide so that I can taunt them with sexual narratives and drug induced hallucinations which will spurn them into an irritated state which will fire them up to fire their team up to be psyched up to play beyond their usual team skill level so that Point Grey will have a tougher time than they would normally have had if I had not posted my exploits?

 

[the insider]

Re: Gotta love it!

Originally posted by GodLike
Still wondering about the question asked yesterday: If two teams are tied at seasons end, is the group winner decided by head to head matches, point differential, or just goals for?

From the VMSL Constitution posted on TTP:

5.3. In the event of two teams having the same number of points at the end of the league schedule, and providing that this situation affects the promotion or relegation of teams, a one game playoff on a neutral ground shall take place with extra time periods. If the teams are still tied after extra time, a penalty kick series will be used to decide the winner. Where three or more teams are affected, a round-robin tournament among the tied teams will take place and the tie breaking formula outlined in Section 4.3 of the Rules and Regulations will be used.

So it's a playoff. Goals For / Goals Against and Head to Head don't enter into it.

http://www.takethepiss.com/features/VMSL-Constitution-Section-5.html

 

[Creedence]

Beauty, eh!

Daps,

Have to admit - love the pic exchange with 1 run.
I feel left out though, having missed all this afternoon's action...

Are you sure the stray cat was the only victim of your ass-vacuum? Your take on yesterday's game would suggest...

 

[Henry8]

Captian, Good win on the weekend 9-0 you can't argue with that even in Div2. I would have been at the match but for the very sad reason that my marriage is also walking a FINE line!! Are you still married? Know of any good singles bars? It's good to here that you've got alot of youth comming through the side, this may be important for journey to the Div1. Are you looking to stay around when you make it to Div1? I think this will be a key element of wheather you stay up next season. If you could let me know when your next game is, I'll try and make it if my (bitch) oh I'm sorry my wife will let me. Thanks Henry

 

[Dapotayto]

Totally harsh, man


How the hell do you know where I work? That was a defining moment in my Boss’s career. The day he finally achieved full cranial insertion. Seeing as I’m getting paid right now, thought I’d offer up some week 12 predictions for y’all. (Keep those cheques rolling in boss, Tayto needs a beamer!)

Bombastic vs. B united – 4-1 for Bombassticklers. Fcuk sakes BU, soccer is a game of 11 players per side.Bombastic players end up having to work harder in their pre-match drills than in the actual game.

NKH vs. Champlain Heights- 2-2. NK dominates throughout but SOMEHOW Chumplane Heights gets assigned the skinny, non-english speaking ref who’s fcuking kid obviously plays for the them. NK lead2-1 late in the game but then in the 25th minute of time added on the Stunned Wonder up front for Chump City calls the ref a “fcuking idiot” for the fortieth time that game and is awarded a penalty kick. NK’s goalie saves the subsequent shot but Joe Dirt again calls the ref a “fcuking idiot” and a rekick is awarded. This time it flies in and Chumplane Heights celebrate like they just won the fcuking world cup. Return of “Batboy” from Afghanistan imminent, although this leaves a huge problem for Champlain’s coach (Which bald fcukhead to play up front).

Point Grey United vs. Westide- 3-2 PGU. In a quite stunning flash of brilliance, Westside decide to play
their fullbacks as forwards, their strikers as fullbacks and their keeper a little deeper. Westside’s former centre half puts in a clinical display of finishing and fires two past Godlike in the first half. Undeterred, and equally as brilliant, PGU turn their shorts around backwards to confuse the former defenders who now start kicking the hell out of the PGU back line thinking they are strikers. PGU’s#10 takes advantage of the confusion and slots 3 past the Wetslide boys. #10’s 16 goals in 8 gameseasily take him to the top of the scoring charts. Most interesting aspect of the game was the pre-matchpunting contest to decide who will be in goal for PGU. After it is pointed out by NSU’s Therapist that
punting distance is the only relevant factor in determing goalkeeping ability PGU take it to heart andput it to acompetition. Godlike wins but only after Dapotayto and the rest of the boys all cunningly (not cunnilingus Creedence) punt left-footed out of sheer dread of having to play goal.

NSU JB’s vs. Richmond Cougars- 3-1 NSU. The JB’s continue with their now famous 3-3-2-2formation. 3 lardbacks, 3 lardfielders, 2 skinny guys who can run and pass, and 2 guys up front who can score once in a while. NSU’s Therapist, with his superior soccer analysis determines that their goalkeeper simply cannot punt far enough to be considered competent and thus lures Lui Passaglia out of retirment to mind the net for the Jail Birds, excuse me, Jim Beams. Lui kicks the absolute fcuk out of the ball all game but Richmond hit the post no less than six times as a bewildered Passaglia simply has no fcuking clue about organizing defenses, coming out for crosses, shot stopping, or anything else that actually matters when it comes to goalkeeping. The
game is stopped for half an hour in the second half when one of NSU’s lardbacks jumps in the air to head a ball and gets stuck. With a three goal lead late in the game and one of their lardfielders off on the side for a water and hot dog break NSU’s centre back plays the entire Richmond team onside with his beer belly and one of the Runtmond Cougars steals in to slip a consolation goal past Lui. Too little too late for the Cougs whose forwards simply cannot withstand the withering kick attack of the NSU back line. NSU strike the base of the post once in the game leading Therapist to exclaim that because of this the JB’s obviously dominated and deserved to win 10-1 even though
Runtmond carried the play most of the game. NSU’s Therapist immediately becomes the favorite to succeed Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United, although Juventus, Lazio, and Real Madrid all queue up to sign him as manager as well, citing his advanced soccer philosophy and tactical analysis.

Liverpool vs. Barcelona- 2-1 for the Mighty Reds. The crown prince scores both for the scousers

Manchester United vs. Bayern Munich- Who fcuking cares. Any Man U fans that may be offended feel free to FCUK OFF.

Dapotayto vs. North Van Female Population- Tayto does the double Friday night, and I ain’t talking soccer
now, boys.

Allright boys, that's it. I've given ya lots of ammo so fill up the clips 'cuz I got the Kevlar on. (No creedence, that's not a strap-on)

 

[1_run_and_then_i_die]

Well it's good to know the the JB's will win .... As for 3 lardfielders .... I'd say only one, and that's me ... but funny how I could still outrun your PG mid-rifters.

By the way, came across a pic for DogLike ... maybe he'll learn to be careful ... especially when he goes out in the Westside.

 

[Therapist]

Dapoflappo

Glad we got under you skin.

You can't get under ours cause there's too much skin to get under.

 

[Dapotayto]

Godlike's date

I ain't touching that one (so to speak), 1 nut/run. Check out this honey. Which one would you prefer? I think I can set you up

 

[1_run_and_then_i_die]

Man, were digging into your dating archives ..... but I think I'll stop here before things get really ugly ... (and that's not a reference to my dating archive)

 

[Keeper]

Enough already . . .

Would all you morons like to take this to the "Open Season" thread instead? If not, then start discussing div 2 like the title suggests.

Meanwhile, I'd certainly like to know what's going on with the Knights lately. Number 2, would you like all the "rif-raf" back now? Maybe that's the problem.

 

[Dapotayto]

Keeper

Hey lazy bastard, if you read back or post or two you'll see some div. 2 shite. In fact, I mentioned not too fcuking long ago that the knights can't score. Decent buildup, no finish. That's pretty much the end of story. I can elaborate if you'd like. The Division two group C Westside Knights couldn't score in a whorehouse. They have lost or tied every game since week 5 because of it. Their defence is fairly stable, midfield not spectacular but decent division 2 stuff and their forwards are getting chances but if you still don't understand then here it is again: THEY CAN'T FCUKING SCORE! What do you want me to email you personally so you don't have to use the fcuking mouse to go back a few posts.

P.s. If you're wondering why they've got 20 goals so far, keep in mind they got 2/3 of those in the first half of the season when they were 4-0

 

[GodLike]

I'm so glad

Finally, the pressure is off of me to be the annoying voice of PGU.

Keep up the good work Dapotayto!

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Marriage is still alive.....

Henry,

Yes, I am still married. Sometimes, I wonder how I am, especially with these Saturday games. As for singles bars, I avoid them. They could only lead to trouble.....

As for this weekend, we are supposed to play at West Point Grey, wherever the hell that is. Something about 8th and Trimble? The way things are going, I am sure it will be cancelled anyway, so it will be a moot point.

Hopefully, we can hook up for a pint sometime in the near future.


As for the 9-0 game, it was awful. I felt sorry for the other team because they were nice guys but didn't field their best team. Alemania squeaked by the North Shore apparently. That could have been a big tie, but it wasn't .

Captain

 

[GodLike]

Captain

West Point Grey,

It is at 8th and Trimble, out near the border of UBC. It's Point Grey's home park and it boasts (yes, I used the word "boasts") the best view of any park in the lower mainland. You'll see what I mean when you get there. The field has really good drainage so your game most likely won't be cancelled. The downside of the park is that it receives the winds coming off the ocean. A bit of a home field advantage for us as we are used to it. And since you will be playing only a few blocks from my house, I think I'll mosey over to watch the game. Get myself a look at the "best" team in div. 2. Judging from your record combined with your goals for and against, it appears that your team may indeed be what it claims.
Looking forward to meeting ya.

 

[Keeper]

Potato:

When I was asking about the Knights, I was searching for more of a causative answer -- that's why I was asking Number 2: someone who actually knows the innards of the team. Not some yahoo who bases his opinon on the standings and one or two games against them.

It's unfortunate that you jumped all over me -- I was considering complimenting you on your long list of predictions. Besides, if you looked back yourself, you'd realize that I'm already aware of the Knights abilities. But since you mention my apparent lack of "using [my] fcuking mouse", I'll explain my complaint.

[crap]
[garbage]
[name calling]
[decent post]
[sh!t]
[more crap]
[even more garbage]
[interesting post]
[name calling]
[shite, garbage, and mullets]
[etc]
[etc]
[etc]

It's searching through all the crap that's pissing me off. Take it to Open Season.

Otherwise, I'd also like to know if anyone managed to catch (or hear any details about) Metro-Ford's loss to Van. Olympics. As their first loss of the year, I'm curious to know whether or not they had any use of the CAT system in this game.

 

[GodLike]

Oops

Just realized you're playing the Ranger's B team. Their Div. 1 team have been our in-club nemesis for many years but unfortunately their "B" team sucks. I guess it won't be much of a game, but I'll still come out so as to give myself a reason to get out of bed earlier than an hour before my shift at 7pm.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

See you there....

That is encouraging about the field situation. But I am sure the Vancouver Parks will shut all the fields down if the rain continues like it is supposed to.

As for the 'best' team in division two, I can't make that claim. There are a lot of teams that I haven't seen. Besides, Alemania stuffed us 6-1 at the start of the season, so it is tough to lay claim to that.

On top of that, there is a lot of internal problems with our team right now. Apparently, according to the German superstar, Vito, who allegedly quit last weekend because he didn't start , I am responsible for the Club's downward spiral of late. It makes sense when you think about it. Anyway, I guess he couldn't take the fact that I gave him shite everytime he was a lazy bastard, which happened to be most of the time. Oh well, hopefully someone in the club can stop this downward spin before we play on Saturday.

Make sure you come over for a couple of homemade pints.....

Captain

 

[Dapotayto]

Keeper

Actually Keep, I apologize for your caustic trip through Potatoland. Your points have been taken under consideration (like you give a shite). Thought I felt Man U vibes emanating from the computer screen.

 

[GodLike]

I'm a little baked

As the heading states... So I find myself in the mood to type. A side not about PGU; Dave Glass made his season debut against Champlain Heights the other weekend and within fifteen minutes managed no fewer than five quality scoring chances but being rusty, put all of his shots just wide of the post. Unfortunately Davey G was sub'd out after fifteen minutes because he re-fractured the ankle that had kept him out of the season until that game. I guess he came back too early and the re-injured ankle is now going to keep him out for the remainder of the season. Unfortunate, as Davey G is a major part of our offence and his conitinued absence is a huge blow to PGU.
Another worthy mention is the past three game absence of our center d-man, Toby, "The Wall." Those who know of Davey G know of his speed and appreciate it, "The Wall" is just as fast as Davey G but he's a defenseman. Toby cracked a rib during his stag? Oh well, supposedly your stag only happens once, might as well go hard. Good on ya, Toby. PGU is expecting his return soon and should a play-off game against NSU-JB's happen, Toby is the kind of player that can change our entire teams game for the better.

As an extremely competetive person, the ideal finish to the season would see NSU-JB's face off against PGU in the final match of the Div. 2 cup, as well as a play-off game for promotional rights to Div. 1. The only other team I can think of for this scenario would be a PGU - NKH final. Even though PG was victorious over NKH, it never entered my mind during the NSU-JB match that they were better than us. If NKH had a better team fitness level, they would definitely be among those looking for promotion.

Ok, that's enough. I need to find a bag of chips, some beer, hand lotion, and the remote to the tv in time for Buffy at 8.

Mmmm, Buffy!

 

[GodLike]

Question

It's not even 7pm, so i had time to look through the TTP site before Buffy starts. What is the FVSL?