Up Against The Wall- So-called 'Celebrity Edition.
David Blaine; what a frontbum.
The Newest American Hero is currently suspended in a perspex box on the Embankment South of the river Thames. As you do. The self-proclaimed modern-day Harold Houdini has decided, in his imperious wisdom, that it would be a Very Good Idea to go 44 days (Why 44 days, David? My birthday is on the 4th of April, he mumbles into his beard, scientifically........) without food and suspended in a 7 by 3 foot box with only a tube for waste and only water to keep him alive. Swoon, my hero. Nice to be getting £5 million from Sky and Channel 4 as well.
Terry Waite did the same thing for longer and against his will and received sweet f.a. for his troubles. What this septic is doing makes a mockery of poor old Terry Waite, a man whose bicycle was left outside the station for so long awaiting his return it was rusted to buggery when he finally got home.
There's a fair number of people who spend the great majority of their lives in boxes and starving down on the Embankment and, to the best of my knowledge, when they come out they're not paid millions for their troubles nor do they get to shag supermodel girlfriends. His old lady, Manon von Gerkan, she of the comedy name and nipples like fighter pilot's thumbs has gushed, 'I find it quite bizarre that people have found it necessary to throw eggs and other things at David.' Welcome to England you silly tart.
Day 4:
Fastshow visits the site at lunchtime and concurs that the burger smell is indeed intoxicating, as are the burgers themselves. There is a large crowd of office workers and tourists gazing skywards. A student with a megaphone heckles Blaine for starving for publicity purposes and for being an ugly yank twat.
Day 3:
The smell of onions from a burger van parked near the box is apparently driving Blaine to distraction. Shame.
Day 2:
Despite eggs, golf balls and even fish and chips reportedly being thrown at the box as well as being kept awake by one man with an Indian drum until he was made to stop by noise department officials, Blaine makes it through his first night unscathed.
Day 1:
Amid much fanfare, David Blaine has entered his home for the next 44 days. A packed crowd along the River Thames and on Tower Bridge watched him climb a ladder into the Perspex box where he will attempt his latest feat.
From the letters page of today's Metro;
'I don't think it's a case of Londoners hating David Blaine. Instead of marvelling at his quasi-messianic posturing like the Americans do, we look at him in a plastic box and think; 'I bet I could hit that with a 9 iron.' For the next forty-odd days in London there's a new sport- Blaine baiting.....'
Robert Terwilliger, London E7
'If anyone wishes to join me in throwing sausages at David Blaine on September 20, I extend a warm welcome. Any sign of food will break his meditation and speed his metabolism, which in turn will set about the important process of him digesting his own body. If anyone wishes to join me: 5pm, September 20, beneath the box. Bring a sausage- the Blaine will be provided.'
Jonathan Blyth, London W13.
My sausages are too precious to waste on this complete and utter tosser.
David Blaine; what a frontbum.
The Newest American Hero is currently suspended in a perspex box on the Embankment South of the river Thames. As you do. The self-proclaimed modern-day Harold Houdini has decided, in his imperious wisdom, that it would be a Very Good Idea to go 44 days (Why 44 days, David? My birthday is on the 4th of April, he mumbles into his beard, scientifically........) without food and suspended in a 7 by 3 foot box with only a tube for waste and only water to keep him alive. Swoon, my hero. Nice to be getting £5 million from Sky and Channel 4 as well.
Terry Waite did the same thing for longer and against his will and received sweet f.a. for his troubles. What this septic is doing makes a mockery of poor old Terry Waite, a man whose bicycle was left outside the station for so long awaiting his return it was rusted to buggery when he finally got home.
There's a fair number of people who spend the great majority of their lives in boxes and starving down on the Embankment and, to the best of my knowledge, when they come out they're not paid millions for their troubles nor do they get to shag supermodel girlfriends. His old lady, Manon von Gerkan, she of the comedy name and nipples like fighter pilot's thumbs has gushed, 'I find it quite bizarre that people have found it necessary to throw eggs and other things at David.' Welcome to England you silly tart.
Day 4:
Fastshow visits the site at lunchtime and concurs that the burger smell is indeed intoxicating, as are the burgers themselves. There is a large crowd of office workers and tourists gazing skywards. A student with a megaphone heckles Blaine for starving for publicity purposes and for being an ugly yank twat.
Day 3:
The smell of onions from a burger van parked near the box is apparently driving Blaine to distraction. Shame.
Day 2:
Despite eggs, golf balls and even fish and chips reportedly being thrown at the box as well as being kept awake by one man with an Indian drum until he was made to stop by noise department officials, Blaine makes it through his first night unscathed.
Day 1:
Amid much fanfare, David Blaine has entered his home for the next 44 days. A packed crowd along the River Thames and on Tower Bridge watched him climb a ladder into the Perspex box where he will attempt his latest feat.
From the letters page of today's Metro;
'I don't think it's a case of Londoners hating David Blaine. Instead of marvelling at his quasi-messianic posturing like the Americans do, we look at him in a plastic box and think; 'I bet I could hit that with a 9 iron.' For the next forty-odd days in London there's a new sport- Blaine baiting.....'
Robert Terwilliger, London E7
'If anyone wishes to join me in throwing sausages at David Blaine on September 20, I extend a warm welcome. Any sign of food will break his meditation and speed his metabolism, which in turn will set about the important process of him digesting his own body. If anyone wishes to join me: 5pm, September 20, beneath the box. Bring a sausage- the Blaine will be provided.'
Jonathan Blyth, London W13.
My sausages are too precious to waste on this complete and utter tosser.
