Dapotayto's Strictly Men Only Euro 2004 Thread

Fastshow

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Your man Dapotayto was banging on the other day about birds being allowed in pubs to watch the football. Having thought long and hard (ooer) about what is obviously an outrageously politically incorrect notion, I have come to a conclusion.

Now, it should go without saying that I try and tread a liberal path (without treading too hard so as to crush a delicate flower or rare piece of grass) at all times and try to hold my end (ooer) of the bargain with the Association of Policitally Correct Martyrs. My liberal and humanitarian views are well known here on TTP so I was rather taken aback by Dapotayto's misogynic (Japanese soup with Tanqueray) outburst. After deliberating over Dap's effluvium of wallcharts on the matter, I have to say I'm in full accordance with the man. Or, for filling the net, I agree with Dapotayto.

There are few more annoying things in life than trying to watch a football match in an already busy pub only to have the thing ruined by some dozy doris twittering on about, 'Oh Daiviiiid, give it a good kick, Daiviiid. Oooh, look at Daiviid, hasn't he done well? Don't think much of his new neck tattoo but int he laverly? 'Ere, Sandra, 'ave you seen me new 'andbag? Got it from Accessorise innit.'

Fcuk off, doris.

Were that not bad enough, somehow a doris who pretends to know about football is even worse. 'I find it dreadfully upsetting that this will be Pierluigi Collina's final tournament, UEFA should really consider raising the age at which referees are obliged to retire.' Eh? You fcuking what? You're a fcuking bird, don't try and impress me with your footballing nous, it's not big nor is it clever. You either read that in your boyfriend/brother's copy of Maxim or you're a lesbian. Either way, piss off. Shut up and get out of the pub, you're taking up the space of a man. Show us yer tits.

So, as much as I adore the fairer sex, something must be done about the increasing number of the silly cows in pubs while the football is on. They can talk about mascara in a nice wine bar over a bottle of expensive petrol from fcuking Chile. Nothing wrong with that. If, as a man, you're in a wine bar to watch the football, chances are you'd rather talk about mascara as well. If they want to talk about the offside rule and the fact FIFA really has to do something about Ruud Van Nistelrooy seagulling in every competition he plays in then fine. Don't do it in my pub, do it to your poor sackless boyfriend when he's trying to read the paper at home. If I wanted to go out with a bird who knew her football I'd go out with Saint. And teach him about football too.


So, this thread is for men only because, frankly, there are few places left where we can get any peace from the constant barrage of flaming women who think they have as many rights as we have. If you want to talk about the footy without some fcukwit woman sticking her oar in in an effort to get laid and have babies, post in here.

And, when it's all said and done, thank Dapotayto for having the bottle to make a stand for men everywhere....

 

Dapotayto

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Oh, facking hell. You're making me miss my program. Oprah's on the tube and she is having the fat chick from The View, the skinny bint from Ally McBeal, the old hag from 20/20 and the stupid bird from Newlyweds on the show today. They are going to discuss the synchronization of menstrual cycles and I don't want to miss it.

I'm surprised to hear such vitriol spewing forth from your computer. Haven't you heard that, 'behind every great man is a great woman'? Interestingly enough, the expression states they are behind the man, as it should be. Except in places like Afghanistan, where they will walk ahead, to deal with the land-mine threat.

Your use of the word cow is alarming. Not to me, but if what I heard is true, I imagine your PM inbox will be lighting up shortly.

I guess this is simply another one for your Sophocles to tackle. Unfortunately for you, we all know he tackles like a one-legged ostrich drunk on Absinthe. Kinda like KNVB swinging a golf club. Speaking of that conehead (Sophocles not KNVB) what's with his play, Oedipus the King? It is prophecized that the dummy (Oedipus not KNVB) will kill his father and marry his mother. So, what does he decide to do? Well, leave town, go kill some guy (his father for those following along at home) and get married. Says a thing or two about prophecies now don't it. Not to mention marriage.

On a side note, I'm still waiting for the Russian version of The Right Stuff to be released. You know how the Yanks took their best fighter pilots, tested and trained them to their utmost limits then selected the cream of the crop for their space program? Well, the Russians thought about it and decided, ah, what the fcuk, send the monkey up. Oh, he's busy in the shitter? O.k., send that fcuking dog up then. We'll send the monkey up later. Those commies were fcuking magic sometimes.

P.s. Who's the bird you've axed from the picture? I suspect she'll be pming you shortly too.
 

Fastshow

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Dapotayto said:
Oh, facking hell. You're making me miss my program.
Seen that one. They all end up crying. Sorry to have ruined it for you.



dapotayto said:
Your use of the word cow is alarming. Not to me, but if what I heard is true, I imagine your PM inbox will be lighting up shortly.
I haven't got a light on my PM box. Have you bought yourself one of the new and improved Premium Member's, um, memberships or have you cashed in some tokens? Doesn't affect me much anyway, the only people who ever PM me are Buckfast telling me he's just off to the fcuking England-Croat match and, well, Balsa. Don't need a light for them two.

dapotayto said:
I guess this is simply another one for your Sophocles to tackle.
I was wondering when someone was going to get around to mentioning KNVB and Sophocles in the same post on TTP. Long overdue, really. Their similarities are very similar.


dapotayto said:
Those commies were fcuking magic sometimes.
I agree completely. They've not been themselves since they turned into Catholics.

dapotayto said:
P.s. Who's the bird you've axed from the picture? I suspect she'll be pming you shortly too.
That's Lita. We're lovers.


Don't tell anyone.


cside17 said:
Brilliant, I concur!
You do? More outrage. I don't, I don't agree at all. Sending a poor puppy up into the heavens is very cruel indeed. Unless it was a German dog. An alsatian, doberman, rottweiller, or dauschund. Fcuking horrible breeds them. Space can have 'em.
 

Fastshow

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The missus at the pub tonight.....

'Who does Rooney play for, Fasty?'

Leyton Orient, pet.

'Oh, right, we should go and watch him next season.'


Later on.....

'Give it to Michael, give it to Michael!!!'

Owen's rubbish, love, he couldn't score with you.


Later still......


'Who does the Spanish keeper play for, I watched their game last night.'

Real Madrid, why?


'He's fit.'


Make yourself useful and get your round in, woman, you're doing my fcuking head in.

 

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