Biggest Cheats at Euro 2004

[Fastshow]

You know what I'm on about.

The old spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch load of bollocks.... it gets all so very fcuking tiring watching all the holy roller romans ponce about doing it. I know the Vatican's PR department is second to none but there's no place for it in football and, to make matters worse, it makes them all look like twats as they compete with one another for the Pope's attentions. Christiano Ronaldo, for instance, does three lots of eenie meenies before shoving his fist into his mouth, doing a forward roll, and finishing with a quadruple lutz.

It puts God in a very fraught and unnecessary position; how can a loving God choose one religious fanatic over another? Particularly when both sets of genuflecting wankers are also competing with one another to see who can trick, con, manipulate, and cheat the referee as much as they can. It's not right and, in this day and age of political correctness gone mad, it's someting that needs to be abolished. Either that or the PR departments of churches not based in Italy need to up the ante.

God's got enough on his plate having to preoccupy Himself with Muslim fundamentalists these days than worry about whether Puyol crossed himself more times than Deco before they started diving all over the show, clutching their beads and pulling faces like someone gurning on too many disco buscuits.....

 

[Jinky]

You know what I'm on about.

The old spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch load of bollocks.... it gets all so very fcuking tiring watching all the holy roller romans ponce about doing it.

That's not genuflecting.

genuflect.

Main Entry: gen·u·flect
Pronunciation: 'jen-y&-"flekt
Function: intransitive verb
Etymology: Late Latin genuflectere, from Latin genu knee + flectere to bend -- more at KNEE
1 a : to bend the knee b : to touch the knee to the floor or ground especially in worship
2 : to be servilely obedient or respectful
- gen·u·flec·tion /"jen-y&-'flek-sh&n/ noun


I take your diatribe as a personal attack on me and the religion you know full well I hold so dear. You are obviously jealous of the special and intensely private relationship I share with Our lovingly fraught Lord and the unique way I am able to publicly demonstrate it on international soccer portals, in pubs, on football pitches, at magic shows and at no fewer than 27 other highly populated venues.

It's all about me, me and Jesus.

 

[Fastshow]

Ah yes, you, forgotten about you hadn't I innit?

You are, of course, absoutely correct about the genuflection befuddlement and I proffer my congratulations on having, finally, managed to entice people to your magic shows. As everyone's favourite Byzantine Catholic Freddie Mercury sang, when pressed to comment about Jinky's magic shows, 'It's a kind of magic.'


While I admit, in all the excitement, I became muxed stip about my catholic symbols and gestures, all is not lost...

Entry:** genuflect
Function:** verb
Definition:** bounce
Synonyms:** bow, duck, hop, jerk, jounce, leap, nod, oscillate, quaver, quiver, ricochet, seesaw, skip, waggle, weave, wobble
Concept:** motion (slow)

I put to you, Father Jinky of the Necromantic Parish of the Sixteen Sacramental Picadors, that the footballers of whom I despair genuflect as well as crossing themselves ridiculously. Some of them are so deeply religious they begin to genuflect before even the referee can spot the fact they are simply close to an opponent. For all my research, I can't seem to find where it says they must gurn in order to make the Vatican sit up and take note. Pope used to play in goal innit?

So, as much as yours is a kind of magic, theirs is a kind of geneflection. Maybe.

Maybe they're just fcuking cheats who like to cross themselves for some reason.

I'm off to find other things to be angry about. Good job you spotted my cokc-up before Lita's son did.

So to speak.

 

[zenga]

Th biggest cheats are UEFA itself...

You all are going to say that Im crying because of what happened to Totti, he deserved it but Frei from Switzerland spits at I think Gerrard and get banned for 15 days.

BS I say!!!

 

[Fastshow]

I agree with you Zenga (I never thought I'd write that). Not that an Englishman would ever spit at an opponent (always more likely to just lamp someone square in the face, a far more manly exhibition of idiocy), of course.

John Motson, who is brilliant when he doesn't speak and once came on to my old lady's Mum, said last night, in a rare moment of lucidity and interest, that one of the Croats (dunno which one, they all look the same to me) had been up on drugs charges during the season and was found guilty. Rio Ferdinand anyone? Not even found out to be a drugs cheat, just a fcuking thick-as-you-like bell-end from a Peckham estate.

UEFA? At least they're consistent in one respect; their inconsistency. The sooner Blatter shoves to count his sheckels off the better for football in general.....

 

[Keeper]

As I understand, the Swiss dude received a 15-day suspension, while Totti received a 3-game penalty. If you include all of the days inbetween, Totti's would add up to a . . . er . . . um . . . 9-day suspension, maybe? Probably a few more than that, though. Regardless, it would be less than the Swiss. Why? Totti admitted his transgression while Frei (I think that's his name) denied it (read: lied). Whether you agree with their actions or not, UEFA (FIFA?) went tougher on a player who didn't just come clean with their behaviour.

 

[Keeper]

Dive! Dive! Dive!

 

[Skip]

As I understand, the Swiss dude received a 15-day suspension, while Totti received a 3-game penalty. If you include all of the days inbetween, Totti's would add up to a . . . er . . . um . . . 9-day suspension, maybe?

If I'm correct, Totti still has one game remaining on his three game international ban. I think this means he will still have to sit another game, which will be Italy's nexy World Cup Qualifyer. If this is in fact the case, his penalty would be far more than 15 days. Again, I am not sure, but this seems to make sense to me. No??

 

[Keeper]

Makes sense -- sucks to be him.

I guess that really was one magic luggi.

 

[Keeper]

Two-match ban for Van Nistelrooij

Netherlands striker Ruud van Nistelrooij has been banned for two international matches by UEFA's control and disciplinary body for insulting referee Anders Frisk.

Post-match confrontation
Van Nistelrooij confronted Swedish match official Frisk at the end of the UEFA EURO 2004™ semi-final against Portugal on Wednesday. The hosts won 2-1 to reach Sunday's final against Greece at the Estádio da Luz in Lisbon.

Appeal possible
UEFA said the suspension applies to the Netherlands' first two matches in the 2006 FIFA World Cup qualifying competition. Van Nistelrooij may lodge an appeal against the verdict by midnight on Monday 5 July.

Serves him right, the bastard. He could've/should've received another 2-match ban for those cleats down Ricardo's thigh in the Quarters.