Rarely – and I mean not since Jurassic Park – does a movie succeed in its attempts to overcome the basic elements of story, plot, and acting by relying on special effects alone. The “Wow-Factor”, if you will.
Constantine is not one of those movies.
So much more could have been done with this movie. The concept is interesting, albeit somewhat unoriginal – an exorcist suffering from lung cancer dedicates his life to battling demons from Hell in hopes of regaining the ability to go to heaven. Unfortunately we spend the first half of the movie imagining it as a biblical edition of The Matrix, the second half comparing it to Blade, and bit of the middle thinking of Dogma. Despite a few clever touches of humour (Satan is a Frenchman) and some very convincing and elegant special effects, there are still many problems that weigh it down.
Mistake number one: Keanu Reeves. At what point will someone in Hollywood – someone with an ounce of production power – realize that black hair and a flat stomach, an actor does not make? This man, despite his dumb luck in leading one of the best movies of the 90’s (The Matrix), cannot act. He has no timing, charisma, inflection, passion, or anything else that a decent actor needs to survive in show business. He may, however, look good in a black coat, but that's not the point.
Mistake number two: Blade and Blade 2 are both available on DVD. Blade 3 is currently in second run theatres. Those boats have sailed. There is no point in trying to wow us in slaughtering a room full of demons with holy water falling from the sprinkler system and gold bullets set to a soundtrack of industrial techno music. We saw Wesley Snipes do that seven years ago. And he did it better.
Mistake number three: Why would a man who exorcises demons from Hell need Dragon’s Breath, a weapon of fire? Demons live in fire. Duh.
And it goes on.
Constantine is not one of those movies.
So much more could have been done with this movie. The concept is interesting, albeit somewhat unoriginal – an exorcist suffering from lung cancer dedicates his life to battling demons from Hell in hopes of regaining the ability to go to heaven. Unfortunately we spend the first half of the movie imagining it as a biblical edition of The Matrix, the second half comparing it to Blade, and bit of the middle thinking of Dogma. Despite a few clever touches of humour (Satan is a Frenchman) and some very convincing and elegant special effects, there are still many problems that weigh it down.
Mistake number one: Keanu Reeves. At what point will someone in Hollywood – someone with an ounce of production power – realize that black hair and a flat stomach, an actor does not make? This man, despite his dumb luck in leading one of the best movies of the 90’s (The Matrix), cannot act. He has no timing, charisma, inflection, passion, or anything else that a decent actor needs to survive in show business. He may, however, look good in a black coat, but that's not the point.
Mistake number two: Blade and Blade 2 are both available on DVD. Blade 3 is currently in second run theatres. Those boats have sailed. There is no point in trying to wow us in slaughtering a room full of demons with holy water falling from the sprinkler system and gold bullets set to a soundtrack of industrial techno music. We saw Wesley Snipes do that seven years ago. And he did it better.
Mistake number three: Why would a man who exorcises demons from Hell need Dragon’s Breath, a weapon of fire? Demons live in fire. Duh.
And it goes on.
