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Inside the TTP Closet

How many should go Into the Closet?


  • Total voters
    12
  • Poll closed .

knvb

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It was to read 'real piss take' not post and I have already read his wonderful insight into the world of hobbits and large fling birds thank you very much and I have to say I won't do anything that long in a dark room with that many people unless I'm naked.


BTW, who says I didn't take it for what it was? I had a TTP revelation today you know...


We'll see what Dazza has to say about all this.
 

bravedart

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I think KNVB should come out of the closet.

What with the way he whines all the time and how nit picky he is about neatness and his size 29" hips (his "wife" has told me), isn't it obvious. Oh and the way he has to demean everyone like he has to prove how much of a man he is. Oh and his love of fluffers! :eek:

Definitely, KNVB should come out of the closet.
 

Dapotayto

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knvb said:
I have to say I won't do anything that long in a dark room with that many people unless I'm naked
No offense, Beaker, but the next time you go to the theatre naked could you give the general public some warning. Thanks.

As a side note, why is KNVB's pisstake being slammed for being repetitive and Keeper's lame pisstake regarding Beaker's spelling of the word shudder not being scrutinized? Which is more repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive.
 

Fastshow

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Here's an idea, how about we stay on topic?

At last count there were 284 threads devoted to knvb. For me, that's 300 too many but certain people seem obsessed with him. Takes all kinds and, as my Nan used to say, 'There's nowt so queer as folk.'

So, Bravedart..... you seem to have a degree of difficulty with the idea of putting things Inside the TTP Closet. There's nothing in the bastard yet and you're already trying to have things out of the bloody thing.

There's always one.

And you, spud, what of you? My time in the hot-seat expires tomorrow at which point I'll be nominating another poster with five ideas for Inside the TTP Closet for the rest of us to ruminate over. Get your finger out of your coconut, you're letting the side down.

Again.

Play on.

 

Keeper

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As a side note, why is KNVB's pisstake being slammed for being repetitive and Keeper's lame pisstake regarding Beaker's spelling of the word shudder not being scrutinized? Which is more repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive.
If you can demonstrate that I nit-pick over people's spelling more than anyone else, and deserve the associated reputation, then I'll gladly accept it. Until then you can hang that hat on someone else's hook.

Meanwhile you can stick those public washroom hand-driers in the closet as well. Particularly the ones which are mounted so high that the water you're trying to rid yourself of does little more than dribble down your arm and pool at your elbow.

Give me paper, I say. That way I don't have to touch the fcuking filthy door handle that those fcukers who don't wash up contaminate all the time.
 

bravedart

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Why Sir England......I was so gracious as to vote to put all of your little quirps IN the closet. You had described them so eloquently and with such precision in your earlier lecture that I hardly felt it neccesary to expand on such genious, so, to my shame, I resorted to what comes easily to us all, pissing off the red head (or Beaker LOL).

Cheerio, Pip, Pip and all that then.
 

Guinness

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Fastshow's obsession with staying on topic

Finally, you've created a no bad wee thread, but what's with your mod complex??? In all honesty, there wouldn't be so much a stir nor a piss take if the Nazi's took over and banished all "Off Topic" piss takes or in this case nominations for being shoved in the closet... There has been a few good go's in here, which is something of a rare occurance in TTP land lately...
If I may Mr. Angerland sir, here a suggestion to sort out your frustration:
Go stand in the far left corner facing your dish cupboard, count to 10 (silently please) and breath deeply... If it appears to dark in the corner you can take the paper bag off your fat head...

Thanks... ;) (sorry about the emoticon) :rolleyes: (s) :p
 

Dude

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Hos: you secretly want to be lumped in with me. I know you do...it's a hair thing.

And there is nothing wrong with retarded people.

Or spastics.

I thought political correctness got thrown in the closet?

On your bike.
 

SC

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Throw me in, right behind the Lord of the Rings "Return of the Kigs" :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 

Fastshow

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Re: Where does one start?

Right then.

Here's another massive pet hate........ people who use ridiculous abbreviations like, 'LOL'. Invariably the same clowns who use fcuking emoticons because they're not confident enough to stand behind their words........... honestly, the thought of someone sat at a computer desk 'rolling on the floor laughing his arse off' is simply too noncey for words. Give your head a shake.

And another........ vacuous addle-pates who write things like, 'Cheerio, Pip, Pip and all that then.' Has anyone ever met anyone from England who talked like that? Absolutely clueless. For all intents and purposes, a second-class American. Dick Van Dyke isn't actually English in your favourite film though Julie Andrews, as Mary Poppins, is........ munter.

JC, now that the season in which your initials have religious implications is blessedly fcuking done with for another year, allow me to explain something at you;

Sarcasm n.
  1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
  2. A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
  3. The use of sarcasm. See Synonyms at wit[size=-1]1
  1. .
[/size]
Now then, while in no way did I intend to 'wound' anyone with my over-the-top moderating act, if anyone is culpable (guilty to you) of taking things off topic it's I. I was sending myself up. I agree with you, for what it's worth, but it's Dazza's website so there's nowt we can do about it. Do try and keep up.

And for the love of all things Good, if someone comes in banging on about sarcasm being the lowest form of wit I will fcuking have him. Just don't.

Dude, it pains me to have to explain pisstakes to people but it's the world we live in so, unfortunately, it's necessary.......... there really isn't a more un-PC word for halfwits than spastic.

See if you can suss it out now.

I despair.
 

Fastshow

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Re: the passing of the torch..........

So, my tenure at the edge of the closet door has come to an end. You will see the contents of the closet, so far, in a thread specifically devoted to Inside the TTP Closet.

Having carefully considered who should receive the torch from me to run with the next five nominations for Inside the TTP Closet, I have decided on keeper. Not because I feel he will enjoy the rubbish torch-passing metaphor as a result of his love of things fantastical but because I am in complete accordance with him about the lack of paper towelling in modern-day bogs.

So keeper, without further ado, make your thread, post your poll, vent your spleen, swing your leg, sling your hook, and let's see what you have for us to consider for Inside the TTP Closet.
 

Dude

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Dude, it pains me to have to explain pisstakes.......... there really isn't a more un-PC word for halfwits than spastic.

I completely understand your pain, as it pains me to have to explain sarcasm (I know...should have used a smiley). Here, I'll try...

Sarcasm n.
1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
2. A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
3. The use of sarcasm. See Synonyms at wit1.​

Best I can do.
 

Guinness

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Granda Fastshow

Thanks for the lesson on wit and sarcasm, although I had no idea you were somewhat winding us up!!! :rolleyes: (I did it again)... :D (and again)
If you don't like the wee buggers then simply ignore them... You remember simple right??? The term used to explained wannabe Dutch fcuks without an Orange bone in their body!!! Not that there's anything wrong with that if you consider the source and his/her (to be politically correct) alternative...

I give up with you and your superiority complex... Fcuk I'm Irish, Northern Irish actually... From the clean, beautiful, good side, which makes me British and a wannabe at that!!! I guess this makes me simple as well???

As you were.
~Jesus Christ
 

Fastshow

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Re: for fcuk's sake........

Dude, I'm selling the Tyne Bridge, would you like to buy it? I'll give you a good deal.

JC, Jesus Christ! Superiority complex? There's a pisstake, well played.

Now all I need is a response from the third member of this unholy trinity and, apparently, given my superior nature, I can then grant all three of you absolution.

Since it's rather obviously most people's New Year's bloody Resolution to mention Hleucka in every fcuking post.......... oh look, there, I've done it.

Be strong, lads, together we'll beat this thing.


Now I'm going to ban myself for going off topic.
 

knvb

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Go easy on Guinness, he's had an obsession with me ever since he was little and since he never actually grew it stuck.

 

Dapotayto

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Now that we are ridiculously off topic I must ask, what the hell is that a picture of, Fastshow? Looks to me like the Queen of England handing David Beckham the Royal Dildo. Am I wrong?
 

Hands of Stone

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Re: the passing of the torch..........

Fastshow said:
So keeper, without further ado, make your thread, post your poll, vent your spleen, swing your leg, sling your hook, and let's see what you have for us to consider for Inside the TTP Closet.


I am hurt by this selection Fasty, I thought with my one great post, I, HOS, my get the nod for the second instalment of TTP closet, I have some great material, that I hope won't get deleted ;) , have all the time in the world being on Pat. leave, with time to even spell check my picks, in an attempt to top your 3 fer 5 effort for closet items.

I guess my Loose Change can stay in the pocket, back on topic.

hos
 

Keeper

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Re: the passing of the torch..........

So keeper, without further ado, make your thread, post your poll, vent your spleen, swing your leg, sling your hook, and let's see what you have for us to consider for Inside the TTP Closet.
Wise choice, Fastshow. Another, less scrupulous, TTPer might have abused the sanctity of the torch (see below). Miraculously, however, I received a call for work this afternoon so don't expect Vol.2 of The TTP Closet until this evening. I'll take good care of the torch in the meantime.
 

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