Is this True Ballbaby

5bigtoes

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A Jamaican FIREMAN came home from work one day and
told his wife, "You know sup'm, we have a wonderful
system down at the fire station.

BELL 1 rings and we all put on we jackets,
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,
BELL 3 rings and we' jump up pon the fire truck ready
to go.

"From now on when mi seh BELL 1, mi want yuh fi strip
dung naked.
When mi seh BELL 2, mi want yuh fi jump inna de bed.
And when mi seh BELL 3, we a go mek love all night."

The next night he came home from work and yelled "BELL 1,"
The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2," the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3," they began making love.

After a few minutes the "wife" yelled "BELL 4""

Wha de rass is BELL 4?" asked the husband?
"It mean seh yuh fi ROLL OUT MORE HOSE MAN," SHE
replied, "cause YOU' NO DEH NOWHERE NEAR de FIRE!
 

Ballbaby

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First of all 5BT's, why is it when you mention a Jamaican firefighter, I envision some guy snuffing out a joint that has fallen onto his lap?

Maybe what you say is true, about the length of hose that is, but like any male, who really cares anyway? :cool: It's all about me! ;)
 

Regs

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Did this really happen Ballbaby?

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay Liberal and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks,the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

However, one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty and found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace. She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots." He did so, slowly. "Now take off my socks." He did.

"Now take off my skirt." He did.

"Now take off my bra." Again with trembling hands he did as he was told. "Now," she said, "take off my panties." He slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, "Don't you ever wear my clothes to town again!
 

Regs

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I need to know

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then," she replied, "tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain THAT to you."
Balls,

Can the mother really explain THAT? Do you think it was fair of the stewardess? If not, what if the stewardess had really big breasts?

~TB.
 

Ballbaby

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Regs,

Firstly why you would choose to ask me such a question, I do not know BUT I am glad you did.

Yes, I do believe the mother and most mothers can explain the art of pulling out. Pulling out is the oldest form of birth control and is more favourable to donning a latex sheath. Pulling out takes great will power and a responsible soul. It's not full proof because it is much more comfortable just staying put. It's like getting out of a hot tub on a cold winter day. Nobody wants to but you have to.

Pulling out requires timing. Often, I find that thinking of dead puppies will allow me to time things just right and perfect the art of pulling out. My mother did not teach me that. I learned that all on my own.:cool:

Stewardesses with large breasts? Yes stewardesses with large breasts! I can picture that but what of it? What does that have to do with pulling out in time other than having another place to pull in? I am confused.:confused:

Can you elaborate?
 

Regs

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Balls,

I can't elaborate but I must thank you because the dead puppies thing did wonders the other night :D

~TB.
 

Fastshow

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.............

Balls, I too was keen to try out your dead puppies concept but now I know Regs has sex I have access to an image that is even more foolproof.

Thanks for having sex, Regs. Sweet Fanny Adams thanks you too. Probably.
 

Jinky

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Someone obviously butchered that joke.

It's supposed to go, "What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth?

Einstein's dick."
 

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