Your man Dapotayto was banging on the other day about birds being allowed in pubs to watch the football. Having thought long and hard (ooer) about what is obviously an outrageously politically incorrect notion, I have come to a conclusion.
Now, it should go without saying that I try and tread a liberal path (without treading too hard so as to crush a delicate flower or rare piece of grass) at all times and try to hold my end (ooer) of the bargain with the Association of Policitally Correct Martyrs. My liberal and humanitarian views are well known here on TTP so I was rather taken aback by Dapotayto's misogynic (Japanese soup with Tanqueray) outburst. After deliberating over Dap's effluvium of wallcharts on the matter, I have to say I'm in full accordance with the man. Or, for filling the net, I agree with Dapotayto.
There are few more annoying things in life than trying to watch a football match in an already busy pub only to have the thing ruined by some dozy doris twittering on about, 'Oh Daiviiiid, give it a good kick, Daiviiid. Oooh, look at Daiviid, hasn't he done well? Don't think much of his new neck tattoo but int he laverly? 'Ere, Sandra, 'ave you seen me new 'andbag? Got it from Accessorise innit.'
Fcuk off, doris.
Were that not bad enough, somehow a doris who pretends to know about football is even worse. 'I find it dreadfully upsetting that this will be Pierluigi Collina's final tournament, UEFA should really consider raising the age at which referees are obliged to retire.' Eh? You fcuking what? You're a fcuking bird, don't try and impress me with your footballing nous, it's not big nor is it clever. You either read that in your boyfriend/brother's copy of Maxim or you're a lesbian. Either way, piss off. Shut up and get out of the pub, you're taking up the space of a man. Show us yer tits.
So, as much as I adore the fairer sex, something must be done about the increasing number of the silly cows in pubs while the football is on. They can talk about mascara in a nice wine bar over a bottle of expensive petrol from fcuking Chile. Nothing wrong with that. If, as a man, you're in a wine bar to watch the football, chances are you'd rather talk about mascara as well. If they want to talk about the offside rule and the fact FIFA really has to do something about Ruud Van Nistelrooy seagulling in every competition he plays in then fine. Don't do it in my pub, do it to your poor sackless boyfriend when he's trying to read the paper at home. If I wanted to go out with a bird who knew her football I'd go out with Saint. And teach him about football too.
So, this thread is for men only because, frankly, there are few places left where we can get any peace from the constant barrage of flaming women who think they have as many rights as we have. If you want to talk about the footy without some fcukwit woman sticking her oar in in an effort to get laid and have babies, post in here.
And, when it's all said and done, thank Dapotayto for having the bottle to make a stand for men everywhere....
Now, it should go without saying that I try and tread a liberal path (without treading too hard so as to crush a delicate flower or rare piece of grass) at all times and try to hold my end (ooer) of the bargain with the Association of Policitally Correct Martyrs. My liberal and humanitarian views are well known here on TTP so I was rather taken aback by Dapotayto's misogynic (Japanese soup with Tanqueray) outburst. After deliberating over Dap's effluvium of wallcharts on the matter, I have to say I'm in full accordance with the man. Or, for filling the net, I agree with Dapotayto.
There are few more annoying things in life than trying to watch a football match in an already busy pub only to have the thing ruined by some dozy doris twittering on about, 'Oh Daiviiiid, give it a good kick, Daiviiid. Oooh, look at Daiviid, hasn't he done well? Don't think much of his new neck tattoo but int he laverly? 'Ere, Sandra, 'ave you seen me new 'andbag? Got it from Accessorise innit.'
Fcuk off, doris.
Were that not bad enough, somehow a doris who pretends to know about football is even worse. 'I find it dreadfully upsetting that this will be Pierluigi Collina's final tournament, UEFA should really consider raising the age at which referees are obliged to retire.' Eh? You fcuking what? You're a fcuking bird, don't try and impress me with your footballing nous, it's not big nor is it clever. You either read that in your boyfriend/brother's copy of Maxim or you're a lesbian. Either way, piss off. Shut up and get out of the pub, you're taking up the space of a man. Show us yer tits.
So, as much as I adore the fairer sex, something must be done about the increasing number of the silly cows in pubs while the football is on. They can talk about mascara in a nice wine bar over a bottle of expensive petrol from fcuking Chile. Nothing wrong with that. If, as a man, you're in a wine bar to watch the football, chances are you'd rather talk about mascara as well. If they want to talk about the offside rule and the fact FIFA really has to do something about Ruud Van Nistelrooy seagulling in every competition he plays in then fine. Don't do it in my pub, do it to your poor sackless boyfriend when he's trying to read the paper at home. If I wanted to go out with a bird who knew her football I'd go out with Saint. And teach him about football too.
So, this thread is for men only because, frankly, there are few places left where we can get any peace from the constant barrage of flaming women who think they have as many rights as we have. If you want to talk about the footy without some fcukwit woman sticking her oar in in an effort to get laid and have babies, post in here.
And, when it's all said and done, thank Dapotayto for having the bottle to make a stand for men everywhere....