Perfect Woman

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Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.

Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer. Trust me, it's worth it)



















Answer:
The perfect woman survived.
She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

**** Men keep scrolling.




















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving.

This explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point:

Women Never Listen!!!!!!
 

Fastshow

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hmmmmmmm.......


WOMEN

Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy, and laugh when they are nervous.

Women wait by the phone for a 'safe at home call' from a friend, after a snowy drive home.

They are child care workers, executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms, biker babes, and your neighbours.

They wear suits, jeans, and they wear uniforms.
> >
They fight for what they believe in. They stand up against injustice.
> >
They walk and talk the extra mile to get their kids into the right
schools and to get their family the right health care.
> >
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
> >
Women are honest, loyal and forgiving. They are smart and they know that knowledge is power.
> >
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
> >
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
> >
Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes.
They live in houses, apartments and cabins.
> >
They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
> >
They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their
family and friends.
> >
And all they want in return is a hug, a smile, and for you to do the
same for people you come in contact with.

> >
> >
MEN
> >
Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and wanking.
 

Spazz

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

There is more money being spent today on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with big perky boobs and huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. :D
 

Fastshow

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Subject: Equality
A heart-warming story of the advances of women in achieving equality throughout the world.............

Ageing and hideously ugly yank chat show host Barbara Walters of 60 Minutes (USA) did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about ten paces behind their husbands.
She returned to Kabul recently and observed that the men now walked several paces behind their wives. Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and said. "This is marvellous. Can you tell the free world just what enabled women to achieve this reversal of roles?"


"Land mines," said the woman.
 

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