Div 2 Div 2 Championship Training Secrets

Status
Not open for further replies.

the manager

New Member
Est
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
588
Reaction score
0
Location
burbs
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
Div 2 Championship Trainning Secrets

Well, after being graced with the highest level of coaching from the worlds best (i.e. watcher, yomama...) hidden within the confinds of the Div 2 level, I thought it adequate to devote a thread to the training tips and secrets of Div 2 soccer...

this thread should discuss various methodologies used by teams at this level, all for the betterment of the game.

I will begin with your typical NK Hrvat practice.

our once-a-week practice begins at about 6:30 on a pitch that's so dry that a single match would burn the park down. as the first players arrive towards 7ish, a "highly intensive" circle game begins with the youngest players in the middle for the majority of the time (watcher somehow never makes it to the middle).

As 8pm approaches and our predominantly 30 something heart rates rise dangerously close to the 32% of maximum level, we cautiosly break for water before we begin our first of 2 laps around the perimiter of the field. as our mild jog/walk comes to an end, watcher yells for another circle to form and various bouncy stretches are performed and held for 4-6 seconds (total time for streatching: 2.658mins). once stretching is performed, an attempt at sit-ups is made....this ends in a mere attempt 46.43 seconds later.

this moves us to the most technical aspect of our elite training....the scrimmage. yes folks, bibs are distributed and the game is a foot! small nets are placed at either side and 16 touch soccer is played with finess. this fierce element of our training is what makes us a championship team and will ultimately help us win promotion.

Night falls and the practice ends with fast-twitched muscle developing wind sprints that see players reaching excess speeds of mildly jogging. the last burst towards the beer usually results in 3 hammy pulls and a sprained ankle. However, the refreshing and rejuvination that comes once we enjoy the prize of our training (beer) makes the injuries and 4 drops of sweat shed throughout the night well worth it...this is a day in the practice life of the NK train, well on its way to promotion.

post your secrets here

:D

manager
 

the manager

New Member
Est
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
588
Reaction score
0
Location
burbs
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
spelling?

teely,

read thread topic: "Div 2 Championship Training Secrets", not "spelling class thread".

considering the repetitious way spelling errors are brought up and painstakingly used as a piss take, they should not, and from now on by me will not, be considered an intelligent comment or pisstake..

back on topic sister

:rolleyes:
 

Dapotayto

Active Member
Est
Oct 2, 2001
Messages
2,282
Reaction score
0
Location
Uranus
Tokens
5
Dirty Money
100
I don't want to give away too much of our (JB's) obviously successful training practices. I will say, though, that we often scrimmage with as many as 24 players (16 of which are not attached to the team and can barely stand on one foot let alone kick a ball to a specific area but for reasons unknown someone has invited out to the practice) packed into an area one-third the size of a regular football pitch. This results in each player receiving at least one touch of the ball throughout the hour long scrimmage. I know it may sound a little strange but maybe, just maybe, it's revolutionary.
 

knvb

Better Bastard
Est
Aug 17, 2001
Messages
12,029
Reaction score
1,001
Location
My Office
Tokens
2,476
Dirty Money
0
When I played for Slovan in the FVSL (Close enough to Div 2) the 5 of us sometimes carried the coaches kids hockey nets from his truck to the far gravel pitch for fitness. We then went 2 v 2 inside the 18 (Which BTW, we carved out with our feet because we didn't have any cones.) while the odd man out had a smoke.

I miss those days.
 

the manager

New Member
Est
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
588
Reaction score
0
Location
burbs
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
how interesting

keep the secrets coming....some good ones so far:D

maybe we can publish a book of trainig tips and sell it to English Premiership teams :eek:
 

BlazeArmy

Not Bright
Est
Dec 13, 2002
Messages
3,049
Reaction score
3
Location
Club 'Ding
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
Our training sessions tend to be held at random times and almost always at a field that is beibg used requiring us to go to a different park. The last 2 sessions I was informed of the practice a total of 8 hours before. That 2 sessions. Needless to say turnout isn't perfect. Last night for instance we had 15 guys who were told of the session a good 4-5 hours in advance. Apres session we roll to pub(wing night!!!:D ). We proceed to find 3 fellow players who weren't told of practise but had at least saved table for us. Practises tend to consist of some chasing the ball behind the night (ie:shooting) drills and then a 7 a side or so scrimmage. My team usually loses as I am a lazy bastard but it is good fun.
 

Vinnie

New Member
Est
Jul 21, 2001
Messages
375
Reaction score
0
Location
Dumpster
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
a little strange but maybe, just maybe, it's revolutionary
Here is our (Chumplain Heights) revolutionary training method.
Actually, this is the only way I can get the guys to run.
We find the youngest and most eager player and do the following.
We call this donkey traning as it resembles the Carrot infornt of the donkey theory...and some of the guys on the team look like donkeys:rolleyes:
 

the manager

New Member
Est
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
588
Reaction score
0
Location
burbs
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
Classic Vinnie...just what we need, a visual that brings div 2 training into full perspective. just think of how much the division will improve if we begin to impliment the secrets shared here:D
 

angryman

New Member
Est
Feb 1, 2003
Messages
147
Reaction score
0
Location
wooded areas
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
5
Similar Features!!

The CMEN method employs a combination of all the above but begins with the ceremonial passing of the peese pipe for a large contingent of the team which results in the transference of the fantasy that we can play football into some kind of reality. For a while(10 or 15 minutes) there are Beckhams and DelPieros everywhere until finally everyone is sufficiently shagged that some space is allowed and a few passes are made(not just attempted). This is followed by copious amounts of natural painkillers(malt and hops) and more peese pipe to restore the football fantasy.(always with a large contingent of players not actually on the team) I am very glad that we are not alone!! :cool:
 

the manager

New Member
Est
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
588
Reaction score
0
Location
burbs
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
angryman,

our team shares a similar fasntasy: that we can actually play football, except, for the most part we require no natural hallucinagenics as we are already delusional and have the distorted assumption that we are great...ahh, to dream a dream that would somehow be real:p
 

angryman

New Member
Est
Feb 1, 2003
Messages
147
Reaction score
0
Location
wooded areas
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
5
manager-

I suppose if we could achieve a natural state of delusion then we would have more $ for beer! Or equipment- but I’m not used to kicking a real football or playing on a real pitch for that matter! :p
 

kurgan

Lifetime Better Bastard
Est
Jul 8, 2001
Messages
725
Reaction score
59
Location
Abbotsford
Tokens
76
Dirty Money
20
PGR Training

-Usually consists of:

bandcamp (all 5'3, 120lbs of him) claiming that we need fitness then starting off on a 45 min run.

kurgan (6'3, 265) calling him back saying 'fitness is over-rated' and deciding that the team has no touch.

We then proceed to do drills that work great with the U-6 and U-8 crowd. (Alas, no frozen tag last session...) then tsquare claims 'fcuk it, let's scrimage'.

4 or 5-a-side until either dark or injuries decimate us. Then an animated discussion over why we never have enough (any?) pints postgame. bandcamp claims 'a rookie should step up!'

Finally, we start counting and realize we only have eight players fit for the game on Sunday and slink off home.

Sad init?
 

Yomama!

New Member
Est
Sep 30, 2002
Messages
293
Reaction score
0
Location
North Vancouver
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
Manager,

I am insulted that you included my name in your previous post, and then proceeded to outline such a sorry looking practice. Although I don't mind whatsoever participating in one of our "usual" practices, please don't assume that I have any role in organizing them.

Did you notice the absence of the circle drill at yesterday's practice? It gave us a half hour to work on something else!

:D
 

mcdirty

Member
Est
Sep 22, 2002
Messages
319
Reaction score
1
Location
Burnaby
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
Working on something else?

The "something else" we worked on was taking shots on a goalie from 10 feet away.Next time just tie my arms to the crossbar and legs to the posts (just kidding).This is the funniest thread I have read yet!
 

Erion

New Member
Est
Sep 3, 2003
Messages
79
Reaction score
0
Location
Vancouver
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
Hey guys what to hell!At least we are doing some thing and i am sure there are teams who are doing worse than us.Any way YOMAMA the practice was good man as always.If people want a better practice then take the BALL and go some where like me and Goran do.I am not happy with my self so i go indoor and also practice my free kicks when i have time like tomorrow or some thing.
 

the manager

New Member
Est
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
588
Reaction score
0
Location
burbs
Tokens
0
Dirty Money
100
tomama

my bad yomama...you do run a bette practice than watcher...yesterday rocked man. i threw a couple of names in for variety:D
 

number2

Member
Est
Jul 25, 2001
Messages
188
Reaction score
0
Location
Home with the kids
Tokens
2
Dirty Money
100
This is funny!

Seriously though, you guys train? :confused: :rolleyes: :D


The Knights haven't trained in at least 6 or 7 years. Our average age is 35/37 this year. In the last 4 years of division two, the worst we've finished is 4th of 8 or 10 (depending on the year). last year was 3rd of 10 teams and we RARELY had more than 5 guys for a scrimmage once a week at Sportstown.

:rolleyes: Nothing like div 2 for 15 years...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
have i ever mentioned... Beer league...
 

kurgan

Lifetime Better Bastard
Est
Jul 8, 2001
Messages
725
Reaction score
59
Location
Abbotsford
Tokens
76
Dirty Money
20
Survey Says?

So. It's raining.

My question to you all is:

Under what circumstances should a div.2 player train in the rain?:confused:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Members online

No members online now.
Top