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Fastshow

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No doubt due to an administrative error, there appeared to be no photo of David Beckham in today's paper. Furthermore, on first scan, I can see no mention of him either- even in otherwise unrelated articles. Please rectify this by producing a 150,000 MB picture gallery as soon as possible. David Beckham is the most important person in the universe and I base my entire life around his actions. Thanks.
 

Captain Shamrock

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Good point, Fasty. They did manage to have cameras from 37 fcuking countries filming his physical. That's good television.

"Puede toser usted, Sr. Beckham? Las vivas."


For our non-Spanish speaking friends(me included)......

"Can you cough, Mr. Beckham? Cheers.""
 

trece verde

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Becks.....

El Feo no puede jugar.... esta solamente preoccupado con su corte de pelo y sus contratos. Sin dudo, quando esta tomando el numero viente tres, no esta pensando de los partidos; solamente de su dinero.:mad:

Chingando pendejo!!!:mad: Todavia no conoce donde es su pierna izquierda!!!!:mad: :mad: :p :p En el mano otro, su mujer esta todavia guapa......:D

mas tarde,

Don Estew:cool:
 

Fastshow

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don't mind him, he's from Barcelona........

The Ugly one cannot play.... this only preoccupado with its haircut and its contracts. Without I doubt, quando this taking I number blows three, this not thinking of the parties; only of its money. Chingando asshole! Todavia does not know where it is his left leg! In the hand another one, its woman this todavia handsome...... but late, Don Stew.


Pretty much sums it up I think. Bravo.
 

trece verde

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Fasty's Espanol 101....

Nice try on the translation Fasty, but a little bit off....I'm impressed; it looks like you did this off the top of your head.

esta instead of este means he is/she is instead of this...(third person singular)
preoccupado=preoccupied/worried/concerned
quando=when
tomando=taking/pulling (in context of pulling a number, not pulling his goalie)
viente-tres (sorry, should have hyphenated this in the original)=23; wind would be "viento."
partido=match (ie soccer game). Party would be "fiesta."
Chingando pendejo=fcuking arsehole (transliteration; pendejo is actually pubic hair, but it just doesn't carry the same vehemance)
todavia=still/just
en el mano otro=on the other hand....
guapa=literally handsome, but you normally wouldn't use that word in Ingles to describe a bird - usually equivalent of "attractive"

mas tarde= later:D

No soy de Barca; soy Canadiense.... (doh!!!! Manuel!!!!!!):D:D

Nos vemos.....

Stew:cool:
 

Fastshow

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shock!!!!!!

Another scandal is set to rock football. Sophie Ellis Bextor's dead body has been found in a French international footballer's hotel room. The police are treating it as murder on Zidane's floor....
 

LucVanLierde

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Oct 14, 2002
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Was it just me or did Ronaldos perpetuating display of striking dominance and goal scoring supremecy distract you all from that '"super bowl"?
 

max blink

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Dr Alfaro the dirty genius

from the Guardian Continental Fooball column
Dr Alfaro the dirty genius

Sid Lowe catches up with Pablo Alfaro, Spains most fearsome footballing doctor

Tuesday February 3, 2004


Long after his team-mates have left, with the Sevilla coach waiting impatiently outside, Pablo Alfaro is still in the showers washing his hair. After all, it takes a lot of care and attention, plus at least three bottles and a tub of Soul-Glow, to get a ringlet perm right. And when he finally emerges, with his hair glistening and his neat, pencil-thin goatee beard, he looks like a cross between D'artagnan and Brian May. Only without the guitar.
Or the sword, in fact. But Alfaro does carry a frightening array of weapons. Like his elbows, the jagged studs of his boots and his latest toy - his fingers. For Alfaro is a Master of the Dark Arts, a consummate and clever hardman who has honed his skills over 15 years as a pro at six clubs. He has seen more red cards than any La Liga player and collects opponents' eyeballs on his sharpened elbows like pickled onions on a ****tail stick.

Alfaro's malicious intent has, on occasion, been exaggerated. His reputation goes before him and the moral outcry is often absurdly over the top - especially around matches with Real Madrid, funnily enough - but this week Alfaro surpassed even himself.

By sticking his fingers up another player's back passage. A player called Touché.

Honestly. You couldn't make it up; nor would you want to. Besides, Marca's superb photo proved it. There was Alfaro during Wednesday's Cup quarter-final against Atlético at the Calderón marking his man rather tightly, his hand wedged against his backside, his fingers... well, you get the picture, let's not delve too deep. Unlike Pablo.

Alfaro's act of "dactyl sodomisation", as Alfredo Relaño, the AS editor, somehow straight-facedly put it, has sparked something of a reaction - all the more so with Sevilla drawing Madrid in the semi. "I'll be watched like a hawk now," sighed Alfaro, "but I'm used to it." Only bewildered Touché has said nothing, presumably because he's still recovering from the shock of his debut (yes, really, the poor sod). He didn't even react during the match, maybe reasoning with a shudder that any sudden movement to chin his violator or slap his face with a glove would snap Alfaro's fingers, leaving them lost forever.

Amid much head-shaking and, let's face it, school-boy giggling, the man who earlier this season insisted that football had become "too effeminate", found himself on Radio Marca explaining his actions. "I was defending my team to the limit", he said revealing a little too much dedication to the cause, before making a typically eloquent, intelligent defence of his case. After 14 years in Primera, he can't be just a nutter, he argued, few players can claim to be a Sister of Mercy, Zidane hardly goes round handing out sweeties, and people focused on him - he's a dog with a very, very bad name. Like Spot or Rex.

And that's the thing. Alfaro is seriously nails but, intelligent as ever, he's also got a point. Anyone who's met him - and this column would like to clarify that it doesn't normally hang round waiting for men with curly hair to emerge from the shower - will confirm that Alfaro is warm and friendly. Sharp, interesting and patient, he is not your typical footballer. In fact he's a genius, a hard man and a qualified doctor (which is one way of guaranteeing yourself business).

That most marvellous of ironies has, inevitably, set off the Dr Alfaro and Mister Hyde punny analogies, led by AS: "Alfaro is a good guy, able to argue persuasively and calmly about anything. But once he steps over that white line, he's another being. His career has become associated with turbulent episodes. This latest act serves to denounce his jail-bird vision of football, increasing his black legend."

For Marca's cheeky-grinned Roberto Palomar there is no such contradiction, however - Alfaro's finger-sticking trip to the Calderón was just another indication that he's a dedicated professional. Professional doctor, that is. "Alfaro never takes off his white coat. He is so dedicated as to carry out a rectal examination in the middle of a match," Palomar cooed, "that's a real urologist, always on call. You go up for a corner and suddenly he's checking your prostate. Not many doctors would do that."

Conjuring up grotesque images of vets and cows on muddy farms, Palomar continued: "Luckily for Touché, Alfaro defended his team to the limit of his finger, not his elbow. When Ronaldo faces him on Wednesday, he's going to wear shin pads - and a cork." Ah, Madrid - they play Sevilla tomorrow night. No wonder attention was so readily focused.

And Pablo paid the price. He gave away the penalty for Deportivo de La Coruña to defeat Sevilla 1-0 on Sunday night and stay more or less in touch with Madrid (last minute 3-2 winners in Valladolid) and Valencia (6-1 victors in Málaga) at the top. Alfaro held Diego Tristán in the box - penalty box, that is - and strictly speaking it was a penalty, but it was one of those that normally gets ignored and Sevilla manager Joaquín Caparrós not wholly unjustly moaned: "If it hadn't been Pablo it wouldn't have been given".

Maybe Alfaro should have gone where his probing medical skills would have been welcome. Like Malaga, where Valencia's Mauricio Pellegrino collapsed - he's fine but it came as quite a shock after Feher's death in Portugal - or Villarreal, where a dozen fans were hurt after a barrier collapsed.

Espanyol's new Romanian signing Claudio Raducanu threw his shirt into the crowd, really rubbishly, after scoring the only goal of the game. The fans reached forward to catch their hero's short delivery and the metal barrier gave way, sending them crashing face-first to the floor a couple of metres below. Yet according to Villarreal president Fernando Roig, the fans are to blame because they behaved "disgracefully".

"Villarreal could do no more - except maybe apply a firmer hand against people who behave like this," he said pompously. Of course not Fernando. After all, why should a football stadium barrier withstand 15 fans?
 

Fastshow

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Re: Le Goldenballs........

The wonderfully-named Rebecca Loos gives it welly tonight on Sky1 about el Beckham's wobbly-bits and her itimate details of them. Fcuking slag that she is. How could David possibly even consider cheating on Posh?

I mean really, it's scandalous. Think of the children. No one would ever have imagined a young lad named Romeo would come from a broken home........



 

Keeper

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Owen packs his bags.

I'm surpised to discover no one has mentioned the Owen transfer on Friday. I come back from camping to find the report in The Province of all places, and nary a whisper of it on TTP.

While this move can only be good for Mike's career -- Champions experience, higher quality league, top notch teammates, Spanish women -- Real is beginning to disgust me in terms of their ability to snatch up world class players. Just HOW BIG is thier bank account?

Good for Owen, though. He'll really develop as a player now. What is he now, anyway -- 20, 21?
 

djones

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A Barcelona Shirt? That Will Cost You 17 Million Euros
Oct 29, 2004

Spanish league leaders Barcelona are reportedly close to signing a shirt sponsorship deal worth between 13 and 17 million euros.

According to the La Vanguardia newspaper, the club confirmed that they are in talks with an internet company, betandwin.com, and if the deal is agreed, it will be the first time in the team's history that they have carried a shirt sponsor.

"The two parties are negotiating the duration of the contract which will be three to five years," said a club spokesman.

The value of the agreement would put Barcelona second on the list of most lucrative shirt sponsorship deals in Europe.

Bayern Munich lead the way with a 17-million-euro deal with Deutsche Telekom, Manchester United (Vodafone, 12 million euros), Real Madrid (Siemens, 12 million euros), AC Milan (Opel, nine millions euros) and Arsenal (O2, eight million).
 

djones

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Real Madrid plan theme parks in Miami and Beijing

New way to exploit and brain wash soccer fans in Americans...

Real Madrid Plan Theme Parks in Miami and Beijing

MADRID, Aug 5 (Reuters) - Real Madrid plan to construct branded theme parks in Miami and Beijing as part of a strategy to expand and develop marketing opportunities across the globe.

"We are in negotiations with the mayors of Miami and Beijing to create two theme parks," Real Madrid president Florentino Perez was quoted as saying in Spanish sports daily AS.

"They will become the focus for the legions of Real Madrid fans in the powerful and heavily populated countries of the United States and China."

Real are also planning to include a theme park in Madrid at their new training base which is under construction in Valdebebas near the city's Barajas airport. AS reported that the club is aiming to have all three parks in place by 2008.

Real recently returned from an 18-day tour of the U.S. and Asia which was reported to have earned the club some $25 million.

Last month Perez said that Real Madrid's income had increased by 250 percent since he took over as president five years ago and that the club had overtaken Manchester United as the biggest earner in world soccer.

Updated on Friday, Aug 5, 2005 4:54 am EDT
 

Dapotayto

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Dream debut for Woodgate

Ah, poor Jonathan. Waits 17 months for his Real Madrid debut, promptly gets on the field, scores an own goal and gets sent off. Couldn't have done it better myself. Still, they won. Maybe he's a genius in disguise, like me.
 

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