Rangerforever was scheduled to be Stalone's stunt double in Rambo, but he was replaced after refusing to wear a parachute when jumping from the plane.
Crop circles are RF's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Rangerforever allows to live.
When Rangerforever goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
When Rangerforever was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Rangerforever!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rangerforever could use to kill you, including the room itself.
RF coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
RF has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and
RF ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Rangerforever once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
RF is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Rangerforever has two speeds: walk and eat.
Rangerforever is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Rangerforever once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
When RF jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Rangerforevered instead.
Rangerforever doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fcuking another.
RF can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If you were to lock Rangerforever in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this RF replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
RF was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Rangerforever, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
You are what you eat. That is why RF's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Rangerforever is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shite.
Rangerforever can divide by zero.
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Rangerforever punched himself in the face.
RF once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.
On his birthday, Rangerforever randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
RF invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Rangerforever smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
I swear every word is true.
Crop circles are RF's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Rangerforever allows to live.
When Rangerforever goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
When Rangerforever was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Rangerforever!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rangerforever could use to kill you, including the room itself.
RF coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
RF has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and
RF ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Rangerforever once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
RF is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Rangerforever has two speeds: walk and eat.
Rangerforever is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Rangerforever once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
When RF jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Rangerforevered instead.
Rangerforever doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fcuking another.
RF can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If you were to lock Rangerforever in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this RF replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
RF was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Rangerforever, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
You are what you eat. That is why RF's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Rangerforever is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shite.
Rangerforever can divide by zero.
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Rangerforever punched himself in the face.
RF once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.
On his birthday, Rangerforever randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
RF invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Rangerforever smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
I swear every word is true.
