The 2003 Co-ed match reports, and witty banter thread.

[Dial 9-1-1]

Police, Fire, or Ambulance?

"Hello? I need help please."

"Yes, sir. You've dialed the right number. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"I'd like to report an assault. Halfvolley pissed on me."

"So the police?"

"Yes, but he also kicked me in the nuts."

"Do you need medical assistance? Do you need an ambulance?"

"Yes, but I've also been burned and torched by my old team mate, Lionheart."

"So the fire department?"

"I think I need all three. You can find me in Carebear's doghouse with AU RAZOR."

"AU RAZOR? Is he as sharp as he sounds?"

"Not exactly."

"Is he as cool as KNVB?"

"Highly unlikely. But he's got the CAPS LOCK THING REALLY WORKING FOR HIM."

"Alright. And your name, sir?

"Cartdriver."

"Emergency personnel are on their way. Can you describe what you look like so we can quickly identify you?"

 

[SC]

ummmmmmmmmmmm...

Did "somebody call security"...as well?

+SConbehalfoftherestoftheYoungGunscorp.

Anyone heading to Yakima this year?

 

[Conductor]

Options!!

Well Lionheart haven't seen you post in a while

The funny part is that all the guys not showing up are either married or engaged. I wonder who's making the decisions in those relationships. Just a thought.

Why doesn't your team allow the wives or fiances to play,that way alot more people might show up??Just in case your answer might be that their girls can't really play soccer just remember

Coed is a fun

As for your answer SC

Anyone heading to Yakima this year?

The place to be now is in Vernon,it's alot closer and cheaper,by a beautiful lake and they have a beer garden!!THe only down fall is that there is no Taco Bell on every corner,for that fact there isn't even one taco Taco Bell!!

 

[Conductor]

Mr.VP!!

I'm a little curious as to why the Union Jackers last 2 games show "NA" on there scores not including tonight against Herb-a-Licious.Even I know that there game against QLT was a win for them 3-2 and then they beat Gin and Tonic 4-2.You would think that after JR's email a few days ago that at least the vice presidents teams would be reporting there scores!!Come guys and at least help Regs out here!!

 

[Dial 9-1-1]

2 Reasons why no Yakima this year

Anyone heading to Yakima this year?

 

[Yoda]

Re: Options!!

Originally posted by Conductor
THe only down fall is that there is no Taco Bell on every corner,for that fact there isn't even one taco Taco Bell!!

And the beer garden closes way to early on Sunday. 2 years in a row we have shut down the beer garden. They literally take the tents and chairs away from us.
Apparently some people have to work on Monday.

And that crap Pacific beer they serve.

Looks like it fruity pink drinks for me this year unless they change beer brands

 

[Cartdriver]

Ouch...I feel unwanted..

Lionheart....well, well, well...don't see you here for a while and then you freak on everyone after we are just having some light hearted TTP'ing. You do understand this site is for pisstaking which is kind of what most do....but if you think I am bashing my old team...you are way off base. And by the way, if no-one would take me, I would start my own team just like I did with the CARTS....remember LH, I'm the one that got YOU and half the current Carts into co-ed!! The line I heard many times from my youth comes to mind..."I brought you into this (coed) world, and I can just as easily take you out of it!"

CDwisheshispisstakingwasbetterunderstood....kindalike911wishesthosepedaphilechargeswouldjustGOAWAY!!

 

[Carebear]

Re: both goalies

Originally posted by Lionheart

To Mr. Cart: I'm just curious as to why your even talking in this thread. Your not in this league anymore buddy. Do you have nothing better to do then bash your old team. You must really not want to play coed ever again, because what team is going to take you now.

Lionheart

Cartdriver,

Isn't this what you call pisstaking, why do you think Lionheart is freaken. She just says it like it is and you can't handle it Mr. Cart. Good luck in starting your own team as there is a very long waiting list for teams to get into this league, so I here. Oh ya and by the way you didn't start the carts. You gave the team a new name as we were the former "I drink bear" or something like that. The team came from myself and another guy who then handed it off to you last year to organize and bring in the other half of the team, who are now mostly the ones that are the least reliable. Please don't take offence to this as it's just pisstaking right?

Carebear

 

[mackers]

And are you sure our goalie played well, he gave a free break away to one of your girls.

Lionheart, I was referring mostly to the outstretched save he made on Herb Jr in the first half, he looked like he knew what he was doing there !!

Cheers, mackers.

 

[Carebear]

Sorry I made a mistake on my last post. It's not "I drink bear", silly me, it's "I drink beer". I had to make sure I cleared that up as I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea.

By the way is anyone going to the Windfield tourny this weekend?

Carebear

 

[knvb]

Bear drinking.

Carebear, I heard they had plans to legalize bear drinking in 32 of 51 states. Perhaps you can start your own cult just out-side Utah. Anything goes there.


911, I'm on the edge of my seat here waiting to see what stupid picture you post next and try to make relevant to co-ed. Please hurry, I'm not a patient man.

Thanks.

 

[STD]

union jackoffs 4 gin and tonic 0
union jackoffs 5 qlt 2
union jackoffs 2 herb -a-licous

 

[Dial 9-1-1]

Dialing for pictures

Originally posted by knvb
911, I'm on the edge of my seat here waiting to see what stupid picture you post next and try to make relevant to co-ed. Please hurry, I'm not a patient man.

Thanks.

What you lack in patience, I'm sure you more than make up for in coolness. This one is special...just for you.

Alright, I promise no more pics.

 

[Carebear]

Re: Bear drinking.

Originally posted by knvb
Carebear, I heard they had plans to legalize bear drinking in 32 of 51 states. Perhaps you can start your own cult just out-side Utah. Anything goes there.

knvb,

Thanks for pointing this out, I'll be sure to look into it!

Carebear

 

[Dial 9-1-1]

July 11 recap

For those of you just lurking, in a nut shell, here's what you missed on today's Whining Banter Thread. All in good fun, I hope.

SC: Hey dial soap. That post of yours was as funny as the rash Notty gave me.

Conductor: Theirs no Taco Bell in Vernon but its to expensive their in Yakima.

Yoda: Yeah, and how come their beer sucks and they close the beer gardens at 5 PM? Only fruity pink stuff for me, man.

Conductor: How come the Union Jackers haven't reported there scores yet? Their in 4th place on the B side and we all want to know how their doing. C'mon VP.

STD: Unionjackoffs won their last three games.

Conductor: Yeah, but they'll get spanked by YG Inc on Tuesday. I'm going to score 4 goals.

Mackers: Hey, the carts' goalie was pretty good.

LionHeart: No he wasn't. He sucked. He threw the ball to YOUR player.

Mackers. Oops sorry. Well he made one nice save, I guess.

Lionheart: It was a lucky save.

Cartdriver: Carts suck without me. Yousucktoodial911becauseIlovewritinglongsentenceswithoutusingthespacebarAnnoyingisn'tit?

Lionheart: You suck, man. We don't need you. You'll never play in this league again!

Cartdriver: Relax LH. I never said you guys suck. You gotta relax, BEEATTCH. I can start my own team.

Carebear: No you can't. Those guys you brought never show up. And I'm just pisstaking so YOU relax. I used to drink bear, you know.

Dial 9-1-1: Hey everyone, here's another lame ass picture that no one will like. Enjoy.

KNVB: 911 you POS. Quit posting lame, unfunny pics. I'm 10x cooler than the Fonz and you know it. Cnut.

 

[Cartdriver]

It's getting hot in here...

Dial-man....boy, can you ever keep us giggling Why just yesterday afternoon, I drove by KNVB's house and all I heard was laughter interrupted with cries of.."oh man, that 911 guy is a hoot".

Carebear...the quote I have heard from a few of your so-called "least reliable" carts that you consider my recruits from last year is "it's just not as fun anymore!". You do the math. Oh yeah, and from what I remember, you had about 6 players left over from your I DRINK BEAR team and someone else made last year happen

And those 6 were counting Razor, who manages to play about 4 games a year


Thisisforyou911...loveyouman..andno,thereisnoflaginmyhandasyouseemcurioustoknow!


BTW...I am trying to take the piss, I just don't have to go right now!


What about the games??? Who is hot going into playoffs? There are a lot of teams around the .500 mark??

 

[SC]

A Dragons' new look...

Originally posted by Dial 9-1-1

SC: Hey dial soap. That post of yours was as funny as the rash Notty gave me.

.

Notty, Regs, Throbby, KNVB or any other Goons, what the hell is with the new look Big Daddy is sporting? Does he know that there are pictures lurking around on email?

I am glad to say that BIG Daddy still looks awesome, even while wearing girly tighty whitey kit

+SC

 

[halfvolley]

Banter me mommy

Wow I don't know how to react to all this "bullshti" errrr... I mean banter.

Lionheart: Engaged, do you really think that has any bearing on me showing up? Ok sometimes , but I've been one busy bastard and Lisa's co-ed team hasn't really been on my list of important things of late. Sorry. (28 player roster...so sad)

Carebear: Room for one more in the doghouse? Who's licking me?

Cartdriver: Please don't start this banter at my wedding ok. All I can say is your a good man Charlie Brown.

Dial 9-1-1: Keep those pics up. Nevermind what KNVB has to say.

I'm pretty sure I'm not wanted for the playoffs with Lionheart's pisstake but crazier things have happened. When is this playoff thing happening anyways? I still have a beer paid for on my beer card.

 

[TheRob]

Good day for the Dragons from what I hear.

Dragons 8 - 0 Gin and Tonicas

I was only there for half of this game but I think it was 4 or 5 zip at the half, and it could have been a lot worse. These guys are obviously out for the fun of the game and a little run around, but how fun can it be when you have to play "A" division teams and get soundly trounced. Like Mackers said earlier, and I think JR touched on it a bit after, something needs to be done with the scheduling.

Dragons 6 - 4 Cheatside

Wasn't at this game. Perhaps knvb, Regs, or Showtime could fill us in on the details. I have seen some pictures though. The kid from Seaquam looked, how shall I say this, silly.

 

[sensei_hanson]

The 6-4 victory was courtesy of Besty's brilliant netminding (hey, my hands stink) and KNVB's trying harding. And him megging girls. And him laughing at them afterwards. Assclown.

The highlight of the entire day was Notty's six-course bbq which included a roasted cornish game hen confit with a raspberry vinagerette glaze served on a soft bed of mozzarella-tinted polenta. Them crab cakes and chicken wings were really tasty too. Not to pick on the poor fella, but KNVB's major issue with the crab cakes was that they tasted "fishy". You don't say. That's like throwing away a Dairy Milk bar coz it tastes "all chocolatey and shite".

Anyways, a fine day at Osler elementary school. Special mention to Showtime who went door-to-door (two doors, to be exact) hounding innocent neighbours into giving him a cup of Roti. Stinkovic roolz.

Rob, I hope the gold team tryouts went well for you yesterday. Remember, if you don't make the gold team, you can always stay in silver and play with your friends. We will be proud of you no matter what.