Kamloops 2002

What will happen most in Kamloops 2002?

  • Jinky will sing 'It's Not Unusual' to win the local Karaoke again

    Votes: 6 27.3%
  • Captain Shamrock will be granted a last minute reprieve and be allowed to come to Kamloops

    Votes: 5 22.7%
  • Graham Brown will thump the DJ at the Kamloops dance this year for not playing 'Pour Some Sugar on M

    Votes: 9 40.9%
  • PoCoMo will beat Surrey Rangers in the final after disposing of R.U.F. Idiots in the semis

    Votes: 2 9.1%

  • Total voters
    22
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Fastshow

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Spotted in Camden Market on Sunday 20th April, 2002: Beanbag the Human Couch buying a £10 Hawaiian shirt with angry Koala bears on it that is, without question, the ugliest thing since Johnny Brown's cowboy hat and speedo ensemble. I attempted to buy a gold lame suit with burgandy velvet trim but Jarvis Cokcer out of Pulp beat me to it. Thankfully.

London-Paris-Rome-Barcelona-Kamloops.
 

Rangerforever

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Fasty: you are a witty fcuk.:D

I've never been to this tourney myself, but regularly hear the stories.
I don't know if we're putting an entrant in or if some of our guys will be riding on one of the Delta Metro side's backs.

My hunch is Johnny Brown will do something legendary though.
He's been out of footy for a while and might be rip roaring ready to go by the time this tourney kicks off.

It'll be tough to top the ACL tear off a table or stage or whatever the hell it was like he did last year. :D
 

Fastshow

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JB

RF, I don't think the Captain would give you any odds on JB not doing something legendary though he's only one of the characters on display in the debauched and holy ground of Kamloops. The last time I was there was 2000 (gosh, doesn't time fly?) and the Rangers took a strong side up with them with Woodsy, Jackson, JB and Friese looking like top twats in cowboy hats and speedos but, alas, they couldn't stand the footballing pace amidst all the debauchery that only, seemingly, the mighty PoCoMo can set and maintain and limped out early, scrambling for the viagra.

I don't know what happened last year, really, apart from Beanbag and Guinness, reportedly, falling very much in love. Beano's already got his most garish top ready in which he can rekindle this cross-Atlantic love affair.

I hope the Idiots of Richmond don't come up this year, none of them know how to have a good time. They should merge with the Meralomas.
 

Guinness

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Beanbag...

What a cracker he is!!!;) Beanbag, Captain, Jinky and I did shut down the gardens on a couple of occasions (from what I remeber):rolleyes:
As for the legendary Johnny Brown, well you can only imagine!!! Yes he did pull off one of the more memorable manuvers in recent memory (like I said before)
from what I remeber):rolleyes:
Being Jack the lad, JB decides picking up birds on the dance floor was merely childs play, so somewhere in his wee circus act where the hampster up there never gets off the treadmill which most of us know as "brain" hegets up on the stage... yeh it seemed funny at the time, his antics and his teasing the array of talented hens known to the locals as "chicks"... however that was nothing compared to the classic dance sequence to come... I like to call it JB's "Eddie the Eagle", while up on stage I think he must of needed a beverage of some sort (my guess is a tonic water) and for a dismount figured insted of getting down like the vast majority of dumb drunks deciding they have embarrassed themselves for long enough... Eddie the Eagle makes like Calgary ala 88 and flys/trips/stumbles onto his enthused fans... only problem they split while he was in mid-rotation and Eddie flops to the floor now becoming the clubs broom... after a few seconds (seemed like hours):eek: he climbs to his feet and stumbles over to our table, downs my rye & seven and looks at me (one eye looking at me the other looking for me)
JB "Guinness I really fcuked my knee"
Guinness "Yeah right mate, you just knicked my drink":mad:
JB "Seriously, I think I really did it":(
G "Really, then give me the money and I'll get us a few more more bevies and you won't feel a thing":D
JB "Alright, here's $50 get me whatever you're having":eek:
G "Lads Johnny wants to buy us a round":p
Lads "SHOOTERS!!!":)

...and that your honor is all I can remember.
 

Fastshow

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speculation....

I'm assuming, based on the recent votes, that both the Captain and Jinky have cast their votes on this thread. Where are the rest of the Kamloops faithful?

Is Pokes putting a side in or will there be a TTP Special XI this year? Answers to such questions are, strangely, rather difficult to come by in London.

I'm holding off on buying my Kamloops attire until I've heard some concrete plans from someone in 'the know'. Even then I may just wait until I get there and just nick some clothes off one of the local girls.
:rolleyes:
 

Captain Shamrock

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I definitely will not be playing but will try my best to make it up at least for the dance. I will be Pocomo's manager this year. I'm sure they feel very comfortable with this arrangement.
 

Fastshow

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brilliant....

It occurs to me that the reason we have never won the thing but have always been close is that we have never had a manager, nevermind a manager with the qualifications you possess.

The dream team is shaping up nicely.

I might spring on some special Kamloops cufflinks at lunch today after my Aldgate Exchange fixture.

Four Pints and Four Months from Kamloops from Ten Darts from Greatness.
 

Fastshow

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Anzac Day

Jinky,

Last night I went out with a bunch of Antipodean types into Soho as it was ANZAC day yesterday. As you know, I'd celebrate the birthday of a goldfish so it was a tidy excuse to go out and get lashed. Anyway, enough of me, at our first venue, the Toucan Bar in Harley Street, I was asked by a Kiwi whether or not I'd heard of the Buffalo Club. Well, you can imagine my shock at what I've always thought was a B.C. rugby game. I informed the lamb botherer of my familiarity with the game and told him of my indoctrination into the elite club. I then told the jumped up little oik that the Buffalo Club was as Canadian as Adam Deadmarsh and that he had no right claiming it as one of New Zealand's only contributions to society. Ever.

So, what is it? Is it ours or theirs?

There aren't any fcuking buffalo in New Zealand, anyway. That point pissed him off and he had no comeback to my Matlock-esque powers of reasoning.

They'd also never heard of the 30 second to skull rule.

Clowns.
 

Jinky

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Sorry Fasty, I read this post before, found an answer and for some reason was unable to post it.

Here's what I found on a drinking game site.

This game is one that you have to get your friends involved before you tell them the rules. It's called the Buffalo Club (I don't quite know why it is called that the founder would not tell me). The rules are simple because there is only one rule. First you have to enroll the person in the club by taking their pinky finger with your pinky finger
and making them repeat after you. Have them say the following:

I (state their first and last name) promise to follow all the rules of the Buffalo Club.

After that is done, you tell them the rule. The rule is as follows:

YOU CAN ONLY DRINK WITH YOUR LEFT HAND. IF SOMEONE THAT IS IN THE BUFFALO CLUB CATCHES THEM DRINKING WITH THEIR RIGHT HAND THEY MUST POUND THAT BEER. IF THEY FORGET AND POUND WITH THEIR RIGHT HAND THEY MUST POUND ANOTHER FULL BEER.

TWO IMPORTANT NOTES: (1) YOU ARE IN THIS GAME FOR LIFE.
(2) IF YOU CALL SOMEONE DRINKING WITH THEIR RIGHT HAND AND IT IS ACTUALLY THEIR LEFT THEN YOU MUST POUND A BEER.


As you know, this is essentially correct. It neglects to mention however that if a member is left-handed, he or she must drink with their right hand. If a member is caught, their drink must be checked. If it is more than half-full then that is the amount they must consume in two or less minutes. If the drink is less than half-full, they must drink that amount plus one more full drink in the same amount of time. These rule apply to all alcohol, not just beer as I have found to my great dismay, having to buffalo an entire flask of Scotch on the way to Kamloops as well as the odd bellini, god awful brain freeze BTW.

There are two ways out of the Buffalo club.

One is Death.

The other is by taking out a full page ad in the New York Times declaring your exit from the club. The rest of the rules will of course, be explained as life goes on.

Again, sorry for the delay, I don't know how I could have forgotten to straighten out something as important as this.
 

Jinky

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Oh and I don't know where it originated. I just know that most people in the club cannot remember ever being indoctrinated. But then again if it's done right, they shouldn't.

There will be no Buffalo club mercy in Kamloops this year.

This means you Shamrock.
 

trece verde

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buffalo chips

Couple of other things I remember about this....

I think there was something else about not using the handle on a glass, as well...

Another part, which is a bit hazy now, was a group of young ladies screaming at the top of their lungs.....

"Drink Motherfukcer!
Drink Motherfukcer!
Drink Motherfukcer!
Drink Motherfukcer!..."

until the contents of the glass were sufficiently buffaloed.

I can actually remember this with a number of the clubs I have played with, not just Pornstar United (aka PoCoMo). I also remember getting exemptions for a couple of reasons.....

1) you have a drink in each hand and nowhere to put one down, thus forcing you to drink with both hands....

2) a squalling small child is thrust upon you from the left, forcing you to swap hands momentarily....

3) trophies don't count (some you need to use both hands to drink out of)

See you in Kamloops....:D

Stew:cool:

(also looking for players for his team)
 

Milhouse

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Fraser Valley Favorite

Everything is coming together nicely for the favorites from the Valley.

Delta/Surrey is once again retiurning to the 'Loop with a team comprised of would you believe: Surrey Rangers, Delta Premier, Highlanders and Lions. With the drinking leadership of Jon Brown and a unique combination of youth and experience, this team is ready to take on the PoComo's of the world.

One player, who we'll call Sandy Tafford, has been training overseas specifically for this tournament (soccer, drinking, singing, masturbating...) in the hopes of cracking this Prez/Pak Cup roster.

By the way, someone tell Primo Foods that the Open Div is for the "winning comes second, drinking comes first teams"! I have to give them credit though, nobody does a cool down stretch following their games like they do!!
 

Guinness

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Milhouse

Primo Foods were a bunch of tossers!!! Yeh they might have beat us, but we were drinking all morning before that match;) Not only were they 1st class losers, but they're ladies sitting on the sidelines in their identicle lawn chairs were mingin'!!! Not a looker in the bunch... Then again I was plastered and could barely see the sidelines!!!:eek:
BTW, remember to add a couple of Surrey United lads to that roster!!! If we can crack the line up again???


GuinnesswaitingforthereturnofBeanbag!!!
 

Fastshow

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Sandro....

I have to set you straight, Milhouse. It's Sandro Taffordi now he's in Europe and working in the hospitality industry and he's been training (doing all those things like a mad bastard) to a previously unprecedented level.

You'd be so proud of him.
 

Jinky

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Fastshow,

I certainly hope that you are saving up for your trip from Heathrow to Kamloops International as I'm sure you couldn't bear to miss out on the festivities for a second year.

A word of warning however.

Don't "lift anyone's stick" while they are in mid pick up or you might end up walking through the beer garden looking like this guy.

Shameful, truly shameful.
 

trece verde

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Jinks:

hilarious picture of Vinny....:)

Like the fact that you got his grooming aid for furry cougars in it too.

See you in Froot Loops. We're working on training properly - I've almost got BiteMe back up to 2 beers...:rolleyes:

stew:cool:
 

Guinness

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Fastshow

Any updates or confirmation on whether Beanbag or yourself will be attending the annual muppetfest???
PS. Johnny Brown has a kit in the works (I'm sure it won't disapoint);)

GuinnesssuitingupwiththeDeltaladsagain:cool:
 

Fastshow

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update....

El Beanbaggio has already bought his ticket and will be attending along with one of West Ham's most fearsome (ex) football hooligans. The man eats babies. As previously mentioned for those with goldfishesque attention spans, the portly one has already bought a garish Hawaiian-style top from Camden market in preparation of Kamloops 2002. It is, without putting too fine a point on it, an absolute abortion of taste. Suits him too.

I, on the other hand, have just landed myself a tasty promotion at work so am unsure whether or not I'll be able to skive off in August. Will keep you posted as I'm sure the tournament organisers will be anxious that I attend given my drawing power. Keeper or Dudeshitehandle will be able to make some sort of hilarious gag about drawing pictures now I've given them the ammunition.
:rolleyes:
 

Guinness

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Fasty...

Thanks for the update...
Tell Beano that the Baha Rosa will be waiting for him when he gets back from the gardens...;) I'm not sure if Chief stumblingbuminditch will be making it to K-Town for this years pow wow... Ah well, that would just mean more for us to down at 5am when we arrive back at La Motel...:D


Guinnessstillsearchingforakit:cool:
 
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