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Funny Because It's True


Lifetime Better Bastard
Mar 26, 2006
Dirty Money
A little Christmas story for you form about 25 years ago.

For most of my career, I have had to travel pretty hard. So, understanding that, and being a realistic boyfriend, I have always bought a top shelf vibrator for my girlfriends to keep them happy while I am away.

Back in 1996, I was living in Calgary and dating this hot black woman who was about 3" taller than me, with a humungous rack and bed skills that would make people in porn blush. I came back to Vancouver for Christmas to be with my family, so I gave Hazel her present before I left - a large pink multi-tool with gyrating balls at the bass - set me back almost $200 back then. I figured she would have opened it up soon after I left.

I get a horrified call on Christmas from her. I guess she decided to save it and open it in front of her whole family who I had just met before I left (her sister was even hotter). I still chuckle when I think about that one. My response to her was, "you knew the present was from me, right?"

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