How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police

Regs

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Thank you officer

A middle aged man bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SL500. He took off down the road, pushed it up to 130 kmph, and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair. "This is great," he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. But then he looked in his rear-view mirror, and there was a Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing.

"I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 kmph to escape being stopped.

Then he thought, "What the hell am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

The Policeman pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up on the driver's side. "Sir my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Friday the 13th.

If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Policeman and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a Policeman, and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Policeman said, "Have a nice day."
 

Dial 9-1-1

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Keeper

Don't be a dumb fukc and give us a link that goes to porn without at least warning us. Unless, of course, your goal is to get whoever surfs the net at work fired.
 

Regs

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Sending off is in order

So you're at work on an early Sunday morning? Give me a fcuking break...

Do you go to the "beyond the chick tourney" forums at work as well? This is the joke forum and if you had half a brain, you would be able to assume that there will be some "objectionable" material within.

As for the link in question here, it is NOT a porn site per se... it does contain some porn advertising but guess what? You'll find that in quite a few sites across the internet.

Have a nice day at work :rolleyes:

~Regs.
 

Dial 9-1-1

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regs

If this is a "joke forum," then there is nothing wrong with objectionable in terms of written content.

Who cares if it's Sunday morning. Are you telling me that someone surfing throughout the work week won't have access to that post?

All I'm asking is that if you're going to leave a link, at least give a warning that this link has pictures of penises going up anuses.

I don't think you understand how seriously some employers look towards looking at naked women/men on their computers. Call me a tight ass, but I'm sure you have many people who visit this site who work for such companies.

That last post of yours with the nude chick was real classy Regs. Maybe you should add a dancing banana butt fukcung the dancing pumpkin to your smilies.
 

Regs

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Who cares if it's Sunday morning. Are you telling me that someone surfing throughout the work week won't have access to that post?
If someone was so worried about it, then they would know to NOT click on posted links here in the forums during the work week.

Do you not think that a red flag would go up for your employer just with the url takethepiss showing up in the logs?

I'm not going to have people have to post little disclaimers on every fcuking post when it comes to the "fun" portions of the site. I stand by my assertion that it's common fcuking sense and that is what sets TTP apart from other sites out there.

I would imagine that most TTPers come here for the soccer forums. Do you see porn links in those forums? No. And if they started showing up, they would be promptly moderated.

As for the picture I added to my post... do you understand what taking the piss here means? If you don't and you're offended, perhaps TTP just isn't for you.

Note that there is the option of not having pictures automatically show up in posts when browsing the forums as well. Look into it in your TTP options if you still insist on browsing the chick and joke forums here from work.

~Regs.
 

Dial 9-1-1

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Fair Enough

I would imagine that most TTPers come here for the soccer forums. Do you see porn links in those forums? No. And if they started showing up, they would be promptly moderated.
Regs, that's all that I wanted to hear. My bad, I didn't realise that there were forums here that welcomed porn. I'll stick to the soccer forums.

BTW, I'd have no problem justifying visiting TTP to my employer, but I'd prefer not having to explain to him/her that I inadvertently clicked on a link that brought me to a "questionable" site.

There are companies out there that can tell your employer or future employer EVERY site you've visiited as well as EVERYTHING you've ever posted on the internet. Just a head's up to those porn surfers who plan on working for a respectable company.

Apologies to Keeper for my tone, but for me it's just chat room common courtesy (kind of like lifting the seat and flushing) that you add "XXX" to your link.
 

Regs

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Look at the date Keeper posted that link. For all I/we know, the site that the link goes to could've introduced pornography advertising after that date.

No one can control what other sites do to make a buck. Deal with it in whatever fashion you must but I don't want to hear about here :rolleyes:

And while I'm on this topic, don't you find it a little ironic that it was you who posted a pic of a guy sucking his own tit in the Co-ed forums? I would think that that would be a quick way to get your ass kicked by the police :rolleyes:

~Regsbackontopic.
 

Dial 9-1-1

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My bad x2

I can't believe I didn't notice it was from February. I got fooled by his signature, which I must add was a classy gesture (about the Subway fundraiser for children). Like I said, I wasn't happy with the tone of my post, but I'll stand by my other arguments.

I shouldn't have to filter all pictures just because of a few guys who probably have to pay for sex. Any person who posts stuff like that goes straight to my ignore list.

But Regs, let's not compare some fat guy who can lick his tit with some girl who has the ability to shove a 2L pepsi bottle up her dirt road. No irony or hypocracy here.

As for the argument about this being a "Joke thread," nothing cracks me up more than seeing some girl with a fist up both her holes. Who needs Seinfeld with material like that? It's Gold Regs! It's Gold!

Thumbs up!
 

Keeper

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As an aside, I believe that site used to prevent direct linking to such files. As such, I had to link to the page that consequently linked to the file. Since then, however, permissions have changed such that you can link directly to the file -- since then, I've taken steps to do exactly that (in essence, by passing said adverts).

Your's is a reasonable request and I will (though, I can't speak for others) bear it in mind for the future. Nevertheless, when it comes to threads outside of the "Beautiful Game" forum, you might want to heed to a little caution and wait 'til you get home -- lest you desire a conversation with your employer about a continued future with the company.

For your safety I present an updated link: http://download.consumptionjunction.com/multimedia/cj_8443.asf

I must work on my wordiness.
 

5bigtoes

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I wanna hear about more ass kickin' by the fuzz!!!!!!

Well done Keeps!!!

5btlikesitwhenyourfriendsstarttobark......
 

peter

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911's right!

This is what can happen to you if you were to follow some of Keeper's links.

Warning, cable/dsl required (40+MB's) and QuickTime but worth it...
 

Reccos

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That Was Funny!!!!!!!!

Peter: That was very funny and a must watch for all those either seeking work or planning to seek work.

Oh, I like the way you blame Keeper for your finding of this one. Nice cover. I will use the same one myself in future. ;)
 

kurgan

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It is a humorous/ satirical video, or is it typical inappropriate trash porn?
Yes.

(It's safe...and appropriate for the situation)

Go ahead, click it... have faith.;)
 

Dude

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TOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!:D Yes- great find!

Hey Regs- instead of adding a dancing banana butt fukcing the dancing pumpkin, why don't you add a cartoon of 9-1-1 with a stick up his ass???
 

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