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Things that make you say WTF?

akslop

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http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/socce...ayer-gets-red-card-for-farting-202705537.html


The fart heard 'round the world is an underdog story.

It's the tale of a humble fart, unloosed on the world in a moment of innocence in the anonymity of a game between Swedish soccer clubs nobody had ever heard of. Its maker is Adam Lindin Ljungkvist, a left back for Järna SK's reserve team. They were playing Pershagen SK.

He already had a yellow card.

He also had "a bad stomach," per the Guardian. So, as he told Länstidningen Södertälje, which we're going to guess is either a newspaper or a cheap, self-assembled coffee table, "I simply let go."

There this whole besotted odyssey would have ended. But this little fart was destined for greater things. For global fame. Perhaps fortune. Maybe even a straight-to-TV movie on Lifetime and a spot on Oprah's bench. Because the referee, Dany Kako, who cares not for your farts, showed Ljungkvist a yellow card.

Which is to say that he almost certainly became the first player in a century and a half of organized soccer to be sent off for cutting the cheese on the field. He and his fart are forever famous. Thanks to that red card.

"Yes, I was shocked," Ljungkvist told the paper/coffee table. "It's the strangest thing I have ever experienced in football."

An opponent agreed. Kristoffer Linde testified that he "was standing a good distance away but I heard the fart loud and clear. It's the strangest thing I've seen on a pitch, and I've been playing football since I was eight years old."

Ljungkvist, baffled, needed closure. "I asked the referee, 'What, am I not allowed to break wind a little?' " Ljungkvist continued, sensing that the world and the history books would need more information. " 'No,' he replied. … I don't get it but maybe he thought I farted in my hand and threw the fart at him. But I did not."
The referee explained himself. "I perceived it as deliberate provocation," Kako said, adding that he'd once given a player a yellow for peeing by the field as well. "He did it on purpose and it was inappropriate. Therefore, he received a yellow card."

Ljungkvist then re-litigated the matter to Aftonbladet, which definitely is a newspaper. "To provoke anyone with a fart is not particularly smart or normal," he said. "It's nonsense – I just broke wind and got a red card. I spoke to the referee afterwards, I was annoyed, but there were no bad words. I just said he was a buffoon."

The below is more or less what we imagine the game's highlights of the game to look like.

 

trece verde

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f7a2d641dd60b001255e04e92b5aa7a3.jpg
 

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Apparently it's not cool to drool over attractive chicks making out... unattractive lezzys though and you are OK.

That's what I took out of the article.
 

freddy

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@akslop - did I get the bag of dicks because they took it off Youtube so fast or because the break was nasty? He looked like he was just pissed off after it happened.
 

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Student Accident Insurance

Really? WTF?

Kids just home from first 'day' of school with a flyer/note regarding accident insurance...

Kids Plus accident insurance offers protection against the unexpected costs of injury from accidents, and is especially valuable for families who:

  • do not have medical or dental plans
  • have limited plans, as it may help supplement health and dental benefits, or
  • have active children who enjoy sports and outdoor activities

If you are promoting an active lifestyle for kids, then if my kids get hurt as you are promoting, why are you not taking responsibility in case of injury?
 

akslop

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https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news...nd-sex-appeals-against-sentence-gayle-newland

A woman who was jailed for duping her friend into having sex by pretending to be a man is to appeal against her prison sentence.

Gayle Newland, 26, was jailed for eight years after she tricked her friend for two years by disguising her appearance and voice and persuading the woman to wear a blindfold whenever they met.

The pair had sex about 10 times until the complainant took off her mask and saw Newland wearing a prosthetic penis, the trial at Chester crown court heard.

Judge Roger Dutton described Newland as “an intelligent, obsessional, highly manipulative, deceitful, scheming and thoroughly determined young woman” as he jailed her for eight years in November.

Newland, from Willaston in Cheshire, has maintained her innocence despite being found guilty by a jury of three counts of sexual assault.

Her legal challenge will be heard at the court of appeal on 12 October at the Royal Courts of Justice in London. Three judges will consider the strength of the former University of Chester student’s conviction and and whether sentence exceeded judicial sentencing guidelines.

Newland claimed her accuser always knew she was pretending to be a man as they engaged in role play while struggling with their sexuality.

She told the trial last September that no blindfold was used and said she did not strap bandages to her chest or wear a woollen hat and swimsuit.

The trial heard that Newland created a bogus Facebook profile in the name of Kye Fortune and mimicked a man’s voice to speak on the phone with the victim a number of times after their first contact in 2011.

The complainant told the jury that when they finally decided to meet in February 2013, Newland, posing as Kye, asked her to wear a blindfold, claiming to be insecure about his looks after undergoing brain surgery.

They were said to have spent more than 100 hours together and the encounters would include the complainant wearing a blindfold while they watched television and even when sunbathing.
 

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