Hands of Stone
New Member
Diet questions answered
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>
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
>
>Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
>
>Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>
>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>
>You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
>
>Hay and corn.
>
>What are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
>
>Need grain?
>
>Eat chicken.
>
>Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
>
>A pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
>
>Q: Is beer, &/or wine, bad for me?
>
>Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right?
>
>My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
>
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>
>Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.
>
>If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
>
>Can't think of a single one. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.
>
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>
>You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
>
>Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
>
>Thicker gravy.
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
>
>Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>
>Are you crazy? Cocoa beans...another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!
>
>I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie...flour is a grain!
>
>
>There! Wasn't that enlightening? Now, I feel GOOOOD!
HOS
>
>
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
>
>Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
>
>Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>
>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>
>You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
>
>Hay and corn.
>
>What are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
>
>Need grain?
>
>Eat chicken.
>
>Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
>
>A pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
>
>Q: Is beer, &/or wine, bad for me?
>
>Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right?
>
>My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
>
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>
>Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.
>
>If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
>
>Can't think of a single one. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.
>
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>
>You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
>
>Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
>
>Thicker gravy.
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
>
>Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>
>Are you crazy? Cocoa beans...another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!
>
>I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie...flour is a grain!
>
>
>There! Wasn't that enlightening? Now, I feel GOOOOD!
HOS