I think we all know who the real wanker is...

Captain Shamrock

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Mexi

You're the Wanker of the Month......


bin Laden is all speculation.....

You're not......

Putz......

Captain
 

mexi

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someone is just mad because he's not the only one making NFL picks.

And Bin Laden is not just speculation, check the news and you'll see that he is the guilty party, although only the leader.
 

Fastshow

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question nothing...

Everything on the news is true. Peter Mansbridge says so. And the papers too, they're full of facts. Fcuk, Mexi, you sure showed him. Nice one.
 

Keeper

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Now that the Champions League is under full swing again, my yearly nomination for ESPN announcer Tommy Smyth is in the bag again.

I wonder if all you digital subscribers hear a lot from him.
 

Fastshow

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all the ****-ups ever recorded...this could take an hour to read

A bit of public service reminding everyone that Germans are wankers....... plus it's been a couple days since anyone talked about Germany 1 England 5


2002 World Cup Qualifier - Germany vs England
(Pre-match arrogance - or pride comes before a fall)



I am very sure that we are going to win this game. We are as good as, if not better than, Sven Goran Eriksson's side. I am sure that we are better prepared for this match than England. We will beat England.
Franz Beckenbauer

We don't have to worry about single players such as Michael Owen or Emile Heskey. We have a stronger team and that is what counts.
Carsten Jancker

"David Seaman is past his best. Even I would have saved that shot and I don't play football any more. I don't think Seaman has the same standing in the game as our keeper Oliver Kahn, who is better.
Sepp Maier

Steven who? I don't know him. I am not interested in England, or who is in their squad. I don't have time. I have better things to do.
Steffen Effenberg

In Germany we are not as stuck in the past as the English. We have always kept our nerve and gone on to beat them when it mattered most. They (England) put too much pressure on themselves and they have too much respect. I believe that Germany will win in the end, let's say 2-0.
Pierre Littbarski

I am glad that David Beckham will be fit. Now England will have no excuses when we beat them.
Sebastian Deisler

How are England going to win in Germany? It hasn't happened for 100 years. I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will quite clearly thrash England. They will easily qualify for the World Cup with this match.
Uli Hoeness

Judging from his potential Deisler is a better player than Beckham. He is perfect technically, his crosses are precise, he is dangerous in front of goal, has excellent vision and he is quicker than Beckham.
Uli Stielicke



Some more wankers (though not necessarily Germans);

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God, that must have been one hell of a pass.
Bob Davies (aka Jasper Carrott)

Even if he had scored for Alaves it would have made no difference to the scoreline.
Gerry Armstrong, on Sky Sports)

...and the Spanish champions have come all the way from Spain
Channel 5 commentator

...and the silence in the Bernabeu is deafening
astute commentator on Bayern Munich's away goal against Real Madrid

Ziege hits it high for Heskey who isn't playing
Alan Green - Radio 5 Live


...and now it's Keane with Butt spread wide
Radio 5 Live during commentary on a Man Utd game
That defender is very deceptive, he must be lightning slow.
Ron Atkinson (commentating at Old Trafford 21st Nov 2000)

Lets close our eyes and see what happens...
Jimmy Greaves


We need the players, because without the players, we don't have a team.
Howard Wilkinson (proving he knows what makes a good side)

If God wanted us to play in the clouds, he would have put grass up there !
Brian Clough, expressing his contempt for the long ball game.


At the beginning it was a 90 minute game, at halftime it was a 45 minute game and now it's even shorter.
ABC sports commentator at the 55 minute mark of the Women's World Cup game


The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil and the entertainment value is not much above nil.
from Radio 5 live

Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence.
NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.
David Acfield, commentator

The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out and take us all to Eurodisney.
Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon

I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
Stuart Pearce, Nottingham Forest
What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal.
Jimmy Hill



Credit card application form question : What is your position at the company ?
Jason McAteer's response : Right back.

I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.
Mark Draper

I'd be surprised if all 22 players are on the field at the end of the game - one's already been sent off.
George Best

I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.
Ron Atkinson

Jean Tigana has spent the entire first half inside Liam Brady's shorts.
Jimmy Magee

If they hadn't scored, we would've won.
Howard Wilkinson, with an astute insight into a game that ended 1-1



Forest have now lost six matches without winning.
David Coleman

Liverpool will be without Kvarme tonight - he's illegible.
Jimmy Armfield

Tony Banks described the English fans arrested in Marseilles as brain-dead louts. This goes for me as well.
A Phone-in Caller to "Talk Radio"

I'm not sure Michael Owen is a natural-born goalscorer.
Glenn Hoddle, England Manager

I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.
Ian Rush, (ex-Liverpool) when asked how he enjoyed his time at Juventus

Fortunately, Paul Scholes' injury wasn't as bad as we'd hoped for.
Trevor Brooking

Mark Hughes : Sparky by name, Sparky by nature. The same can be said of Brian McClair.
Brian Moore, commentator

Pitbulls are the greatest dogs once you own one you won't want any other type,
I have 4 Pitbulls, 3 Yorkshire Terriers, and a Dobermann.
Julian Dicks, (presumably he thinks the others are Cats !)




The match will be shown on Match of the Day this evening. If you don't want to know the result, look away now as we show you Tony Adams lifting the trophy for Arsenal.
Steve Rider, commentator

Lombardo speaks much better English than what people realise.
Mark Goldberg, Crystal Palace chairman

Aston Villa will play a lot worse than this and lose.
Alan Parry commentator, with an interesting viewpoint during Villa's cup defeat by Fulham

I'm a firm believer that if the other side scores first you have to score twice to win.
Howard Wilkinson, ex-Technical Director at the F.A., proving that he knows what the game is all about

We probably got on better with the likes of Holland, Belgium, Norway and Sweden, some of whom are not even European.
Jack Charlton, ex-Manager - Republic of Ireland

I thought I was doing quite a good job there.
Roy Hodgson, on being sacked as Blackburn's Manager

You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw.
Kevin Keegan, commentating on Manchester United vs Monaco

We're going to start the game at nil-nil and go out and try to get some goals.
Bryan Robson, (disclosing tactics...?)

'If it had gone in,it would have been a goal.
Barry Davies, commentator



They (Rosenborg) have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them.
Brian Moore, commentator

To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.
from the very insightful (ahem) Ruud Gullit


For those of you watching in black and white,Spurs are in the yellow strip.
John Motson, commentator

Newcastle must still wish they had him to put balls on Ferguson's head.
David Mellor, (MP and football pundit) on ex-Newcastle star David Ginola's recent good form

The game is evenly balanced in Arsenal's favour.
Alan Parry, commentator

I am not here at the moment, If you are the President of AC Milan, Barcelona or Real Madrid I will get back to you.
Joe Kinnear's Answerphone message

With Scott Nisbett every pass is an adventure.
Walter Smith - Rangers Manager

He had no chance of beating Schmeichel from there... but it was always worth a try.
Alan Parry, commentator

Schmeichel's thrown that a long way.. in fact, it's gone all the way to Dublin !
Alan Parry, on the goalkeeper's throw that reached Dion





World Cup '98 Specials


After tonight, England vs Argentina will be remembered for what a player did with his feet.
Adidas advert

The World Cup is every four years, so it's going to be a perennial problem.
Gary Lineker

Apart from their goals, Norway haven't scored.
Terry Venables

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.
Ron Atkinson

The Croatian's don't play well without the ball.
Barry Venison

Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.
Kevin Keegan

I wouldn't be surprised if this game went all the way to the finish.
Ian St. John

I came to Nantes two years ago and it's very much the same, except that it's completely different.
Kevin Keegan

Zidane is not very happy because he is suffering from the wind.
Ron Atkinson

He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it on their faces.
Ron Atkinson

When a game goes like this, there's only one team going to win it now, and that's England.
Kevin Keegan, after England had equalised in the 83rd minute. Final score Romania 2 England 1

And they've got Kanu, a guy with a heart as big as he is.
Kevin Keegan, on the Nigerian forward who has just recovered from life threatening heart surgery. Nigeria vs Denmark 28/06/98


End of the World Cup '98 Clangers




















 

Fastshow

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even more of the bastards........


Reporter: Why did you lose ?
Kenny Dalglish: Because they scored more goals than we did!


It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up.
Ian Wright, on the Arsenal captain's confession to alcoholism

I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got plenty of help.
Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge

Football's not a matter of life and death... it's more important than that.
Bill Shankly


If England are to win this game, they are going to have to score a goal.
Jimmy Hill - BBC

Julian Dicks has been everywhere... it's like West Ham have got eleven Dicks out there.
Metro-City Radio





I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars, the rest I just squandered.
George Best



There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch.
Ron Atkinson praising Gordon Strachan, 39

If the players want to make it hard for me, I'm happy to make it twice as hard for them.
Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game.

 

knvb

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Fcking paparazzi

CD couldn't you have at least put a giant set of hooters behind me like you did for the Captain?

Sore loser
 

Keeper

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Canuck Fans

I've heard this morning about the disrespect NBA fans showed during the Canadian anthem yesterday. But I was pissed at the behaviour of Canuck fans yesterday prior to the face off. Booing during the American anthem was unnecessary, but to not shut the fcuk up during the moment of silence was unforgivable.
 

Gaffa

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Agreed...

Piss poor from the faithful. The minutes silence lasted about 20 seconds. I think the announcer was given the 'cut it short' order by the brass. If they had let it go for the full minute it would have been a disgrace.


:mad:
 

Fastshow

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Anarchy in the UK....

Looking forward to Wednesday when keeper and other revolting types like him try and kick off in The City. As long as they get themselves on the box..... just got this e-mail;
For your information:

The police will use the e-alert and pager alert system to send up to date information on behalf of British Transport Police, the Met and the City Police.

All 3 London offices are on this alert system.

In addition there will be additional guards on patrol at Aldgate House, Monmouth House, & Mark Square.

So far we have been advised of various marches taking place which will pass through the city.

It his therefore recommended that all staff treat Wednesday May 1st as a "Dress Down Day"

All staff should should ensure that they have their secuity ID with them at all times as access to TF premises will not be permitted without it. If you have lost your pass please contact your building reception to arrange for a replacement.

Avoid client meetings on that day as routes in & around the city may well be blocked & access disrupted.

Minimise deliveries, avoid May 1st if at all possible

Minimise visitors - postpone/re-arrange for after May 1st if at all possible

Updates will be sent via email as & when necessary
 

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